Aberrant: Dead Rising - Mea Culpa [Finished]

[Courier]

(This takes place in the morning on May 9th, the day after the raid in 10e and James' post-raid Faux-pas. Anyone who feels they might be in the area is welcome.)

James checked himself again to see if he'd forgotten anything. Freshly shaven, no weapons, 'calm' colored clothing, nothing that looks like a uniform, and I'm even hiding my physic as much as I can. This is as close as I get to being non-threatening. Fine, let's do this.

James knocked on the door of Violet's. Someone opened the door a crack and then immediately shut the door. James heard someone yell inside, "Hey, that asshole is back!" The door opened a crack again and a voice said, "Whatchu Want?"

James said, "I've got an announcement to make. An apology mostly. Please let me in and I'll eat my crow like a man."

[Courier]

The door stayed closed a long time. James heard several sets of footsteps and several muffled conversations. James thought, Deciding whether to open the door? Summoning reinforcements? Deciding if I'm the big bad wolf? Little pig, little pig, let me in... not by the hair of my chinny chinny chin. No way am I blowing the door down. Do I have a fall back plan for them not opening the door? I guess I'll just write up my apology and nail it to the door.

The door opened again and a voice asked, "Are you going to be nice this time?"

James replied, "Yes I am. I'll say my piece, answer any questions, then I'll leave."

The voice said, "Fine."

The door was fully unlocked and opened, James nervously walked inside and looked around. Great, full theater. More people than I insulted yesterday... and they still smell like they're afraid of me. Birds and dogs.

James clapped his hands together and said, "First of all, let me say I'm deeply sorry about what I said yesterday, and that none of it was directed towards you." Someone snorted in obvious disbelief. James could tell that was a common belief.

James added, "For future reference, any conversation between Dan, myself, and Violet needs to be interpreted with the knowledge that Violet was my woman until she left me for Dan. Not just Violet either, she walked out with Jill too." The room got less disbelieving.

James continued dryly, "Dan and I manage to be civil to each other when we work together professionally. But put Violet in the same room and No! sounds like a really good answer for basically anything Dan wants to suggest. Him suggesting to me that other people, presumably meaning Dan himself, would feel better if I moved out? That's an easy one. Wave a red flag in front of a bull easy. It wasn't a shock that Dan wanted me out. That was very clear before the raid and I had a canned response ready."

"Simon jumping in and continuing for Dan was just continuing for Dan. That should put my comments about family in a different light too. Family was what was bothering me, and yes, I know, I wasn't being rational and it wasn't any of your fault."

James sighed and said with regret, "When Fox said the same thing a few minutes later I realized how stupid it all was. If I hadn't been... well... let me say it again. None of that conversation was directed at any of you, and I'm very sorry. Stay as long as you wish."

[Dawn OOC]

There was a general murmur and a bit of awkwardness; then one woman stepped forward and said, "Thanks for that. Not sure I buy it completely, but thanks for the apology. And don't worry about us staying. We've talked, and we're getting out of this building as soon as we can. We don't want to stay in a strip club."

"I'd rather sleep in a snake pit," another said, her scowl marring rather plain latina features.

The first woman was slight and dark-skinned with wiry hair. She was attractive, but no where near Violet or Jules. She also seemed too smart and educated to be a former prisoner. She spoke up again. "Thank you for your hospitality. We do appreciate the But we'll be out of here soon."

[Courier]

James gave a half smile and replied, "As for buying it, ask around, the whole base knows. As for leaving, there's no rush. This is the best housing on the base, but it's also this massive symbol of V and me together. It's probably better if I'm not here anyway."

James added, "If it helps, although it was built as a strip club, it was never used that way. I doubt it will be. If you have ideas on what to do with this white elephant, you might want to run them past Violet."

[Dawn OOC]

"Actually, I believe that two women left you," she said, but her lips were quirking up in a smile. Her mouth was wide and generous, looking like it was meant to be smiling. "What I don't believe is that is all that this was about. See, Simon pointed out the real issue, and I believe you said... 'Let yourself suffer over other people's pain and you'll go nuts.' Well guess what? I was the one suffering, and you were the unfeeling asshole. The fact that you don't care makes you the most detestable man I've met here yet, and I'm including that blond freak Simon. This wasn't about Dan or your ex. This was about you having no heart, and for that, we'll-" She waved her hand around the room to encompass all the women there. "-never forgive. Or forget."

Her large, dark eyes met his boldly, confident in the fact that he couldn't do worse to her than she'd already suffered. With a touch of sardonic bitterness, she added, "But thanks for the apology. It was totally CYA, but very nicely worded. Well done."

[Courier]

James replied inadequately, "I hope you'll feel better eventually. I'm sorry I... That wasn't..."

Sorry you added to their pain? That wasn't what you wanted but you weren't thinking? Been there, said that. How about you quit while you're behind? They're still suffering and you make a good target to lash out at. Exit, stage left.

James concluded, "Good day lady. Ladies." and walked out.

[Dawn OOC]

"Hey, Big Guy," she called to him. When he turned, she had an uneasy smirk on her face. "We still aren't gonna to forget about before, but that was a lot better. Later."

That seemed about as dismissive as it could be. But it felt a little better than it had a second ago, as if he had made some headway, at least with this woman. He felt a bit better about leaving now.

Outside, he hadn't gotten far before someone caught up to him. Turning, he recognized Helen, the woman with the burned face. "Hey, I just wanted to say that I thought your apology was nice," she told him, smiling a little. Her body language still said back off, but she was standing closer to him than most of the women had been willing to. "If an ex is involved... I remember how crazy that can make things."

[Courier]

James shrugged shamefacedly and said, "Thanks, but bottom line is I still screwed up. I like locking horns with Dan a little too much."

Changing the subject, James asked, "Walk with me? I'll give you the grand tour of the base, that includes the hole in the ground that is my next house. Or perhaps food? Cafeteria is over there."

Jo wasn't in there. If we're doing walkabout then it won't be hard to run into her and introduce them. I'd offer to take her over to Myf's and get more scars removed but I'm sure Myf and Gabby are slam packed preventing people from dying. No way am I suggesting we deal with Helen's face unless I think we actually can.

[Dawn OOC]

Helen paused. "Let me get Jan," she said softly, her voice a little thready. She pulled the long-sleeved shirt she was wearing over her t-shirt tighter and hurried back to the club. Five minutes later, she was back out with Janella, the two women murmuring to one another as they came. They stopped talking before he could catch more than, "... he does, then we'll talk about it."

Straightening, they approached him. Helen was smiling, Jan was not. "Lead on," Helen said, waving him into motion.

[Courier]

James let the girls set the pace and started out going counter clockwise. First up were the dorms... Base Map

James said, "I'm not sure what the current census is, before the raid we were about 300, breaking down into 40 or so children, 60 women, and 130 men. And yes, I know that doesn't add up, it's easier to track how many than the specifics."

...followed by tent city...

James let them observe and be observed. Tent city was mostly male and poor. He commented, "My place is down here. The big tent there is the church. It's run by Gerald Hoffany & his wife. They claim they're non-denominational but that translates to sort of a merged fundie Christianity. Gerald isn't one of my fans but I'm one of his. He was a farmer before the plague and managed to get through it with most of his family. I've got a lot of respect for Gerald."

...followed by Bond's shed & Hop's bar...

James said, "That's Bond's shed, or his on base cache. My tent is so spare because I have multiple caches off base in trailers or houses or whatever. That's one of reasons I want to build a house. If anything happens to me I want to leave my stuff to my family."

...followed by the Missile Silo entrance...

James said, "And that's the entrance to Fox's place. He and Jules WhiteElk have the place to themselves. Fox you know, Jules was the gal who ripped up Hornsbeck. She's his 'executive assistant' or something, basically she runs all things civilian. Rumor has it, correctly I think, they're sleeping together. I think their relationship predates the plague."

Helen asked, "Fox is military isn't he? What do you do around here?"

James replied, "If you mean 'rank' I don't have one. Fox has his merry men who answer to him, but technically I'm a civilian and don't. The reality is different of course. It's his base."

"We're having a Constitutional Convention or something this week, but in practice we're basically a Mid-evil Feudalism. Fox is King. He's got people who answer to him directly, and he's also nobles who only sort of do. That makes me... I'm not sure, a Duke? Something like that. There's a bunch of stuff I do for the good of the community, i.e. taxes. That includes working on the wall, and going on raids at Fox's direction. I also go raiding or exploring on my own, or at Jo's direction."

[Dawn OOC]

"Sounds more like Jo is the King," Helen said, but it was with a gentle laugh. Both women seemed to like the idea that he answered to a woman.

"So this Fox guy... what does he think about having a change in power?" Jan asked, quirking her eyebrow. "Seems to me he'd be pretty upset about losing his little monarchy. 'It's good to be the king;... less so to be the Senator. Is he really just going to step aside?"

The two women seemed curious, even if Helen seemed a bit nervous about the questions. Or maybe she was just nervous at Jan's rather direct and probing questions.

[Courier]

James nodded and said, "Good question. It wasn't his idea, but he's backing it. He knows he's building the future here. We're lucky to have Fox, lots of people wouldn't step aside and we'd be a military dictatorship in twenty years."

"Some parts of the Convention will be easy. Everyone approvals of democracy and individual rights. Slavery, women and minorities voting, separation of church and state, are all settled issues. Where I get concerned is dealing with the supers. I mean..."

James struggled to put his concern into words, "Say Jo decides she needs a magic trick from some famous mage's house. Her putting it on my Honey-Do list means it's my job to get it. Even if I don't agree, I have to pick my battles, and if I strongly disagree, I can argue and fire up a family fight. So far so good. And that's a silly example. A better one would be Jillian's anvil, which was both difficult and dangerous."

"But what if the community decides it needs something, and the job is too hard and dangerous for a normal person so they'd better send out James? As a matter of law does the community have that authority? Even if it's dangerous and I don't want to? Now we've moved from me doing things for my family where I have a significant say, to a situation where I'm not and I don't. I used to be a fireman; Putting my life on the line was part of the job, but that was my choice and I could quit. Consent is important."

James gave a hand wave and added, "To be fair, Fox says he's got it covered so I'm probably seeing issues where there are none. A small community isn't a problem, but I have visions of us growing to millions of people and then having Congressmen who I've never met decide what my job should be."

James nodded in a direction and said, "Message Board. I've got a few up there."

[Dawn OOC]

"What, you don't want to use your superpowers to help the community?" Helen asked with a slight laugh, but there was an edge in her voice. Jan remained silent, her dark eyes thoughtful. "I guess if you're too afraid to do something, mere mortals will have to accomplish it."

"I wish there were no supers," Jan added.

"We need them against the zombies," Helen said, reverting back to the 'must have a super' argument that James was so worried about.

"Do we? They arrived with the zombies, and if we didn't have them, we probably wouldn't have zombies either," Jan snapped. "Are they the chicken or the egg?"

[Courier]

James replied, "I do help the community. I'll be on the front line as usual on the next zombie attack and so forth. I don't want to say 'no', but the community deciding I don't have a choice is a dangerous path. The last time we decided work was too hard for normal people we imported dark skinned slaves."

James added, "And you're both right. If the magic went away then the zombies would die and the supers would be depowered. That's a fair deal." James shrugged, clearly he didn't expect god to make that offer.

James turned back to reality and said, "As it is, we need more supers, not fewer. I'd like to give everyone the super-virus, but I don't know how. Jo and Jill haven't become supers. Maybe it's hard to catch, maybe most people are immune, maybe the virus isn't enough, or maybe there's no virus. Maybe if you have the right genes then you can channel magic."

[Dawn OOC]

"Mmm, like Allen," Helen said softly.

James looked at her. "Allen?" he repeated.

"He was a guard," Jan said softly. "He had powers, mostly of the strong-fast type, mostly fast. Flash fast. He was immune to the virus, too. He'd go let a zombie bite him, then he'd get himself locked in a cell with a girl who didn't know. He'd pretend to get sick, torment her. After he raped her, he'd tell her she was going to die, too." She paused and spat. "Puta."

"How come we didn't fight him at the prison?" James asked, frowning.

"He left," Helen said. "Had a fight with Hornsbeck and took off one night."

"I hope he found himself in Hell," Jan growled.

[Courier]

James nodded in agreement and said, "Hopefully he fed some crew of zombies. When I said we need more supers, he wasn't what I had in mind."

James asked, "As long as we're talking about Hornsbeck and supers, do you have any idea where or how he got that blob-thing?"

[Dawn OOC]

Helen shuddered. "No," she said softly. "All I know is that he boasted that he had something new, and it was that thing, in a pit. He put women in there to 'fight' with it."

Jan looked pissed as Helen spoke; Helen just looked sick. Their expressions were both far away, seeing something awful.

[Courier]

James commented with sympathy, "Evil bastard. I wish I'd crossed paths with him earlier. I don't have a lot of tolerance for trying to destroy the future. The blob goes on that list too. It took a lot of killing to put down but it was worth it."

"That leaves Allen as the only one whose ticket we know we haven't punched. I'll keep an eye out for him."

He's a guard, who fought with Hornsbeck, who enjoyed being locked up with chicks...

...nah, it couldn't be. They don't look alike or someone would have said something.

...both Violet and the Nihilist were shape shifters, so it can't be all that rare an ability

...this is the kind of logic that leads people to burning witches after seeing if they weigh the same as ducks. It'd be easy enough to go back to the prison and see what the paper trail says. No, as long as we're looking for the easy way...

James said, "Jan? You were in the prison from z-day on, and not as a prisoner, did you know Simon before he was locked up?"

[Dawn OOC]

"Simon? Oh, him," Jan said easily, unaware of James' intense reason for asking. "He's a weird one. He was in the prison, yet I never heard a woman say he used them."

"I think he was the only good man there," Helen said softly. "When I was burnt, I remember hearing him arguing with the man who burned me. They didn't want to care for me, but he fought with him and Hornsbeck until they agreed to do so. At the time, I hated him..." She touched her face. "Turns out he was right." She smiled serenely.

"Yeah, and he tried to get Kristin and Ashley as his women," Jan snorted.

"That was to protect them, so that Hornsbeck wouldn't abuse them. He didn't mark Ashley permanently, like most of the other men did." Helen glanced at James. "He's under suspicion, just because he was there, isn't he?"

[Courier]

James noncommittally said, "Hmm..." Interesting. He goes after a super and her girlfriend. And he's in a women's prison and he can't score? I can buy him not wanting rape, but I though all those guards had girlfriends. The world ends and it doesn't occur to him he should find a mate? He has the ability to protect a lover or two from Hornsbeck but he doesn't have a lover? I seriously don't get this guy.

Evil bastard though he was, I understood Hornsbeck. I understand the guy with three wives. He did what he could. I even understand the guy with the baby not doing much. A 'good' guard would/should have been killed by Hornsbeck. The upper limit on what he allowed was that guy with three wives. So why did Hornbeck put up with Simon? I guess I could ask one of the other surviving guards.

Simon's behavior is just nuts unless he's getting his jollies some other way. Or... unless he's gay, or maybe impotent. That makes sense. Someone mentioned something about the guards setting on fire the one gay guard. Simon sees that and stays deep in the closet. Ashley was his way to stay there. She's young enough he could claim he was being all gentlemanly when in reality he just wasn't interested. And this isn't a conversation that would go over well with the girls. Let them keep their 'hero'.

Finally James admitted, "Yes, he's under suspicion, just because he was there. I don't understand why Hornbeck didn't have him shot. He didn't seem the type to tolerate dissension or enjoy being shamed by a good man. It also bothers me that a guard would be unknown by almost all the inmates."

James shrugged and added, "On the other hand I'm glad he did what he did. I'm glad you're alive Helen, I'm glad he protected Ashley. I'm glad he managed to survive, and I'm glad he's walking around free. I even argued that he should be. I don't envy Fox for having to decide what to do about that guy with the baby who just stood back and watched everything. What do you think?"

They had a chance to read the Honeydo list. Let's see if we can find Jo.

[Dawn OOC]

Jan snorted. "Kill 'em," she said. "I'd say the same about Simon, but... he was good to Helen. That's the only real reason he gets a bye from me. The only good men in Paradise are dead men."

Helen shook her head, sighing. "It's not cut and dried. I'd give mercy. He's got a wife and kid. James, if you didn't have power and had to protect your family, what limits would you go to?" Her hazel eyes peered at him, waiting for his answer.

James started to answer when he became aware of Jan's expression him. Something told him that he was about to be judged by the two women.

[Courier]

James instantly answered, "Limits? No limits. Family comes first, I'd do anything. If I have to kiss Hornsbeck's ass then I do."

James continued harshly, "But by those standards that guy still failed. If that baby is a girl then in 15 years Hornsbeck would be torturing her for his sick amusement. If it's a boy then in 15 years Hornsbeck would be teaching him to torture for fun and good luck getting any sane grandchildren after that."

James eyes narrowed and for a moment he saw himself as a guard in Paradise, "Put me in that guy's place and after I kissed Hornsbeck's ass I'd find some way to kill him. Poison him. Shoot him. I'd be sneaky about it, carefully plan it out, try very hard to not get caught, so call it a month, maximum, to set up. But six months means he wasn't even trying."

James relaxed and refocussed on the current reality, "Which makes him spineless and blind. But do we shoot people for that? Ultimately I'm in this for the grand children. In thirty years would it be a bad thing if my children want to marry his? In forty do I want to explain to my grand children that I killed their other grandfather for being a coward?"

James clearly didn't have a good answer for those questions.

[Dawn OOC]

"I think you judge too harshly," Helen said, her voice hard. "Killing a man because you think him a coward is inhumane. Not to mention needless. There are too few people left to kill them because we don't like their personality."

"I kinda like his point," Jan said, laughing a little. "I'm sick to death of cowardly men."

"Did I not just mention that we don't have enough people?" Helen sighed, pulling her sweater around her. "Killing people for what it a personality flaw is wasteful and stupid."

[Courier]

James replied seriously, "We're not talking about me killing him because I don't like him. I don't do that, not even at the prison. We're talking about a trial because his character flaw was involved in lots of people dying."

"On the other hand, granted, he's got a wife, kid and ideally they'd have a dozen more. We need children, lots of them. And, despite what you've seen, Fox doesn't kill easily. He is a big fan of exile though. Or he might give him probation. Or banishment for a few months."

"Exile is a big deal by the way. I get around a lot and this is the strongest, best run, and best resourced place I've seen."

James shrugged and said, "Thinking about it... I think he'll get probation. I can't imagine Fox exiling a baby, even indirectly. But bringing us full circle I'll say again I'm glad it's not my call."

James inhaled and thought he might have JoAnna's scent. He added, "And speaking of circles, that is the Cafeteria. Up for some food? Or, even if you're not... along with amazing strength and stamina I have an amazing appetite."

[Dawn OOC]

"Um no thanks," Jan said softly, shaking her head. Helen mirrored her, but was silent. "I see Violet's right over there. Would you mind if we went ahead and parted ways here?"

"Thank you for the walk, though," Helen said, giving him a lovely smile.

[Courier]

James bowed and said sincerely, "My pleasure. I'll ask you out again if I may."

Whatever they said, James went into the cafe, it was time for one of his many daily meals. While in line James reviewed this mornings events. That started out bad, got worse, then got a lot better. I like both of them... and there's a good chance they like me. They're not panicking over my presence, or even the mention of Jo. Some potential there... and this is so high school.

Food first, and if Jo is around I'll review notes with her. Then I'll hoof it over to Myf's and make an appointment to get Helen's face fixed up. I'd have tried that now but Myf is slammed, especially with burns, and it'd seriously suck to put that on the addenda and then find she isn't up to it.

It's a good excuse to meet them again too. Like 'accidentally' leaving my hat in their apartment or something.

[Dawn OOC]

It took a while to work out the arrangements with Myf. She was still very busy, and there were some critical cases to which she was devoting her energy. James had talked to her some, but couldn't set a time for what was essentially plastic surgery. Myf had removed her pain; the removal of the scars would take longer.

James was considering going out to get some medical supplies; a gift might get Helen bumped to the top of Myf's list. Someone cleared their throat, and James turned to see a group of women. None of them were very attractive; too long in prison or maybe just life itself had marked them. A quick head-count told him he had ten of them to deal with. He tensed a bit, wondering what they wanted. "Yes?" he asked cautiously.

"Jan told me you want kids, more than anything else," one of the women said. "So we have a deal. We'll give you kids for shelter and protection."

[Courier]

James got a 'deer in headlights' look. Now this I hadn't expected, or wanted either. James opened his mouth to reply, then considered. Time to open mouth & insert foot? There's lots of really awful ways to handle this, none of which would reflect well on you, let's think about this. They just got out of a rape camp, it says a lot that they'd make this offer. Some of it good, some of it bad.

James walked forward, into their personal space, they recoiled slightly. James closed his eyes and inhaled through his noise, smelling them.

James opened his eyes and said with some sympathy, "Even if there weren't too many of you, you don't want me, not really. I'm a symbol. Safety. Resources. But I can smell the fear in you. It's... I'm sorry, but I think you're offering to let me rape you. I'd know it."

James quoted gently, "The greatest gift a man can give his children is to love their mother."

[Dawn OOC]

"This isn't rape," one woman said. "We're choosing this, and that makes it consenual. Protection would be for our kids as well as us. And forget that love and tenderness shit. We're talking the survival of the human race. We know that we need children, and we all think that you're the best father for the kids."

"You can get more food," another said. "Our children wouldn't starve."

"You kill zombies better than anyone else. The kids would be safe"

"You already have several women. What's some more, even if you only 'visit' us once in a while."

"Or," one particularly bold women said, "are we too ugly for ya?"

[Courier]

Quote:

"Or," one particularly bold women said, "are we too ugly for ya?"

James put one hand on his face where Helen's scar would be, then he put it down and muttered loud enough for everyone to hear, "And the community needs supers. We can't seem to infect other people. The only alternative is to grow them."

Frowning, James seriously considered what they were offering.

10 more wives? Totaling... 12? 14? That's nuts. I couldn't/wouldn't neglect Jo and the others. I'm not willing to trade my 2 (4?) for 10. You hold what you've got.

Although they're not really asking me to trade or even neglect the others. They'd be... second tier.

Sure, second tier wives, second tier children??? I'd be breaking that rule about loving your childrens' mother.

You've done it before, with far less justification. The community needing supers wasn't a joke. Three kids each, 20 years from now we'd have 15 or 30 supers plus whatever I can coax out of the others.

It was an absolute disaster before. By far the worst move I've made. Let's try to learn from that and not deliberately put our heart in a blender again.

James looked at the women and slowly shook his head. James said with finality, "I'm sorry. I can't. 'If I bend that far, I will break.'"

[Dawn OOC]

"I guess you don't want children more than anything else," the first woman said. "I guess you are using this children thing as an excuse to get pretty women. And no, we're not impressed by Helen. We seen her before the burning, and we've heard that the doctor can fix things like that."

"Yeah," another added. "You're just another man with a line. Let's go." The group turned and started to leave, disgust almost a paltable feeling in the air.

[Courier]

James repeated somewhat inanely, "I'm sorry. I can't. If I bend that far, I will break" and then he watched the women leave.

Did I do the right thing? Thirty more children if I... Accept that I'll have second class wives, second class children, and joyfully repeat some of my previous mistakes. Yeah. I did the right thing. 'There is no other hand!' Grandchildren is my driving force, but having kids with every woman I meet is seriously the wrong solution.

But was there a painless way out I didn't see? Did I just open mouth and insert foot? Let's just replay that whole conversation.

Helen was a looker? I picked her mostly because I like the way she smells. If I'd tried explaining the situation that way... telling those women they smell bad wouldn't have been an improvement.

I'm just a man with a line? 'Let's have children' is a pick up line? That's not the way I remember the singles bar scene working. The issue is the C-word, 'Commitment'.

They just asked me to marry them, and I turned them down. 'I'll never marry you' isn't a phrase to make friends and allies. There was NO nice way out of that one.

So where does this leave me?

This leaves me trying to figure out how to move Helen to the top of Myf's priority list. This was their problem and their emotional baggage. I've left people to die, I can say 'no' to 10 women, 10 women I'm not sleeping with, who I don't want to marry.

James walked away from the women, and planned out his next move.