Aberrant: 200X - Nova News Feed!

[Nova OOC]

In this thread, news blurbs about characters may be posted. Please use the appropriate journalistic style and tone for the publication which is being quoted.

Some suggested links for those who may be a bit wobbly in the use of journalistic style:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/News_writing

http://www.economist.com/research/styleguide/

http://www.bbctraining.com/pdfs/newsstyleguide.pdf

http://www.usu.edu/journalism/faculty/sweeney/resources/ap.htm

The moderators reserve the right to delete or edit (preferably edit) pieces which are inappropriate or contain egregious errors that would never make it past an amateur news editor.

[Jason Grant]

N! News Daily for Marth 24, 2008

Nova Coma Patient Wakes Up On N-Day!

Yesterday at 5:18pm EST a Nova who has been identified as Jason Grant, of Olivet Kansas, awoke from a ten year coma. Sources close to the recovered nova claim that Jason lapsed into a comatose state upon erupting on the original N-Day ten years ago. He has been a ward of Project: Utopia since that time.

Doctors at the Havilland Institute of Manhattan, the Triton facility where the young man currently resides, could not be reached for comment. Jason's only surviving relative, older brother David Grant said only that "We are glad and thankful that he (Jason) is on the way to a full recovery and look forward to having him come home."

<Click for full story>

[z-Sean "Loki" McCline]

From the Baltimore Sun

Home > News > Local Politics

Eruption in Hospital Kills Twelve

Teenager responsible was son of doctor

By Anna Rochport | sun reporter

March 25, 2008

When William Martin checked into John Hopkins Hospital on March 23, he thought he was coming in for an outpatient operation to repair a hernia. He couldn’t foresee the event that would change a simple procedure into a life-threatening situation.

Twelve are dead after an eruption which released an electro-magnetic pulse (EMP) in the emergency care unit. Tragically, the ICU and the NICU were within the radius of the EMP, short-circuiting and shutting down life support machines. Of the twelve dead, seven were infants in the NICU. The new nova, who is a minor and whose name is being withheld by the Rashoud Facility, appeared to erupt in reaction to a violent patient.

The patient, Marcus Terrance, had been brought to the hospital for treatment of wounds received while resisting arrest. Terrance is accused of possession with intent to sell. While the doctors were working on Terrance’s wounds, he pulled a small pistol and attempted to take one of the emergency room doctors hostage. Her son, volunteering at the hospital that day, saw the attack and erupted. He attacked the assailant, releasing an EMP blast into the area. The assailant was killed from a combination of his wounds and being pushed through a wall by the nova.

The doctor in question was the mother of the nova. She was shot before the nova could subdue the patient. She died later from her wounds, and her name is being withheld until next-of-kin can be contacted. Jack Applebaum, one of the Baltimore officers who brought Terrance into the hospital, stated that the accused had been searched for weapons. An investigation by both the Baltimore PD and the hospital will be conducted in the near future. When asked if the young nova would face charges, Steve Collins, the Baltimore Chief of Police, had no comment.

According to hospital staff, the teenager had been volunteering at the hospital for the past six months. "I'd never known [him] to be violent," one of the hospital staff said on condition of animinoty. "He's a sweet boy, very protective of his mother. It was just the two of them and they watched out for one another."

Martin survived but, like many others who attached to machines that were affected by the EMP field, will face future complications. “I may sue,” the forty-seven year-old resident of Towson, Maryland stated. “I’m talking to my lawyer right now.”

[Pandora]

N! News, March 27, 2008

T2M's Pandora finally out and about

By Daniel Lewis

Addis Ababa:

T2M's Regan 'Pandora' McLachlan has finally been seen in public after the horrific earthquake last December in Genkei, Japan, which left her severely injured due to impalement by a steel pylon. Dressed in a new uniform that proudly shows off her scarring (and the heavy black tattooing which covers it), she stood by Caestus Pax as the leader of Team Tomorrow gave this following statement:

"Due to the significant injuries that she sustained during the course of her duties, Pandora has been reassigned to Auxiliary status with T2M Central until the age of twenty-one. This is through no fault of her own or any oversight by Team Tomorrow in her training, but to be certain that her physical rehabilitation will be complete."

When questioned on the decision to bump her back to Auxiliary status after becoming one of the youngest T2M'ers ever, Pandora replied: "I'm glad to have some extra time to myself. I might get that PhD I've always wanted."

[Zer0]

April 02, 2008

High School Disappearances Shake Up Kansas Town

Bryan Hall - AP

DOWNS, KANSAS -- The sleepy town of Downs, Kansas was the source of a new wave of anti-nova emotion when it was discovered that six of its local high school students had gone missing. The parents of the students have requested that the names be kept confidential but have expressed a deep sadness and regret that formerly upstanding members of society have gone and done such a heartless thing as taking their children.

An intersection traffic camera as well as a number of other security tapes show, quite plainly, XWF Black Circle Champion and Superstar Duke "Core" Baron driving up to the students in a quite impressive SUV as they were walking away from the local McDonald's. The conversation could not be heard but the tape showed an ecstatic reaction from the students and shortly thereafter the students climbing into the vehicle with the champion. This is the last time any witnesses saw the students.

XWF Chief Executive and professional wrestling legend Ric Flair went on record saying "This is absolutely freaking ridiculous. Whoever did this is a liar and a coward. Core's a real man, he doesn't have to prey on little kids. He's got plenty of fighters in The Combat Zone every Monday to go after. And you can bet your behind that there will be a 'special guest' match when this punk is found. WOOOoooo!!!"

Duke Baron could not be reached for comment. More to come as this drama unfolds.

[Magnum Opus]

DIS-ASS-TER!

Nova Newcomer Knockout's Nudity Nukes Networks

APRIL 8TH, 2008

CALGARY - Nova fighting fans watching the East Beats West exhibition got more than an eyeful, Tuesday night.

During a matchup between novas Burninator and Knockout - both of whom were making their public debut on th program - Burninator hit Knockout with a blast that burnt off her clothing.

Knockout seemed to not notice, and hit Burninator hard enough to knock him out and win the fight.

The XWF and Most Excellent Super Fight, the two promotional organizations behind the show, have been hit with a lawsuit from federal authorities. Knockout herself is being sued directly by seventeen people claiming "significant heart trouble" began after seeing her unclothed.

A spokesman for Most Excellent Super Fight denies that Knockout's suit was insufficiently insulated or that Knockout herself was under-trained.

The XWF has condemned the incident.

"Nudity has no place on our program," said Gregory Wynn, Director of Public Relations for XWF Inc. "People expect the best, bloodiest and most bone-crunching nova-on-nova contests imaginable and we have always prided ourselves on our dedication to keeping such content family friendly."

Video of the incident has reached over six billion hits on YouTube. When contacted, a spokeswoman for Google stated "it must be a glitch because there aren't that many computers on Earth."

Knockout herself was unreachable for comment. Her manager, Conrad Francis Blake, spoke on her behalf.

"You guys better leave my buddy alone, man. She won't even let me see the goods and I'm her roommate at the University of Calgary. She's had a lot to deal with since I accidentally turned her into a girl and she doesn't need any more."

BREAKING - New Nova Knockout a Transsexual?

RELATED - Antaeus: "I'd Hit It"

[Dozer]

April 9th, 2008

New York City - Yesterday, at a construction site in Downtown Manhattan, a man fell from a 40th story scaffold. While co-workers and witnesses watched, Mr. Dillon Sayer stepped backwards a bit too far, and fell off the scaffolding. Unlike many others who have fallen before him, Mr. Sayer survived the fall by becoming something else. He is presumed to have erupted upon impact with the ground. While we couldn't get a clear statement from Mr. Sayer, witnesses report him as getting up within seconds of impact, looking up, then passing out. When the police and ambulances arrived, Mr Sayer had already undergone a massive change. He no longer looks like a normal "baseline." He seemed to be covered in steel. He was taken, in an ambulance to Utopia's Manhattan Rashoud Facility, where he was processed and is currently undergoing evaluation. Utopia's spokesperson commented only briefly by stating, "While Mr. Sayer has become fodder for the press, please retain some modicum of civility when speaking with him. He almost died. Further comments will be made through his family."

[Mr Fox]

April 12th, 2008

The N! Network - Today a tragedy turns to hope. Good evening, this is Violet Cameron with Nova Planet reporting. On today's show we have special guest Nathan Black star of his own show here on the N!network. But first we have some breaking news about last nights eruption of a teen in Texas. The police and hospital are still withholding his identity due to his age, but we at N! have learned some details of the tragic situation that we will share with you. Just to bring our viewers up to speed, incase they haven't been watching; it seems the young man and his date were enjoying an evening out and were attacked by three gang members intent on murder and rape. They would have succeeded too if the young man hadn't erupted after being hit in the head in the head by a baseball bat and then beaten. According to the statement the young lady gave the police, the men first cracked his skull open then took turns beating him with the baseball bat. Afterwards they turned their attention to the young woman and prepared to assault her. That's when the young man erupted and killed two of the attackers and scared the other away. Police are still looking for the third attacker. According to Police Chief Darrel Walters, they do have a gun with a clear set of fingerprints. He urges the attacker to turn himself in. When I spoke with the Chief, he said that it wasn't likely that the young man would be charged with any crime since it seems pretty clear from the evidence that it was a case of self-defense.

The young man was admitted to St. Elizabeth's emergency room in critical condition. His list of injuries included a cracked skull, five broken ribs, three gunshot wounds, a punctured lung, and internal bleeding. Last night despite his eruption doctors were only giving him a 5% chance of pulling through due to the extent of his injuries. Tragedy indeed.

Here's where the hope I mentioned earlier comes in. Just before the show aired, I personally spoke to the hospital and the young mans condition has been downgraded to stable. Despite the fact that he is still in intensive care doctors are now saying that with a little time they expect him to make a full recovery! Yet another miracle of the nova age.

N!network will continue to report as details come in and keep you updated on his condition. Now stay tuned, after the break we will be speaking to Nathan Black about his upcoming book, Life with Novas.

*the camera pans across the audience as they applaud and fades to commercial*

[Guest N!News]

“Terrible news tonight out from Manhattan. Police and Utopian officials are looking into a bizarre murder that took place in Harlem within an old abandoned church.

Utopian officials claim a homeless man discovered the body of the enigmatic nova known as ‘The Revenant’ earlier this morning. While officials refuse to disclose any details of the crime scene reports to say that he was impaled, through the heart with a stake.

Sources have told us that Utopian novas identified the murder weapon as a stake of pure magnesium. Attached was a sign reading: “Do Not Remove, You’ve Been Warned”.

Scary stuff. We’ll have more for you as the story develops.”

[Jael Carver]

Search called off for missing teen

by Ralph Johnson - May. 7, 2008 10:43 AM

The Arizona Republic

PHOENIX - Two weeks after a Phoenix youth ran away from home, the search has been called off for him. "At this point, we have no expectation to find James Guhde alive, or to find his body," Detective Gutierrez said in a prepared statement. "If he did follow through on his claims in the note he left behind and jumped into the Grand Canyon, then had he survived, we'd have found him by now. At this point, I expect that the Park Rangers and the Coconino County Police Department will turn this into a recovery mission, not a rescue mission."

Dozens of experienced hikers have been arriving at the Grand Canyon over the last two weeks to help in the search. Dozens more were turned away because the Grand Canyon Park Rangers were worried about inexperienced campers hurting themselves trying to find Guhde. "We have lost one young light," Reverand Jerad Conners, the Gudhe family's pastor and one of the experienced hikers looking for Guhde, "we don't want to lose anyone else."

Another person barred from the search was Gudhe's ex-girlfriend Jael Carver, who made news herself after her eruption earlier this year. The police have refused to comment, but it is widely believed that Carver is the woman referenced in Gudhe's final note, in which he stated that he didn't want to live in a world "where she can do what she wants, and I have to be ok with it." According to classmates, Carver and Gudhe ceased their relationship the Sunday before his disappearance, which was the last time they talked. The police have not named her as a suspect but have not allowed her to join the search. Carver has given no comment about this situation.

His parents say they are not giving up. "My son isn't dead," Mrs. Gudhe said in an emotional statment to the press. "I'd feel it if he were. He didn't do it and is hiding, or he erupted, and something's happened. But he's alive, and we'll find him."

Mr. Gudhe added, "I blame the NQA for his disappearance. They made him think he had a chance." Several online pamphlets and other materials from the NQA site were found on his home computer. The NQA, short for No Quantum Accident, advocates the safe, intentional eruption of latents. At this time, the organization urges all those interested in forcing their eruption to take as many safety precautions as they can.

Those interested in helping look for Guhde should contact Jerad Conners through the God's Light Assembly Church. Reverand Conners and his church will continue to look for Gudhe. "We don't intend to stop," he said, standing with the Guhde family. "We will look as long as it takes to bring Jimmy home."

[Cain PI]

Terat Ex-Lover Denies Slider's Murder

Associated Press, printed with permission, New York Times

In wake of the tragic and too-recent loss of international Team Tomorrow heroine Jennifer 'Slider' Landers and the suspicious and chilling events that followed at her subsequent wake, all eyes have turned outward, asking who could have been responsible for this horrible crime. Suspects are are anything but in short supply, many of whom claim allegiance to Divis Mal's terrorist group, the Teragen. One nova, specifically, was among those top suspects sought for questioning in not only the murder of Jennifer Landers, but the 2007 murder of Tibetan nova Tenzig 'Sutra' Norge, the former Team Tomorrow nova and ex-lover of Slider, Henry 'Cain' Jeager.

The infamous prodigal son of Project Utopia dated Landers four four years, between 2000 and 2004, followed by a private but reportedly tumultuous breakup. Henry then joined the Teragen shortly after the public announcement of their existence, in November of 2005. Since then, Jeager has been linked to a string of characters in the Teragen wanted for crimes ranging from robbery to murder to international terrorism.

While both Project Utopia and INTERPOL are keeping their list of suspects close to their chests, a representative from the latter agency, Director Raymond White, described Jeager as "low priority". This seemingly inexplicable exoneration came after a video tape provided to the agency by a source who remains anonymous was leaked on the OpNet, showing Henry Jeager at the Amp Room in Ibiza, Spain, for the duration of the evening's events. "We don't know everything Mr. Jeager is capable of", remarked White, "though considering what we do know, and taking into account the events that have transpired since this incident, Mr. Jeager is currently not a suspect in this crime, though make no mistake, he is still a fugitive from justice."

Shortly after this declaration, a letter addressed to the Staff Editor of the New York Times arrived at [their] offices in Manhattan, allegedly written by Jeager himself. The handwritten letter, reprinted below, reads:

"I wish to express my deepest and sincerest despair at hearing of Jennifer's murder. I cannot articulate, in mere words, the depth of sadness and anger this news provokes in me. Speaking as someone who knew her intimately, I can affirm for anyone who did not that she was every inch the person people believed she was, and then some. Her kindness, sincerity, warmth, and passion were unmatched in the world of baseline or nova, and the world is and shall be a darker place for her being taken from it.

Of course, one cannot mention Jennifer's death without addressing the cause. Many fingers have been pointed already, and by virtue of my relationship with Jennifer and my current political affiliations, I knew that some would be pointed at me. I am writing this letter chiefly to let you, the people who loved her, know that I had nothing to do with this despicable, revolting, wicked, and dishonorable deed. While Jennifer and I had a parting that left many raw emotions for quite a while, we never wished each other harm or had anything but caring and respect for each others' wishes. Ideology kept us apart, but we remained admirers unto the other. Furthermore, I also wish to state that to my present knowledge, no member of the Teragen was responsible for this act. While the Teragen and Project Utopia differ in their perspective, Jennifer was a credit to nova and baseline humanity alike. If it is revealed that any member of our organization was responsible for this heinous deed, I wish to emphasize that said individual does not speak for myself or the Teragen as a whole, and that any such person would be dealt with most harshly by his nova brethren.

It is my hope that the person or persons responsible for this action will be found and killed. Seeing as how most people figure I'm a terrorist and murderer already, I'm not going to sugarcoat it: I want the sons of bitches dead. Whoever did this has extinguished one of the brightest flames our humble history had ever sparked. Not being a church-goer, myself, I humbly submit that whatever waste of life did this suffer so slowly they'll think they're in Hell. If I find them first, I shall be their Devil.

.H Jeager"

Response to the letter has been varied. A USA Today online poll found that while only 36% of readers believe Jeager had nothing to do with the murder, a staggering 69% agree with the assertion that whoever committed the crime should face capital charges. Prior to the Slider Funeral, a full 18% of readers charged Jeager with the murder itself, but after those events, Corbin and Project Utopia have taken up the lion's share of the suspicion, leaving the Teragen with a humble 22%, and Jeager himself virtually out of the running.

What did you have to say about this? Here's what some of our readers thought, sounding off on our web log, soundoff@ap.op:

Model87: It's dumb to think that Henry would be in...

<...>

[Eingar]

One of the 200 disappears from rehabilitation.

In a strange turn of events, Peter Nord, a British nova who has just recently finished a 10 year jail term for murder, has disappeared from a "halfway house" facility used for the psychological evaluation and rehabilitation of serious criminals.

Mr Nord made headlines in late 1998 after the public killing of Dean Leadbetter, a career criminal responsible for the murder of Nord's wife. One of the more notable facets of his case was that, after turning himself in to the police, he is believed to have not spoken a word since.

"We believe Mr Nord to be no threat to the public or himself, or he would not have been released." The British Home Secretary was quick to announce in an impromptu press conference. "Throughout his stay in Parkhurst Prison, he exhibited no criminal tendencies, no aggressive behaviour, and was in fact a model prisoner. The department of Her Majesty's Prisons is merely concerned for his state of mind and that he is able to make a successful re-entry into society."

Meanwhile, public opinion is firmly on the side of Mr Nord.

"The poor man has suffered enough." Glenda Leadbetter, 53 and mother of the deceased Dean Leadbetter, said earlier today. "My son was no angel, and did a terrible thing to a good man. My heart goes out to Mr Nord and I hope he finds a way to be whole again."

[Eingar]

One of the 200 disappears from rehabilitation.

In a strange turn of events, Peter Nord, a British nova who has just recently finished a 10 year jail term for murder, has disappeared from a "halfway house" facility used for the psychological evaluation and rehabilitation of serious criminals.

Mr Nord made headlines in late 1998 after the public killing of Dean Leadbetter, a career criminal responsible for the murder of Nord's wife. One of the more notable facets of his case was that, after turning himself in to the police, he is believed to have not spoken a word since.

"We believe Mr Nord to be no threat to the public or himself, or he would not have been released." The British Home Secretary was quick to announce in an impromptu press conference. "Throughout his stay in Parkhurst Prison, he exhibited no criminal tendencies, no aggressive behaviour, and was in fact a model prisoner. The department of Her Majesty's Prisons is merely concerned for his state of mind and that he is able to make a successful re-entry into society."

Meanwhile, public opinion is firmly on the side of Mr Nord.

"The poor man has suffered enough." Glenda Leadbetter, 53 and mother of the deceased Dean Leadbetter, said earlier today. "My son was no angel, and did a terrible thing to a good man. My heart goes out to Mr Nord and I hope he finds a way to be whole again."

[Eingar]

N! - THE ONLY TRUE SOURCE FOR ALL YOUR FAVORITE NOVA NEWS!

DeVries Rookie Makes His Mark

Namibia, 29 July, 2008

There's a new quantum sheriff in town, Nova-watchers!

Yesterday, the sleepy Namibian town of Ombulantu today played host to a battle of the titans as an unnamed nova, believed to be working as part of a large-scale poaching ring, went head to head with DeVries newest blue-eyed boy, Einherjar.

Witnesses watched from a safe distance as the two novas duked it out in the sweltering town square, the conflict causing a relatively low $2350 dollars of property damage before being subdued by the DeVries Elite. Namibian Game Commissioner Kutu Bowansi had this to say:

"We have had many problems with poachers coming into our national parks from across the Angolan border, but this is the first time they have had a nova with them. The Namibian government extends it's thanks to Einherjar for his prompt assistance in the arrest of these criminals."

The conflict started shortly before noon when Namibian game wardens, in cooperation with police, traced a shipment of tusks and hides to a refrigerated warehouse near the center of Ombulantu. Sources claim that the presence of a nova amongst the poachers was not suspected until a firefight broke out.

"It was terrible." An eyewitness told N! today. "The nova was firing beams of light from his hands and blowing up the police trucks right down the street from my shop! I was going to run when I saw a flying man swoop out of the sky and tackle the bad nova. I knew it was Einherjar right away because he has been seen patrolling the parks. They were hitting and kicking each other, like a XWF fight, and the bad nova tried to shoot Einherjar with his beams of light but was not able to. Then Einherjar kicked him very hard in the stomach, and the other nova flew across the square and didn't move anymore. Yes, I am glad Einherjar was here: these bad men come to Namibia and kill our animals and steal their bones. They make the parks dangerous so tourists will not come. I hope that other bad types learn that it is not a good move to poach in Namibia, even if they are a nova!"

This was the newly-minted Elite's first engagement, and it certainly bodes well for his future career. A DeVries spokesman had this to say:

"We have long had a worthwhile partnership with the government of Namibia, helping them to protect and preserve the natural beauty of their country. This is the first time it has led to a nova-level engagement, but DeVries training prepares those chosen to become Elites for any occurence, any challenge. Einherjar might be a 'rookie' as far as ratings go, but anyone selected as worthy to be a DeVries rookie is worth any 2 normal novas even before we train them. We have high hopes for him."

[Eingar]

N! Newsflash

Somali Pirates Issue Warning to Europeans

By N!'s Akombe Resandi

Nairobi

31 August 2008

Somali pirates, who have been relentlessly attacking ships this year off the coast of Somalia, say they will kill any European they capture if France fails to release six pirates seized by French commandos earlier this month. N! Correspondent Akombe Resandi has this exclusive report from our East Africa Bureau in Nairobi.

,,

In a telephone interview with N!, a man identified as the spokesman of the pirate group based in the northern Puntland town of Eyl says the group wants the European Union to pressure France to release the six pirates immediately.

The spokesman, who calls himself Barra and claims to be a nova, says if other European Union nations refuse to negotiate the release of his compatriots, his group will begin targeting all Europeans. He says every European hostage would be beheaded.

It is not clear whether the pirate group is in contact with European Union officials about the matter. The captured Somali pirates were transferred to Paris after French commandos mounted a raid last week to free a French couple kidnapped by pirates off the coast of Somalia on September 2.

The French military also seized another group of pirates during an operation in April. But Barra, the pirate spokesman in Eyl, made no mention of them, suggesting that the pirates taken to Paris in April may have belonged to another group.

Last week, EU foreign ministers decided to set up a special unit to coordinate warship patrols off the coast of Somalia to protect ships from piracy.

In support of that mission, Spain deployed military aircraft to the Horn on Saturday to collect information on the movements of pirates. EU foreign ministers have not decided whether to create a special naval mission to pursue the pirates and capture them.

This year, well-armed pirates, using powerful speedboats, have attacked more than 55 ships and private vessels sailing through the Gulf of Aden and along Somalia's east coast. Piracy is threatening to disrupt global commerce and driving up costs because of soaring insurance premiums.

The group in Eyl, Puntland is believed to be the largest of the various pirate groups operating in Somalia. Pirates in Eyl and the factional leaders and businessmen who control them are said to have earned about $30 million this year in ransom payments. The group is currently holding about a dozen ships and their crew hostage.

Barra insists the money ship owners are paying to free to their vessels and crew is not ransom, but fines and taxes being collected on behalf of the Somali people.

Barra says the ships are being fined and taxed because they are trespassing on Somali territorial waters. He says in the absence of a functioning central government in Somalia, his group is working hard to collect enough money to form a navy strong enough to protect the Somali coast from foreign exploitation.

,,

Eyewitness reports from Eyl suggest that pirates are using their share of the money to build palatial homes and to buy expensive cars. They are also believed to be purchasing increasingly sophisticated weapons and boats.

Somalia descended into factional chaos after the government of dictator Mohammed Siad Barre fell in 1991. The country is one of the poorest in the world, with more than 40 percent of its population in critical need of food aid.

[Eingar]

N! Newsflash

Somali Pirates Dealt a DeVries Deathblow!

By N!'s Akombe Resandi

Nairobi

3rd September 2008

Four days ago, this correspondent reported on the hostage situation in Somalia, with the crews of over a dozen cargo ships being held by Somali pirates under the leadership of a nova named Barra. Operating from the town of Eyl, these lawless men thumbed their noses at the world and threatened to behead every European hostage unless the pirates taken prisoner in a raid by French special forces were returned. Eyl was know to be a bustling modern-day Tortuga, a place where the pirate's life granted wealth and priviledge to all, especially their leaders.

That was three nights ago. This was Eyl two nights ago.

In a shocking and some say unwarranted move, nameless individuals supposedly acting on behalf of the European Union and various shipping companies contracted the DeVries Agency to recover the ninety hostages and deliver a chilling message to the pirates. The death toll at this time is unconfirmed, but aid workers state that at least two hundred bodies have been recovered so far. When contacted, DeVries had this to say:

"We were contracted to perform a job, and perform we did. It will be a long time, if ever, before Somali pirate activity threatens shipping in the region again. Naturally, we are not at liberty to disclose who our principles are in this matter, but we can reveal that the Elite hand-picked to spearhead this effort was none other than Einherjar, who personally defeated Barra, a dangerous rogue nova, in hand-to-hand combat."

As yet, we are unable to talk with Einherjar, one of DeVries newest signings, as he is purportedly enjoying some 'well deserved R&R' and was not to be disturbed. But DeVries have assured us on Einherjar's behalf that he will grant N! an interview soon. So watch this space, nova-fans!

[Guest Anonymous]

Randel Portman Shot

Arrests Made; Portman Rushed to Undisclosed Hospital

CLEVELAND (AP) - Democratic Presidential candidate Randel Portman was shot today at 11:11 AM, at a rally in Cleveland, Ohio.

The incident occured while Portman was giving a speech to supporters. Witnesses report a loud noise and Portman collapsing, flanked by Secret Service agents.

Portman has been rushed to a hospital and is listed in serious condition.

Secret Service say they have made arrests but have released no other details at this time.

More as this develops.

[Guest Anonymous]

Transcription of a prepared statement made by Sean Buchman, AKA "Mistabig" on October 10th, 2008

Good evening. My name's Sean Buchman. Most people in Atlanta know me as Mistabig, the local civic defender. What I have to say will be brief.

Yesterday morning, Democratic candidate Randel Portman was shot and rushed to a Cleveland hospital where he supposedly remains still. I say supposedly because we haven't been told which hospital he is in, if any. We know the gunman's name is Kenneth James O'Neal, but we do not know his motivations or connections. I'm here tonight to bring those connections to light.

I have evidence that Kenneth James O'Neal was hired by someone within Portman's own campaign - his media manager Alice Bernstein -

(crosstalk, many of the reporters calling out questions)

Buchman: Please, calm down.

(continued crosstalk - at this point Buchman uses his quantum ability to multiply his mass and size, reportedly reaching a height of twenty feet in seconds)

Buchman: Everyone be quiet! I haven't finished. Now where was I. Alice Bernstein hired Kenneth James O'Neal to shoot Portman as a publicity stunt, to forestall -

(more crosstalk, Buchman seems to visibly lose his temper)

Buchman: Sit down, dammit! Sit! A publicity stunt to head off a coming dip in the polls as revealed by internal testing -

Reporter: We saw the footage of Portman being shot, he's visibly wounded and has no powers to -

Buchman: All novas have advanced healing abilities and resistance to damage. The round was small arms fire. Sit down now or so help me... I'm sorry. Give me a moment. Right. Alice Bernstein, with or without Portman's consent, had Portman shot for a few points in the Gallup tracking polls. Your Democratic party is lying to you. This is all a political stunt.

Reporter: What's your evidence?

Buchman: I will disseminate it later tonight on my OpNet site, since I don't trust any authority structure with this information. For all we know they could be in the pockets of the shadowy forces behind Alice Bernstein. I trust that once this information is out people will do the right thing. Thank you.

[Guest Anonymous]

Mistabig Arrested After Rampage

Civic Defender sean Buchman Incarcerated by Team Tomorrow

4 Dead, 7 Wounded in Atlanta, Georgia

ATLANTA (AP) - The civic defender Sean Buchman was arrested yesterday afternoon after a rage-fueled rampage through the downtown Atlanta core.

The rampage occured at or around 2:30 PM.

Sean Buchman, AKAK 'Mistabig,' used his size-altering powers to grow to enormous size and cause havoc. Within minutes, Team Tomorrow Americas had arrived and managed to successfully contain the threat.

Buchman's lawyers have not issued a statement.

Four people lost their lives, and seven more were injured, one critically.

Among those injured was the Directive investigator Lisa Decker, who had been dispatched to investigate recent claims made by Buchman that Democratic presidential candidate Randel Portman arranged to have himself shot. Agent Decker took the time to speak to the Associated Press.

"Buchman's evidence is bogus," she said bluntly. "There's nothing there. When I confronted him on this he grew angry and then he hit me and I blacked out."

The Directive's public relations arm backed up Agent Decker's claims.

"We take all nova-related threats seriously," said Nigel York, Public Relations Director for North American Directive operations. "So we did our own investigation into the attempted assassination on Portman. There is no evidence that Kenneth James O'Neal was paid off by anyone connected to Portman's campaign. We will release more details shortly."

The leader of the team that arrested Sean Buchman was Ricardo Montoya-Bernal. He was unavailable for comment.

[Guest Anonymous]

Three Die In Manhattan Tragedy

Wall Street Broker Kills Family

New York (AP) - George Sorenson, a Wall Street stockbroker, was determined to have murdered his family, wife Lyn Sorenson and daughter Beth Sorenson, shortly before taking his own life.

The double murder and suicide took place around 18:00 hours on Monday 8 December.

Coroners report that there is evidence that Mr Sorenson, by all accounts a successful up-and-coming broker for Merrill Lynch as well as a devoted husband and father, sexually assaulted his wife and daughter before cutting their throats.

Merrill Lynch have not issued any statement as yet regarding the horrific incident, and relatives have been unavailable to comment.

Reports from neighbours of a young man staying with the Sorenson family prior to the tragedy have so far been unsubstantiated, police sources state, yet detectives are not fully ruling out foul play.

[Starjammer]

N!tertainment News

Keeping N! Eye On What You Watch!

"Red Devil" Gets Green Light

Sony Entertainment announced today that production would proceed on the film adaptation of nova investigator Eric Hutton's true crime novel The Red Devil Murders. The book documents Hutton's involvement in the hunt for serial killer Peter Thompkins AKA the Red Devil Killer in Boston in September 2002. The Red Devil Murders spent eighteen months on the New York Times' Best-Sellers List for Non-Fiction, twenty-eight weeks of which was at the number one position.

Sony Entertainment acquired the film rights to the book in 2003. However, numerous legal challenges halted production pending resolution, including trademark infringement suits from novox artist Mefistofaleez and Red Devil, Inc., the maker of Red Devil Paints. Also muddying the legal waters were several Friend of the Court briefs filed by Project Utopia.

However, Sony Entertainment now says that all pending legal matters have been adjudicated or settled and it is ready to go forward with the project. No word yet on who will helm the project, who may star or whether there is a working screenplay.

More details as they come.

[Bombshell]

Ottawa Sun

Sunday, April 5th, 2009

Number 2 Draft Pick A Knockout!

OTTAWA, ON – In a surprise public statement outside the Ottawa Rashoud Facility, a new Nova seen recently in the nation’s capital, who greatly resembles Calgary Public Defender Knockout, has revealed herself to be Jason Bellefleur, a local male hockey star.

Jason Étienne Bellefleur, 19, suffered an ankle injury in the last game of the season and missed the playoffs. With 60 goals and 41 assists in 60 games with the Ottawa 67’s, International Scouting Services ranked him second in the NHL draft, behind John Tavares. Now ineligible for the draft due to erupting, the second place spot is believed to go to Swedish defenceman Victor Hedman.

Reading from a prepared statement, Jason stated that her new appearance and gender was “due my and my girlfriend’s mutual appreciation for Knockout’s aesthetic appeal and a pre-eruption manifestation of quantum-based psychic capabilities. Basically I thought Knockout was hot, Kat (Katya Skovskaya) wished she looked like her, I tapped into that, and pretty much erupted the way she would have, or so say the docs anyway.” When asked if Katya was still her girlfriend, she responded that “Kat is still a girl, and still a friend.” Jason answered a few more questions, but ended the conference when asked how her parents were taking her changes, to which she stated “no comment’ and re-entered the Rashoud Facility. To see the answers to these questions, visit ottawasun.op/jasonq&a.

Dr. Geraldine Rosedale, a parapsychologist at the Ottawa Rashoud Facility, had this say concerning Jason’s transformation, “That young man, or more properly, young woman, is going to have a lot of adjusting to do. Eruption is believed to express the deepest most desires in the subject, but in this case, Jason is embodying the dreams of someone else, someone close to her. Though I believe Jason on some level must have accepted this, otherwise her subconscious should have resisted the imposed subconscious desires of her girlfriend. This can’t help but have severe repercussions on both of them, socially and mentally, aside from the life changing aspects of becoming a Nova. Equally fascinating however, is the fact the Jason is now virtually identical in physical appearance and has some similar quantum powers to another well known Nova, in this case, Danielle Waters (Knockout). That both Danielle and Jason were once young men who metamorphosed into excessively attractive women raises some questions, mostly about the media and society’s portrayal of women. Of more immediate concern is this, if eruption is based on desires, at some point there are going to be those who wish to be like, no BE, the Novas they see or hear about on the Opnet or in real life. Us doctors, scientists, and psychologists should have expected something like this, should have expected seeing this phenomenon years ago. Another Caestus Pax or Antaeus might be a good thing, but what about another Geryon or Divis Mal?”

The Ottawa 67’s, lacking their star forward, were recently eliminated from the playoffs by the Niagara IceDogs. Team captain Logan Couture, speaking for the team, had this to say about Jason Bellefleur, “We missed him in the playoffs, but we’ll miss him even more now. A woman like that on the ice would make the other team useless. Though admittedly, a woman like him in the locker room would make us useless too. Keep you head up, and keep going forward J-wing, we all love you babe.”

The new woman’s father, François only response to inquiries about his former son, “This woman is no son of mine. He will have to live with the consequences of his actions by himself, this family will have nothing to do with it.’ All further calls went unanswered.

Danielle “Knockout” Waters was unavailable for comment.

See pictures: pages 1-7, 9, 11-20, 44-56, and the Sunshine girl on page 54

[Bombshell]

Ottawa Sun Online

Jason Bellefleur Q & A

Q: Is Katya Skovskaya still your girlfriend?

A: She is still a girl and still my friend.

Q: Now that you are female, are you attracted to men?

A: Only if they look like me or Knockout.

Q: What is it like being a woman?

A: A lot like being a man, only with too many clothing options and bigger boobs.

Q: What do you see when you look in a mirror?

A: Judging by the way you’re shifting with your hand in your pocket, pretty what you see when looking at me.

Q: What powers do you have?

A: Super-human strength, reflexes, endurance, and toughness. Oh yeah, supposedly I’m hot too, and I have the mental ability to know when a man is staring at me. Oh oh, and I can turn any guy who gropes me into a girl too.

Q: Can you fly?

A: Only in a plane and on the ice.

Q: Why do you wear your hair long, is it a statement of accepting your circumstances or does your girlfriend like it?

A: Actually I find it annoying. I did cut it short, but it grew back fast, like grew-back-in-minutes fast. It’s linked to my ability to recover from wounds in seconds they say. The docs say I have something called a Static Quantum Template, which is fancy talk for saying by body doesn’t like changing and seeks to return to its original state, which is this now [gestures to self]. I can’t “dorm down’ either, which sucks. The looks I get I understand, but it still gets to me at times.

Q: How are you parents taking your change?

A: No comment

[Curtis Shane]

N! Entertainment Newsflash

New XWF Nova In The Booth

According to XWF spokesmen Darrell Fletcher, recently erupted 20 year-old nova Curtis Shane has agreed to a contract with the XWF to serve as a match analyst in the booths. "We expect Mr. Shane to offer exceptional commentary no baseline can, which we expect to further improve viewers' experience." The new commentator will premiere at the Havok in Havanna tournament.

[z-Sean "Loki" McCline]

From the Baltimore Sun

Home > News > Local Politics

Nova Acquitted of Charges in Slaying of Twelve

Teenager represented by DeVries Legal

By Anna Rochport | sun reporter

October 1, 2010

William Martin feels that a grave miscarriage of justice has occurred. On March 25, 2008, Martin had been in surgury at John Hopkins for a routinue hernia repair. During his procedure, the machines that were keeping him breathing shut down. This was not simple equipment failure; an EMP had torn through the floor of his hospital and two others. This blast of energy had come from an erupting nova named Sean McCline.

In the months that followed, McCline was in the news many times. First, he escaped from a Rashoud Facility, claiming that they were trying to kill him. He stayed with Dr. Danae for a time, only to sign on with DeVries at age fifteen. The mercenary company accepted responsibility for the young man, leveraging their considerable political weight and legal team behind him. No one was surprised when the courts in Praetoria sided with DeVries Elites.

What is surprising is that another court has come back in McCline's favor. Today the World Court acquitted Sean McCline of twelve counts of manslaughter. There have been other cases where a nova's eruption has caused deaths, though none have affected a neo-natal unit before.

The parents of the seven dead infants immediately announced they would continue to pursue their civil suit. DeVries Legal announced that they would continue to offer legal support to McCline. McCline himself has continued to decline comment.

[Firanis 'Fi' Flux]

From CBC News

Excerpt from the Prime Minster Harper's Emergency Address to the Nation

Victoria, BC Abandoned to The Crush

November 12th, 2010

"...tragedy that has ever struck our nation. There are no right answers in dealing with this unimaginable situation. And yet, it has been a true inspiration how the entire world has come together in our great nation's time of need, private citizens, both native and from abroad, organizations public and private, small and large. They - you - have saved countless lives, brought closure, and helped stabilize the devastation of Victoria.

You can do no more, nor can we ask for more. Only the remains of the dead now dwell in Victoria, and though they will never, ever be forgotten, of this, I assure each and every one of you, now it is the time to care for the living, the survivors of the Crush.

Therefore, it is to my eternal and terrible regret to inform you, the people of Canada, that the recovery of Victoria will be halted. Extensive studies have shown that the bedrock of Victoria has the been broken, the entire southern end of Victoria Island is now destabilized, prone to tremors and shifts that will render it unfit for renewal. The Crush has taken too many lives. I will not feed it more.

As such, the seat of British Columbia's provincial government will be move to Vancouver, and humanitarian aid and donations will be used to..."

BM: Well, that's it, Harper has sealed his and the Conservatives fates. Abandoning the entire city! It's unforgivable. People still have loved ones buried there! And he is proposing we just abandon them-

JG: That's just it! They're dead, Bob. Not a single survivor has been found in the last two weeks. And for all that effort, two Novas have sacrificed their lives-

BM: Two Novas?! Do you know how many human beings lost theirs-

JG: Two Novas - beings capable of resisting tank fire and could move tens of tons with their bare hands, not counting the three dozen baseline rescue workers who have lost their lives. In the last month alone. There's nothing left in Victoria, but looters picking through the debris and over-worked rescue workers who are risking their lives to dig up dead bodies - yes, yes! I know there are someone's loved ones, but they are dead all the same. No, Harper made the right call. It will cost enough just to expand Vancouver and settle the survivors.

BM: There is a higher cost than just dollars to this, Janet...

Follow Bob and Janet on this episode of Head2Head on CBC

[GDP_ST]

From N! News

Excerpt from the Weekly N!-Tastic Nova Roundup

Nova reborn in Crush starts school.

January 6th, 2011

"...And the Stone Badass could not be reached for comment.

Finally on a lighter note, one of the two novas who erupted during the terrible incident in Victoria last year has begun to attend school... For the first time!

The officially-named Alexander Andrews, hailed by some OpNet groups as the 'Phoenix of Victoria' but more commonly known by his nickname of 'Sunshine' is, according to sources, attending a private school in Vancouver. Educational and developmental psychologist Professor Charles Bandonne was kind enough to talk to one of our reporters on why academics as well as high school girls are interested in the golden boy donning a school uniform.

C.B: Of course it's a very interesting case. As everyone who has been following this young man's emergence knows, Mr Andrews came out of the Crush a tabula rasa, a blank slate devoid of all memories, skills and development. The aftermath of the Crush was, and I trust I'm not being overly dramatic here, his first look at the world. And now, after some months of controlled environment tutoring by Utopia, he is to enter classrooms with other young people of his age group. In many respects, this is being viewed in academic circles as a test case for how we will handle the education of theoretical nova children with no memory of being baseline and with possibly greater potential than unerupted people of their age. Is it possible for nova and baseline children to grow together? Will one detract from the development of the other, or will there emerge some synergy beneficial to both?

N!: But a private school? Some might say that reinforces the 'nova better than nodeless' mindset.

C.B: Perhaps. There is certainly an element of elitism there, but I think the decision a practical one on several fronts. For one, though the standard of education in our state-run schools is more than adequate, it is a truism that standards are generally better at privately funded schools. Smaller class sizes make it easier for the educators to devote time to individuals; the activities and opportunities for growth are greater in scope. Let us not forget, Alex Andrews has no family of his own. No friends from before the Crush. No real normalising, steadying influence to draw on from before the traumatic eruption that will stabilise him through the adjustment. A semi-controlled environment, with private facilities and grounds that can, no offense, be denied to the press is in my opinion a good environment for a rather unique student.

N!: Thank you, Professor! We'll be certain to bring all you nova-watchers out there more updates, so don't forget to set your OpNet browsers to N!, for all your node-related goodness!

Tonight on N!: Sex and the 21st Century - How the Nova Age has changed our morals.

[Evo]

N! Combat-Feed Blurb Report

Now here's a shocker on the warfront. Vortex, the #99 ranked DeVries Elite, known for his (even for Elites) hedonistic lifestyle and signature corrosive energy bolts has been captured while apparently on a mission reportedly for the Congolese Freedom Front.

Details are scarce currently, but we at N! have reason to believe that a Argus Agency nova on sight for security- whose name appears to be Donald Wallace- chased and KO'ed Vortex after the Elite assassinated a major regional Congolese official.

Stay tuned, we're going to get you the lowdown on how it happened!

[Eingar]

From N! News

Breaking International News

Congo President Lambert Asani Condemned By Humanitarian Organisations.

May 12th, 2011

A turbulent scene in France today at the Paris office of Médecins Sans Frontières, the lifesaving non-profit organisation known in the English-speaking world as Doctors Without Borders. Having just returned from the Democratic Republic of Congo, Doctor Aalis Fournier called a press conference and, together with representatives from Amnesty International and the International Red Cross, issued a statement condemning the Congolese President, Lambert Asani.

Doctor Fournier, pictured right, has spent most of her medical career working for Médecins Sans Frontières and similar lifesaving initiatives. She has won several humanitarian awards and is well regarded by colleagues around the world as 'a hard-working, dedicated doctor driven to improve the lives of people everywhere'. Plainly worn by travel and strain of her work, she nevertheless stood firm against President Asani.

"Right now, as we speak, thousands of defenceless people are coming under attack by President Lambert Asani's troops." said Doctor Fournier, 38, to representatives of the world's press corps. "It was an out of the way refugee camp, a town that had sprung up built by those dispossessed who had been driven to the corners of the jungle. And now, doubtless because of mineral wealth in the area, the Asani regime has decided these human beings are disposable."

A stir went around the gathering when Doctor Fournier mentioned the presence of the Elite, Einherjar, currently number 44 on the DeVries rankings.

"Einherjar has been working there with us for months, safeguarding not just the Médecins Sans Frontières personnel, but also the refugees, which was not in his contract with us, but something he performed gratis." said the doctor. "But when Asani - I will not call him a president - sent his troops in, DeVries executed their termination clause in the contract. We had to leave, or we would forfeit their protection. None of us wanted to go. But Einherjar stayed."

"It was a surprise to us all. As soon as the DeVries person told him that he was done, Einherjar, he announced that he was staying. He looked me in the eye-" here the Doctor, plainly overwrought, had to take a moment to compose herself. "He looked me in the eye and told me that he would keep those people safe. And I believed him. We all believe him. Our prayers are with him, and with the other mercenary guards who stayed behind with him, unasked."

"I call on the U.N. and on Project Utopia to find some way to intervene in this situation. Right now, Einherjar and those brave, brave men are standing between an army and a town of helpless civilians. It may already be too late - there has been no way to get word."

Whilst President Asani's government has not yet issued a formal statement regarding the doctor's accusations of genocide and human rights abuses, an unnamed source claims that the Congolese Army is only taking action against insurgent elements responsible for the recent rash of attacks in major population centers. Meanwhile, the DeVries agency has released the information that Einherjar is indeed acting on his own and without their sanction. "To the best of our knowledge, Einherjar is working with a paramilitary faction of the True Democratic Republic, an insurgent element in the Congo." said the press officer. "This act, done without the brokering of the DeVries agency, is a clear breach of contract and we will be taking legal action against Einherjar for it. On the accusations from Doctor Fournier regarding our complicity with genocide, all I can say is that we are deeply sorry for the strain she has been put under. The poor woman is clearly unbalanced by grief and shock. No, no. Our contract with Médecins Sans Frontières said nothing about any refugees. We supplied an Elite, in this case Einherjar, to accompany Doctor Fournier and her party, and agreed to provide emergency extraction. Plainly, the good doctor's humanitarian ideals had led her into questionable company."

Link: The Democratic Republic of the Congo: A Valley of Sorrows by Paul Harbruck. Hard-hitting documentary from 2005 about the war-torn African country and it's exploited mineral wealth.

[Eingar]

From N! News

Breaking International News

,,

Strange Storm Ravages Jungle.

May 12th, 2011

Reports have come in from the World Meteorological Organisation that at approximately mid-day yesterday, on May 11th, a tropical hurricane ravaged an area in the province of North Kivu, part of the Democratic Republic of the Congo. The storm is considered by experts to be 'extremely anomalous', as it was of typical hurricane construction and yet hurricanes form only over large bodies of water.

Another anomalous feature was the storm's size. Normally, hurricanes are hundreds of kilometres across, even small ones dwarfing the storm that appeared yesterday. As a result, nova activity is being quoted as the number one probable cause for the storm, pictured here as viewed from a satellite yesterday.

"The storm sprang up out of nowhere, in the wrong conditions, and was stationary over a small area barely 60 kilometres across." Professor Mark Reinberg of the WMO said this morning at a press conference. "When it dissipated, there were no tornadoes or other wild weather effects. This kind of behaviour is only seen in those rare instances of novas manipulating the weather."

When asked if the WMO would be investigating, the Professor shook his head and announced that the government of the Democratic Republic of the Congo had refused WMO requests to be allowed to investigate this occurence. This, many believe, is linked to reports yesterday that the Elite known as Einherjar is currently active against government forces in North Kivu.

Link: Einherjar: An Unauthorised Biography.

[Evo]

From N! News

BREAKING INTERNATIONAL NEWS

Doctors Without Borders Banned from Congo

May 12, 2011

A statement today by the office of the Deputy of Foreign Relations of the Democratic Republic of Congo has confirmed what many analysts were already expecting to occur- Doctors Without Borders is not longer welcome in this nation. Citing the apparent now independent Einherjar's links to both reported terrorists and the international aid organization as well as unverified evidence of police murdered by "so-called medical staff."

In part, the statement read: "The Democratic Republic of Congo is appalled by Doctors Without Borders' involvement with elements of the True Democratic Republic and other insurgent groups. No representatives of the organization will be allowed to remain or entire the country, and those that willfully ignore this decision will be treated as enemies of the Republic and dealt with as such."

Speaking in Paris, Doctor Fournier, the DWB member who stunned the Elite world by announcing Einherjar's decision to resign from DeVries and aid DWB personnel, added another minor shock-wave by announcing the support of Argus Agency nova Evo, as he is generally referred to, in protecting locals and DWB efforts.

"Evo is also, like Einherjar, a good man who is unwilling to stand by and let these atrocities continue." Doctor Fournier went on to decry the 'police murder' allegations as in fact, "Asani- demonstrating his true character- sent a Congolese death squad to murder our Kinshasa staff, which Evo prevented."

The Argus Agency will be releasing a statement shortly.

[Eingar]

From N! News

Breaking International News

,,

Einherjar: Mass-Murderer!

May 14th, 2011

Earlier today government officials representing the Democratic Republic of the Congo have spoken out condemning the former DeVries Elite, Einherjar, for acts of terrorism, mass-murder and ecological damage.

Einherjar (pictured right), officially disavowed by Anna DeVries in a press conference yesterday as a 'rogue operative under extreme sanction', has been proven to be the cause of the micro-hurricane that altered weather patterns and caused massive flooding in areas of North Kivu, Kinshasa officials claimed today.

More seriously, the Elite is being charged with the deaths of over two thousand soldiers of the Congolese 4th Army Corps, who were 'on routine counterinsurgency training maneuvers' in the North Kivu area following the recent distubances all across the country.

Whilst details are still unclear, it seems that the tropical storm was centered on the training camp, causing massive damage to the structures and leaving alive only 600 of the three-thousand strong force, many of them teenage recruits. Of the survivors, we are told not one is uninjured by the storm unleashed by Einherjar.

Said the spokesman: "This Einherjar believes he is a law unto himself, that he can kill and destroy at a whim. We will bring him to justice, with the aid of the DeVries Agency, who are donating the services of two of their Elites free of charge so that this rogue elephant may be put down."

Further rumors had arisen that Einherjar is en-route to the Ugandan border with a strong force of interhamwe, the ruthless bandits that terrorize the defenseless villages and farming communities of this troubled land.

Link: "Don't Go!" - Duke Rollo's Guide to the Congo.

[Eingar]

From N! News

Breaking International News

,,

Einherjar: Hero!

May 15th, 2011

A shock development in the Congo story as of last night afternoon, and further confirmed this morning by footage of Einherjar, the rogue Elite accused of war crimes and mass-murder, confronting Ugandan border defense forces not with an army of interhamwe, but with a column of twelve-thousand refugees, most of whom seem to be women and children, fleeing genocide at the hands of Congolese troops under orders from Lambert Asani.

*Gaal's camera pan over the refugees before centering on Einherjar, walking with a child on each shoulder.*

A far cry from the spin the world's press have been receiving from Kinshasa, now revealed to be lies, further shocks were in store when the presence of Team Tomorrow Central was made known at the border, led by none other than Caestus Pax. In this footage shot by nova cameraman Christopher Gaal, it can plainly be seen that Project Utopia and Einherjar either had some manner of arrangement, or came to one swiftly.

*shot of Einherjar and Pax shaking hands*

Einherjar placed the refugees under the protection of Caestus Pax, who announced later that day at Uganda's capital that Project Utopia would be assisting Uganda in providing humanitarian aid and rehousing the twelve-thousand displaced people.

"Uganda's president is a good-hearted man, willing to extend helping hands to the persecuted." Pax told the reporters. "As such, Project Utopia will stand with Uganda and render them every assistance."

When asked about Einherjar, Caestus Pax had this to say:

"Whilst Team Tomorrow cannot and does not condone the massive loss of life caused by Einherjar, we also cannot ignore the greater number of lives his actions have saved. Regretfully, the Ugandan government did not wish to allow such a volatile figure to enter their country. Yes? Yes I did ask him to surrender to us so that we could properly investigate the storm incident, but I was not prepared to arrest him by force. It would be poor payment for his actions."

Einherjar's whereabouts are currently unknown. The refugees, now being housed at a camp within the Ugandan borders until housing construction can start, were less reserved in their praise.

"He is an angel." said Zawena M'Bagi, 43, her friends nodding in serious agreement. "Angels are terrible, but they do God's work. My children are alive because of Einherjar. My husband is alive because of Einherjar. My friends are alive because of Einherjar. Am I sad that all those soldiers died? Yes and no. It is sad when anyone dies, but they would have harmed us all and they would not have been sad."

Link: Exclusive! Gaal and Najarian's coverage of the historic moment.

[Jael Carver]

From N! News

Excerpt from N!tertainment ToN!ght

Nova Arrested for Sexual Misconduct with a Minor

June 19, 2011

Michael G: When Jael Carver makes sex in the news, it’s usually a note of her latest notch in the headboard. Today, however, the blonde nova faces allegations of statutory rape. She is accused of sexual activities with a minor of less than a year old – Vancouver’s beloved symbol of triumph after the Crush, Alex Andrews. She was taken into custody right from the set of Valkyrie, on the day that Carver started filming for her part as a Valkyrie princess. Her mug shot is memorable and we’ve obtained an image of her being taken from the set.

Rachel W: This surprises no one following either of these novas. I'm only surprised that Utopia waited so long to do anything. The opnet is already buzzing with the news, and the main question being asked is: how old is Alex Andrews, really? That will no doubt be addressed as this progresses to trial.

MG: Is this going to trial? Alex’s N! Profile states that he has enhanced intelligence and is far smarter than any child. How old is he mentally and emotionally? That’s no doubt going to be asked by Ms. Carver’s attorney, the famous Adrianne O’Donnel, best known for defending various Canadian novas against lawsuits.

RW: Utopian spokesperson Mattertron, who is credited with making the arrest, has confirmed that Project Utopia will be pursuing this to the fullest extent of the law.

Clip of Mattertron speaking: “Project Utopia believes that justice should be pursued, no matter if the accused is nova or baseline. Sexually-based offenses are especially heinous, as they do irrepairable and life-long damage to the victim. The Project, in alliance with the Commonwealth of Canada, will be doing whatever is necessary to protect our joint ward, Alex Andrews.”

RW: Ouch, no mention of the woman responsible for Alex’s day-to-day care, Jason ‘Bombshell’ Bellefleur. Though I suppose Utopia doesn't want to remind people that they gave custody of the boy to formerly-male, currently-lesbian Bombshell. There's the kind of sexual role-model that you want raising a child. Is it any wonder that Alex fell victim to Jael Carver?

MG: Yes, I think the focus is on the kind of ‘care’ given to Alex by Carver. Is he the victim of a nova who has been described as ‘sexually predatory’ or willing, consenting adult? There’s been rampant speculation about the nature of their relationship, which all involved have insisted is only platonic. However, given these allegations, the big question is going to be ‘is it true’ and then if that’s true, ‘how long?’

RW: Well, the how long seems to be from the very beginning of their relationship.

MG: That’s quite a claim.

RW: Look at the way they’ve carried on in public – hugging, holding hands. Everyone has pegged them as a sexual couple for a while now. Given that it took several months for Alex to reach the mental maturity to attend high school, if they’ve been doing this since then, since they've been affectionate in public basically since the Crush, then she’s been sleeping with someone who is in middle school or even younger – if that’s true then she is a pedophile.

MG: And Alex is a very lucky young man.

RW: Oh, I think that’s inappropriate! When an older man sleeps with a teen girl, it’s perverse, but reverse the genders and suddenly the victim is just lucky. You ought to be ashamed!

MG: I ought to be so lucky, you mean! Alright, we’re being told we’re going to commercial break. When we return, more speculation on just what Alejandra will be wearing to the Grammies this year.

Tonight on N!: Novox and the Rise of Song: how novas saved the music industry.