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[OpNet] The Rumor Thread


Vixen

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This is the thread to go to when you wish to post 100% shocking, 100% untrue rumors about famous people and/or the organizations they belong to.

The rules are, that this is for fun only and that none of these rumors should be true (to the best of your knowledge.)

To start with:

- One time, Jager flipped off a guy in traffic so hard, his wife exploded.

- Totentanz refuses to take a contract to kill Long, because Totentaz has an irrational fear of stripes.

- I hear that Andre Corbin's aberration is that he now has two miniature soccer balls where the regular balls used to be. (I'm an American and I pay my taxes - it's called soccer, far as I'm concerned.)

- Endeavor once designed a pusher robot that was programmed to shove, and a shover robot that was programmed to push. The project was shut down amid a storm of controversy involving blind people, stairs, and a terrible secret of space.

- Charr is not one nova, but several - he is a character created by shapeshifting novas who want to flip out and kill people but would rather their activities not be charted up merely to random guys flipping out and killing people. He is the Alan Smithee of our generation.

- Caestus Pax takes time to personally approve the 'package' of every T2M action figure produced. Not just his own.

- The Girl Made of Titanium is not actually made of titanium.

Add your own below.

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- The Church of Michael Archangel is in fact a tax-dodging operation launched by several hyper-genius novas.

- Antaeus is actually a 6" tall little green man who controls the huge geo-carapace with levers, pulleys, and bits of string.

- Despite the animosity between the two novas, Pursuer and Caestus Pax's eufiber seems to be having an illicit affair. Paparazzi have seen the sets of clothes walking hand in hand along the beach.

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-Jager is not a nova, but is a member of an extinct alien race sent to earth as a boy.

-Girl Made of Titanium is actually made of a tougher, harder, lighter metal. But it has not been named since the proper name for it is copyrighted by Marvel Entertainment.

-Wakinyan once slayed a yak from 500 meters away. With mind bullets.

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-Despite her obvious genius, Fuusen still has not completed her life's goal of finding a technical usage for Silly Putty.

-Secretly Proycon has a school yard crush on Pax, he once asked him out but, Pax turned him down because he had to "wash his hair".

-Vixen is not a actually a fox-woman, she's actually a Volkwagon Beetle.

-Long is easily distracted by feathers tied to string, particularly after he's hit the catnip.

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-Singularity has a little patch of silvery hair 'down there'.

-Wakinyan is really a furry in a costume.

-Procyon is planning to reveal the truth about Coke and Pepsi being the same.

-Fuusen has a new theme song - 'Polyester Girl' by Regurgitator.

-Vixen is really a furry in a costume.

-Wakinyan wants to ask Vixen out.

-Hugin is only pretending to give up real-time strategy RPGs.

-Edward was a vegetarian.

-Slattern secretly wants to be a nun.

-Coke and Pepsi are really the same.

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- Caestus Pax is billed to be the next spokesman for Turtle Wax ™.

- P.U. scientists have discovered that Nova 'Flicker' Madison doesn't in fact 'flicker' at all. It's the rest of creation flickering while she stays constant. Miss Madigan is changing her nova name to 'Constance'.

- Typhoon was seen in a sailor outfit in Club One doing the Village People dance to 'Y.M.C.A'. Sources close to the nautical nova have hinted that he is running dangerously low on seamen.

- Samhra was seen chasing herself around Central Park. Apparently, the feline part of her wanted to eat the avian part.

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-Caestus Pax has decided to renounce worldly fame and labour in anonymity as a Buddhist monk.

-Divis Mal is going to enter the novox music industry with the single 'I'm So Lonely'.

-ZAM of Kashmir is going to do a centrefold for adult women's magazines.

-Splash wants to be the new Hindu goddess of water, but Indra disagrees.

-Narcosis is doing a new movie called 'Ten Reasons Why I Love Project Utopia'.

-Caestus Pax is the first example of a walking penis with a node.

-Sujatmi Rais is sick of being the good cop so she is becoming the bad cop.

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- Divis Mal did not intend to broadcast the Null Manifesto worldwide - he was just done with the night's trick-or-treating and decided to goof around as long as he had the costume. The little-known preamble to the broadcast was "This thing's not on, right?"

- Jennifer Landers was killed for her freckles. Nova freckles have a currency value outplacing plutonium on the black market. The freckles must be specially isolated, because two of them touching could cause them to reach critical mass and wipe out the solar system.

- Justin J. Laragione's desk is a surfboard up on cinderblocks.

- Alchemist blames Superman for the loss of his hair.

- Edison's (other) known super-power is breath that smells like battery acid and that can turn stainless steel soft and chewy. He is also a 'close talker.'

- Lemmy Chillmeister and Salamander are forbidden by law to come within 500 yards of each other. This is neither 'baseline' law nor 'nova' law, but the laws of thermodynamics - if they meet, the result will be the appearance of Turn-Down-The-Thermostat Man and I-Could-Sure-Use-A-Sweater Lass.

- Al Gore invented the OpNet.

- Hugin's secret shame is that he once took all of the stickers off his Rubik's Cube and put them all back on.

- Antaeus did not quit Project Utopia - Project Utopia let him go after they realized they did not own the rights to the Swamp Thing.

- The Crusader is the highest-placed deep cover agent in the Directive's organization, having successfully infiltrated Project Utopia and the Windy City Knights, as well as the Teragen under the alias "Death Skull Blood Guy."

- Randal Portman is called 'The Fireman' not because of his powers, but because of the way that his scorching case of V.D. has mutated and adapted to his metabolism.

- Amped was recently kicked out of a karaoke club because he wouldn't stop singing 'Am I Blue?'

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-Fuusen has recently resolved to renounce all technology and become a luddite.

-Lemmy Chillmeister is going to take an oath of chastity and become a priest.

-Typhoon never enters the water without his favorite rubber ducky, named "Dave".

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Long is really an erupted Tiger, the first and only of his kind He just wants everyone to think he was once a man.

Carver keeps her entire body shaved except her head because the hair matches everywhere

Caestus Pax really liked being Held in Mal's arms, Mal put him down, that's why he's so angry.

Conduit is really made of titanium. The color comes from an unfortunate dip in sewage.

Fuusen would trade her gadgets for a lunar powered Tiara and scepter.

Edison is the smartest man on the planet, he drinks so much in a effort to kill enough brain cells to keep his ever growing brain from exploding from his skull.

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Quote:
Originally posted by Samhra:


-Hugin is only pretending to give up real-time strategy RPGs.

How nice. So little trust. Not just you but whomever murdered three individuals who were my favorite "pawns" in the past. Don't worry Samahra, you shouldn't feel any guilt for stirring up old embers.
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Quote:
Originally posted by Hugin:
Quote:
Originally posted by Samhra:


-Hugin is only pretending to give up real-time strategy RPGs.

How nice. So little trust. Not just you but whomever murdered three individuals who were my favorite "pawns" in the past. Don't worry Samahra, you shouldn't feel any guilt for stirring up old embers.
I was teasing, Hugin. Your past makes you an easy target. I've trusted you in the past with certain things and you've never betrayed me there.

Learn to suck it up when comes to your past, 'Thought', because 'Memory' will be the way most people will remember you until you prove yourself different.
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I was rereading these today, and noticed something:

,,
Quote:
Originally posted by Cade:

Carver keeps her entire body shaved except her head because the hair matches everywhere.

Ummm... how would you know, Cade? It has to be false, which means you've seen hair on other parts of my body... Which I know you haven't... so... you takin' pictures of me in the shower? :P
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Actually, it is of actual, technical merit that I have it. I use it to check for open Wi-Fi connections. It also allows me to "stretch" my reach a bit to the wireless. Pretty nifty when I have to transmit myself in a pinch.

Oh, and it has a LED head-lamp. It's pretty bright when it needs to be. It also has a drop-down HUD monocle for basic interface needs. Not that I use it often since I run most machines with my mind now.

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Quote:
Originally posted by Endeavor:
Actually, it is of actual, technical merit that I have it. I use it to check for open Wi-Fi connections. It also allows me to "stretch" my reach a bit to the wireless. Pretty nifty when I have to transmit myself in a pinch.

Oh, and it has a LED head-lamp. It's pretty bright when it needs to be. It also has a drop-down HUD monocle for basic interface needs. Not that I use it often since I run most machines with my mind now.
Do you even hear what you're saying? You have a crown that hooks you to the OpNet. This crown glows in the dark, and has a magic monocle. However, you don't need your crown because you can speak mentally to your toaster.

I'm just saying...
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Origami - And you say I'm to become a luddite. Unless it's an electric of course.

Tommy - Yes, it is more asthetically pleasing. Once I think of putting the design on the open market, your wife may like it as well. I prefer my design paradigms over shelf-bought designs. Mine seem... to have more soul, if you can ascribe that to my creations.

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Hmmmmm...I don't think a tiara by any means would be aesthetically pleasing for everyday use. It would be simple enough using synthetic eufiber and other polymers to build an affordable HUD with voice controls into something the size of a pair of sunglasses or even a contact lense. I've already constructed a computer the size of a credit card for the members of the Knights.

It is just my opinion but the combination of these two would be much more aesthetic than a tiara.

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Quote:
Originally posted by Endeavor:
Tommy - Yes, it is more asthetically pleasing. Once I think of putting the design on the open market, your wife may like it as well. I prefer my design paradigms over shelf-bought designs. Mine seem... to have more soul, if you can ascribe that to my creations.
Oh, for fuck's sake! Fuusen, a tiara is not aesthetically pleasing to anyone over six years old. Beauty pagnent winners wear them as a mark of honor; it's probably some stupid-ass tradition. Anime-wannabes wear them... but that's getting too close to the mark, isn't it?

And from what I've seen of Tommy Micro, his wife would vastly prefer a nice pair of sunglasses or contacts intead of a freakin' crown.

Just because you find something aesthetically pleasing doesn't mean that everyone has the same terrible taste. And trying to write off your stuff as having "soul" is bullshit, too. It's fine for some people, but accept that most don't care for your tastes, and stop trying to seem to damned high and fuckin' mighty about your opinions.
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Actual one's I heard at a party last night:

Anteus is actually the World-Spirit and he created novas to clean up the world.

Buendia can actually feel all the Eufiber he's created himself so he's basically a big pervert, feeling up the world.

And my favorite was told to me by a very serious road agent for the XWF: Everytime you hear a bell ring an angel gets his wings.

He might have been fucking with me though. laugh

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