Jump to content

Things not to do in a role-playing game

BlueNinja

By BlueNinja,
in Movies, TV, Books & Music

Recommended Posts

BlueNinja Elite

BlueNinja

Posted
Posted

Taken from the livejournal of theglen ... and this is only numbers 1-500 of 1875! I'm adding a few of my favorites below.

7. Not allowed to use psychic powers to do the dishes. Telekinesis I can see, but if he was talking about using Biokinesis, then I'm with the GM.

17. Collateral Damage Man is not an appropriate name for a super hero. I actually wrote up a nova with this name once ... never played him though.

28. The Goddess' of Marriage chosen weapon is not the whip. It's not, the Goddess of Marriage dual-wields a rolling pin and a frying pan. laugh

51. No longer allowed to use the time machine for booty calls. I don't see why not, I mean, it worked for Bill and Ted ...

77. I did not get my super powers from James T. Kirk. This brings the disturbing thought of what super powers you do get from James T. Kirk.

107. There is no such game as Wereshark the Buffet. But if there was, I can see Dave playing it.

138. If the mere thought of it costs the others sanity, I'm forbidden from doing it. I think he's played with Dawn before. wink

181. I cannot quote Shakespeare in Crinos. I'll defer this question to the Werewolf experts on the forum.

203. My superhero's strength is not classified as snazzy, neato or bodacious. Wasn't Knockout described using the last word?

240. Any character with more than three skills specializing in chainsaw is vetoed. The three that come to mind are Melee, Engineering, and Medicine. Maybe Biz, if you're playing a mob hit man.

280. Thermonuclear hand grenades do not exist in any genre except Paranoia. I beg to differ - they're in Fallout. Also possibly in Rifts.

310. I cannot spend all my points on just followers. So, what would seven dots of Followers entail, anyway? I mean, in Adventure!, six dots is already an army ...

388. Pursue means chase after, not just make called shots to the knees. I think it's a lot easier to pursue someone who can't run away from you anymore. laugh

438. The ability to afflict everyone in 150' with herpes is not an acceptable super power. Didn't this character used to be in 200X?

476. The alignment of 2 years olds is not automatically Neutral Evil. Spoken by someone who obviously has no children.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Dawn OOC Legendary

Dawn OOC

Posted
Posted
Originally Posted By: BlueNinja
138. If the mere thought of it costs the others sanity, I'm forbidden from doing it. I think he's played with Dawn before. wink

Hey, my only player who went crazy didn't do it during any of my games. I don't think that statement is at all accurate. :P
Link to comment
Share on other sites
Justin OOC Elite

Justin OOC

Posted
Posted

1502. My first wish can't be to invalidate the previous character's last wish. (Screw you guys, I just want world peace)

1535. The spell is called Prismatic Spray, not Taste the Rainbow.

1563. Dwarves have to take the platemail off before sex.

1637. 'Dibs' is not a term of bereavement. (Dearly beloved we are gathered here today to "Dibs!" "Hey no fair, you left before he died!")

1683. Killing the orc horde by drowning them all at once is heroic. Killing them by drowning them one at a time is an alignment check.

1694. Debauchery is not a stat. ( know a number of PC's here that might debate this)

1755. Calling my shot means 'Where I want to hit him' not 'Where I want him to land.' (Sweet memories "Dasher, last hex in the right corner)

1838. Can't lure ninjas out of hiding with a game of Marco Polo. (We tried something similar)

1856. I will refer to the radar contact as a Blitzer-72 MBT, and not as a TPK in a can.

1869. You can't count coup with power weapons. (I love my GM, he never knew this...)

1875. Before I make the seduction check, I will reread the description of the swinging knack.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
BlueNinja Elite

BlueNinja

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Just because everyone needs more laughs, the next part is here!

506. Mjy Vjikjing Skjald wjill njot tjake ljibjertjies wjith thje rjunjic ajlphjabjet. To whoever's playing Thor, I bet Dave will take this seriously.

517. I cannot make called shots to their self esteem. Probably because he didn't take the Smartass character class.

527. Even if the rules allow it, I cannot spend $64,000 to get the vorpal option for a forklift. I bet it'd be fun to wield one of those with Mega-Strength, though.

541. When prompted for a target by the guided missile "the naughty bits" is not a valid choice. Why not? It'd be my first choice. Especially with how accurate smart missles are these days.

558. There is not a 'Take your daughter to work day' for adventurers. Is it bad that this gives me an idea for a one-shot?

585. No using psychic powers before the adventure to figure out who to take life insurance out on. Too bad, it'd be great justification for any IRSAn who wants to boost their Resources.

595. I cannot pick a race with a prehensile ANYTHING. Waki? laugh

616. Even if they are the same cliched acid for blood aliens, can't load my shotgun with baking powder. Quick - to Mythbusters!

624. When asked what my character is doing, it had better not be the vitakinetic. *cues Barry White songs*

645. My matter how high my faith skill, still can't take God as an ally. This begs the question, which God?

661. The line on my character sheet for 'Sex' is not for keeping score. Waki!

686. My vampire hunter does not take the "un" out of "undead" But ... that's so accurate!

742. Apparently Chaotic Angry and Neutral Hungry aren't real alignments either. I dunno, those sound like pretty good alignments.

765. Can't parry with a called shot to the face. Says who? laugh

778. It is not possible to bioengineer a kosher pig. But how else is the rabbi supposed to have a BLT?

808. Covering fire does not include nuclear weapons. Not even in the post apocalypse? What a bummer.

818. Augment their psi means their mental powers, not their air pressure. Some of them would benefit more from the air pressure though.

835. I cannot lure out the Psycho Killer into an ambush by having sex with another character. Given the plot of the average horror movie, this actually strikes me as a brilliant plan.

865. I do not put the cad in decadent, nor the rave in depraved. This sounds like a workable company motto.

908. I can't take Telekinesis as an auxilary mode just to get free food from the snack machine. Sounds like a good expense of points to me.

933. If escorting a high priority target, I can't biosculpt the entire team to look like her. Again, this sounds like an awesome plan. Don't professionals do this with look-alikes anyway?

958. No matter how practical, I can't have shotgunchucks. I don't see why not - I mean, you need to have a backup weapon for when the lightsaberchucks fail you.

967. There is no such thing as a Tequila Golem. Because that would be a Tequila Elemental.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Jess OOC Enthusiast

Jess OOC

Posted
Posted
Originally Posted By: BlueNinja

7. Not allowed to use psychic powers to do the dishes.


Someone should get around to telling Ptesan-Wi....

Originally Posted By: BlueNinja

595. I cannot pick a race with a prehensile ANYTHING. Waki?


See above. And... *shudder*
Link to comment
Share on other sites
jameson (ST) Elite

jameson (ST)

Posted
Posted
Originally Posted By: Mr Fox

Quote:
933. If escorting a high priority target, I can't biosculpt the entire team to look like her.


Seriously? That sounds like a great plan!


Some of these are legit "things not to do" but others totally seem like "things that are really clever and you ought to do but your GM isn't creative enough to work around his players' actions and so tells you not to do that"
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...