Aberrant: The Middle Children of History - Amends

[Bastion]

Grateful to be sitting in her over stuffed bed, Cassandra rubbed her feet gently, glad to be out of the uncomfortable heels she'd been hustling around the office in for the last thirteen hours. As the California Governor's personal assistant Cass found free time a thing of the past and long hours in business attire and uncomfortable shoes as common as her morning cup of coffee.

She set her earings in the small tray on her nightstand and took off her blazer and hung it up on the hanger she always left on the back of the bathroom door that connected to her bedroom. One thing was certain in her mind as the first couple buttons of her silk blouse came undone at a very wearied pace: this was going to be the most well deserved shower ever.

Fate conspired against the tired woman this evening and she stooped her head and groaned as the doorbell chimed through the halls of her home.

It chimed again as she hurried, as fast as she was capable this evening. "I'm coming, who is it?" She asked, a bit of the frustration becoming through in her inquiry.

"It's me." Was her answer in a confident and deep voice.

The reply stopped her in mid-stride. He'd not been here in weeks, nor even called to talk with her or anything. Her irritation rose to frustration and borderline anger, who did he think he was to just pop in unannounced? She looked from her front door to her large open living room and the patio that it connected to. A few months ago he'd trashed her house in a drunken stupor, flying through the window and smashing her furniture and closet doors with the impact.

She reached for the door handle to turn, stopping herself momentarily to fasten the buttons on her blouse back up. With a turn of the handle she opened the door and stared at her ex-lover.

Be firm. The only reason he'd be here is to borrow money, or crash for the night or try for a quickie for 'old times sake' before passing out in a drunken haze. He's not worth it Cass. These were the things she tried to tell herself every time she'd seen him during their fights while their rocky relationship could still be called a relationship.

"What?" She asked firmly, not giving him any time to start begging for cash or sex.

"Just came to talk," Bastion looked at her through his cheap Mack Tonights. "You have a few minutes?"

It was strange for her at first, there was something different about him, that was certain. He stood tall, spoke clearly, and actually used the doorbell for first time ever since she'd known him. Since she'd met him, nearly two years ago, Cassandra had never seen Sebastian Stone completely sober. Near-sober perhaps and able function in polite society with only minor faux-pas but she endured that in hopes he'd 'grow out' of it and break the chains of the depression that bound him to his liquor. The man who stood in her doorway this evening was a stranger she'd never seen before.

Flustered and a bit confused, she opened the door and invited him in. "Yeah, sure, but 'Bastian I've had a hard day and I'm not in the mood for any shit. I'm serious, no games."

"Naw, nothing like that. I'll make it as painless as possible. Promise." He paced a bit in the middle of the living room as she took up to leaning against the archway that separated her living room from her dining area.

He looks different. Her mind pondered as she waited for him to speak. He'd lost weight, a lot of weight as a matter of fact and had put on several pounds of muscle in it's place. He looked... good. Cass shook the thought out of her head, reminding herself that regardless of his new look he was still an asshole who was hell-bent on ruining everything he touched, including her life and career if she wasn't careful with him. "'Bastian, look, I'm a bit on the broke side right now, given home owners premiums and all for the repairs I had to make on the house, not to mention the cost of contractors for the things my Bastion Insurance didn't cover. If you're here for money, I can't help, I won't help. There is no you and I anymore, remember?"

"They did a good job," He smiled a bit, sort of embarrassed it seemed as he inspected the work. "Who was it? A+ Construction? They do pretty nice work, great with glass too, looks like their kinda..."

"Bastian, what do you want?!" She raised her voice slightly, enough to speak over him as he apparently seemed to stall for time. "We're not getting back together, so you can forget it if that's why you're here. I'm tired of the bullshit with you."

As she spoke he grew quiet, almost submissive as he let her speak her mind. Reaching into his back pocket he pulled out something and tossed it to her, deftly she caught it and looked at him quizzically.

"Seven-thousand three hundred and twenty six dollars." Bastion reached into his front pocket and a few coins jingled as the fell upon the glass coffee table. "And ninety-three cents."

"What?" She flipped the money over in her hand inspecting it, still thoroughly puzzled. "What's this for? The house? 'Bastian, I-"

"Ah..." He raised up a his palm to silence her, and held up a crumpled up sheet of notebook paper that had pen and pencil marks in every conceivable free area on it. "Lemme finish. That's all the rent money and other crap I borrowed from you while we were together. I kept a list, told ya I'd pay ya back."

"Bastian, I don't want your money, you need..."

"I need more than you, right?" He finished her sentence for her. "That what you were gonna say?"

She fell silent. Pity was the one thing that would set Sebastian off quicker than anything, and she really didn't need the drama tonight. "You don't owe me anything, okay? It's over, let's just leave it at that, alright?"

He shrugged, like he was tossing her words effortlessly off his shoulders, ignoring them. "Sorry, can't do that. Look, Cass, this is hard enough as it is, so bear with me, okay? I... I know that when it came to us, I sucked. As a boyfriend, as a man, and as a person you could place your trust and love into. I'm not here to ask for you back, that's not the plan I just have a lot of things I'm trying to sort through right right now and setting things right with you is one of them. I got a lot of bad karma to burn off, and hurting you is on the top of my list of stupid things."

She tried not to, but she blushed slightly anyway and let what little defenses she still had up falter slightly. She calmed a bit, deciding to hear what he'd come to say.

"I guess, what I want to say is," He looked from side to side, unsure how to utter words that a man as powerful as him had no place saying. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry?" Cassandra looked at him, honestly she wasn't sure what he was apologizing for. The house, the relationship, his behavior... the list was pretty long.

"Yeah. To put it simply Cass, I don't deserve you, I never did. You're kind, intelligent, beautiful, you have a future and a successful one at that. All I ever did was mess that up for you. You loved me, you gave me one hundred percent everyday and I took advantage of that. I treated you like garbage." His hands slipped into his pockets. "I wish that I could take it all back, ya know? Be a better man, a better boyfriend and all that, but I can't. It's done, just like we are. With all the time I've had to think lately, my thoughts kept coming back to you and how you never gave up on me. You tried to fix me, tried to help me when I was too weak to help myself and all you got out of it was deeper in debt and all your shit busted up."

He walked over the door, gripped the handle and slowly turned his head to face her. "I figured out during all the thinking, that I do love you. It wasn't something I could figure out before because I was drunk all the damn time, it takes a clear head to understand how precious something is to you now that you have go everyday with out it. I feel like that with you, everyday I regret the mistakes I made that cause me to lose you. I don't miss the booze all that much, so I guess I finally realize which was more important to me. Too little too late, I guess. Now, all I want more than anything Cassandra is for you to know that I'm sorry for the man I was, the damage I caused, and that all I want is for you to be happy. You're a great woman, and you deserve that, to be happy."

"I guess I'll see you around, good luck and all that and you know, if you need anything, like to talk or stuff like that, I'll be around." He moved through the door silently, the click of the latch broke Cassandra from her thoughts.

She had no idea what to say or what to do. He'd never spoke so clearly and so honestly to her ever, the sincerity behind each word choked her up a bit more. She was confused, if she remained firm then she might lose him, this new Sebastian Stone that actually seemed to be the man that she always knew he could be, but if she gave in and it was all a lie, then she'd be right back at square one. She didn't know what to do but one thing was certain: he couldn't just walk back in and expect everything to be okay. Before she knew it, he was gone. Just like that Sebastian was honest, sincere and everything she'd ever asked him to be if only for a few moments, and then he was gone.

He'd done what he came to do and as Sebastian coast silently through the chilled night breeze something deep inside tugged at his soul. An emptiness, a pang of loss and regret that he'd not felt before, it was humility. He'd made his mistakes and let the actions of his past speak for themselves. He didn't deserve her, not the way he'd acted and treated her, and the best thing for him was to simply step out of her life and let her forget him and the pain he'd caused.

He steeled himself with that thought as he soared into the California night.