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Aberrant: 200X - Vile Bill's Life Lesson's


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Okay, I'm going to lay some wisdom down for y'all because I noticed that we have two groups of folks here that are in need of my age and experience before they get too fucked up:

1. You youngsters that don't know what the fuck life is like yet.

2. You older but still scary ass naive sonsabitches.

So, a couple of bits I've picked up over the years.

  • Plea bargains are your friend.
  • Just because you heard that Spetsnatz can kick a Seal's ass and that Seal's can kick a Ranger's ass doesn't mean the Ranger is a pussy.
  • Don't be pointing a gun at no one if you aren't gonna shoot them. Three or four times.
  • You don't tell Crazy where you live. You don't tell Crazy your last name. And you don't take Crazy home to meet Momma. But you ALWAYS fuck Crazy.
  • Find your brand and stick to it. Makes for a better time.
  • You don't get a tattoo, cycle or gun cuz it's cool. These are fucking life choices.
  • First hour in jail or first day in prison you kick the shit out of some motherfucker.

That's it for now. Read and learn. Uncle Bill will be back with more.

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  • Leave virgins the fuck alone. It's never good.
  • If it's worth fighting for it's worth fighting dirty.
  • The cops ain't as smart as those CSI dudes but don't get lazy. Cover your ass.
  • Learn how to take care of your ride.
  • There's always folks that are smarter than you, tougher than you and prettier than you. Recognize this shit and cheat, it makes a difference.
  • Get a dog or a cat. It helps make sure you come home often enough to make sure your place don't burn down.

Remember, I'm just lookin at for your ass.

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • If you wanna win a fight you gotta kill their spirit or kill their body. If you don't it's just part one.
  • Getting high ain't necessarilly bad. But it may be bad for you. If you got a problem with the shit try something else.
  • That shit on porn? That's for show. When you chow bush you get in there and get the job done.
  • If you ride you wear enough leather for safety. More than that and you ain't ridin'. You're cruisin'.
  • You eat meat medium-rare or rare. More than that and you're pissing off the cow.
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Hey Bill,

I'm diggin your life lessons. Keep em coming.

Also, I'm young and I don't know much yet, but I have learned two things.

1) Words don't mean shit. Look at actions if you want to know what is really important to someone.

2) People always do what they WANT to do. If someone says something is the most important thing in the world to them... they will prove it through their actions, or they will prove themselves a liar, see rule #1.

PS. Bill if you would rather other folks not post in your life lessons let me know and I'll delete this post.

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  • 10 months later...
  • Unless you got some serious training the human body is hard as fuck to kill. All that Friday the 13th crap is bullshit.
  • Ain't no such thing as over-kill.
  • If you're gonna get shitfaced make sure you're with friends who know you can kick their ass.
  • Quiet chicks with glasses fuck like demons often enough it's worth the times you get slapped in the face.
  • Eat your fucking veggies.
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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 2 months later...
  • 3 weeks later...
  • If you make violence the first resord you usually get shit done quicker.
  • Ain't no shame in running away if yer outgunned. Gives you the chance to come back with more friends and bigger guns.
  • Always make sure she pops. The work you put in pays the fuck off.
  • Cheat in a fight and yer a winner. Cheat at cards and yer a piece of shit.
  • He who draws first don't win shit. He who hits first does. Improve your aim or use a shotgun.
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  • 1 month later...
  • If you're gonna steal you better be prepared to kick the shit out of the guy you're stealing from.
  • Finding a needle in a haystack is easy. Burn down the fucking haystack.
  • Black belts are all well and good but it took me an hour to learn how to shoot a gun right.
  • Flowers as a suprise are nice. Unless she knows your a cheating fuck. Then it's a confession.
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  • 5 months later...
  • Never trust a man who can't remember a pet he loved.
  • If you wear fur but look like you strangled the critter yourself ain't no one throwing blood on you.
  • You treat little girls with love and respect or you're a world class shit.
  • Always carry enough ammo so you don't worry about putting an extra shot in the skull.
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  • 1 year later...
  • Never piss off a lawyer and let him live. They can be no end of shit.
  • Them online games is fun and all that but go out in the real world, get drunk and punch a motherfucker once in awhile just to remember what its like.
  • The gun is loaded, that video camera is on, the cop is watching and no, she ain't on the pill. Always cover your ass.
  • If her bed is covered with stuffed animals you are either in for the time of your fucking life or she ain't gonna let you do shit. No in-between.
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