Aberrant: The Middle Children of History - Whatever

[z-Infinity]

I knocked the ash off the cigarette I had brought with grocery money and stared out into the night sky. Below me, L-fucking-A glowed annoyingly, blocking out anything but itself. Its glow was like an ugly monster, eating the beautiful stars and turning the moon into a pale disk.

Hey, that shit is half-good. I should write that down.

Who the fuck am I kidding? It's half-bad, too.

My legs swung at the knees, my cheap imitation boots kicking into the air. I consider, again, pushing off the ledge of my building and making a messy smear that someone would be responsible for scrapping up. The thought made me grin with a touch of malice.

Oh, now I really am just fucking around - I don't have the courage to do it, and I know it. I'd just fuck it up anyway. Break every bone in my god-damned body, or land on someone else and kill them.

Can you believe that I met Mal once? No, really, I did, back in 2011. My folks are big into the Cult of Mal; they believe He's Everything. So they dragged me around to all the Mal-cult things, and he was at one of them. I should have been left with Bounty, but Dad had dated her a long time ago for like a week, and Mom wouldn't hear of it.

How zip of her, right? Even with a node, they couldn't move past baseline stereotypes. Typical adults, telling us how to not do everything they were doing.

Anyway, I was four. It's my first memory. He came into the room, and all the adults got so respectful. It left a hell of an impression on me. He was so tall, especially to my tiny body. He moved through the crowds, and I could tell He wasn't there. All the sycophants were a warm wind against a mountain; He was above it all. Scripture was keeping people back from Him, but I was so small, even then. I just kinda slipped up there.

I was a child. He was so incredible. And I took His hand.

He was surprised; I don't think He got randomly touched anymore. For a second, no one spoke, then Mom started hollarin' at me, while Dad apologized. And He stopped them with a glance. They shriveled up in the face of His power.

Then He crouched down and said, "You are the future." He stood up, ruffled my hair and passed me back to Mom.

Ya hear that? Me, the future. But I think that Mal accidentally cursed the Teragen that day, when He called me the future. I'm a fuck up with no powers, nothing special; I even have baseline tolerances for booze. And after he said that to me, things got bad; the world started to tear itself apart. I think it's my fault that Terats can't get a fair break, that everyone is starting to hate the novas. Because if I'm the future, then we are fucked.

Oh, yeah... and I was in love with him. Still am. I mean if you look at him, are in his presence, feel what he is, you'd understand. You'd love him too. He's too awesome to not love, slavishly. And I do. I give a lot to have his kids.

I was fifteen before I found out why Scripture hung around with him all the time. That was heartbreaking. I was also fifteen when my parents gave up on me. No yelling, no shouting, no drawn out fights. Just a quiet lack of interest in me that meant I wasn't worth their time anymore. They didn't believe that I was going to be anything special, beyond a special fuck-up.

Fifteen had been a bad year.

My brother, Potential was living up to his name. He had quantum bolts and flight and Dad's ability to mess with time - I had... a node. Con-fucking-grats.

The quantum burned in me, inside me, like a fire. But it's like a fire in a pot; so long as there is fuel and oxygen, it'll burn. Well, there's my node, which is oxygen, and I guess I'm the fuel. I burn with my own useless power; I can't do a thing with it. It's like a bad hair day, but in my brain.

Something rumbled in the distance; fuckin' Bastion must have found a jaywalker or something. I take a drag on my cigarette. Now there's fuckin' irony for you. Some low-life from the streets is indestructable and nearly unstoppable, and me, the daughter of two powerful Terats, is impotent and useless.

I consider jumping again. I know I won't. But it's a nice thought, isn't it?