World of Darkness World of Darkness: Attrition - Map of the Stars

[Adrian Moss]

I had finished my nightly feeding early. I loved this new found confidence I had developed since meeting the Weres and it was showing on how well I was doing in my nightly struggle to say alive. I had more time to do other things. I had more time to think about whom I was and what I was going to be.

The war for my soul was maybe not going so well. I had thrown in my lot with the Westwood crowd, but I was uneasy. I wanted what they offered, but didn’t’ admire what they were – the exact opposite of the Ordo crowd. I wanted to be a bit different. I wanted to be something between the two groups, or maybe I just wanted to take what I wanted from both and make my own path.

Yeah, the last part sounded real good. It was also really scary.

“Excuse me, Mister. Want a map of the Stars?”

“A what,” I ask, caught off guard? Hey, it happens.

“A map to the house of the Stars,” this little kid goes on. Damn, she can’t be more than eight and she needs a bath.

A couple moving down the street moves around us, eyes furtive as they dodge the panhandler and her victim. She in turn she eyes them with the sad look of Marks getting away. Still she wants to get her money from me.

“How much?”

“Five dollars,” she says eagerly. Seriously, I don’t remember having this much life in me when I was that small.

I pull out my money clip and pull out a fiver. I look at the pamphlet held in her grimy hand. It’s clearly seen better days.

We make the exchange. She eyes me suspiciously since I’m not making like I’m going to go away. Still, she’s not going to give up her spot on the street. I search for the proper question.

“Who told you how to get these thrown out maps?” I ask.

“I found a homeless guy who told me what to do,” she tells me with a shrug.

I notice something moving on her. At first I’m confused then I realize it’s not a rat.

“Who is your friend,” I say pointing to the rodent who is not a rat.

She immediately brightens up.

“Oh, that’s Tribbles. She’s my hamster.”

She tucks the maps under her arm and grabs the hamster up. She rubs her cheek against the little female thing.

“She’s my only friend.” She looks up at me. “She’s my only friend.”

Part of me says to eat it and I’m not sure if my Beast is referring to the child or the hamster. Instead I smile and make the child a deal. I’ll buy her remaining few maps if she lets me buy her something to eat. Once she has the money in hand for the maps, she readily agrees. She has little real fear of strangers. She also insists on paying for her own food and has a hard time making change. She’s a little kid.

We get her two pieces of pizza, one with mushrooms and one with pepperoni then walk back to my car. It only takes a little bit of effort to get her to start telling me her story. Her parents have divorced and her dad has remarried and moved to San Diego. He now no longer has time for her. He only has time for his new family. Now her mother has this new boyfriend and she heard them talking about getting married. That means her mother won’t have time for her either. So, she ran away.

I ask were she lives and she tells me Malibu. The address is unfamiliar, but it’s probably in the northern ‘burbs. She blithely tells me her phone number as well. I’m a little surprised by how much the kid knows but she makes it seem like every first grader knows it.

Right now, I don’t know what to do. I could just leave her and walk away. She’s not my baggage to carry. Or, I could turn her over to the first cop I come across, do the good deed, and go home mission accomplished. Or, I could foolishly get myself involved in her life and find a way for her to go home reunited with her mother. Come on, kids are up during the day and at the same time I’m dead to the world. My childhood was totally fucked up. There is no way I could take care of a kid, but then I’ve always been a bit of a fool.