Catalyst Posted December 7, 2006 Share Posted December 7, 2006 I sit here writing in this book, and I wonder. Why was I born to a family that would turn it's back on me, because God has chosen to bless me. My father is writhing a book, that calls for the holy warriors of Allah to kill me. I do not think this is the a goal of anything close to what I could call holy, let alone what Allah. Still I have to live. I love him dearly and would only wish he could take me for what I am. I know I will never be what I used to be, and that I should not even try not to be what I am.I guess I have to take his hate in stride, and return him only love.I think he does not know what he is doing. I think he is lost in scary time.I think I want to show him that I am the same daughter he kissed when I scraped my knee. I am the same daughter he held on to tightly each day before I went to school. The same daughter who he prayed to have another day. I still love him.My mother thinks I am sick with the devil.She thinks I need to be cured. I do not see how the gifts i was given were anything other than divine. I now can change the world for the better.I want my mother back.I want the mother who I could talk to about anything, even if she did not agree with me.I want he mother whose shoulders held more of my tears than drops of water in a river..I want the love of my mother..I want her to not know hate for the daughter who came from her.I guess I will have to take these thing in stride.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catalyst Posted December 8, 2006 Author Share Posted December 8, 2006 Now that i got that lil tiff out of my system i will write about more day to day issues. I am a young woman, and I know that at my core, I know so very liltte about what I am. I can use my powers, but I do not fully understand them. I can become the same things as the rock. Does that mean I am that rock?That I am the same kind of rock?Or maybe I am just something that is very much like it? I don't know. I become it, I just do not know on what level I change. Then again why am I writing this down?I don't know.I think it makes me feel as if I am thinking deeply about it, or something. I am just puzzled by it, and my seemingly sublime understanding of my body and then the complete lack of it. My body knows, I guess but my mind doesn't...Oh I meet some of the most interesting people yesterday.I even got to talk to Slash yesterday. I was shacking.I think i made a fool out of myself. I was sent to this conference about how novas deal with natural disaistors and she was there.I saw so many novas,so many people that I was well .I spent half the day in a state of awe and most the rest of the time in the bathroom..I think I had a panic attack.I think. I just couldn't breath, and it was hard to control my powers. I think I was changing into all sorts of think.I know I became the water I was drinking. I was sitting with the big girls and boys...I felt like a ally cat walking in a pride of lions.Any ways I was in the bathroom, a walking girl made of water, when splash came in and looked at me, and talked to me. I don't really remember the words, but I think the biggest thing was I felt like at least she thought of me a peer.Or I felt she did. She was so nice, I will have to look into working with Utopia. I will have to think. By the way i think she used some of her powers on me..I don't know.I am not going to bring it up in public until I ask her in private.I think I need to get a boyfriend. I just don't know where I will go looking. I mean I am really damn strong, and well people have been saying I look very good. I don't know if I have any peers anymore..Most novas being older than me,and most likely wouldn't be looking for a young girl for any good reason.I do not want to be someone's "daughter"Or plaything to be molded with their skills or something. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catalyst Posted December 11, 2006 Author Share Posted December 11, 2006 The worl got turn upside down on me again. How does this happen so many times to me. My sister has told my parents that she would rather be my sister than tehir daughter. I don't know if this is a good or bad thing. HSe also has a husband.I hate my eruption, she was the good daughter.That is if you beleive in good and bad sisters. She did everything right, I always looked up to her. Life is strange.My world is crazy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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