Aberrant: Dead Rising - Chapter 11c: Binding Ties

[Jasmine Gentian]

Jasmine sighed slightly but nodded. It seemed unfair, but it was practical. She glanced at the map, and the city Bond had indicated.

"Alright, that sounds good. Hopefully they'll still be stocked.. but there's also Odessa, Fort Stockton, and Alpine nearby, just in case."

She straightened up from bending over the map and stretched lightly to work out the kinks, unintentionally showing off a brief flash of still-taunt, "not showing yet" tummy as her arms moved over her head. It was sexy, but in an accidental, normal sort of way, as opposed to some of the otherworldly beauties they'd left behind. Then she bit her lip thoughtfully and glanced at the three men standing with her.

"Does anyone actually know how to make jerky?"

[Dawn OOC]

"I do," Simon said, raising a hand. He added with a wry grin, "Who knew that my scout master was right about me needing to know how to do all of these things?"

It took all of them helping, Simon and Mrigesh wearing gloves while they worked. Pumpkin forgot her play with Hana to wander over and stare at them butchering the cattle with wide eyes. Then the questions started.

"What ya doin'?"

"What is that thing?"

"Can I have the teeth?"

[Jasmine Gentian]

Jasmine answered about the first ten questions amiably, but even the most patient parental figure could get fed up. The others saw a flicker of annoyance cross her features.. followed swiftly by an expression of devious mischief. She turned to Pumpkin, a mild yet somewhat imploring expression on her face.

"Tell you what, sweetie. If you're interested in sticking around here instead of playing with Hana, maybe you can help us out. Can you carry the pieces we're finished cutting over to the folding table for us?"

With that, Jasmine held up the fattiest, bloodiest piece of beef she could find. Either the little imp would make herself useful... or she'd be grossed out. Either way, the questions should let up a bit.

[Atomicweasel]

Abandoned by her playmate, Hana strolled over to the Hummer and plunked herself down in the passenger seat, her legs dangling out the open door, her body slumped side-ways against the seat. She feigned disinterest as she watched the others work on preparing the jerky, watched as Pumpkin shrieked “EWW” and then grabbed up the bloody marbled strip of meat and ran over to the folding table. The wet slap of the meat against the table brought forth another shrill “EWWWWW” of disgust and delight and then an exultant cry of “Azzy, it’s GROSS!”

Hana, would you like to come help us? Hana imagined Jasmine calling sweetly from the butchered carcass of the cow. Oh, sure, Azzy. Hana would answer, skipping over with a smile. They would grin back and forth at each other. Bond would reach down to ruffle her hair as Hana bloodied her arms in cow-guts up to her elbows, Looks like you got the best of that beastie! he might say, eyes all a-twinkle. Yep, I sure did! Hana would chirp back. And then Simon would step over and reach an arm around her shoulder and maybe his hand would lie hot and heavy against her skin and his fingertips would brush her collar-bone and slide a little lower and he would say I guess you know how to handle your meat, Hana.

Yeah. Right. Hana groaned and laid herself down flat against the backseat. If she tilted her toes down she could still just touch the ground. She swung her calves lazily back and forth, trailing the tips of her sneakers over the dirt and stared up at nothing and blushed at her own stupid fantasies.

[Dawn OOC]

"Are you sure you don't want to help with the meat?" Simon's voice cut through her fantasies but didn't help her calm down. As Hana shot upright, blushing, Simon smiled at her. His grin broadened at her stammered reply and he saved her from worse by becoming somber and changing the subject.

"Are you alright?" he asked her softly. "Lately, you seem more... sad. Isolated. You always seemed that way, which I understood because of your relationship with your powers, but its been worse."

He sighed, looking troubled. "I just feel like you're hurting, and I can't help you. That's... I don't like that, Hana."

Back at the butchered cow, Pumpkin ran back to Jasmine and reached for another goblet of meat. She seemed to be making a game of grossing herself out and then screaming about it.

[Atomicweasel]

I know how you could help me. Hana thought, looking up from the little white scar on her knee to gaze at Simon from under her lashes. Stop blushing like a dumb kid. she commanded herself. “It’s just...” Hana scuffed at the dirt beneath her sneaker, watching a plume of sun-scorched dry earth drift away past Simon’s leg. She remembered something her mom used to say, usually when her little brother was mysteriously behaving himself. “I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop.”

Simon leaned against the Hummer and loomed over Hana, shading her from the bright sunlight. He looked down at her, concern still etched across his handsome face, and waited for her to say more. Hana licked her lips and rubbed her palms against her knees before obliging him. “I always thought...if anyone saw, if anyone knew what was in me...that’d they try to kill me or run from me or...” Hana trailed off with a shrug and dropped her eyes. “You know. Pitchforks and torches and all that. I mean, remember Ashley? That’s how she was, well kinda...I mean she totally freaked out—and she didn’t even really see it. I mean, I don’t blame her or anything. But Jasmine...she saved my life when I fell. She wasn’t even scared of touching me. She just caught me. And Bond just keeps grinning at me like nothing...and you told me the story about the scorpion and the frog...and it’s like...I should be happy, right?” Hana drew a line in the dust only to scuff over it a second later. “But I keep thinking how it’s not gonna last. Jasmine’s gonna have a baby.” The little teen forced her eyes to meet Simon’s. “Would you want me around your baby?”

It took Hana a moment to realize what she’d said, and then she blushed so hard she thought she’d burst. “I mean...! You know what I mean.” She hastily added.

[Jasmine Gentian]

"I think I do."

It wasn't Simon who answered her though, and she'd had only a short warning as she saw his gaze flick up from her face to look over her shoulder before she heard the voice of the very person she'd been talking about. Hana suddenly felt a sick knot her her stomach and a lump in her throat at the sound of Jasmine's words. It was that age-old feeling of embarrassment, the mortification of being caught talking about someone behind their back, or about something you didn't want anyone else to hear. She wanted to die, to melt into the ground at being discovered while pouring her heart out to Simon behind the Hummer - even if it was just about her fears. Maybe especially because of that. But when she forced herself to take a quick glance at Jasmine's face, she saw only a sort of odd resonance, an expression of complete and total empathy that confused and frustrated Hana, because like all teenagers, she didn't understand how someone else could feel exactly the same way she did - and yet their eyes told you that they did understand, that they weren't just pretending to in order to make you feel better.

She was holding a large piece of meat, something that looked too large and awkward for Pumpkin to have handled properly, and in the background she still heard the muted voices of Bond and Mrigesh, and the higher-pitched pleading of her little blond cousin for 'More, more.. it's so grooooossss!!!!'.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to overhear your conversation."

She sat the meat down, and took a couple steps closer to them, looking a bit embarrassed herself. Jasmine had never struck Simon as a particularly nosy person. He'd left a lot of questions about himself unanswered, and except for the ones that he knew she felt was relevant to whether he was appropriate to join with their group or not, she'd pretty much left it alone without prying. She picked up a paper towel and began to wipe some of the blood off her hands, leaving streaks of crimson across the stark white napkin. She studied that for a moment quietly, her face inscrutable, before folding it up to conceal the blood and tucking it in her back pocket for now.

"When Z-Day first happened, I was in a city. In a hospital.. a children's hospital. I'd spent a lot of time there as a teenager, I don't remember if I've told you about that. But I was sick a lot, and when the virus hit, I was in one of the worst possible places you could be. A place filled with other sick kids being brought in because they all had this weird new flu. And with parents worried about their kids. And with lots and lots of people whose job it was to make those kids better."

She closed her eyes for a minute and then sighed, looking uncomfortable even as she told the story, as if she were having to force herself to visit these memories.

"Once they all got sick, it got hard to hold them back. There were only a few of us left, and I was the oldest uninjured one. So when they finally broke in to where we were hiding, I was the one who fought them all off." She moistened her lips slightly, because the combination of the hot sun and the unpleasantness of the conversation had dried her mouth out. "By the time it was over, it was pretty ugly. I was standing there, and there were just.. all these bodies everywhere, covered in blood and brains and rot. And the three kids I'd managed to keep alive were just staring at me like I was some kind of.. monster. Like they were going to be sick from what they'd seen."

She sighed and leaned against the Hummer, arms crossing in an unconscious but protective gesture.

"They went with me anyway, cause they didn't have much choice. But one kid was too sick to keep living without his treatment. And the other kid, he was probably Denali's age, a couple years younger than me.. I had to kill him. He'd been bit, and he was gonna turn, and.. I had to. And that was too much for the little girl. I made the mistake of trying to sleep that night.. and she ran away. She was more scared of me than she was of the zombies, Hana."

Her gaze met the younger girl's, but her lips were pressed into a firm line meant to combat any tears that were threatening to make an appearance.

"Some people got nicer powers. They can change the weather, or leap tall buildings in a single bound, or make people love them.. though after seeing that in action I'm not sure it isn't more frightening. Hell, Gabrielle sprouted wings and started healing people like some kind of angel from God or something. But not me, Hana - I became a killing machine. And you control the darkness, I guess. And death and darkness are two things people have always been scared of. So I guess there's a lot of people who will probably be scared of us. But the world is fucked up - I'm sorry, screwed up enough as it is. And I don't see any reason why I should be afraid of you unless you give me a real reason to be.. a reason based on your thoughts or your actions, not your abilities. So far.. you're not any scarier than I am, and I already spent too many months being scared of myself to go through all that again."

[Atomicweasel]

Hana’s eyes darted to Simon and back to Jasmine. She took a deep breath and held it. And let it out again. You don’t get it. You think you get me, but you don’t get me. You wanna stand there and pretend like we’re the same because you killed a bunch of zombies and some kids got scared of you, but we’re not the same and we’ll never be the same. Because I’m the scorpion. It’s in my nature. I don’t control the darkness, dumbass, Hana thought. the darkness controls me. The darkness is me. You want to help people. You care about people, you even care about me and that makes you think you know me, but you don’t know me. You probably feel chosen. You probably feel blessed with your stupid powers. You can have them. I wish you could have mine, too.

“Okay. Thanks, Jasmine.” Hana heard herself say. She was surprised how genuine it sounded, how earnestly grateful. She crossed her ankles and swung her feet back and forth and looked down before she smiled. Shy and sweet. And she tried not to think of the black poison building up inside of her and how it kept getting harder and harder to hold it back. “Hey, um...do you think I could ride with Simon and Mrigesh for a bit?” Hana asked timidly. “I promise I’ll still do all my homework.” The little teen vowed, resisting the temptation to put air quotes around ‘homework’

[Jasmine Gentian]

Jasmine gazed at her for a long moment, longer than usual. It wasn't Hana's act that was lacking, or causing the suspicion (mingled with concern) to start forming in Jasmine's mind. The act was convincing, but the switch was too sudden. Hana was an upset, angry, scared, thirteen-year-old girl.. one who'd just killed a couple men. She was practically the same age Jasmine had been when she'd been diagnosed with a potentially-terminal illness, and though the circumstances were drastically different, she remembered how it felt to smile sweetly and perfect an act of bravery to those around you, and only let your feelings show when you were alone, by yourself, with no one to witness your fear or your rage.

"Sure, Hana. Just.. let me know if there's anything I can do to help."

And with that, she turned, and walked back to Bond and Mrigesh and Pumpkin, and resumed her work on the meat. It was the first time Hana had been able to tell that Jasmine hadn't bought the lie. If she tried hard enough she could probably even forget about the flicker of hurt she saw in Jasmine's gaze as she turned away.

[Dawn OOC]

Simon was quiet for a long moment. "She means it," he said softly. "It's in her nature, Hana, just as the darkness is in yours. She'll never betray you or turn on you. She just wants to help."

He pushed off the side of the truck. "I understand how you think she's going to run you off. She never will. It'll be Bond that would do it; he'll protect his family before anyone else. But Jasmine won't, because you're her family now." He turned and leaned down, murmuring, "And I won't either. I like your darkness, Hana, just like I like other things about you. So when Bond makes you leave, or you decide to leave before he makes you, I'll go with you. Even if it's just you and me on foot, we'll do it together, ok?" His blue eyes were bright as he gave her a crooked smile.

[Atomicweasel]

Hana hunched forward, dragged another line through the dirt with her flip-flops, and then peered up into the bright blue of Simon’s eyes. She tried to imagine it. Simon and her on the road, walking together over dusty miles, and sharing their food and seeking out shelter. Or maybe they would have a car, but not a Hummer. It would be something better. A Landrover. Landwhale her dad used to call them. Simon would drive and she would have a map, taken from a rest-stop, and they would drive all the way through to California, to the ocean. They’d have a couple of sleeping bags, but if it got really cold in the desert, at night, then maybe they would just share one. And Hana thought about that, about Simon’s strong arms wrapped all the way around her and her back tucked up tight against his chest. And the warmth of his skin on her skin. And then one night Simon might just whisper his love into the nape of her neck and she would turn around and then they would kiss and it would be perfect. Not slobbery and not clumsy and not gross and not weird. Because why else would Simon say something like that, why would he risk leaving the protection of Bond and Jasmine for her, if he doesn’t love me? Hana thought. It wasn’t that incredible. It wasn’t that unlikely. In the mornings they would have coffee together, Hana would make it herself, and they would sit shoulder to shoulder on top of the car and watch the sun rise up and spill light into the sky like the yolk from an egg. And it wouldn’t be that bad. It wouldn’t be like being alone, or pretending to be someone else. She could just be what she was, because Simon didn’t care about the darkness. He liked it. How he could like it, Hana couldn’t figure...but knowing that he did gave her a secret, dirty thrill. And if anyone tried to hurt Simon, or come between them, she would let all her darkness out, all of it at once. And she wouldn’t bring it back or make it stop until there was nothing left.

But they couldn’t just go, not right now. They would need some things first. Clothes and gas and food and guns. Would Bond just let them take that stuff? It’s better to wait. Hana decided. She would wait and see and if Bond did make her go, she wouldn’t go alone. Or empty handed. “You really mean it?” She asked Simon, her expression inscrutable as her thumb unconsciously rubbed against the friendship bracelet on her left wrist.

[Fox]

"You're worried about her."

Softly voiced, so low that only a super's hearing would have discerned it over the sounds of Pumpkin screeching with grossed-out laughter, it wasn't a question or even a probing statement, Jasmine knew without looking at the man beside her. She looked anyway, flicking her warm brown eyes over to meet his.

"Yeah." she replied as softly, smiling a little bit as though they were having just a quiet couples conversation. "Hana's afraid of her power. She can't control it and she's expecting us to kick her out, Jim. I can hear her and Simon over there. He doesn't think I would, but he thinks you would in a second if you thought Hana was a threat to us." That last was accompanied by an questioning, appraising glance. She knew that Bond was rational and logical to a chilling degree, no matter how warm he appeared to be with her and others like Pumpkin there was always the tick-tick-ticking of his brain behind the carefree smile as it went about weighing and analysing everyone. Would you? her eyes asked him silently. Could you?

"Only if she was a deliberate threat to us." Bond replied quietly, holding Jasmine's gaze with his. "Only then." he repeated with quiet emphasis. "She's better off with us, and we're better off for having her with us."

"Fine." Jasmine said with a wry smile. "You tell her that. She'll probably not believe it anyway; be warned."

"We'll see." Bond said with a shrug and smile. "You have things under control here?" At Jasmine's nod he rose to his feet, scooping up a handful of dry, dusty earth and using it to clean the worst of the gunk and blood from his hands. He sauntered over to the Falcon and took a canteen from the driver side door, using it to sluice off his hands as he looked over his shoulder at the butchering, then at Simon and Hana, a grin on his face.

"Volunteers to shirk off with me and get some water. Excellent." he said with a twinkle in his eyes. "The empty containers are in the back: grab one each. Those cows must have a watering hole somewhere nearby, and the filtration unit we have takes care of the nasties." He hung his canteen around his neck and wandered around to the back of the Hummvee, opening it up and taking a couple of empty water cans from the rack there.

"We'll try to the east first. The land that way looks a little greener." he suggested, waiting for Hana and Simon to get ready.

[Dawn OOC]

Simon gave her a nod; he might have said more but he spied Bond walking toward them. He was already pushing himself to his feet, anticipating that Bond was going to put them to work. As Bond explained what he wanted done, Simon nodded agreeably and offered Hana a hand. "Shall we?" he asked her with a small dip of his head.

"Yes, we shall," Hana said, more as an excuse to touch his hand. He let go of it when she was up on her feet, though. Hana hid her disappointment.

"Alright, east it is," Simon said easily, grabbing empties of his own to help carry water back.

[Atomicweasel]

Grabbing one of the empty gallon jugs out of the Hummer, Hana chased after the two men. Dangling at the end of her arm, the jug slapped against her thigh and her jogging run caused the strap of her summer dress to drop away from her shoulder. Hana paused to jerk it back into place and held it there with her free hand as she scurried after Bond and Simon. When she’d caught up, Hana fell into step between them. She had to work at matching their pace, the rhythmic clap slap of her sandals marking the tempo of their strides.

Hana felt a little flushed with pride that she’d been chosen to accompany Bond and Simon. Bond hadn’t asked Mrigesh. He hadn’t asked Jasmine. Maybe it was just because she happened to be sitting there in the Hummer doing nothing, but it made her feel very adult. Until she realized that she hadn’t brought her father’s revolver with her. Stupid dress! “I didn’t bring my gun.” Hana informed Bond. “I didn’t have anywhere to put it...” she added as he glanced down at her.

“I don’t think you’ll want for it. We’re just fetching some water.” Bond looked over her head at Simon, then back at the young teen.

“Yeah, but what if there’s...” Something about the way Bond was looking at her made Hana trail off.

“Call it a hunch, but I think you’ll be fine.” He gave her an amused grin and marched on.

Oh.

[Dawn OOC]

"If you really need something," Simon said softly, "I have a spare strapped to my left ankle. Go for it if you need it." He gave her a reassuring grin that only reminded her of his promise. He promised to come with me! She still felt a thrill when she thought of that.

They walked for a bit; then Bond's sharp blue eyes spotted water. It wasn't much to look at; a dip in the landscape filled with brown, sullen-looking water. Only the thoughts of filters could make them even consider drinking it.

[Fox]

"Better than nothing." Bond summed up after they all stared at the pool for a moment. The three of them moved down to the pool and spread out a little around it's edge, bending down to fill up their containers. For a minute or so there was almost-comfortable silence broken only by the scraping of caps being unscrewed and the glugging of water displacing air.

"We'll have to see about getting you a proper holster rig for your gun, Hana." Bond said abruptly. The girl looked up, tugging up the errant strap of her dress again, to realise that the maybe-crazy merc was looking at her, his blue eyes friendly and considering. "And some hard-wearing clothes. It'd be a crying shame to wear that dress down to nothing. And lets face it, staying with us is going to mean having your gun close at hand. The travelling life isn't terribly safe..." he grinned widely "But it is certainly better than living some of the places we've seen, hmm?"

Hana looked down at what she was doing and said nothing for a moment, weighing what Bond had said as she hauled up her container and screwed the lid on tight. Then she looked back up at Bond. He was still studying her, his expression watchful yet friendly.

"Jasmine talked to you." Hana stated rather than accused. Bond nodded with a one-shouldered shrug.

"She did." he confirmed. "She likes you, and Pumpkin adores you. Jasmine's worried you'll cut and run because you think I'll force you out." Bond set down one of his containers before starting on the next. There was a subtle magnetism to his movements, the way he didn't take his eyes off her as he worked. "One of the reasons I oh-so-subtly asked you two out here was to present my position, which is 'That won't happen unless I know you wish us ill'."

"You've got a scary gift, but you're not the first super I've met who was scary. I don't think your power is evil - it's hard and cold and ruthless, suited to these times. You evolved that darkness inside you, just like those men that attacked us, just like pretty much everyone who survives these days has a place inside them that lets them do what has to be done. The survival zone." Bond smiled wryly, glancing at Simon, then back at Hana. "It makes it hard to trust people, knowing that they've been through their own version of the same hell you have, maybe worse, and because you know what you're capable of to survive, you wonder what they are capable of too."

"Well, I want people with me who have that dark place inside them." Bond went on, his tone level as his gaze. "I want people who know that to survive, you have to be ruthless. Not cruel for the sake of cruelty, but hard. With you, the dark place simply has a more direct way of expressing itself."

"But how do you know you can trust me?" Hana asked, aware of Simon watching, proud of herself that she could meet Bond's eyes. "How do you know I won't hurt you all?"

"You're not crazy, Hana." Bond told her calmly. "You can decide what's in your own best interests. You've got no reason to believe you're better off without decent travelling companions. I also don't think you're murderous. You're as afraid of your power as anyone, aren't you?"

[Atomicweasel]

Hana slowly nodded. She straightened her back and the heavy water jug dangled at the end of her arms where she clutched the handle in both hands. The girl's dark eyes slid away from Bond to the bare landscape of scrub brush and baked dirt and empty infinite sky. The sun hung hot and red like an open wound and Hana squinted at it and thought, is that what I am, ruthless? She had turned her back on that woman on the road. In Texas. Walked away from the pitiful screams. She could have helped her. She could have let the darkness out on them all. She hadn’t. Hana thought of that woman screaming and reaching out for nothing and getting dragged across concrete and she thought of Marmac mall and all those scared and hungry people who had needed someone to lead them and who had got Carlos Salazar instead, with his funny fixed smile and his wide open eyes.

It wasn't the fear of her power that had kept her from helping the woman. Or the people in Marmac, they're probably all dead by now anyway. It wasn't even the fear of being discovered as she'd let herself think, as she'd let Ashley and Kristin think. It was something deeper, Hana realized now. She wasn't scared of her power. She was scared of liking it. She was scared of the sick sweet rush when the darkness came pouring out of her. She was scared of how hard it was to keep it in, like holding your breath under water and how easy it was to let it out. How good it felt.

As she stood there under Bond and Simon's scrutiny, Hana fought the urge to cry. Behind the inscrutable mask of her face, Hana struggled against the knot of emotion in her throat, the first tickle of tears. She wanted to just sit down and sob like a child. With abandon. She wanted to hold herself and bawl until her nose ran with snot. She wanted everything to be how it was before Z day.

"Maybe we can go shopping..." The hoarseness in Hana's voice made it come out a shy whisper.

Bond's smile was genuine and encouraging, but Hana saw that it never reached his eyes. Under that icy pale gaze she felt naked and exposed. In spite of the pep-talk he'd just given her, she was sure that he could see right through her, that he would lower his face to hers and stare right at her and say I know what you are.

But all Bond did was tilt his chin toward the Hummers and say, "C'mon. Let's get this water back."

They lugged the water back to where Jasmine and Mrigesh and Pumpkin waited, Hana lagging behind the two men. Several times she stopped to set the water between her feet and wipe her fist across her eyes, but when Simon turned back to help her she quickly blurted, "It's okay, I got it," and insisted on carrying her own jug of water.

By the time they'd reached the back of Bond's Hummer and hefted the water jugs into the trunk, Hana's eyes were dry, the last of her secret silent tears swiped away on the back of her hand.

"I think we're overdue for a shopping trip." Bond said as he reached around Jasmine's hip to take hold of her waist.

"When are we going?" Pumpkin shouted before Jasmine could so much as open her mouth. She bounded over to pull on Jasmine's arm, as if it'd been the young woman's idea and not Bond's. "Azzy, can we go now?"

[Dawn OOC]

Click to reveal..

5 xp