phoenix Posted December 15, 2002 Share Posted December 15, 2002 How does he fly into every single house in the world in one night?How can a reindeer's nose light up?More importantly, what's he really got in that giant bag?::xmas Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pax's_Pimp Posted December 15, 2002 Share Posted December 15, 2002 How does he fly into every single house in the world in one night?How can a reindeer's nose light up?More importantly, what's he really got in that giant bag?::xmasHow you ask? Why with magic... and a little bit of Quantum.Reindeer's noses? Two words: "Radio-active Rudolf"And what is in the bag? A whole lotta pot. Look at it this way Santa is a jolly, full bearded, white-haired, guy who dresses in bright clothes. What else could he be besides a hippy? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Arbitrary Posted December 15, 2002 Share Posted December 15, 2002 Hmm, I think he's an abberant.With powers like:Matter creationHyper movementFlight (dumbo syndrome for flight only, Must have sleigh and reindeer)InvisibilityQuantum Inferno (he just never uses it)He has a taint of 7: (jolly plumpness, costume fetish, Megalomania (think of all the songs devoted to him), etc.)Rudolph is kind of like the super animals in Adventure, (with bioluminescence)yep, that's my theoryDr. A Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CHILL Posted December 15, 2002 Share Posted December 15, 2002 Chill in disguise...and I would have gotten away with it if it wasn't for you meddling kids.. ::sigh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aeon Posted January 28, 2003 Share Posted January 28, 2003 Dearie me kids, let me fill you in one the details!Does Santa Exist? The Scientific ApproachNote: I have no idea where this joke came from. As far as I can tell the facts are fairly accurate but I personally don't stand behind any of them.Is There a Santa Clause? 1. No known species of reindeer that can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not completely rule out flying reindeer (which only Santa has ever seen.) 2. There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total-378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each. 3. Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept),we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding and etc. This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second-a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour. 4. The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload-not even counting the weight of the sleigh-to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison-this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth. 5. 353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance-this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecrafts re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening sonic booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force. In conclusion: If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now. Thank you. I'll happily accept my Nobel... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BillionSix Posted January 28, 2003 Share Posted January 28, 2003 I had to put the answer "Jolly Old Elf" if for no other reason than I figured no one else would.Brian Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phoenix Posted January 31, 2003 Author Share Posted January 31, 2003 Aeon--It's magic.Billionsix--Sounds like a safe bet.::xmas Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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