Aberrant: Dead Rising - Bartertown (complete)

[Venus]

[ooc: This happens during around 10am on May 12th]

Things were slowly back to normal at the Refuge. Most women had left Violet's choosing to live in the tent town rather than staying at a place that looked like a strip club. Violet couldn't blame them and her offer remained but the latest events were to overwhelming. Violet chose not to blame herself for this - it wasn't her fault anyway and if things had been better organised the club might have been turned into some kind of hotel before the raid. You always knew better afterwards...

Violet's thoughts were focused on something else, though. Dan had promised to make it up to her and she needed something to do, some kind of distraction until then. Reading the books Jasmine had collected for her Violet found some interesting passages about fertility rituals and pagan marriages. She studied the pages with growing curiousity until a plan formulated in her mind. Dan would surely love it!

The buxom succubus quickly got dressed choosing to put on Dan's oversized BDUs in order to not draw too much attention to herself. At least people could tell she was trying not the opposite. In her case that meant a lot. She got herself a backpack and headed towards the little "market" that had established itself in the tent town. People traded all kinds of stuff for something else they needed more. Violet didn't have much in possessions she could trade for - aside from the club and an abundancy of resources and clothes... well maybe she did have a lot to offer. The things she was looking for weren't amongst her vast resources so she had to find someone to trade it for her.

The tall seductress earned a lot of looks as she got closer to the tent town. As if someone of the upperclass had decided to pay a visit to the local slums. She never went to the tent town before, never needing anything and if she had required something James usually got it for her - sometimes Jill or Jo but they seldom went alone. Violet was quite sure she could physically fend off any would be attackers but it still was an odd feeling and she slowly doubted it was a good idea to go all on her own.

People were whispering as they saw her, some turned their faces away and shielded their childrens eyes from the inhuman beauty, others simply stared at her - some with admiration, most with lust. Things were slowly becoming uncomfortable and Violet slowly went backwards and wanted to flee when she bumped into a broad, yet familiar chest. For a moment she was confused and gasped as she recognised the man's face she just bumped into. James.

"James?... I... I...", she struggled for the right words but somehow she was relieved she found him... or that he'd found her. Violet quickly made a step closer to James seeking his protection as she took a deep breath and waited for his reaction...

[Courier]

Since he'd left (been kicked out of) Violet's James had slept in tent city. Despite his occasional grumble of the permanency of 'temporary' living arrangements, he thought it'd been good for him. Violet's was this massive, unhealthy, symbol of him and her together. If he was serious about convincing himself that he didn't want her back, moving out was the place to start. He didn't want to think about what his determined opposition said. Being separate from Jo was awkward, but one way or the other that would be temporary.

Walking around Tent town had a few other benefits too. He got to meet and talk to people he normally wouldn't. People thought it was amusing that he'd gotten kicked out of Violet's. Exposing him to more of the common man's condition was probably a good thing. Who knew, maybe when it came time for elections he'd put his hat in the ring. He didn't do much bartering. JoAnna enjoyed that a lot more than he did.

Walkabout also let him fully experience the world of smell. Humanity missed out there, although less than it realized. Like sight, most of what you found out was useless. He was really better off not knowing, what people had for breakfast or the last time they'd bathed. But every now and then something interesting came up. That 'man' over there was really a woman. And this smell meant, Violet was up wind, and close by. Maybe one or two tents over. Violet smelled of sex, which was normal, and of fear, which was not.

He should leave well enough alone. She didn't want his protection and couldn't be in danger here, except maybe from herself. James told himself he wasn't doing an imitation of a moth to her flame by checking up on her. Suddenly Violet reversed direction and they collided.

Quote:

"James?... I... I...", she struggled for the right words but somehow she was relieved she found him... or that he'd found her. Violet quickly made a step closer to James seeking his protection as she took a deep breath and waited for his reaction...

James had mixed emotions near Violet. He settled on concern and asked her, "Are you ok?"

[Venus]

Violet was glad that James didn't shove her away in an attempt to keep his distance to her. Instead he asked if she was ok - almost as if nothing had happened between the two of them.

"I... I guess I'm fine it's just... this place is a bit overwhelming for me. I've never been here before and all I wanted to do is make some purchases. I suppose it was a bad idea going alone. Would... would you be so kind and... help me out?", her voice sounded innocent and sweet. It was too easy to fall back into old habits. She even put one hand carefully on his arm making skin contact and thus breaching yet another barrier of privacy.

Her eyes were still locked with his and he could see the conflict she was going through. "We... never talked.", she quietly added.

[Courier]

For just a moment it was like just like old times. He was her shield against the big bad world. That was his job, his goal, and his purpose. And that was a dangerous, self destructive lie. He should turn and walk away, this was Dan's job now.

What would have done if you'd never been close to her? Would you walk if it were Jaz, or Myf, or anyone else asking for help? Being an ex doesn't mean you should treat her worse than everyone else.

James put his hand over Violet's and replied with something close to amusement, "You want me to loom and scare off the wolves?" Rumor will have us together again, but that's Dan's problem too. James crooked his arm so Violet could take it and continued, "Glad to."

Answering Violet's statement he said, "Yeah, we never did. We should." This is either a good idea or a bad one. Maybe both.

[Venus]

Violet took the offered arm just like in old times and walked a bit around the merchants area in tent town. For a while she dodged the topic not quite sure how to make a start.

James could tell that Violet was searching for very specific things, like candles, some herbs and a basket. They came to a halt where an old haggard man offered some chicken and hares which he kept in small stalls. Violet knelt down examining the animals and stroking some of them as if to evaluate their state of health.

"I... I don't actually know how to start this.", she finally spoke to James. "Maybe I should apologize first? I'm sorry for what happened and what I have done but... I saw no other way and I still feel it was the right decision, James. You've always been good to me...", she tried to explain but suddenly was at a loss of words. She looked up to him her eyes searching his' for understanding.

"James - I will always love you - you're always going to be part of me somehow. I suppose that's my curse because I can't forget how our souls touched. But we're... like fire and oil... sooner or later there would've been nothing left of us and everything around us would lay in ruins..."

[Courier]

James walked around with Violet and just waited patently. At her 'explanation' he snorted a little in obvious disbelief.

James weighed various comments then asked gently, "Violet, why isn't Jill enough? Why do you need Dan?"

[Venus]

There was a short moment of confusion on Violet's face and she slowly shook her head at James.

"Because... I mean isn't that obvious, James? Aside from my feelings for Dan I need a man at my side.", she broke off and shook her head again as she slowly released herself from James.

"Listen to me James - I said we should talk and not start some kind of blame-game. If all your interested in is to show me that I've hurt your feelings and pride - no need to. I know I did that. You can't hide your feelings from me.", the unearthly beauty sighed heavily and raised her arms in defense.

"I don't want to walk down that road, James. Can we handle this without hurting eachother?"

[Courier]

James replied, "Violet, this isn't about me, or my pride, or my hurt feelings. This isn't even about Dan. I've already had this conversation with Dan, we got through it without blaming each other."

"Looking back retrospectively, I don't see how this could have played out any differently. I'm not trying to hurt you, but I'd like for you to see the world through my eyes for a moment."

"So let me ask again, why Dan? Why him at all, and why him specifically?"

[Venus]

Why Dan?

Violet looked down and tried to find the right words. She nervously bit her lower lip and let out another sigh, "Because I fell in love with him, James. After what happened to you at that crazy Preacher's...", he could see she was starting to cry.

"You were dead, James. And I experienced it just like you did - I can't explain to you how terrified I was and each time I see you I still feel it - even now. I can't get rid of it and it was making me sick. It's like sleeping with death...", tears were flowing now and she failed to be brave this time. Recalling those moments were just too strong, too intensive...

[Courier]

James closed his eyes in regret, the memory of pain, and said softly, "V..."

...I'm sorry.

...You were there for me after that when I was blind.

...It was stupid. I didn't make the wrong move. C4 doesn't explode if you manhandle it. You can shoot it and it won't go up. They'd wired it so if a bird pecked on it wrong it'd blow up.

...I was stupid, Priest was right there, I could have asked him.

...Dan is Fox's point man.

...You fell for Dan before you left. I knew you'd say that.

"...V. Let's go somewhere. This is a little public."

[Venus]

She didn't put up much resistance as James carefully dodged them away and out of the tent town. It didn't take long and soon he led her to a tent and guided her inside.

"This is my place... for now.", his voice was still warm and carried some of the regret he felt.

Violet swallowed hard and calmed down. "I'm so sorry James... I didn't mean for any of this to happen but things got out of control... I really wanted this to work but then I forced it. I forced Jo to love me, I forced Jill to love... I even forced you to love me... I don't know how much of this is real or me manipulating everything. Back then I had no control - it was just pure desire and intuition. Once I realized what I've done I couldn't fix it anymore and Jo was slowly going crazy. She would've done something stupid if I hadn't left and I was the one who took you away from her - I destroyed your family, that's alone my fault because I'm selfish... I don't want that anymore and the only way was making a clean cut. Start over and don't repeat the mistakes I've made. It was then when I fell in love with Dan - during that time when I felt the doubts arise and recognised the damage I've done...", Violet wept quietly as she spoke. It was an odd experience - all the glamour and glitter was gone, he saw her raw and sober, down to the core.

[Courier]

James let Violet talk and cry and tried to provide what comfort he could without interrupting. Several things became apparent to him.

I do love her, and I want her back. With that as a goal, the way forward is obvious.

I seduce her, here & now. Screw her brains out. I want her and she wants me, I turn on the pheromones or however that works. Twenty people watched us go in, the screams would make it obvious what we're up to.

Dan either drops her or tries to kill me. Either works. He's a Marine, more skilled at killing, & a lot quicker than me, but it wouldn't make a difference. When you come right down to it he fixes cars and I juggle them.

I'd have to seriously apologize to JoAnna, but we'd already come up with something close to a workable solution and she'd be getting her sister back. That'd put us almost back to square one. I'd be getting Violet back. The only problem is...

The only problem is the most beautiful woman in the world is an emotional cripple who will sabotage our relationship again. Exactly like before.

:Sigh:

The only other choice is to try to cut away some of crap that Jennifer has built up and hope that when she gets her act together... No. Let's be realistic. If she ever gets her act together, then maybe we can get together again. But right here and right now, that's not going to happen.

James waited till Violet had recovered somewhat and reached into a cooler and got out a pair of cold Sprites and gave her one. He'd found the working refrigerator with them the day V had broken up with him, in a way this was continuing from then.

James debated how to start this then said softly, "Violet I love you, and I forgive you. Yes, you used your powers to make me and the girls love you, but I knew that at the time. I didn't care about it then and I don't care about it now. Love is more than an emotion, it's also a decision. I made my decisions, I'll live with them."

"But there are some things that need to be said. I'm not sure if you're ready, but you need to hear them anyway."

"Let's talk about Jo for a moment. A few days after she found herself with me all to herself, she and I had a heart to heart talk. We decided the only way our relationship can work was if we recruit other women to join us. She's looking forward to having some sisters again."

James paused to let that sink in and see how V was reacting.

[Venus]

Violet nodded at James thankful for his calm and warm words. She offered to talk and if she was serious about it she had to give him some space - some room to vent and explain his side of the story.

Then he mentioned JoAnna and Violet felt a knot forming in the pit of her stomach. "Jo?", her voice was faint and almost broken. She's the reason I did this in the first place... I saw how it made her sick, how she was drowning her feelings in alcohol...

"So you talked?", it was difficult for her to hide what she felt about this. There was a good deal of worry but also some repressed anger or frustration.

"Jo can't stand being number 2, James. She's ok with that arrangement as long as you are hers and she is your number one lover and not...", she didn't dare finish what was on her mind. This wasn't the right place nor time to call names or make accusations.

"I hope it's going to work out this time James, I really do for the both of you. You're both in my heart and you did... rescue me somehow but 'our' family arrangement wasn't working out and I'm the number one reason why.", her eyes looked passed him unfocused and dreamy. Violet had become even more beautiful and enticing since they broke up. Her breasts were clearly outlined by the tight fitting top she wore, her midriff was partially exposed and the military pants she wore hugged her hips smoothly showing off her bubbly ass. It was oh so tempting...

And that's not the end of the story, James... We must'nt be together ever. We'd destroy the refuge - the whole community would go nuts because of us and you..., her eyes suddenly focused again as she stared directly into his'

You're a good man but you're not good for me... You're feeding the part of me I'm trying to get under control - you're the drug I need to get away from or I'll never be free. There was so much on her mind, so much that remained unspoken but one thing was for sure, she seemed determined enough to resist his attempt to seduce her. That was a definite change, something he hadn't experienced or expected before.

[Courier]

James wondered, How does she make military clothes look like an X-rated outfit? Body English says she's playing hard to get... which for her probably means she'd take some small amount of convincing.

James closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Better. Not perfect but better. She still smells great...

James sat down and with his eyes still closed, looked away from Violet. He said neutrally and in what he hoped wasn't an accusatory voice, "Violet... I think this is where we're supposed to have a fight about what Jo wanted. She'd be offended to hear you did this for her, especially since you clearly didn't speak to her any more than you did me. For the record, Jo thought there were problems but they were deal-able. Worse, she thought we'd already dealt with them."

"But that's off topic. All the other reasons you've tossed out for leaving are also off topic. If we looked closely at them they wouldn't make much sense either. They're symptoms of what was going on, but they're not the root problem."

It's time.

James opened his eyes and turned back to face Violet. He said, "Let me tell you what I see. I see a beautiful, wonderful woman who is amazing in every way. You're lovely, loving, and lovable. I've told you that before, but even that is part of the problem."

James paused then said brutally, "There is no such person as Violet. She doesn't exist, there's only Jennifer. And Jennifer doesn't think she's pretty, or lovable, or deserving of love. Jennifer is also dis-associative." It's funny what you learn when you date a shrink... "Meaning she lies to herself about what's going on so she doesn't need to take responsibility."

James stood up and flexed a massive bicep, "Lets look at James. James is a big, brutal, power house super who has multiple live-in girlfriends. If you need someone for a dysfunctional relationship, someone who can emotionally and physically abuse a super strong woman, that'd be the guy to pick."

James stopped flexing and said seriously, "But that only works at first glance. James refused to abuse Jennifer. Worse, he refused to let Violet abuse Jennifer, and he fell in love with both of them. That's a serious problem and an untenable situation. So boom, you destroy the relationship and go looking for someone else... and find Dan."

"Who is also able to physically abuse Violet, and who is also living with another woman already. That's why Jill isn't enough, she's too safe. She's not a physical or emotional threat. Dan is though. That's also why Primal was so attractive."

"Dan is ice cold, so much so that he hasn't moved in with you yet. But eventually he'll fall in love with you too, and right after he convinces you, you'll walk away from that relationship too and go looking for someone else."

James ended his rant breathing hard. He'd said what needed to be said, but he wasn't sure why. Love? Something else?

[Venus]

James' words hit her like a truck - each sentence striking her and making her flinch as he kept telling one truth after the next. Violet felt like slipping away - she wanted to run, to flee and never look back but that wasn't possible.

No... no, please no. Not again... I mustn't!, she closed her eyes then shut her ears with her hands. "NO!", she screamed finally relieving herself from some of the pressure that was constricting her chest and making it hard to breath.

"James...", she quietly sobbed, "Please stop... stop... don't", she whimpered, almost begged. "Don't do this..."

He was right and so wrong on so many levels but it was impossible for her to put it into words. She looked up to him her eyes full of tears her face endlessly sad and yet beautiful like never before. Violet struggled to stay in control, she didn't want to change back to Jennifer. She somehow had to be strong enough to endure this and maybe she'd be stronger afterwards.

[Courier]

James finally looked away from Violet and let their words hang on the air. Great. You hurt her. Maybe as much as she hurt you. Was that what you wanted? ...no. This didn't feel good, not like fighting with Dan did. But someone had to do it.

James added quietly and tiredly, "Jennifer, you need help. You hear 'You're beautiful Violet' as 'Jennifer is ugly', and 'I love you Violet' as 'Jennifer is unlovable'. I don't know what to do and I don't trust my judgment. I'm too involved. I still love you. But I don't trust you not to wreck things because you feel that's what you deserve."

James sighed and closed his eyes again. God I'm tired. And outside the tent we have a crowd gathering? Female voice yelling 'no' and 'please stop'? Security will show up soon. Good for them, I think we've both had about enough.

[Venus]

James wasn't pushing it and the pressure slowly vented into nothingness leaving him and her exhausted and tired. They never really spoke about it and she never tried to "fix it" when there was still a chance to. What James didn't know was that she perceived things differently, especially since she could tell what someone felt about something even if he told you the exact opposite. People are liars... most of the time. They don't like to share what they truly feel, they keep a healthy distance to stay safe... even James was doing it right now. It wasn't important if it was a conscious decision or happening on a subconscious level - for Violet both was just as real and palpable.

Sobered up a little and relieved that she was regaining control of herself she looked up to James and nodded sadly, "I know, James... I'm trying to change but I can't... just turn a switch and it's ok. I want to be free of this one day... I really do but I can't do it with you. You represent so much of...", she sighed exhausted.

"I just can't... ok?", she hoped he accepted this even if he didn't understand or didn't want to understand but she couldn't give him more even if she still loved him.

[Courier]

James said quietly, "Jennifer..." James paused a long time.

Nothing left to say. This is goodbye, maybe for years, maybe forever. We might be friends but we're not going to be lovers.

"...take care. One request though. The break up hit Jo pretty hard too, so please don't say you did it for her. Her first words were, 'I thought things were going well. I thought we'd worked things out so that we could co-exist.'"

[Venus]

She lied, was her first thought but James probably didn't want to hear that and it wasn't really important right now. Violet swallowed hard but the knot in her throat was slowly dissolving, as did the pain.

"I... won't tell anything, James. Only that I'm sorry - I really am... could you... could you please take me back? Home?", Violet knew that word alone would hurt him but how else could she ask him? Right now she didn't feel like it was a good idea to go alone...

[Courier]

Home. Her home, not mine. Of course while it's a woman's shelter it's not Dan's either. But then Dan is only where I was a few months ago... and I'm not going back there again unless it's kicking and screaming. Sigh. I envy and pity him, but never again.

James finished his pop and replied, "Sure."

James and Violet walked out of his tent both looking like they'd just lost a child. The crowd around the tent was all male, their expectant look turned to disappointment and they melted away.