[Fiction] Breakfast in the Spire

[Li Ai Jun Yen]

It had been a long time since Li Ai Jun Yen had eaten congee and yu za kuei for breakfast. The watery rice gruel, served today with mushrooms and a touch of soy sauce, and the twists of deep-fried dough reminded her of her childhood with her mother in the Chinese quarter of Denpasar. Lei Xian had been poor, but she had always done her best to keep both of them fed. From a more mature viewpoint, Ai could realise that life had been better, if not more prosperous, before her mother's death and her own adoption.

Oh, the Rais family had meant well, and Sarah was barren from a botched abortion back in Hong Kong many years before. But they vigorously denied their heritage to the point that when she had returned home after training wearing a collarless shirt with Balinese embroidery, they were horrified. And she had never breathed a word to anyone about the beatings she endured when she refused to go to church. Her Confucian beliefs had been the last link to her mother she possessed.

But it was a miracle her fingers still remembered to twist the dough and boil the gruel, that her mind remembered the cheap and simple additions to the congee that her mother used. It had been pleasant to go into Chicago's Chinatown under her own face - the merchants had been most polite to her, honoured that a nova was in their business and buying. She barely had to bargain for her new clothing (eufiber was useful, but it was always nice to have cotton and silk) but insisted on paying a fair price.

She hoped to surprise Nan Ho this morning with her preparing the meal, not him.

[GDP_ST]

He awoke from his dreamlike state, staring at the ceiling as his senses returned to his body. There was none of the slight delay or confusion that humans experienced when returning to wakefulness. Procyon was instantly awake, his languor due to pleasant reminiscences of the night before. His hearing picked up Ai as she quietly moved around in the kitchen. Curious, he got out of bed, wandering naked out of the bedroom, across the lounge, and up to the kitchen doorway. Catching the smell of cooking, he peered around the arch, curious to see what was going on.

[Li Ai Jun Yen]

Ai was adding a garnish of crisp green capsicum strips to the congee when Procyon walked to the archway and looked around. Chinese people, no matter where they were, used ingredients that Westerners would consider fit only for the dinner table, not breakfast. She was no exception, but until recently, her breakfast had usually been leftovers from the night before.

No, she was not going to tell Nan Ho that. He got this overwhelming urge to protect her from herself sometimes, even though she told him that she could take care of herself.

So she had been hungry and living in cheap rooms. She was not dead, right?

When the rice gruel was decorated, she carried it and the plate with the yu za kuei on it outside to the eating area, not noticing Procyon she was so focused on not spilling anything.

[GDP_ST]

Procyon watched her silently, a soft smile gentling features capable of striking terrified awe into thousands. He stepped away from the wall casually as Ai set the bowl and plate down, his blue eyes dancing as he announced his presence.

"Smells good, shin gan." The sun god moved up next to his lover and gently wrapped his arms around her, placing a soft kiss on her cheek. "Thank you. I don't remember the last time someone cooked for me." He smiled and rested his head against hers.

[Li Ai Jun Yen]

Ai smiled up at Nan Ho tentatively.

"I wished to show that I could bring to the household as much as you," she confessed softly. "I do not enjoy being taken care of."

She stepped out of his arms and begin to dish up the morning meal.

[GDP_ST]

He smiled at Ai and took a seat as she served up breakfast. Procyon observed the gentle grace of her movements with pleasure, his eyes dancing with barely-repressed emotion. As she set the meal down in front of him, he gently caught one slim hand in his. Ai looked at him curiously.

"Thank you." Procyon told her with open sincerity and a soft smile before letting her hand slip slowly and lingeringly out of his.

[Li Ai Jun Yen]

Ai flushed with pleasure and murmured, "Thank you," before taking her seat.

Apart from a serving spoon, there were no utensils at the table. Ai picked up one of the deep-fried twists of dough, soaked it in the rice gruel for a few moments, bit and repeated. As a child, clean water for washing had been a luxury, and so her mother had removed any extraneous implements from the 'kitchen'... which was basically a scoured wooden chopping board, a piece of blackened sheet metal over the stone hearth, and a terracotta bowl.

Not that she was going to tell Nan Ho that either. It would only make him shower more things on her.

[GDP_ST]

Procyon observed Ai for a second or two, then followed suit, dipping the fried dough into the gruel before eating it. It was good, deceptively so considering the apparent simplicity of the dish. The radiantly glowing nova set to with relish, enjoying the new experience.

"This is good." He commented between mouthfuls as he glanced at Ai. "What do you call it?"

[Li Ai Jun Yen]

Ai smiled with pleasure at his compliment.

"The rice is congee and the fried dough is yu za kuei - 'deep fried devils'," she explained between bites and swallows. "The story is that an official in the time of Confucius was very corrupt, so he and his friends were fried or boiled alive, maybe in oil. So that is where it came from."

Her voice went soft. "My mother cooked this every day. It is a cheap, simple meal."

[GDP_ST]

He chuckled softly as she explained the origin of the 'deep fried devils', clearly amused, before taking another mouthful. He listened to Ai's voice soften as she talked about her mother.

"My compliments to your mother for teaching you so well." He said gently, a tender smile on his lips. "If it's not a troubling question, what was she like?" He dipped the dough into the gruel once more and took a bite.

[Li Ai Jun Yen]

Ai was silent for a long while, picking at one of the dough-twists, her eyes shadowed by delicate eyelashes.

Finally, she spoke.

"She enjoyed life. She spent time with men, even those who were already married, and drank. But she never did it to excess and she always kept food on the table. She always helped out her family, even though my grandfather wanted nothing to do with her for having me, and often let my aunt Lei Yin Mei stay when her pimp was angry. She died from tuberculosis and the man who put me through school, Harold Rais, adopted me."

She sighed. "He was married, but he had slept with my mother - I never knew until I returned to Indonesia after developing telepathy, and reading it in his mind. So that is my mother."

[GDP_ST]

He listened silently, enjoying the meal even as he unconsciously analysed Ai's voice, her posture, and the content of her words. When she fell silent, he leaned forward with a soft smile.

"She sounds like a fine woman, and a good mother." He picked up another 'fried devil'. "Do you think you are like her, despite her early departure? Or do you favor your foster parents more in outlook?"

[Li Ai Jun Yen]

"I am more like my foster parents," was all Ai said as she returned to finishing her meal. Typically of anything Ai had prepared, it was a human-sized meal, as if the Asian nova was incapable of making a nova-sized feast.

[GDP_ST]

Procyon's eyebrow quirked, and he looked at Ai curiously.

"Was that enough for you?" he asked, a little good-natured suspicion sparkling in his gaze.

[Li Ai Jun Yen]

"It has been always enough for me," she answered softly as she finished eating the last fried bit of dough.

[GDP_ST]

"Ai." Procyon's voice was gentle but firm. "There's no way a nova can get by on baseline portions. Not unless they're anorexic or have some alternative way of surviving. For all I know, Antaeus photosynthises, but you aren't him. Please, for your own sake, eat sensibly. I know I'm still hungry, despite how delicious that meal was."

The lie caused him a small pang of guilt. He had taken the measure of his love well enough to know that she would probably try to justify her own abstention if she realised he didn't need food. She needed feeding up, that was evident. Her nova constitution would enable her to survive food shortage, but surviving was a far cry from living well.

"I know you have gotten by in the past, but you no longer need to merely get by. You need to fuel your body as was intended, so that your mind will be similarly fuelled. You have no idea how much damage you may be doing to your own development as a nova by refusing to give your physiology what it needs." He reached out and took one of her hands in his gently. "Shin gan, please do not starve yourself. It is unnecessary and harmful."

[Li Ai Jun Yen]

"I have done fine until now," she protested. "Too much food, and I will get fat."

Ai's ignorance of the nova condition was truly astonishing to the few who knew her. What she believed about Taint before meeting Procyon, for instance....

That she did not know novas could not get fat should have come as no surprise to Procyon.

[GDP_ST]

He blinked. For all that he knew of Ai, and how little she knew of being a nova, he should not have been taken aback, yet he was. He felt no urge to laugh, however. Instead, a wave of protective tenderness swept over him. She really doesn't know. Did they teach her nothing?!

"Ai, novas don't get fat. It's biologically impossible. Taint may make a nova look huge or bloated, but that isn't fat gained from eating." He held both of her hands in his now, smiling warmly. "Your body channels all that you eat into your quantum matrix, refuelling you and allowing your development to increase."

"That is why you are always hungry, Ai. Your body is cannibalising itself to survive. You are permanently suffering from low levels of blood sugar and vitamins too, unless I'm mistaken. A baseline in your shoes would be too weak to stand."

[Li Ai Jun Yen]

Ai stared at Procyon in shock.

"But novas can survive three times longer than baselines without food, so it stands to reason they can survive on a third of what they eat," she insisted. "That is what the parapysician I saw at the Sydney Rashoud clinic told me."

*What else have they told me that is wrong or a lie?* she privately wondered, not aware that she was projecting to Procyon.

[GDP_ST]

Procyon looked aghast, the mental projection from Ai rapidly transmuting his shock to simmering anger. His hands trembled around hers as they felt the urge to clench in outrage. As it was, all Ai felt was a strong, but not painful, tightening of the godling's grip.

"They told you that?" His powerful voice was calm, dangerously calm. The hush before the storm was a phrase that leapt into Ai's mind as she looked into Procyon's darkening eyes. She had seen that look before: when the hands holding hers had been soaked in blood and the beautiful face had been set in a terrible expression of cold wrath. A tension settled over the room for a long few seconds. When Procyon spoke again, his voice was more conversational.

"Whoever told you that is a damned liar, and if they ever cross my path, I'm going to make them the first monkey in space without a suit or rocket." His eyes lightening slightly, he continued. "Novas might be able to survive longer without food, but they need more food than humans to enjoy a proper healthy life. At least five times as much food, in fact."

He shook his head gently, his grip on Ai's delicate hands lessening. "That Sydney paraphysician, what else did he tell you?"

[Li Ai Jun Yen]

Ai paled significantly as she realised that she had projected yet again. Her telepathic skills were not honed by training, only by effort and instinct... and she apparently had trouble with keeping her thoughts to herself.

"I was told that pushing yourself acquired Taint and that no nova erupted with it, novas only needed a third of the food a baseline did and that I was allergic to adrenocilin and monoxoquintaine, so I could not use it," she softly answered, recalling that when she had gone back for a check-up, the paraphysician was nowhere to be found, having been transferred to an undisclosed Rashoud clinic.

[GDP_ST]

"Hmm." Procyon mused over Ai's words. "Well, the Taint data is half-true. Pushing yourself does run the risk of acquiring Taint. But as for no nova erupting with it - well, you already know that's rubbish."

"As for the adrenocilin and mox thing: Well, you might be allergic to it - it's theoretically possible I suppose. But very unlikely." Procyon's face looked thoughtful for a moment. "I suppose we could find out, but you're better off without that muck anyway."

"Finally, the food matter. What he told you was utter bullshit, pardon my language. Novas need at least three times the food intake of a human, and five times is the ideal. There's lots of high-protein, nutrient-rich food out there, adapted from the weight-gain health foods and labelled as explicitly for novas, as the calories, fat, vitamin levels and carbohydrates in the food would probably make a human sick." Procyon smiled at Ai. "As a matter of fact, most of my larder is stocked with such foods. They look like ordinary examples of store-bought food, but they are specifically for nova consumption. That lasagne you ate last night was made with the extra-nutrient ingredients."

[Li Ai Jun Yen]

"Oh."

One sound, not even really a word, summed up Ai's feelings on the matter. Chagrin and anger, hurt and confusion, all filled that single sound shaped by rosebud lips.

After uttering that sound, she quickly picked up the things which needed cleaning and went into the kitchen.

[GDP_ST]

He let Ai go, watching her graceful walk as she moved into the kitchen before leaning back in his chair and gazing off into space. He keenly felt his love's hurt and turmoil, as he had felt her pain and almost-fear when speaking of her foster parents.

Procyon clasped his hands behind his head and wondered how badly Ai had been messed up by her family life. She was tightly wound, that much was obvious: all her passion and zest for existence was layered under a thick and rigid coating of... what? Fear? That's what it felt like mainly. Fear that had ossified until it became something else, like wood becomes stone under the right conditions. Yet it wasn't fear of pain or death; no, this was emotional fear.

It struck the glowing Terat then: exactly how brave she had been to leave her old life behind. His blue eyes widened slightly as he considered that fact for a nanosecond, then Procyon stood and moved towards the kitchen. He stopped in the doorway and, leaning against the wall there, regarded Ai with new eyes silently as she went about clearing up.

[Li Ai Jun Yen]

In the kitchen, Ai focused on soaking the implements used for cooking, then prepared another meal. So she would have to get special nova food from the Chinese stores... Would they even have them?

She steadfastly refused to think about the revelations, and their implications, that Procyon had shared with her. She was adjusting to too much at one time.