Aberrant: 2011 - Innocence (Mature)

[Libertyne]

Albert Einstein Hospital, Philadelphia, PA - 07/09/09 - 06:12 PM

It was just shy of a week that Brittany finally woke up. Doctors worked on her tirelessly for the first few days, sewing muscles, fusing bones, stitching organs. After an exhaustive battery of surgical procedures, they finished with a chaser of mox and morphine, they hoped enough to keep her sedated until her body recovered from the shock of trauma. There'd be no permanent damage, largely thanks to her nova physiology. The mutual consent was that if she wasn't, she'd be dead.

The slow, metronomic beeping of a heart monitor was the first thing she was conscious of. She'd dreamed over the last several days, dreamed deeply, of what she couldn't remember, but as her eyes first groggily stumbled open, she first had the unmistakable impression that she was waking up at home in Virginia, and that all that had happened between then and now was all a part of some distant, hazy dream.

Morphine was doing its part to cloud her senses, mercifully. As the foggy ghosts of her dreams seemed to fade into the distance, the memory of her life loped closer, and as her senses gathered into a cohesive picture, she remembered, dopily, that she wasn't just little Brit Brown, but LiberTeen, nova. She inhaled, remembering with the sort of childlike, blissful detachment only people on strong opiates know well.

She poked her head around, lying in place, with the sort of disinterested intrigue of a window shopper. Unflappably, she took note of the hospital bed, the light blue gown she was dressed in, the plain bureau with the plasic bouquet sitting on it. The shades were drawn, and dim light peeked out behind them. It was dusk or overcast.

"Oh, dear", she thought to herself, yawning with satisfaction. "I wonder why I'm here?" In fact, the events of her last moments of wakefulness had, for the time, vacated from her mind, and the events before it stretched on like ground that only became solid the further back one went, little islands of memory drowned in a sea of mnemonic static, all of which she regarded with blissful and uncaring ignorance. "Mmmm", she mused, nestling into her hospital bed. "Sure is comfy..." She yawned, and within a few moments, returned to a peaceful, natural, and wholly innocent slumber.

[Libertyne]

Albert Einstein Hospital, Philadelphia, PA - 07/11/09 - 02:04 PM

"How much do you remember, Brittany?"

Dr. Guildersmythe reclined in the plain chair that a nurse had dragged into her room a short while ago, scratching on her notepad thoughtfully.

Brittany had been awake off and on for a couple days. Her pain was still being regulated by lower, gradually-decreasing doses of morphine, though her attending physician told her that she'd probably be on vicodin by the end of the weekend. This was good news, since it meant she was healing. Vicodin is for pain management; generally it's an out-patient drug, which meant, hopefully, she'd be soon to leave.

She was still a little groggy - she had been since she woke up two days ago - but she could talk all right, though her thoughts were still all jumbled up. "Well...", she cautiously began, sitting upright in her bed. "I more or less remember everything up to about the beginning of the month, or at least, I think I do. After that...things start to unravel... I remember Cyn...and...finding out that she wanted to see me...here...on my birthday... But from there..." She shook her head slightly, and shrugged, only mildly concerned about the lapse in her memory, still medicated to the extent that the possible ramifications of that event and what circumstances could have lead to her hospitalization eluded her. "I guess that's about it." Asking what had actually transpired, too, was beyond her current state of mind.

"You've suffered a bit of a shock, Brittany." The psychiatrist adjusted her glasses, shuffling slightly in her seat, the tresses of her neat, black hair swaying slightly as they escaped her bun. "Aside from your physical injuries, you appear to have some post-traumatic stress. Your mind has closed off certain memories that it's having trouble dealing with. But I wouldn't worry." She smiled slightly, apologetically, and touched the back of the girl's hand. "In time, you should get most, if not all, of your memories from the missing period back." She sighed, leaving unsaid that she very well many not want those memories back, but she was relieved to see that Brittany wasn't pressing the issue. "For now, I recommend plenty of rest. Once your body is healed, we can work on your mind. Here", she pulled out a pocketbook and produced a slim, rigid business card. "This has my office and cellular numbers on it. I'll set you up with an appointment to visit me after your discharge, but if you have any further questions or concerns, please, don't hesitate to call."

Brittany nodded, taking the card in both hands, and looked at it intently, as if it held some hidden mystery. "Thank you, doctor", she replied rather plainly.

"Not at all", Dr. Guildersmythe smiled back, sincerely. As she stood up to leave, she found herself consulting the shades that were drawn over the glass doors to the girl's hospital room. They were closed, as they tended to be when a patient within was not under constant critical care. A lump formed in her throat. She had planned on being professional, of course. She tried. Oh, how she tried. But when she'd reached the hospital, she'd found her thoughts straying elsewhere, in spite of herself. Even with the bruises and bandages and dope-induced smile, the young girl was a goddess. So sweet, so sincere, so brave, and strong, and self-sacrificing, and... Dr. Guildersmythe caught her breath as she realized that, without realizing it, she had leaned in and started to kiss the young nova.

Startled, the doctor nearly pulled away, but to Brittany's muddled senses, the affection was wonderful, whatever form it came in. Her paper-braceleted hand reach up and gently stroked the older woman's cheek as they kissed. The psychiatrist had begun to lean towards the bed, threatening to lose control of all judgment, when her phone rang, chiming out Beethoven's 'Fur Elise'. She shook herself from stupor, with drawing from Brittany with the speed of a recoiling animal, eyes wide open in paniced shock. Fumbling, she reached for and answered her phone with a startled "H-hello..?!"

Dr. Guildersmythe - Pamela - curtly and hurriedly excused herself from the room, backing away sheepishly, stuttering as she attended to her phone call. "Er, have a good day, Ms. Brown. I look forward to hearing from you soon.", she sputtered, backing half out of the door, and with a final glance, covered the mouthpiece of her phone and half-whispered "Please, please, call me, if you need anything. Anything at all..." before backing out the door, closing it behind her.

"Gee", Brittany thought to herself. "People at this hospital sure are affectionate." She giggled to herself, still drugged enough to find nothing particularly odd about the fact that she'd been "shown affection" by every member of the staff she'd come into contact with, and flipped through a magazine that was carefully dated at least a couple of months and strategically left on her nightstand, happy as could be.

[Libertyne]

Albert Einstein Hospital, Philadelphia, PA - 07/13/09 - 11:50 AM

The last forty-eight hours were the trying ones, the ones that tested her spirit. Late Saturday afternoon, Dr. Katz, her attending physician, cut her morphine. She didn't need it, anymore, he was right about that. Now it was vicodin every eight hours, and as the opiates dissipated in her blood, the gelatinous state of her mind became solid, like a hand regaining the strength to grip and grab.

An orderly came in to bring her dinner the evening after they cut off her IV, and Brittany found herself grimacing with protest when he attemted to finger her under her gown. She'd understood almost instantly what was happening, and the events that lead up to it, and it saved the orderly a beating or a firing at least. Recollecting her thoughts from the last few days, she counted a number of minor sexual indiscretions with candy stripers, nurses, doctors... It was an easy enough formula: a beautiful girl - beautiful in a way that only novas can be - who's known for sexual adventure is put on opiates and surrounded by a group of baselines for whom barriers like sexual preference or rules of propriety become trifles in the face of her radiance, and what you end up with is...well, this. She sighed miserably as the orderly fumbled out of the room, fearful for his job and possibly his legal freedom. It was hard to get mad... It's not as if most of them could even help themselves. She filed through the scattered card catalog of her memories, trying to collect all the incidents that comprised her hospital stay. Mercifully, to her relief, she was confident she had remembered them all, and that thankfully, due to the nature of her injuries and the dressing they required and the rather public nature of her room, directly adjacent to the nurse's station, the depths of her drug-induced debauchery was some kissing, some groping, wandering hands. Stricly junior high stuff, she affirmed. Still, she wasn't thrilled about it. Hard to place blame, though.

The following morning, Sunday, she gathered the presence of mind to inquire as to why her room didn't have a television, radio, or much of anything, for that matter. The attending nurse - whom Brittany had to break the heart of, earlier that morning, by informing that she was no longer available for kisses on the cheek - told her, perhaps by mistake, the truth, which was that Dr. Katz and Dr. Guildersmythe had mutually agreed that having access to current media was not what was best for her recovery.

Angrily, she demanded - and after much argument, received - a laptop computer. To her horror and immediate regret, she quickly figured out exactly what had happened. And exactly why it was being kept from her.

[Dr. James Adler]

Albert Einstein Hospital, Philadelphia, PA - 07/13/09 - 3:15 PM

It was a sign of just how bad Brittany's shock had been that she didn't notice him come in, which considering the cane-assisted limp of the man was about as subtle as a gut-shot elephant if slightly more graceful By the time she did notice him, he'd settled into one of the visitor's chairs at the other end of her small hospital room and was examining her with piercing blue eyes and an almost bemused smile, his chin resting lightly on the head of his cane and his dark hair haphazardly brushed back from his face. He took in the hastily discarded laptop, her slightly swollen eyes, the crumpled weariness of her shoulders, and simply sat with her (displaying, in the process, a patience that would have stunned most of the people who knew him).

[Libertyne]

Brittany hadn't noticed the man come in, or when he sat down. It was only when boredom, frustration, and glimpses of motion in the periphery of her vision caused her to look in her direction that she saw him, at all. She found herself stifling a start when she finally noticed him, her eyes widening a bit with the in-rush of air into her lungs.

The man, gruff but smart-looking, looked at her oddly. For a moment, she expected to put up her walls of beleaguered acceptance of having to deal with yet another doctor, lawyer, or assorted professional trying to get into what passed for her pants. But she stopped herself. The way he looked at her was almost...kind? Whatever it was, he wasn't eying her like a piece of veal, and that was enough. "Can I help you?", she said quietly, not daring to actually look at him.

[Dr. James Adler]

"Actually, you already did." His lip twitched slightly, not quite a full smile, and his chin remained resting on his cane. He looked at her with mild curiosity, obviously aware of her beauty but just as obviously setting it aside. "You did a fairly impressive favor for a good friend of mine about a week ago. I stopped by to see if there was anything I could do to return the favor. Besides, I seem to be making a habit of psychologically cleaning up insanely attractive novas this year. I'm Doctor Adler, by the way. I'd say it's nice to meet you, but we'll have to see if you still think so in a few minutes."

[Libertyne]

"Oh! Kara!", she quickly connected the dots, her posture more upright, throwing her gaze in mild shock to the figure who sat affably in the chair, leaning on his cane, semi-smiling impishly. "Of course! Forgive me, Dr. Adler." She permitted herself a long, happy laugh, and her body came more alive from where she sat, animated, as if a dam had broken inside her. She finished her laugh with a long, contented sigh.

"I've dealt with nothing but baseline hospital staff ever since I woke up, and I could count the ones that didn't make some kind of pass at me on one amputated hand. I'm sorry, I mean, if I seemed a little cold when you first came in." Relaxing somewhat, her gaze softened. "I, uh...I'm glad to see a familiar face, even if it's only by a degree of separation. What you did for Kara was nothing short of the apex of modern medical procedure. She owes you much."

[Dr. James Adler]

"I spent a month treating Kara. Not to put too fine a point on it, but I have some idea just how awkward being sex on legs must be for you around here." His smile widened slightly, but he made a slightly dismissive gesture. "Most of it, she did herself. Quite literally, in fact. What you did, on the other hand..." His blue eyes turned ever so slightly cold, and some of the smile slipped from his face. "You're going to get some heat for it, Brit, but I wanted to thank you. On Kara's behalf, and mine. The world's better without that woman in it."

[Libertyne]

"I believe you", her face creased into an uneasy frown. "I mean, speaking rationally, Cyn was...was like a mad dog. Some people...some people can be helped, but Cyn..." She sighed, her eyes becoming dark and downcast. "When we were fighting, I could...I don't know, sort of feel inside her, feel what she felt. It isn't exactly worth anything to anybody but me, but..." She sighed again, her voice low and gravely, as if bile was pooling in the back of her throat, and turned to look at James again. "There was no saving her."

Sinking in her bed, she turned back to nothing in particular, fidgeting with her thumbnail, and quieted somewhat. "That doesn't mean I feel good about being the one to do it. Or that I'm not guilty about the fact that I didn't do it sooner. I mean...think of everyone I could have saved if I'd just done it months ago. I feel like someone trapped in a pyramid scheme, where you just keep paying and paying with some hope of getting something out of it, and after a while, you've paid in so much that you tell yourself you can't quit, you can't cut your losses, because think of everything you've put in already, right! And now...now I've done just that, and I'm looking back on all the time I wasted...all the people I could have saved. So either I get to beat myself up over being a killer...or I get to beat myself up for not being a killer soon enough."

[Dr. James Adler]

"Or you can accept that that would have been a hell of a lot to ask of the girl you used to be a few months ago." Adler shook his head, tone scalpel-sharp with his usual brutal frankness. "You were a good kid, Brittany, but you were a kid. Expecting yourself to have killed her on sight is just self-flagellation." He paused, voice softening slightly. "You're not a kid anymore, so you're going to have to live with everything that means, but lay off a little already. You did the only thing you could do, the only way you knew how to do it. Everything else is just hindsight bitching."

[z-Kara]

A light tap on the door cut into the conversation, and Kara poked her head into the room. "Hi, Liberteen," she said, smiling and giving a little wave. A large basket, decorated with ribbon and lace, poked forward into the room. "Feel like company?"

Then her murky brown* eyes caught sight of the man in the chair, and a brilliant smile crossed her face. "James! What a pleasant surprise!" Entering the room, she gave him a kiss on the cheek and an one-armed hug.

Setting the basket down, she looked back toward the door. "I can come back in a moment, if you guys need some time," she offered, smiling sincerely. She pointed down at the basket, decorated in red, white and blue trimmings. "Though you can break into your gift now - I brought chocolate, dried fruit, nuts and some things to occupy your time."

*They are still healing; rather like a cat, Kara's eyes had so much trauma they shifted colors. Her regeneration will heal that 'damage' in time.

[Dr. James Adler]

"Kara, the day I deprive myself or anyone else of your charming company is the day I hang up my stethoscope and declare myself a monk." Adler half-rose to return her hug and kissed her forehead in a fashion that might have been mistaken for fatherly if one missed the playful pinch he gave her ass in the process. "I was just telling Brittany that she did both of us a great favor and I wanted to pass along my thanks for her reducing the workload of my particular body and fender shop." He settled back in the chair, looking Kara over with just the hint of a boyish grin. "Though I must say, dear, I do excellent work."

[z-Kara]

Kara accepted the kiss and the pinch easily; the only sign that she accepted the kiss with anything other than platonic affection was a slight lean, pressing a little more of her body against the good doctor than was necessary. "Well, I think that I did most of the work," Kara said easily as she let Dr. Adler sink back into his chair.

Moving to the other free chair, she sat down and crossed her legs, smoothing down the short skirt. "And yes, Liberteen, I do owe you thanks. You've helped me, just by doing what you did," Kara said softly. "I've had... trouble since the attack; I feel better now that I know she's dead. I can leave my house now, without fear."

Realizing what she'd said, Kara met Dr. Adler's disapproving glance with a lifted chin and a steady gaze. "It's not easy, but I am trying." She looked at Liberteen. "How are you doing, sugar?"

[Libertyne]

It was hard for Brittany to feel what she should feel. What she should have felt, what she would have felt if they were normal people under more normal circumstances, would be humility. Humility and gratitude. They were right. They were both right. But sometimes being right just doesn't feel the way it ought to, and the casts around her left arm and knee made it awfully difficult for the truth to feel as good as it should.

On the other hand, it seemed awfully easy to feel good with Kara around. From the moment she walked in the door, Brittany felt a little flushed, and just the teensiest bit better all around. She blushed, and demurred a bit to the beautiful woman approaching her, who looked no less fantastic for her still somewhat battered condition. "I'm doing okay...thanks, Kara...", she tried to be cheerful, "And please, you can call me Brittany, or Brit. I...um...I'm happy to finally get a chance to really meet you...I know we saw each other at the Blackburne, but we didn't really talk. I wish it was under better circumstances, but..." She gulped, and paused. She was rapidly becoming aware of what other people dealt with around her.

"I also..." She looked at the basket, sitting precociously in her lap, and started to feel something else. Kara had come to visit her. Just showed up, just like that. She hadn't done that for Kara. She was terrified. Terrified of what Cyn would do. What might happen if she found them both in the same place. It didn't make her feel any better about it. She swallowed guilt like a bowling ball, and her eyes became misty. "Thank you...", she started to gently sob. "You...you didn't have to come here... I'm s-so sorry...I d-didn't come to see you...I...I was so afraid...I didn't think I could..." Tears burst from her eyes as she began to sputter with wracked sobs. "I'm so sorry, Kara..."

[z-Kara]

The elegant porn star stood up quickly and marched to the bed; she'd slipped her heels off and she made almost no noise as she moved to Brittany's side and sat on the side of the bed. Long, dark arms wrapped around the sobbing nova, and Kara pulled her gently into a consoling hug, murmuring, "Hush, pitit, hush. I understand. And I did have to come here."

Tears threatened Kara's eyes as well as she hugged the blonde girl a little tighter. "I had to come because I had to tell you 'thank you.' And I'm not upset that you didn't come see me - if you hadn't killed or captured Cyn, I would still be standing in my house, hand on my door knob, trying to leave.

"Besides, dou dou, I didn't want people to see me," Kara added comfortingly. "Ask James - I forbid as many people as possible from seeing me. Even my family. I told them I'd see them when I was better." Crap, wait... that means that I need to go see them now. Damnit!

Kara pushed that away, turning it into a worry for another day. Hoping that her words were adequate to the task of comforting the sobbing nova, Kara glanced up at Dr. Alder as the first of her tears freed themselves, rolling down her face. Was I this much trouble for you? she wondered as she laid her cheek on top of LiberTeen's head. She wasn't really expecting an answer, truthfully. In part, she didn't think he was listening to her thoughts right now, and she was also pretty sure the doctor was more than a little distracted by the vista in front of him. It wasn't every day that he got to see two super-beautiful nova woman hugging each other. It must have looked like the opening scene to a particularly lovely porn.

[Dr. James Adler]

If my heart explodes in a minute or so, I'm going to die a happy man. Putting the entirely NC-17 train of thought that was threatening to derail all of his cognitive functions as far out of his mind as possible, Adler met Kara's eyes with just the a slight nod. He didn't reach for her mind, but he hardly needed to at the moment; the thought was written all over her face, and his answer needed no words or telepathy to come across: his slight smile was more than sufficent. You were every bit that much trouble, Kara, and I didn't mind a bit. Other the cramps in my right hand, of course.

It was a sweet and comforting expression, all things considered, and if he was keeping his mouth shut in the hopes that Liberteen would forget he was there and avail herself of a more direct form of comfort... well, he was only a man, after all. Nobody was going to nominate him for sainthood any time soon.

[Libertyne]

Brittany's arms slid around Kara's midsection nearly the instant she got within reach. She couldn't have possibly been more relieved that Kara had come closer and embraced her. Her body was warm and strong against her own, and infinitely comforting. She was offering the girl something that nobody else could, and that was the shared grief of a mutual experience, and the absolution of some tangible good that had come from what she had done. LiberTeen's tears rolled down Kara's midsection like little diamonds. She almost found herself apologizing, but as Kara spoke, she, too, felt a series of delicate tears cascading off Kara's chin and onto her cheek below, and knew that an apology wasn't necessary. She squeezed the other woman tighter, nuzzling her cheek into the warmth of her body, and whispered "Thank you..."

Momentarily having forgotten Dr. Adler's presence, Brittany just held Kara for a moment, feeling healed in small doses just from the contact. She struggled to sit up higher in her bed and let go, her tears finally subsiding. She smiled sadly up at Kara, who reflected the same expression down at her. Brittany reached a hand up to the beautiful woman's face, closed her eyes, and, feeling no resistance, leaned in and gave her a single, long, kiss, a gesture more of gratitude and affection than anything sexual. "Thank you", she whispered again as their lips parted.

Brittany sighed and sat up in her bed, consciously resting one hand on Kara's in the hope that she would stay by her side just a few moments more. She gulped down a breath, still shivering slightly from her teary outburst, and smiled weakly to her two visitors. "Thank you both...for coming. I...I think I'm gonna be okay. In time. I think I really needed to hear what both of you had to say."

[z-Kara]

"That is normal," Kara said, reaching out to tuck a strand of errant blonde hair behind Brittany's ear. "And so is trying racking your brain to make sure you did the right thing. I... had a chance to fight Cyn. She told me I'd live if I didn't fight her." Kara's voice grew thick with emotion, trembling slightly as she spoke. "I still wonder if I shouldn't have fought. There was no good way for me out of the room."

She flashed back for a moment, to that room of light and cameras and pain. "I never knew why," Kara murmured, then shook the moment off, shoving it far back in her mind. "The important thing, Brittany, is that we're alive, right Dr. Alder?" She smiled at the doctor, a sweet curve of lip rather than a playful smirk like he usually saw from her.

[Dr. James Adler]

"I'd say that any day you two young ladies are still upright and breathing and that immeasurable bitch isn't goes into my books as a success." For once, there wasn't an ounce of playfulness in his voice. Hippocratic oath be damned, some people were just better off dead. Adler shook off the thought and met Kara's smile with his own, voice softening and regaining some of its good humor. "Not to mention that the two of you have the opportunity to completely rethink your lives, which I strongly encourage you both to thoroughly waste. I find life-changing crises of conscience to be entirely overrated, personally."

Easing himself to his feet with his cane and doing his best not to display his... baser enjoyment of the moment more obviously than he already was, Adler limped over to the bed and reached down to give Brittany's shoulder an awkwardly chaste squeeze. "In any event, you're a decent young woman with, if you'll pardon my metaphor, massive brass balls. You'll do just fine."

[Libertyne]

"Thank you", Brittany smiled sincerely, giggling somewhat at the doctor's rather curious and altogether welcome version of bedside manner. "You've been a big help, doctor. I really appreciate you coming down to see me." Leaning into him, she braced her hand on the forearm of his good side and gave him a gentle but meaningful kiss on the cheek. "I don't know where you get your reputation as a bastard, sir." She smirked, and drew away. It appeared the good doctor was going to be making his exit presently, but there was something she wanted to ask Kara before they both left.

"Kara", she turned to the woman, resting her hand on the woman's upper arm. "Would you mind staying behind a moment? There's something I wanted to ask you."

[Dr. James Adler]

"When you get well, you should come by my hospital some time. I have all sorts of fun infectious disease cases you could cheer up, assuming they don't have severe erectile pain." Adler's eyes sparkled down at her for a moment before he gave Kara a lingering glance, a smile, and then made a surprisingly gracious exit considering the awkwardness of his limp.

Not that he went far, of course. Some things are just too interesting not to overhear, even if one does so from twenty feet away while studiously contemplating a selection of vending machine sweets.

[Libertyne]

"I'll do that!", Brittany cheerfully called after the doctor as he made his faux-graceful exit from the room, and she quite meant it.

Believing the doctor to be safely out of earshot - or perhaps simply deeming that the illusion of privacy establshed enough propriety to speak freely - Brittany turned to the bronzed goddess still sitting aside her bed, and smiled a deliberately doe-eyed, little-girl-lost sort of smile, being careful as to not pour it on too thick. "Kara", she began, reaching an arm out to the beautiful nova, stroking the woman's side with her fingertip. "I'm sorry if this is forward. I know we haven't really spoken a whole lot in the past, but I've enjoyed seeing you, and I was just wondering if, when you have a little free time, you might like to get together sometime for lunch, or to watch a movie, and if you feel up to it, maybe have sex."

She smiled a tiny bit and stifled a giggle. "I'm not usually this direct, but I didn't think I'd shock you, and I don't want to be taken under false pretenses. You seem really fun, and sweet, and I just hoped maybe we could hang out as friends and maybe have a little sex, too. And if not, that's okay, too. I'd still like to go have lunch." She beamed up at Kara warmly, sincerely, and without a hint of pretension or jest.

[Dr. James Adler]

There may, in fact, be a God. Adler's wide, impish grin left one of the orderlies in the hall wondering what in the hell could be so amusing about a Snickers bar. Now, I wonder what a good nova PI and recording equipment would cost me...

[z-Kara]

Kara could not have been any more startled if Brittany's skull had split, and a full-grown woman leaped from it. It wasn't that she hadn't considered the achingly beautiful blonde as a sexual - and extremely fuckable - creature; it was that the woman was in a hospital, days after having been put there by a psychopath. After her run-in with Cyn, Kara had not felt like having sex with anyone at all. But Kara had to admit, there was one huge difference between their encounters with Cyn; Kara had been a victim, while Brittany had been a victor.

There was a flash of irritation, quickly smothered and followed by a hot wave of panic. Kara fought it down; hating that she felt this way. Brittany was someone she had considered an associate, and even a friend, albeit a long-distance one; she'd enjoyed knowing that there was someone she could talk to who wouldn't judge her as a porn star. And now she wanted to complicate the relationship with sex.

Kara kept her affections and her sexual partners very separate in the past, or at least she had since her first boyfriend had left her high and dry in Miami, broke and in trouble. She was very aware of the connection between that event and her decision, but she couldn't shake the fear she felt when a sexual relationship turned romantic. And sex with friends changed to romance faster than just relationships that started with 'just sex.'

But Brittany was a hard woman to say no to.

"Ah'm incredibly flattered, sugar," Kara assured the younger woman as her accent thickened, becoming obvious. "But Ah've not recovered. From Cyn, Ah mean. Ah look fine, on the outside, but Ah still have nightmares. Ah've had trouble being in front of cameras again. Ah... Ah'm gettin' better, but..." Kara trailed off, and she shook the rest of her mood away. "But Ah would be happy to meet for lunch. But sex may be... too much, right now." She tilted her head and smiled at Brittany before reaching out and squeezing her arm. "Is that oh-kay?"

[Libertyne]

"Of course!" Brittany smiled a little apologetically, trying to convey that she was genuinely understanding without trying do disingenuously mask the fact that she was (naturally) a little disappointed. Like seemingly many other novas, Kara had a grace and beauty to her that was altogether inhuman, and in her case, it was in the most appealing way. Namely, the kind that fuels the fifty billion dollar per year adult entertainment industry. It was natural to be disappointed that someone of that caliber wasn't entirely receptive to your advances, but Brittany could hardly be upset. She turned down people all the time, after all.

"No, really. I understand. It's okay, Kara. I'm sorry if I put you in a weird place, there." Caramel was probably telling the truth about Cyn, she gauged, but she'd been on the giving and receiving end of rejection (mostly the former, and mostly the latter prior to her eruption) enough times to read between the lines. She reached out and patted Kara's hand and nodded a bit sheepishly. "Sorry. Really. I still very much want to be friends." She let loose a nervy little chuckle, adding "When one of the most beautiful women in the world comes to call, you can't blame a girl for trying, huh?"

[z-Kara]

"No, and Ah- I don't blame you for trying," Kara said, smiling. "Were circumstances different, I'd be intensely flattered. But... I need more time to adjust. When Ah-I was blinded, and without parts," Kara paused to swallow hard. This was still hard to talk about, but the therapist said it would help. "At that time, Ah was often alone - in mah own mind, in mah self-pity and in mah own body. Ah was passive - Ah could hear, but not see or talk or even wiggle my fingers. Ah got used to being alone, something Ah'd never really been before."

Kara laughed softly. "If it ha'n't been for Dr. Alder, Ah might have just crawled into a hole and stayed there. He made me get out of bed, and he let me talk, something that no one else could do. He prob'ly saved me from mahself." She stroked the beautiful golden hair on Brittany's head, her eyes distant, her smile soft. "He really is a wonderful doctor. We're lucky we had, or in your case, have 'im."

Kara slipped a hand under LiberTeen's chin, turning the young woman's face up to her waiting lips. This kiss was definitely far less chaste than the one LiberTeen had given her, but it had its own measure of tenderness. "Ah'm not closin' the door," Kara murmured when she lifted her head. "Ah'm all messed up, and Ah gotta fix it, sugha."

[Libertyne]

Brittany felt kind of monstrous. Kara was pouring out her soul to her, and here she was, having to try very hard not to think of sex. As Kara continued speaking, though, it became less hard to focus on, as in her own mind, she started to think about Cyn again, and what she'd gone through, what Kara had gone through. She remembered the stills she saw from the video and cringed. Kara was more than understanding; and she was right. Brittany realized there were plenty of reasons for their differing attitudes: she'd won, for starters. Not being a mutilation victim counts for a lot.

And maybe, she realized, maybe she was just trying to get her mind off of the elephant in the room. She certainly wasn't expecting Kara to climb into her hospital bed and make love to her right that second, but the promise of such things to come would have been a magnificent distraction in the way of not having to resolve the sick sadness she felt growling inside her. In truth, Kara had probably given her just the response she needed.

She pondered this, listening to Kara's careful, difficult words. She was right. About everything. And at the end of the day, both of them were very lucky. Not just for Dr. Adler - though he counted for so much, and in Kara's case, quite possibly everything - but that through it all, they were both alive and healthy, and recovering. And Cyn...Cyn wouldn't hurt either of them, or anybody else, anymore.

Kara reached for her lips and pressed them to her own, and it was warm, raptuous, sweet. Silently, Brittany begged for it to never stop. She didn't know whether Kara had meant it as such, but in her current state of mind, that kiss reflected an almost epiphanous moment of understanding, affection, and care. She nearly started to cry again.

Their lips parted. "Ah'm not closin' the door," Kara murmured when she lifted her head. "Ah'm all messed up, and Ah gotta fix it, sugha."

Brittany nodded, smiling a little weakly, blushing furiously. "I think I've got more fixing to do than I want to believe", she softly replied. Then, smiling, she sniffled, and added, "Thanks, Kara." She nuzzled the woman's arm with her cheek slightly. "You've really...really helped. A lot. Thank you."

[z-Kara]

"Ah think we have both helped," Kara whispered, burying her nose in Brittany's hair and breathing in the smell of her hair. She smelled surprisingly fresh, but Kara realized that she shouldn't be surprised; the young woman was very much on the mend and had the energy to care of herself. "Ah do feel better."

And it was true; something in herself felt mended by this visit, as if another broken bone or ripped muscle had finally healed itself after festering so long. It was a ease of pain, that last sigh of relief as the pins and needles stopped biting skin, and Kara smiled as she felt that pain ease inside of her.

Kara resituationed herself on the bed so that she could lay next to Brittany. Holding her in an embrace that was half-comforting, half-erotic, Kara cuddled with the sexual advocator, and let the conversation drift to smaller things, easier topics to talk about than Cyn or the damage she had done. She continued to try to be as normal as possible for the remainder of her visit, hoping that there was healing in normalicy, just as there was healing in speaking of the issue. Finally, Kara sighed and said, "I think I need to go, sugar. You need your rest, and I... have work to do."

[Libertyne]

"I know", Brittany nodded somewhat sadly. Kara simply being there was doing so much for her, and she was nearly devastated to see her go, but it was true. Brittany had some things she needed to sort out, the same as Kara. She'd been a dear to stay as long as she had, even though it seemed like she'd needed this as much as Brittany had. The two women kissed one last time, and lethargically, Kara stood up as Brittany scooted herself to a sitting position in her bed.

They shared quiet, bittersweet goodbyes, and Kara left, each woman catching her reflection in the other one last time before they disapppeared.

[Dr. James Adler]

The door clicked closed almost softly, sealing the distance between Kara and the proud, wounded woman inside, and she had a single moment to compose her thoughts. Exactly a single moment, it turned out, since the man leaning against the snack machine and dangling a half-eaten Snickers bar from his fingers gave her just that long before he interrupted them. "I suppose I should say something about the therapeutic value of connecting with another person, but..." James Alder could put quite a leer in his voice when he wanted to, which at the moment he did. The wicked mischief didn't quite reach his eyes, but for the moment he seemed more than willing to keep up the threadbare pretense of lechery between them. It was... easier, somehow.

[z-Kara]

The door finally broke that intense contact as Kara closed it. With a deep sigh, Kara leaned against the door to LiberTeen's room and struggled to rebuild her composure, something that was far harder than it used to be. And the thoughts raging in her mind didn't help: visuals of the sexual feast she'd left behind and turned down, even temporarily, followed her. It was like a web had been wrapped around her, and Kara could feel it drawing her back.

Until Dr. Alder spoke.

(Continued in Pretense)

[Robert J. Lambert]

Paying the Cab fare, running up the stairs to the hospital entrance and hitting the elevato button. Robert had been waiting all day on the hotel, for the call from the Hospital, Brittany was finally awake from her chemical induced Coma.

Waiting for the elevator was for fools, taking to the stairs Robert ran all the way to Brittany's private room. Finding himself a bit winded he rested himself against a small column for a couple of minutes. Already waited this long, I'm guessing a pair of minutes won't be too much more to bear.

Walking the rest of the way, he slid open the door to Brittanys room, caught her in the middle of watching an OpMovie in the laptop.

"Hey Sleeping Beuty, decided to join the rest of the waking world?"

[Libertyne]

"Robby!", she squealed as soon as she recognized his lumbering bulk crowd the doorway. Kara and Dr. Adler had only been gone for a couple of hours, leaving her a lot to think about, none of which she had. Instead, she'd turned on the Cartoon Channel and sat upright in her bed, trying to be distracted, trying to keep her eyes on the incandescent screen in front of her and not on the roomful of flowers and cards and stuffed animals, the Purple Heart reminders of her deadly battle.

But now Robert was here, and mercifully, she was distracted. She didn't think he'd be here so quickly. Had he been in Philadelphia long? Had he been waiting for her to wake up? He probably had... She found herself stifling a sniffle as he lunged forward to embrace her, her arms wrapping around his trunklike body. "You big, sweet dummy", she choked as she squeezed him with all her kitten-weak might, and whispered, raggedly, "I missed you."

[Robert J. Lambert]

Robert embraced LiberTeen, minding her I.V. and any bandaged areas, he carefully embraced her like if she were a crystal figurine.

"I missed you too blondy" Robert found her lips and met them with his, feeling a lot of his anxiety melt away with it.

"I'm still angry at you, why didn't you told me what you were going to do?" Robert asked severily, but in no moment did he stopped hugging Britt with all the warmth of those who pine for somebody.

[Libertyne]

"She said to come alone", the goddess peeped out over a torrent of new tears. She sat limply for a moment, feeling rotten, letting Robert hug her, not feeling worthy enough to hug him back, and then, unable to force herself not to, her arms found his timber-like body, and she pulled him close, crying. He was right, of course. He deserved more than an explanation, and he'd be right to leave her entirely for what she'd done. If he'd done something like this, she...well, she didn't know what she'd do. If their roles were reversed, she'd probably just feel relieved, and she knew that's probably how Robby felt, now. It didn't stop her from feeling like crap.

"I'm sorry, Robby", she sobbed, squeezing his body into her. "I... I was so afraid. She said to come alone, I didn't want you to get hurt, and I knowIjustknowthatifyou'dcomeshewouldhavetriedtohurtyoutohurtmeandohgodI-

justcouldn'thavetaken thatohRobbyI'msosorryI..." Words tumbled out of her mouth without pauses, choking, as if releasing breath held for too long, until finally they trailed off into muted tears, and purposely, she rubbed the pale porcelain of her cheek against the rough stubble on his. "I missed you", she whispered. "I'm so sorry I didn't tell you before."

[Robert J. Lambert]

Robert held her strongly against his body, his arms around her encircling her waist and keeping her in place.

"I'm sorry for being so useless...You wouldn't have had to protect me if I was stronger." Robert held the delicate and petit girl between his arms, knowing that her small frame hid a fierce person.

"But...that's in the past right? Cyn is gone and we...we can go to New Paltz, start anew there. Just...leave this behind us." warm tears rolled down Robert's eyes, slowly but surely, because he knew both of them had lost something that could be never given back. "We can start over, can't we?"

[Libertyne]

She smiled softly as if in response, squeezing him in her arms. "Start over? Oh, Robby...it's okay. We don't have to start over. We can just keep going. What happened with Cyn..." She paused and sighed, getting her bearings, and waited to see if the same feeling of stark terror and grief that name had accompanied since she woke up was still there, and found it diminishing, or at least blunted. "What happened with Cyn is something I'm going to have to deal with, in time. But...I got some good advice. And I think I'm going to be okay."

She patted him, kissing his neck and ear gently a couple times, brushing her face in the scruff of his hair. "You're not useless, Robby. You're here for me, right when I need you. There was nothing you could have done. Nothing anybody could have done, probably. I did what I had to. What I could. And...hey." She cupped his face in his hands, looking him in the eyes intently. "You listen to me, my big, bad wolf. We're not going to dwell on what could have or should have or might have been. This is what is, and we're going to make it okay. Okay?"