Aberrant: 2011 - On the Long Road

[z-Kara]

April 23, 2009

It was raining. She thought it was, anyway. She could hear something that sounds like the drum of falling water on the side of the building, but Gardenia is nattering on about some bit of family gossip, and Kara can't be sure. She thought she could smell the rain, but the smell of hair spray is drowning out the other scents. Kara sighed, and Gardenia chided her, "Hol' still. Yer gonna mess up yer hair."

Kara didn't know why she bothered at all. She was in a hospital; she was supposed to look like crap! But everyday, Gardenia styled her hair and did her makeup. Like it mattered; the medical staff didn't care what she looked like, and her guests were the kind of people who wouldn't care about her appearance when she was messed up. So Gardenia was wasting their time by doing this.

But Kara didn't stop her. How could she? She could flap her arms around, or take her partially-grown fingers out of the concealing mittens and try to grab Gardenia, but what was the point? She could even make wet, hideous moans with her stub of a tongue, but why? It was pointless to fight, and so she let Gardenia have her way.

She was healing. She could feel it, and others were telling her, but it was grotesque. She couldn't see it, naturally. But she could feel the horror of her fingers growing, bones pushing against her skin. Sometimes, they itched. And nothing could help her get faster better. Kara sat helpless in her dark, beautiful, maimed prison and waited for the end of this nightmare.

[Dr. James Adler]

"Ma'am, I'm afraid you've just violated the hospital safety codes. Something about patients catching on fire from too much hairspray." The dry, sardonic voice was accompanied, as always, by the faint tinge of smoke in the air. Gardenia's protest was cut off in mid-breath. "Seriously, out. Patient-doctor time. You can come back and finish dolling her up for the photo shoot later."

Cowed, at least for the moment, Gardenia collected her things and fled the room; a minute or so later, Kara heard the click of the door sliding shut and then the scrape of a chair being pulled over to her bedside. Something thumped on the bed next to her with a rustle of paper. "I brought milkshakes. Got your pick of vanilla, chocolate and strawberry; I figure you should have enough of your tongue back to tell the difference by now. Better drink up; hospital staff gets cranky about competition."

[z-Kara]

Kara silently chuckled through the exchange, a moment of positive emotions for her. Gardenia had complained endlessly about Dr. Alder - "Experience is no excuse for rudeness," she'd huffily exclaimed. Explaining that Dr. Alder was a touch nicer to his patients was impossible, and Kara had given up her awkward and futile attempts to tell that to her cousin. She'd given up on talking to anyone, except Dr. Alder. The cheer from the humor faded quickly, disappearing to the black hole of fatigue that was her constant companion.

*Mmm... that sounds wonderful,* Kara said, fumbling awkwardly for the object next to her. She wasn't hungry; she hadn't been hungry in days. Right after she had woken up, she'd snapped up every piece of food they'd offered to her, replinishing the reserves drained by her trial. But lately, she just hadn't had much of an appetite. Instead, she slept, hours and hours of the day. She'd slept more on average than she ever had before in her life.

Though dumb luck, she got ahold of one of the cups, accidently and unknowingly knocking over another one. She knew from experience that straws were beyond her abilities, so she thumbed off the lid, ignoring the slight pain as the cup's edge scraped her sensitive, newly-regenerated skin. *Isn't non-hospital food off-limits, Doctor?* she asked him, even as she took a healthy gulp of the shake. The cold treat was almost painful, and she was a little saddened by how tasteless it was. *Strawberry, right?*

[Dr. James Adler]

His quick reflexes fielded the cup she'd nearly knocked over expertly, setting it on the side table, and dropped a straw into one for himself. "Strawberry it is. And I certainly would never be caught sneaking contraband into the hospital, so we'll just have to do away with the evidence." Lifting his damaged leg up onto the end of her bed to prop it up, he leaned back in his chair a moment and closed his eyes. "I'm surprised you can taste anything over the smell of that flammable mass that woman calls hairspray."

[z-Kara]

*It's kinda her job,* Kara said, with a mental shrug. *I hired her out of beauty school to be my stylist, and she's good at it. Problem is when you're a stylist, anything can fixed with nice hair and makeup. Kinda like a carpentar and hammers.*

Kara listened to him slurp and added, *You'd better not take all the chocolate, mister. I want some of that myself. And some of the vanilla. Don't worry, I'm not the vile recepticle of diseases, which you know, since you're my doctor.* She reached out for another cup while stating, *So how has your day been? Anything interesting going on?*

[Dr. James Adler]

"If there were something interesting going on, would I be making patient rounds? Even for a patient as lovely and charming as you?" He passed her the chocolate, taking in her chart with a glance while he was at it. "A couple of new viruses, an infarction and a set of dispersed tumors that didn't show up on the MRIs. And you? Anything you've been trying to fix with a metaphorical hammer?"

He took in her mental silence for a moment, letting it stretch and settle between them until it had a nearly physical presence of its own, then spoke directly into her mind with the sharp, precise delicacy of a scalpel. *You haven't been outside your room for a week, Kara. There's nothing wrong with your legs, though there will be if you insist on not using them.*

[z-Kara]

Dr. Adler felt a roll of anger, and even a bit of hate, directed at him. It wasn't unexpected, it was natural. He was pushing her. He wouldn't have to do it if she'd push herself.

She supressed her angry. *I've been tired,* she told him. *I've been sleeping a lot - resting up. My body is working hard, to heal.* She took a sip of the chocolate shake. *Besides, getting me out and about is a pain - someone has to walk with me, and someone usually recognizes me, and then we have to stop and talk and make nice. It's easier to stay in here. Safer too.* Those lucious lips curved downward in a frown. *Do you always grumble at your patients for being good and getting enough rest?*

[Dr. James Adler]

"If it wasn't that, I'd have to find something else to grumble at you for." His tone was dry, not quite teasing. "If you don't start getting out of bed at least once a day, I'll start sending orderlies down to escort you around. Male ones. Big, heavy male ones who've probably seen your hospital videos at least once."

[z-Kara]

*That's not how you play doctor, Doctor,* Kara pointed out sharply. *If you've forgotten, I recommend reviewing Nursing a Stiff. It has some nice tips in there.*

He could feel her frustration. He let it simmer, before she burst out with *And what's the point, anyway? All I'm going to do is stumble around blindly on someone's arm and hope they don't run me into someone or something! It's humilating! It's degrading! I won't do it!*

With an inarticulate growl, she tossed the cup in her hand across the room. The cup released its contents in a chocolate arc that fell across the path; the cup itself bounced off the seat of the bland couch, smearing brown ice cream across the fabric. For a second, Adler felt that surge of power in her, the one that had occurred the first time they had talked. Then it was gone, suppressed just like before. But the end of her growl reverberated strangely, almost inhumanly.

[Dr. James Adler]

"Degrading, Kara, is having to spend several months relearning to walk becaue you've leg your leg muscles atrophy. Or what you did in Bottom Bitch, with the jungle gym. This is just walking. Unless it's depending on someone else to help you, of course, which I admit is a real pain in the ass. Unfortunately, your choices are to suck it up or spend more painful time in rehab than you need to. You don't strike me as the stupid type." Leaning back in his chair, Adler extracted a fresh cigarette from his pocket and lit it carefully. "After all, the good porn-watching citizens of the world are dying for their next Caramel Bath video, and we'd hate to disappoint them."

[z-Kara]

*You don't get it!* Kara snapped. Her arms waved helplessly as she attempted to communicate her sheer helplessness. *You may be crippled, but you don't need others to get around! You aren't like a giant baby, unable to feed yourself without making a mess! I need help for everything, and you want me to just waltz around like it's nothing! It's not nothing.* Her arms dropped to the bed as she sighed, tired and drained from her outburst.

[Dr. James Adler]

"No, it's fucking hell, a shit detail of the worst order. But you're stuck with it, and sulking in bed is only going to make you worse. Calling attention to your doctor's handicaps, in the meanwhile, is likely to get your bandages soaked in saltwater or something equally unpleasant as an antibacterial treatment."

Reaching over to the microphone by her bedside, he squeezed the send button and pitched his voice up in a squeaky falsetto. "Nurse, clean-up on aisle one. Clean-up on aisle one." He released the button and looked up at her bandaged face with a grimace. "And what I want you to do is do what I tell you so you'll get better faster; a positive attitude about it is just sort of a bonus."

[z-Kara]

*I don't know if I can do that,* Kara thought. Darkness and despair rolled through her mind, and she simply lay back on her bed. *I don't know if I can have a positive attitude.

*I always thought I was strong enough to handle anything,* Kara said, her mental voice tired. *But this... James, I don't know if I can take another day of being like this. I know it's all temporary. I know that. But... I'm baggage and I can't handle that! I know... I'm too proud. My whole family is like this - you should meet my mother. She makes me look like the willow that gives before the wind.*

[Dr. James Adler]

*Remind me never to give medical advice to your mother, then.* Adler eased to his feet carefully, wincing as his damaged knee took his weight for a moment. *Now get your lovely ass out of that bed and take a walk with me so you can stop listening to my harping at you and I can be the envy of all I survey. After all, you're still the hottest 'baggage' in the hospital, even if they don't recognize you from your film career.*

[z-Kara]

Kara didn't answer; she just slid to the side of the bed and swung her feet over the edge. In her bed, she was master of her domain; outside of it, she was lost. Her feet touched the floor, and she didn't try to find her slippers. The cold tile felt strangely good on her feet.

Kara didn't move from the spot her feet landed on; she waited for Adler to come to her. Instead of taking his arm, she ducked under it, slipping her arm around his waist. *If you're going to be the object of envy, let's do it right.* She rested her head against his shoulder, leaving Dr. Adler to put his hand and arm where he would. *Like this. If you get a date from a cute nurse out of this, you owe me.*

[Dr. James Adler]

It was a strange walk, in some ways; to anyone watching them, they might have been mistaken for a couple meandering through the hospital corridors and out into the tidily kept gardens behind the hospital. The tall, slightly gaunt doctor with the faintly unshaven look and pronounced limp and the beautiful, heavily bandaged woman on his arm who progressed through the garden in silence might have been cut from the cover of a particularly gloomy romance novel.

Unless, of course, you could hear thoughts, which completely ruined the image. *So I hear that Harem Fantasies III is probably going to pull down the Adult Movie Award. Haven't see it myself yet, much to my chagrin, but I did catch the Candy Rain flick you're up against and let me tell you, you're going to have a stiff fight on your hands. *

[z-Kara]

*Haha, 'stiff' fight. You're so witty, Dr. Adler,* Kara chuckled mentally. After a moment, she added quietly, *I... don't care anymore. It's surprising, but after the... attack, it just doesn't seem to have the importance that it once did. I'll be happy to win, don't get me wrong, but it just seems so shallow.

*It all seems so empty,* she sighed, resting her head on his shoulder. It wasn't perhaps the correct gesture for a patient to exhibit toward her doctor, but Kara felt a measure of comfort from the masculine strength of his shoulder. *Will I get to go back to being blissfully self-centered?*

[Dr. James Adler]

*As you can see, my ability to remain thoroughly self-centered has been completely unaffected. I'm sure you'll be able to manage a full recovery as well; I understand these distressing feelings of empathy and a need for broader meaning are perfectly normal and go away quickly.* It was, of course, completely inappropriate to be walking in such obviously intimate silence with a patient, and Adler allowed himself a private moment of satisfaction at the fit Legal was going to throw later before continuing. *And yeah, it's probably shallow and juvenile and so forth, but I hope you kick her ass. You're much hotter than she is.*

[z-Kara]

*Thank you,* Kara said. Her dark skin hid the blush that creeped over her skin; she got compliments often, but to be told that she was hotter than a woman she had once entertained a crush on was novel. *I've been told that I have a good chance of winning it.

*By the way... am I going to get you into trouble, doing this?* Her hands squeezed him just a little, to let him know exactly what she was talking about.

[Dr. James Adler]

*Almost certainly.* She couldn't actually see his smile. but she felt it in her head like a wicked little spark. *Legal has all these pesky little rules about treating patients. On the other hand, I can count the number of days I haven't been in trouble with Legal in the last five years on your toes, and it's rarely been in such a good cause.* The squeeze he gave her ass as they turned a corner in the hedge maze was as cheerfully lecherous as the voice in her head, but there was something in the way he put the thought into her mind that made it more playful than tawdry; she could taste his mood when he spoke, and she'd known enough sexual predators in her life to know he wasn't the type. He enjoyed the outrageous trouble he was going to cause, and that impish delight was ever bit as wicked as her own had been... before.