Aberrant: Stargate Universe - The Long Drive Home... [Complete]

[Aradia McConnell]

Dinner had been eaten and the meals had been paid for, and eventually the last bit of conversation had wound down enough for the silence to be telling. Aradia stepped outside the restaurant with the others, but broke away with Wakiki as he headed towards his car. She paused for a second though, when she realized Livy wasn't headed away from the van, and turned to her old friend.

"Isn't Livy coming with us?"

[z-Wakiki Izumi]

"No, she's not," Wakiki said, his voice even. He opened the door for her and then paused. "Unless you're gonna insist she comes along." His animated expression was closed, a pleasant smile on his face that could have meant anything. She didn't feel that his expression signaled danger, just something odd for him.

Wakiki watched her surprise cross her face. Patiently, he waited for her to make her call. When she said, "Ok" and got into the car, his smiled widened a little. He glanced across the parking lot as his sister climbed into the van with her coworkers; she paused and gave him a look. Don't worry baby sister, he thought as he waved and nodded, you know I won't hurt Aradia. Or you used to know that, before mother-fucking Bill.

His good meal sat sourly on his stomach as he put the car in gear and pulled onto the road. He was quiet until Aradia pointed out that this wasn't the way to Cheyenne Air Force Base. "I know," he said. "I... here, we're here anyway."

He pulled over at a roadside park overlooking Colorado Springs and turned off the car. He considered for a second how to broach the subject bothering him. He decided to be brutal and honest. "Aradia... I'm very scared," he said, putting his heart into his words. "I'm scared for you, for Livy... for all the really nice people I met tonight, but let's be honest. The two you are wrapped up in something bad.

"Tonight, I met Andre the giant's younger brother, a model-cum-doctor-scientist and some guy I would let bend me over a table if he asked right. There's Yseult, who's acting like her world is shattering. And don't get me started about Gwyn and Declan. One won't sleep, the other has eyes from a horror movie and the appetite of an elephant, just like half the people there tonight, including my sister. I'm the only one who took home a doggie bag. That's not normal, not with those portions. Then there's you, who loves the circus more than anything else, joins the military but doesn't tell her military dad about it.

"And then there's Livy... she's been getting worse and worse ever since she started working for these yahoos. She was bad after fuckin' Bill, but stable. Then she ends up at Groom Lake and starts having memory issues, depression... whatever they're doing, it's fucking with my sister. I'm scared that whatever is going on is killing her. Please tell me, what is going on?"

[Aradia McConnell]

Aradia was quiet for a long moment, then she let out a long sigh as her head fell back against the headrest, and she kicked her feet up onto Wakiki's dash. It caused her skirt to slide up, but she didn't really notice. Her posture was one of the main reason she didn't wear dresses, after all.. they had a tendency to become at least somewhat indecent once she started moving around in them, even if she wasn't doing acrobatics. She let out a groan, and turned to him, an accusing look on her face that was only partially humorous.

"You got me in here to try and get what's going on out of me, because Livy won't tell you shit and you know I'm the worst liar in the mother-fucking universe. That's cold, Waki."

She leaned her head back against the headrest for a second, and let out a groan of annoyance. This whole situation sucked. After a minute she ran a hand through her hair, and turned to him again, studying the concern written into his features carefully.

"What has Livy told you?"

[z-Wakiki Izumi]

Wakiki turned on the seat, sneaking looks at her legs - and yeah, down the front of her dress - and said, "Not a thing." His voice was hard and angry as he said, "I don't know why she doesn't trust me. Six years I've just kept my mouth shut and waited for her. And during that time, I've seen her unhappy and suffer, and I thought I was doing the right thing.

"And then Vinny showed back up," Wakiki said, "and I couldn't wait anymore. Do you know..." He stopped with a sigh and said, "Ok, I realize that you're her friend and have probably noticed the same changes I did. And unless she's taken you into her confidence, you're probably just as frustrated as I am.

"But it's pretty fuckin' hard to know what's wrong while waiting for her to confide in you." Wakiki sounded miserable, and he forgot to check out Aradia.

[Aradia McConnell]

"Wakiki.."

Aradia sighed, hating to see how frustrated and upset he was, but at the same time unwilling to do anything to betray Liv's confidences. She chewed on her bottom lip for a moment or two before speaking.

"Look.. you can't take this personally. Whatever she hasn't told you.. it's not necessarily a matter of trust. I know she trusts you, you can't doubt yourself like that. But there are just some things.. you can't make yourself tell anyone. Sometimes because you're not allowed.. or because you're afraid.. or because you're ashamed. You know? Are you gonna tell me there's nothing that someone could do to you that you couldn't bear to tell Livy about? Because you'd be lying, and I know it.. no one's that open."

She was quiet for a moment, fiddling with the sash that she had gathered into her lap.

"You don't need to worry about the Vinny thing. At least.. I don't think so. She told me.. well, I kind of forced it out of her. There's a lot to be said for living two doors down from someone for being able to talk them into telling you stuff. But she told me that apparently.. the whole fuck up with Vinny was just that. A fuck up. Apparently he showed up, saw her hugging Bill, thought he was getting screwed.. and left. Was it a shitty thing to do? Sure - he could've at least asked her about it. But I dunno - he's my boss, and so far he seems kind of like the impulsive type. I imagine he wouldn't be one of those guys to take it real well if he thought he was getting two-timed. So it sounds like he packed up and left town instead of kicking the shit out of Bill, which knowing Vinny probably woulda been his other response."

Wakiki opened his mouth to reply, an angry look on his face, and Aradia knew what he was going to say, so she held up a hand first.

"Remember, he didn't know her as well as we do - they'd only known each other a week, you know? How was he supposed to know she wasn't that kinda girl?"

Aradia was avoiding the real questions, hoping that talking about Vinny and trying to calm Wakiki's nerves about his sister's relationship situation might distract him a bit from the rest of it. She could only hope he would take the bait.

[z-Wakiki Izumi]

It didn't seem to calm him much; his eyes narrowed and she heard his teeth grind for a moment. "Fuckin' Bill. I wish he had killed that fuck. Fuck, I should have killed that fuck when I had my hands on him."

The startling comment was completely out of nature for the Wakiki that Aradia knew. He wasn't as gentle as Livy; she'd heard his views on self-defense before. But she also knew that he preferred non-violence as an option.

"My sister's life has been fucked up by that shit enough," Wakiki snarled. "If I find him, I'll fucking kill him this time." He looked away, his muscles standing out on his jaw as he mumbled, "Well, if Vinny doesn't get him first."

Suddenly his fist lashed out and he punched the dashboard. Aradia jumped, scared, and Wakiki immediately held up his hands. "Sorry... I'm sorry, Ari. Fuckin' Bill's sore subject for me. I hate that fuck and I hope he dies in a fire. But unless you tell me that he's been hanging around for the last year, he's not responsible for what's happened to her recently. She was stable after dating that chick, and then during and after Sean. It was working for the government that has started messing her up again, and I don't fucking like it one bit." He held up a hand, his fingers an inch apart. "I'm this close to becoming a conspiracy nut. I mean... she's had memory loss. The day she 'hit her head at work' she came home with a cut on her neck, here." He traced a finger in a vertical line from just below his Adam's apple to the hollow of his throat. "I mean, who gets cut there, like that, unless they're having surgery?"

He glanced at her, eyes pleading. "I won't tell anyone else, I just need you to tell me that she's not involved in anything dangerous, that her changes have nothing to do her job, and I'll look elsewhere."

[Aradia McConnell]

Aradia bit her lip again, and looked down at the scarf in her lap, fidgeting with it. When she spoke, she didn't look at him - she couldn't say what she had to say looking into his eyes, seeing them looking back at her with that haunted expression.

"I.. I can't tell you that, Wakiki. And I can't tell you what happened before I showed up.. I don't know about that. To tell you the truth, I just got out of - I mean, I just started doing stuff a couple weeks ago. So I don't know a lot yet, and that's the truth. What I do know is.. what makes us.. different. You know, model boy and creepy eyes and giant men and endless appetites.. the government didn't do it to us. And there's nothing they can do about it. Other than try to help us. And I'm not lying about that, I swear. They're not the bad guys. There's way worse out there."

She finally dared to look up at him, and take a deep breath.

"Look, you gotta think of it this way. Livy - she always wanted to be a hero. And that means taking chances. You think if she wasn't here.. if this hadn't come along.. she wouldn't be in danger? My guess is she'd be over in Baghdad or something, reporting about the conditions of the Iraqi people or in Africa covering genocide. She'd probably be in more danger there than she is here.. and less able to handle it. They.. they couldn't keep us here if we weren't okay with staying, Wakiki. I mean.. we'd have to run. But we could leave. There isn't one of us who couldn't find a way, I'd bet money on it. So they sure can't make us do anything we don't want to do. I wish.. I would there was more to tell you, something I could say to make you feel better. But.. that's all I got. I'm sorry. I've already said.. way more than I should."

She hung her head again, looking - for the first time since Wakiki had known her - like she might cry. Aradia hated secrets.. she hated keeping them, she hated lying to people, and she hated having to double talk.

"I'd be more likely than Livy to try to leave. She wants to be a hero.. but I don't know how long I can live like this. I don't mind the danger.. what have I got to lose, anyway? I'm not anybody to anybody, except Dad, I guess. But I hate - hate - hate having to do this. Having to beat around the bush, afraid to call my Dad, afraid to call my friends cause I don't know what to tell them and I can't bring myself to lie to them."

[z-Wakiki Izumi]

Wakiki was quiet for a moment. "If Livy wanted to be in a warzone, at least I'd understand what is happening to her. But she's supposed to be a librarian and historian for fuck's sake - why are coworkers trying to kill her? Why are the members of her team clearly not librarians?

"You're telling me that they're the good guys. Fine, I'll believe you because it's you. But," he said emphatically, holding up a finger, "there are situations where the good guys get other people killed. Especially people like my sister, who are big-hearted and just want to help, to the point of failing to look after themselves. So just because they're the good guys doesn't mean they're good for Livy.

"It's funny how people tell me more than they should without telling me shit," Wakiki grumbled. "Declan is the scariest mother I've ever met, but Livy talks about him like he's suffering from PTSD. Caine's a model and Livy's fuckin' boss. What the fuck?

"And you - can't talk to anyone except the people inside. If it weren't for the fact you're with a government, this would sound like a mother fuckin' cult," Wakiki continued. He looked tired as he rubbed his face. "And don't you ever, ever assume again that you don't mean anything to anyone. You mean a shitload to Livy, and I care about you, too. To be honest, one of the reasons I'm doing this is because I'm worried about you, too. Shit is all fucked up, and my ladies are deep in it. I just... damn it, I just want to help." He reached out and caught her chin. "I can keep secrets, if you need someone to talk to. I've kept Livy's secret about why she really dumped Bill for six years."

[Aradia McConnell]

She studied him for a minute, her eyes searching his intently. Finally, the corner of her lips quirked very slightly and became a very faint wry smile.

"I thought she didn't tell you shit."

He shook his head, still looking pissed about it.

"She didn't."

"Then how did you find out?"

"Bill and I had a talk."

"A talk, huh?"

"Yup."

"And what did you find out from this talk?"

Wakiki hesitated, and shook his head slightly, looking apologetic.

"Sorry, Ari.. it's like I said. I've kept that secret for six years. I can't really do that.. and besides, why would you trust me to keep your secrets from Livy, if I don't keep hers from you? Anyways.. it was a long time ago. Livy had some.. problems with some friends of Bill's, that bastard. Four of 'em. I'm not tellin' more than that - it's not my place."

Aradia's eyes widened, and she let out a little gasp.

"There were four of them?! My god.. poor Livy."

[z-Wakiki Izumi]

Wakiki glanced at her, and his eyes were both sad and murderous. "She told you, huh? I'm glad she's confided in you. She needs to talk about it and work it out. Bottling it up means that she'll just make it worse." He sighed. "At least she's confiding in someone."

He glanced hopefully at her. "I don't suppose she's mentioned any names, has she? All Bill gave me was the name Carl, and that's not enough to find the bastard that he owed the money to."

Aradia swallowed loudly. "Money?"

"Yeah," Wakiki said bitterly. "I don't think she ever knew about that. Bill sold her to Carl to reduce his debt. Nice, huh? Oh, he didn't see it that way, naturally. He said that the reduction in debt was for inviting Carl and some friends over for a private party." He dropped his head on the head rest. "I should have fuckin' killed him. Oh, well. It's not like I can't correct that mistake now."

[Aradia McConnell]

Aradia took his hand, and squeezed it slightly.

"Please don't feel bad, Waki. I've been trying to get it out of her for years now, just like you. She wouldn't tell me jack shit either. But.. I just got lucky, I guess. Caught her in a moment, she was talking about Vinny, and what happened after Kuwait, and.. well.. I was finally able to get her to tell me enough to figure it out. She didn't say much about it, really.. only enough for me to get it. It was just a couple days ago. This stuff about Vinny is pretty new. I dunno.. maybe there's some things you can only confide in another woman? Would you be able to tell her, if something like that had happened to you? I should probably feel bad, getting that out of her while she was vulnerable like that. But.. you're right. She needed to talk about it, tell someone. Or maybe.. maybe I just needed to know why she had changed so much."

She sat back in her chair with a little sigh.

"Look, Wakiki - we ever figure out who this guy is.. I'll fuckin' help you take him." She paused for a moment, then turned to look at him again. There was something in her face that chilled him a bit. There was no bravado about it. Just anger.. smoldering, burning anger. "You wouldn't need anybody else. You and me, we could do it. Vinny too, maybe. But we could do that - and make him suffer too."

[z-Wakiki Izumi]

Wakiki was quiet, then he said, "I have a P.I. looking for Bill right now. He's our only lead on this Carl shit. I always thought it convenient that he only knew the guy's first name and couldn't give a good description. If I can make him more scared of us than this Carl, we'll have a chance." He looked at her, and he was as serious as she'd ever seen him.

"Really, Aradia, can you torture a man, cut him open or tear him apart, to get information out of him?" Wakiki asked. "Are you going to be able to listen to him scream for mercy, and beg for his life? Fuck, I want him dead, bad, and I'm not sure I'll be able ta do it. I couldn't once."

He looked out over the glowing city. "And I'm not sure I'd want you to do it. Acting on that kind of hate will change you. I didn't kill Bill but I went further than I thought I would. And I... I don't know. I had a hard time afterwards, even with what I didn't do.

"I won't say you can't come, but just make sure you're sure," he said, his thumb stroking the back of her hand gently.

[Aradia McConnell]

Aradia's lips parted slightly, as if she was about to object - to declare that yes, she could do it. That she'd be happy to do it, to someone who had done what they did to Livy. But she caught herself, and searched his face for a long moment before nodding slightly, appearing to take his words seriously.

"I will. And if I'm not.. I won't. I promise."

She turned her hand and slipped it into his, squeezing slightly.

"I'll let you know if I find out anything. You'll do the same, right?"

He nodded slightly, relieved in a way to have someone to be able to share this burden with who cared about Livy as much as he did. Aradia's brow furrowed slightly with the stress of the evening, and she sighed a little, looking back up at him.

"And I promise.. if it gets to be too much.. I'll come to you, Waki. I know I can trust you."

[z-Wakiki Izumi]

"Yeah, I should have something about fuckin' Bill soon. Moreno's good." Wakiki's familiar, mischievous smile twisted his face in the intimate darkness. "He found Vinny for Dad back in ninety-seven, and he found him again for me after I started to worry about Livy." Wakiki frowned. "I am a little surprised he's having this much trouble, to be honest. He found where he'd been living until two weeks ago, then he vanished. He'll turn up again, I'm sure. Scum always floats to the top, right?"

He liked holding her hand. Careful... you don't know if she'd even be interested. "I've got your back, Aradia. Always have, always will." He gave her a real smile instead of one of his smirks. "After all, you gave me my first paying job - almost had me convinced to join the circus, you know?"

He paused and rubbed his chin with his free hand. Aradia could hear the rasp of a day's worth of stubble as he said, "Say... do you think I'm crazy to consider moving here? To be closer to Livy... and you, too."

[Aradia McConnell]

She nodded slightly at his comment about Bill, and smiled back at him softly, laughing a little at his mention of the circus.

"You'd be a great ringmaster, Waki. You know how to work a crowd.. always have. I'll bet you're even better at it now."

She tilted her head slightly and studied him for a moment, then shook her head and smiled.

"No, I don't think you're crazy - I'll bet Livy'd like having some family around. She's always been so close to you guys.. I'll bet it's hard on her, being so far away. But, I mean.. if you're closer, you're going to see more, you know? Like the stress, and the ups and downs? You gotta be ready for that, without feeling like you need to drill her about it. I know you worry. You always have. I know I wouldn't mind having you around. I don't know any of these people, and.. well, if I've gotta be away from the circus, you and Livy are the people I'd want to be close to the most. So.. I know I wouldn't mind."

[z-Wakiki Izumi]

"I've gotten better about working crowds yeah." He frowned. "This is going to set my music back. Most of my fans - well, all of them - are in Berkeley. And this place has a more country-western vibe than rap." After a moment, he shrugged.

"Yeah, I've been thinking about it a lot," he said, "especially lately. The area's nice enough, and I'd like to be closer. I've done a bit of job hunting over the last week-"

"Last week!?" Aradia interrupted. "I thought you flew in for Livy's birthday."

Wakiki's grin was apparently bashful, but Aradia wasn't fooled; she saw that unrepentant twinkle in his eye. "I may have been in town a little longer than I led Olivia to believe. I just... wanted to feel some things out, maybe have a man-chat with Wright." His expression said it was his duty as a brother.

Rapidly, he switched the subject. "I know what you mean about watching Livy and being able to do nothing. Already did that for six years, hon. I'm kinda good at it now. She's told me some things, but I don't know why she didn't tell me about the big thing." He looked to her and his expression was hopeful. "Do you know why she didn't say anything for so long?"

[Aradia McConnell]

Aradia lingered for a moment before answering, as if she wanted to make sure she gave him the right answer. The car was starting to feel stifling, and she had a feeling they were going to be here for awhile, so she rolled down the window to let the breeze in, and gazed out the window into the night air for a moment before she turned and looked at him again.

"I can wager a guess. I mean.. I've never been there, so all I can give you is a woman's perspective, Waki. But you know.. it's the ultimate way a man can take away a woman's control. You're possessing the one thing that's supposed to be completely and totally yours, to do what you want with it. If a man gets hit on by a skanky woman, he thinks "Well, I wouldn't do it, but at least she thinks I'm hot"."

She drummed her fingers for a moment on the window, then kept speaking.. almost as if she was working it out in her own mind as she translated it to him, woman to man.

"If a woman gets hit on by a skanky man, it feels like an invasion. Because, deep down, most women know that if that guy wanted to - unless they're some kind of bad-ass biker chick or something, or the guy is a pansy - that man could make them do what they wanted, just cause they're stronger. They just.. could. And we wouldn't be able to do a damned thing about it, other than hope someone comes along and saves our ass. So just think.. think about if someone had that kind of power over you, and then - used it. They actually went beyond all the rules and the ways that society thinks we should act, and did whatever the fuck they wanted to you. Would you want to talk about it? Would you ever even want to think about it? It doesn't matter how many fuckin' shrinks you see or self help books or fuckin' Lifetime movies. No one - and I mean no one - would wanna talk about that shit. They want to bury it in the back of their mind, and pretend it never happened."

Aradia shook her head firmly, drawing in a shaky breath as she pictured herself in Livy's shoes for the first time. Four guys, Bill the Bastard in the other room or something like that, knowing you're completely screwed and there was nothing you could do about it.

"Hell, I like to think I'm a tough girl, and that I can take care of myself. But.. if someone did that to me.. I think I'd just want to forget all about it too. Hell, I'd probably think it was my fault or some stupid shit like that, you know? Like I shoulda been stronger, or tougher, or faster so I could run away. Who knows what kinda stuff has been running through that girl's brain all these years? Getting raped is like getting shot at in a mother fuckin' war.. all these guys come back with PTSD and shit, and nobody knows what to do with them. Cause they're here.. and they look the same.. but they're a whole other person now, and they'll never be the person they were ever again."

She'd finally said it - the "R" word. The word neither of them had spoken, up to that point. And now that it was there, it was like it was hanging in the air, pressing down on them in a way that made them feel nauseous, like they would go back and erase the whole conversation, so that it didn't even have to be spoken.

[z-Wakiki Izumi]

Wakiki was quiet for a moment. “You’re going to call me a total man over this,” he said, and his voice seethed with rage, “but I am both completely enraged by the effects you’re describing, because they happened to my baby sister, and totally confused. Why wouldn’t you do whatever it took to get this guy? If she’d told me what she really felt, I’d have found Bill and done anything to make her feel safe again.” He was quiet for a moment, then jerked open the car door. Aradia felt the barely constrained violence in him as he popped the trunk open on the car and rummaged around. She was surprised to see him carrying a tire iron, but she suddenly understood when he walked up to a fence post and hit it with the steel bar. As she watched, Wakiki expelled his anger on that post, pounding it with the tire iron until he finally stumbled away, panting a little.

He turned to the car and offered it, saying, “You want a turn. It does wonders for the blood pressure.”

[Aradia McConnell]

She took it from him, but she looked down at it for a long moment, not making any move to swing it at anything. She looked up at him and tilted her head slightly, sighing a little.

"You don't get it cause you are a man. It's not bad, Waki.. just different, ya' know? Don't you realize doing whatever to Bill - or Carl, or whoever else those fuckers are doesn't necessarily mean she'll feel safe? Just cause they aren't around anymore doesn't mean someone else couldn't do it to you her all over again. Nothing you do for her - hell, nothing she does for herself can undo it. Every woman walking down a back alley at night or by herself in a fuckin' parking lot or to the bus stop after work thinks about it. And more so the ones who've had it happen."

She stood up and began to pace, her mood gradually shifting from somber to pissed off as she moved.

"And hell, it isn't even just that kinda shit. This is a sorry fuckin' world we live in, you know that? You can't do anything without having to worry about what's gonna happen. You can't let your kids play in the yard without worrying some sick pervert is gonna snatch em."

She swung the crowbar, feeling it impact the post firmly, leaving a little dent.

"You can't leave your house, or your apartment, or even your fuckin' ghetto circus trailer unlocked without someone worrying about breaking into it and taking your shit."

She swung it again, harder this time, her voice a little louder, her aim a little less specific, but it still found the post.

"Hell, you can't even trust a man in uniform anymore, because he could be a fucking asshole who's lying about who he is and the fact that your Dad was hurt in the mother fucking war, in order to kidnap you, and experiment on you, and fuck up your whole mother fucking life, goddamnit!!"

With that, she swung the tire iron harder, over and over, smashing it into the post as hard as she could, until finally she hit it so hard she couldn't hold it anymore. It went flying out of her hands and hit the ground a few feet away as she collapsed to the ground with a little sob, covering her face with her hands.

[z-Wakiki Izumi]

Kidnapping? Experimentation? And these are the good guys? Wakiki was curious, but he was also, despite his own protests, not always dumb. Aradia was emotionally overwrought, and he did the only thing that he could in this situation; he knelt next to her and put his arms around her. He knew that she hadn’t been happy, but until now, he hadn’t realized just how unhappy.

He held her quietly until she calmed down, rubbing his hand on her back. Sadly, it reminded him of another crying woman, and his eyes shut sadly as he decided he had to offer this comfort way too often.

Click to reveal.. (flashback)

"I made a mistake," his sister said suddenly, and the helpless tone on her voice pulled him out of his slump on the bench. It was the night of her birthday party; she'd just turned twenty-one. The rest of the family was inside the house, their voices drifting outside to ring them in a happy miasma as she sat with him on their parent's porch.

"Liv?" he asked, his heart constricting for her. It was bad, he sensed. Really bad.

"I was afraid," she whispered. "Afraid of doing it alone, of having to explain why he or she wasn't like other children, why they didn't have a father." Tears trickled down her face as she sagged forward, pressing her hands to her face. Wakiki felt his own tears rise, and they weren't honestly all for his sister. "I was a coward."

He slid over to her and took her in his arms, holding her. "It'll be ok," he murmured, rubbing her back. He couldn't argue with her at her cowardice, but he wouldn't withhold comfort; she was his sister.

“It’ll be ok,” he murmured, just trying to be there for this girl. Sure, he was attracted to her, but this was more than that. She was a good person and he was tired of seeing good people in pain. At this moment, he would have given a lot to give her the answers she needed. But in the really-real world, all he had was strong arms and words that were probably lies.

[Aradia McConnell]

Her crying had been more trying not to cry than actually crying.. Aradia hadn't done a lot of actual crying in a long time. She'd learned early on that it just made it worse when her mother was around, and when you're not supposed to do something as a child, you're not very good at letting yourself do it as an adult. Finally though her tense, choked sobs drifted away and he could feel her relax in his arms. She stayed there for a long moment afterward. It felt nice, being held, and she realized that Wakiki was one of the few men she would have trusted enough to actually let do this. Eventually though she pulled back and looked up at him, and wiped away the tears from her cheeks impatiently.

"I'm sorry.. I didn't mean to.. you know. We were talking about Olivia. I dunno where that came from."

She leaned over, reaching for the bar, and then sat back up and held it back out to him. Her lips curved at one corner in a sheepish smile.

"Thanks. Guess I needed that."

[z-Wakiki Izumi]

"Glad I could help you out," Wakiki said softly, letting his hands settle at a new position - close enough to hug again, but not invasive. Her lean away from him revealed the long, lithe line of her body, and Wakiki had to edge away from her and hope the darkness was dark enough to keep her from seeing the kind of effect she had on him. Of course, she'd have to be blind to not know the kind of effect she had on him, and had for a while.

"Ari... I don't want to pry," he said, "but..." That had been a rage confession, and Wakiki decided at the last second not to mention it. It wasn't fair to take advantage of an excited utterance. That left him with a conversational gap to fill now. Frantically, he searched his brain for another topic, but there was only one other thing that came to mind. It wasn't something he was sure he wanted to discuss, but he had no options. Hoping she'd see the delay as hesitation rather than revision, he finished, "Are you seeing anyone? I mean... like seeing?"

I sound like a huge dork...

[Aradia McConnell]

Aradia blinked slightly, a startled look on her face at the change in subject. It seemed to take her a moment to really get what he was talking about. She felt her stomach flutter slightly, a feeling that she was utterly unused to and really only recalled feeling once or twice before, around Wakiki. Finally, her tongue brushed across her lips nervously, moistening them, before she spoke.

"Seeing..? No... why?"

It was probably the least number of words he'd ever heard her string together at once in more than a decade since he'd first met her.

[z-Wakiki Izumi]

Wakiki laughed self-consciously; clearly, he wasn't laughing at her. "Aradia, um, there's really only one reason a guy would care about that," he admitted, then scooted away from her and got to his feet. Offering her a hand, he added, "But don't worry about it, if it bothers you. It's cool."

[Aradia McConnell]

"Oh no, I didn't mean.. I mean, it doesn't bother me. I mean-"

She stopped, blushing a little, and took his proffered hand so he could help her up. Then she smiled a little self-consciously herself, and shook her head.

You don't see people.. not like that, girl. Do you?

"Let me try that again. No.. I'm not seeing anyone."

[z-Wakiki Izumi]

She was on her feet, but he still had her hand. "Ah," Wakiki said, and his tone could have meant any number of things, from approval to polite interest. "It occurred to me that I was pressing you for all the crazy stuff in your life and didn't ask about anything normal." Don't play it too cool.

"Plus," he added, feeling his nerves fray a bit, "you are incredibly pretty, and I find that admiring you is a lot more fun than dwelling on the other stuff we've talked about tonight."

He gave her one of his crooked grins. The playful mischief in his face was one-hundred and fifty percent Wakiki. He looked like the young man who had escorted her and his sister on a road-trip across the American Southwest.

[Aradia McConnell]

"I guess there's not a lot of normal to ask about."

She smiled a little wryly, but didn't pull her hand away from his either. In fact, she moved a step closer to him as he spoke.

"And I could use a change of topic. So.. if you're thinking about moving.. I guess that mean's you're not either, huh? You know.. seeing anyone."

It dawned on Wakiki at that point that if it were any girl other then Aradia, he'd think she was being shy. But being shy was something that was so foreign when he thought about Aradia that it had never crossed his mind up till this point. Still.. now that the idea was there, no other one seemed to fit. It was kind of endearing, in a puzzling sort of way.

[z-Wakiki Izumi]

"Oh, I see lots of women," he replied flippantly, "just usually not for more than a night." Immediately, he winced and added, "And I sound like an asshole. Look, all the girls I meet... they're kinda dumb. They're out to fuck a piece of fame, that's all. And yeah... I oblige." He shrugged, a kind of a 'what can you do gesture'.

He sighed. "I just never met a girl I connected with on any real level," he said. "I mean, I met plenty that were hot, or witty, but I never found anything interesting about them, not past a one-night stand. Or a three-night." He smiled, but it faded as his joke fell flat.

"So no, I'm not seeing anyone," he confessed. "And even if I were, she'd have to be willing to at least consider moving for something as important as this is. I mean, my family's important. I gave up a huge chuck of who I was, to side with Dad and Livy and Mom. So they're what I have left. And they're all I really have." He smiled, a bit sadly. "The queen of my heart will need to understand that." And I think you already do, Aradia, which is a good start.

[Aradia McConnell]

She nodded slightly, seeming to overlook his comments about his one night stands for the time being.

"Yeah, I get that. A lot of guys try to hit me up after a show, but.. they're scumbags, you know? The only reason they have a word to say to me is cause they figure if I can twist my legs around a trapeze I'll wanna twist 'em around something else, too. And once I make it clear I'm not interested, most of 'em are on to one of the other acrobats. The only reason I get the most attention is cause I'm the youngest. Sounds like a shitty thing to say, but it's true. My mom used to be that chick, you know? She slept with every sleazeball who looked her direction, I grew up with that shit. It wasn't for me."

She paused for a second, realizing she was probably saying too much, and changed the course of the conversation in a slightly safer direction.

"And the guys here - not that I've been around most of em very long - well, let's just say Yseult isn't the only knockout on base.. Kyria's even prettier than her. I shouldn't bitch though, at least I don't have to deal with it for once. I've never really met many guys I trusted, other than Dad, and Markie.. and you. Guess that's Jeanine's fault too, huh?"

[z-Wakiki Izumi]

Wakiki briefly considered how badly he wanted to get into Aradia's pants, or even see if there was more he was interested in more than just her pants. He knew that at this point, whatever he said, no matter how she really felt about it, could be used as an excuse to run away from him. What he was about to say wouldn't need much spin to insult her. Finally, he decided to just say it.

With as little rancor as he could manage, trying not to sound like a judgmental asshole, "Nah, that's more your fault." As she stared at him, shocked, he said, "Hon, no offense, but you let your mom tell you how men were. Sure you had some bad experiences, with those scumbags, but you had to have met more than three nice guys. If you don't trust people, you're not going to see things to trust in them."

He sighed, knowing that he was probably pissing her off with each word. "Your mom sucks, big time. She was a pretty shitty mom, and she sounds like she wasn't that great at being a happy, balanced person. I think that alone should show that you shouldn't let her experiences inform your reactions to life. I mean, you hate everything she stands for - why let her tell you what you stand for, even by juxtaposition?" He looked off into the dark. "I mean, I could be wrong, but with what I know, I don't think I am." He wanted for her to get mad and pull away - or maybe to see that even if she didn't agree with him, that he was just speaking out of concern.

[Aradia McConnell]

At first, her reaction was exactly what he assumed it would be. He saw her eyes flare up with anger, and felt her muscles tense under his arm. She pulled away a little at first, crossing her arms defensively. But as he spoke, her glare turned into a frown, which in turn became kind of thoughtful, if still a bit sulky. She was quiet for a few moments after he finished, her lips pressed together firmly. Finally, she glanced back up at him, still looking a little bit defensive, but not completely pissed.

"I just figured that if I didn't want to be a screw-up like she was, I had to live my life the opposite, you know? Like, life lessons and all that jazz? Learn from your parent's mistakes?"

She was quiet for another moment, but then she turned back and looked at him again, and her expression was half-annoyed and half-amused.

"You know, you're a great friend Waki, but you're a shitty flirt. How do you get all these girls in bed again, anyway? Isn't there some kind of three-date minimum before you start telling people how badly they're fucking things up?"

[z-Wakiki Izumi]

"Oh, do you want me to flirt with you?" Wakiki asked, breaking into a delighted grin. "See, the best thing to say at this point is that I don't want to treat you like other girls. I could never have pointed out anything negative to any of those other women - they would have broken down sobbing or stormed off without really hearing what I was saying.

"But you... I knew you," he said, stepping forward and resting his hands lightly on her hips, "would be smart enough to realize that I wasn't just being a jerk, and strong enough to look at yourself and know your own truth." He leaned in, and she thought he was going to kiss her. He did, kinda; his lips lightly touched the tip of her nose. "I could treat you like a groupie, but I'd rather treat you like a woman, Ari."

[Aradia McConnell]

Her breath hitched a little as he stepped closer, his personal space becoming hers, and his breath by her face as he spoke. Almost instinctively, her hand moved up as if she were going to push him away, but he felt it rest against his chest and stall there, fingertips lingering without any more movement. Her heartbeat began to pound in an odd, irregular rhythm that she was sure he had to be able to hear, but she tried to grasp at some semblance of wit, instead of coming off as one of his fawning groupies.

"See.. that's-uh.. that's.. that's a little better. Points for.. a.. a smooth delivery."

She drew in a breath, and it was shaky. So much for wittiness.

[z-Wakiki Izumi]

His grin somehow widened, which seemed impossible. "Tell you what, I'll hold off on any more evaluation of you until after our third date."

"We haven't had a first," she managed to say.

"I like to plan ahead," Wakiki told her mock-somberly, as if he knew that he could be guaranteed those dates. To be honest, he was a bit floored; he'd come out here to pry into his sister's life and was walking away with a date with a girl he'd been attracted to for a decade.

"So I'm picking you up tomorrow evening, say about eight?" His smirk was unrepentant, even though he was waiting for her to violently protest his assumption.

[Aradia McConnell]

The arrogant look on his face was finally enough to break through the haze a little, and her lips twitched with amusement.

"If you don't get me back to base soon, I'll be dead to the world tomorrow. You won't be taking me anywhere if I accidentally shoot myself in the foot during training at the firing range."

The thought of Aradia, standing there in her pretty white dress and purple scarf with streaks in her hair, accidentally clipping herself with an AK-47 was enough to get a laugh out of him.

How does she get away with streaking her hair like that in the military, anyway?

"C'mon, then.. we can't have that, can we?"

"I guess not. Eight will be fine. You'll have to meet me at the gate though, they won't let you on base without a guest pass."

Success!

[z-Wakiki Izumi]

"Yeah yeah... I geddit," Wakiki sighed with mock-sorrow. "I'm not part of your little military fun and games, so I'm banned from the mysterious promised land." His moue was so cute, Aradia trouble not giggling incessantly. Taking her arm, he guided her to the car, holding the door for her.

"If you need to get back, let's get you back," he said, smiling. He hadn't felt like this in a long time, this strange mix of hope and possibility. Of course, it had been a while since he had dated seriously. The loss of a constant stream of ladies would be sad for his ego, but he also liked the idea of something more steady. There was something satisfying in crooking his finger and drawing women to him; there was something pleasant in imagining having only one.

He needed to go job hunting tomorrow.