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[OpNet] What's the Dumbest Thing You Ever Did?


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I have a list as long as my arm of all the dumb stuff I ever did. Among my greatest hits:

- the first time I drank alcohol I sucked all the booze out of the bottom third of the drink.

- at the age of six I recame convinced that Robin Hood was a fox, thanks to a re-release of a certain Disney cartoon.

- flew straight up to find out how high I could go. Turns out that I can't breathe in space.

- dematerialized out of an aircraft that was landing. Forgot to attune my attire. Spent over an hour trying to convince airport security that my underwear was not a weapon of mass destruction and could I have it back, please.

- got my head stuck in a doll house because I wanted to find out what it was like to be a giant.

- became convinced that the XWF was 'for real.'

- became convinced that the WWF was 'for real.'

- had a crush on the young Sean Connery.

- became convinced that Sean Connery would erupt into a nova and get his youth back, any day now.

- became convinced that when that day happened, he would only have eyes for me.

- cooked dinner for family, my treat. Cooks it undormed. They are still spitting out fur.

So to ask you all: it's humility time. Own up to the dumbest stuff you ever did.

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- Sniffed a popcorn kernel to see if it had a scent when I was four. It went up my nostril and my parents had to hold me down to get it out with tweezers.

- went shopping at an adult toy store when I was nineteen with my older friends and did not have a fake ID on me. I do not think I had ever been as red as I was that night when the manager carded me and then scolded me for being there before escorting me out.

- while driving my mother's station wagon, was goaded into racing it against another station wagon when the driver of said other station wagon pulled up to me at a stop light. I had never raced before, and I was lucky I did not kill myself. I lost, of course.

- had unprotected sex with my first boyfriend. Typical, but no less stupid for being typical.

- at my first college party, I had three "Flaming Dr. Peppers." This was also my first time drinking at a party. I was told the next morning that I flashed many people on the sidewalk from the balcony of the apartment complex saying "Hey, look at these!!!!" I did not honestly have much for them to look at, so I was grateful for the longest time at not remembering that night.

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Originally posted by Vixen:
- became convinced that Sean Connery would erupt into a nova and get his youth back, any day now.
We can dream about this together. . .

I did my dumbest thing ever just two months and ten days ago. I'd just found out that I was a latent nova. I was walking out of the center, still staring at the M-R test result form, with all kinds of wild ideas for forced eruptions spinning through my head. Fire? Ice? Flight? (Space Exploration?) Mind reading? Invulnerability? Genius? Shapeshifting? Acrobatics? Invisibility?

I'd never been more lost in thought. I guess that's how I inadvertently stepped in front of a speeding truck, and then teleported from the spot when I heard the shriek of six truck tires and the blast of its horn, and whirled around to see the grille of truck so close that I could count the flecks of rust in the Ford logo.

I hadn't known I was a nova for 45 minutes and I'd already accidentally erupted. Erupted and aberrated. Sheesh. I'm still kicking myself. I had the opportunity to do anything with my future, and in a single inattentive moment, I burned my one match.

Of course, I never spent a week jumping up and down in my back yard, so I guess I could have it worse. smile
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Hey, you have your Latency tested too? Yeah I erupted in a dumb way too. My dad sent me on this photo-safari in Africa.

So my Dumbest moment came when I pissed off a momma Hippo trying to get really cool pictures of her babies. Have you ever seen a rampaging Hippo? Here I'm thinking they are all gentle and cutesy and stuff. But noooooooo.

That thing bit our little boat in half and and tried to take a big chomp out of me! Good thing my node popped about then. It's not exactly the way I envisioned myself erupting but hell, I ain't gonna complain, espesially considering I could've been baby Hippo kibble otherwise!

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Dumbest things, dumbest things...

Getting married to my ex-husband. No, really, this guy took out my knee with a sledge-hammer. I erupted... And that, ladies and gentlemen, is the source of the Dolorous Cry. He's now the dumbest thing I know.

As a child, I was convinced that the world was black and white before colour film was invented. I believe that I took the Aspergers' tendency towards being absolutely literal a little too far.

Believing that Jonah really did live in the whale's stomach. Of course, if he had been a nova...

An incident involving Julie 'Warlady' Logan before eruption; on meeting her, I asked her rather loudly, "Is it true you're a dyke?" I'm surprised she ever spoke to me again.

Asking Franklin to break my crap knee. Yeah, I was able to heal it somewhat more than it had been, but gods it hurt!

Did I mention marrying my ex-husband? Oh yes, I did.

Remaining with Project Utopia for so long.

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The stupidest things I ever did had to do with an idea that came up both pre-nova and post-nova. Both came to a head right after busting out of Bahrain but before the Ibiza party. I had lots of time to think in Bahrain between those vivisection experiments. One of the things I thought was, "If only these screaming monkeys could understand just the littlest thing about being a nova maybe they wouldn't be such fuckos." On the way out the door of Bahrain as I was playing with my therapist, I had a new thought. "The Taint is part of being a nova."

Can anybody guess where this is going?

One town later, I feel silly for ever thinking they'd be able to wrap their teeny little minds around any of the nova experience. It was kind of fun though.

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Think I could handle speed when my mom couldn't because hey, I was tougher than that slut.

Oh, I talked smack to a biker who didn't like Maiden. Y'know, me and my buds didn't tend to throw furniture during bitch sessions about who was and was not cool in metal.

Post eruption?

Taking shit about Elites in front of THREE of the motherfuckers in the Amp Room.

Thinking I could show Slattern a thing or two in the bedroom and that she'd be impressed with the ten-pounds of dangling fury.

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  • 1 year later...


1) Take up smoking.

2) Not realize that a massive, several day headache was a "pre-eruption" signal that I was going to erupt.

3) Read a stupid comic book at the end of a massive, several day headache.


1) Become an elite.

2) Use a not-quite-yet mastered power in a combat situation.

3) Go out drinking with Vile Bill.

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Hmmm. Dumbest things I have ever done.

-Let the WCK discover my plans

-Let the WCK catch me

-Invade the turf of a nova with Temporal Manipulation

-Let a bunch of dead baseline children give me flashbacks

-Let those bastards at the Rashoud facility inject me with something that made me sterile...(I will have to fix that little problem)

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When I was fifteen, my old man caught me smoking on the back porch. When he told me to hand them over, I refused, told him to get fucked, 'cause hey, I'd bought the things with my own damn money, and if he wanted 'em, he'd have to take 'em. That was the day I found out my old man was a Marine once upon a time.

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Umm, well... I went to a video store and they had adult movies there. I'd never seen one before so I figured 'What the heck' ya know?

Well, I was to embarassed to walk in myself, heck I was crimson (Not Mr. Crimson... the actual color crimson) just thinking about going back there behind the little beaded doorway. So... enter Clone! They do all my dirty work, it's not like I'm really doing it (kinda, it's a mental thing). Like psychological delegation.

At any rate, big dummy me forgot one slight detail. It's a clone... of me. So, like... 20 minutes pass and the clone is still back there and I'm getting worried, I mean, how hard can it be to pick out porn?

Come to find out she was back there chatting with this guy, Doug, from the IT department of the magazine I work for. Apparently he quite the avid porn watcher and was helping desperately lost and naive 'me' find something 'I'd' like.

UGH! I'd never been so embarassed, you know, when I actually found out.

So... now all the guys at my job think I'm a porn junkie thanks to my loud mouthed clone and Doug the IT guy.

Never did get the movie either. I kinda just lost all the way around that night.

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Originally Posted By: Mr. Crimson
- Actually believe the Teragen were worthwhile.
- Hold hopes that elites could be reasoned with.

Yeah, I was young and stupid, I know. Especially where the first one is concerned. Trust me, it didn't last long.

People who want to reason with folks shouldn't make such tempting targets. You want to reason? Stop pissing off people with money for a start.
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