Interim - Ep 2 - Pleased To Meet You

[Lilly Pryor]

Spoiler

This takes place after the events of "Home Alone", shortly before school starts.

 

Interim - Ep 2 - Pleased To Meet You

The soft jingle of the small bell attached to the door by a simple curlicue announced the opening of the door as Lilly entered the shop. The space was narrow, but extended far back from the door. A long counter ran down the side and back wall, behind which the most expensive and/or regulated items were kept, such as rifles, knives and high end bows. The rest of the space was filled with racks of cammo clothing and orange safety vests, displays for arrows, all manner of animal calls and decoys, fishing rods and camping gear. The selection not have been the best ever, but there certainly seemed to be enough to fulfill the needs of almost any outdoorsman.

Lilly walked around, perusing the various wares, occasionally stopping to give something a closer look. She knew what she was there for, but it never hurt to see what else might catch the eye. New gear was being thought up and released all the time, so she had to check to see if there was something she didn't know that she had to have.

The shop had a faint, unique smell due to the intermingling of new and old, once living with wholly artificial along with the various oils, baits, scent masks and so on. The soft hum of a top-open bait refrigerator was a constant in the space, adding to by the two televisions which were always tuned to various outdoors shows and networks. Over that, Lilly could hear heavy footfalls coming from the back and moving closer.

"Hello there, young lady. Is there anything I can help you find?" Travis Tanner, the slightly rotund man behind the counter asked as he walked up from the back of the shop.

Travis looked to be in his very late forties or maybe early fifties and was just slightly overweight. He had a bread and mustache, which some joked was to counter for him going bald, a fact which he hid with a camo cap. He was wearing  his usual, head to toe camo, with a bright 'safety orange' apron over it that had 'Ask Me About Knife Sharpening & Repairs' printed on it. He gave Lilly a once over, though he tried to not look like he was giving her a once over. She did not come in too often, especially alone, but he certainly did not mind when she darkened his doorstep.

"Just picking up a few targets. I wanna warm up some before the season starts." she said with a small smile as she picked up a target in each hand and sat them down by the counter.

"I'll probably be back for some ammo too, but since bow season always opens first and school is starting soon, that can wait." she added.

Travis pecked at the register, ringing up her purchase as he continued to talk.

"So I hear you're gonna be the starting quarterback." he said, though it was more of a question.

"Yes sir. That seems to be Coach's thinking." Lilly said as she pulled out her money.

"But you're..  Uhh..." he said, looking her over for a moment, which caused Lilly to raise an eyebrow slightly, "..a little short for quarterback?" he finally finished, though it was clear what he really wanted to say was "a girl", but had enough, call it common sense or PC correctness, not to say it.

"Maybe. But I my line is great and gives me plenty of time and clear line of sights. We have some great receivers too, not to mention the running backs and tight ends." Lilly said, giving credit to the rest of the team instead of herself, as usual.

"One of the relievers this year is even..." she said a little softly and then leaned close to the counter, prompting Travis to lean down to hear whatever juicy secret she had. 

"..a girl. Do you believe that?" she finished and straightened back up with a smile.

Though it was hard to tell, Travis blushed a bit under his beard with Lilly showing she knew full well what he had been getting at.

"Sorry. I didn't mean it like.." Travis almost stammered.

"It's cool. It's new a different. I get ya." Lilly said with a shrug.  

"Just come out to the games and see what we can do on the field. You MIGHT just be surprised." she added with a grin as she handed over the cash.

"I'll do that." he said with a nod and handed Lilly back her change.

"Cool, dude." she said with a smile as she picked up the targets and walked to the door, leaning back against it to push it open with her butt.

"See you there. I'm gonna look for you too, Mr. Tanner." she grinned and slipped out.

 

Lilly's truck came down the road to the Bannon Farm with the windows rolls down and and the usual thirty to forty year old rock and metal playing. Thought it was not overly loud, on the usual near silence of the farm it stood out and announced her arrival. She pulled up and let the song end, head banging and air drumming along with it, and then killed the engine. She leaned over and looked at herself in the side rear view mirror, fixing a few errant hairs, and then stepped out, the gravel crunching under her shoes. She tugged down her lavender, fitted tee before over her jean shorts and then took off her white ball cap, running the fingers of one hand through her long, dark hair, and slipped it back on.

She had already called yesterday and spoken with Jason, offering to teach him some archery since she was going to be warming up for hunting season anyways and he invited her over the next day. Between that and the music, she felt reasonably certain that he know she had arrived, but just where he was she wast not sure of as she walked to the back of the pickup and leaned in, taking the bungee cords off of the targets and the various large, plastic hard cases and then slid them to the back where she let down the tailgate and took a seat, waiting for her friend.

 

Spoiler

 

[Bannon]

When learning a new skill, having a teacher was always best.  Especially when it came to more physical skills, such as hand-to-hand, shooting... and archery.  There were nuances that were not gleaned from textbooks and were clumsy to glean from videos plus, of course, it was an activity he could share with a friend.  So when Lilly had called, offering to hang out and practice with / teach him, Jason had only taken a moment to think it over and agree.  Hearing her pull up - the distinctive rattle of her truck's engine along with the thundering metal chords were as good as a signature - he'd set down what he was doing and headed out to greet her.

Lilly was mildly curious to see Jase come, not from the house or the barn / nerve center / gorgeous flower garden but from another smaller outbuilding, a kind of secondary barn.  Dressed in old fatigue pants, boots and a sleeveless white tee stained with grease spots and oil that similarly marked his arms and face, he walked with a straight-backed loose grace roughly several light-years from the tense slouching introvert act he'd worn for the years she'd known him.  He was wiping his hands on a rag which he shoved into a back pocket, giving her a faint smile as he drew near that reached his eyes, causing the corners to crinkle.

He liked Lilly.  Not for her looks - though as he'd told Marissa her looks certainly were a feature in his memory banks - but as a person.  He didn't understand her at all past the basic level, of course.  Most people seemed to have the odd clay foot - their morality highly flexible dependant on situation.  They would violate their consciences, then agonise over it and feel bad later.  He wondered if Lilly ever did anything she felt guilt and remorse for afterwards, and concluded that if she did, it was probably only once and never repeated.  An odd contrast to himself, who didn't do anything he felt bad about later - because he didn't have a conscience to violate, merely internal rules of correct behaviour he used to avoid trouble.  The closest he'd come to doing something he regretted was making aggressive snarky remarks on the night of the party, for which he'd apologised more for the sake of his friends than to make himself feel better about it.  Lilly was as much an enigma to him as he likely was to her.

Still, she was his friend, kind to him, and a striking girl - or young woman, rather.  And between one stride and the next he stored the sight of her, sitting on the tailboard of her truck, tanned legs kicking idly as she watched him approach, into his memories.

"How's the car?"  she inquired with a grin as she bounced to her feet.  It was no secret Jase had bought an old Dodge and was reconditioning it.  Mostly by himself, though apparently Hank and his dad had helped with some of the heavy work and Devin and Sean had been down kibitzing and helping out too.  Guys bonding over engines - a trope as old as time.  But Jase had apparently learned automotive mechanics and specifics regarding the Charger in a matter of a day's reading.  A physical prodigy herself, she wondered if the slightly daunting sensation she felt at considering Jason's gifts was the same as others felt regarding hers.  Probably.

"Doing well."  he said with a pleased gleam in his eyes.  "We're about ready to do the paint job."  He reached in a grabbed a target.

"Hot pink?"  she giggled as she took another one.  "Let's set up over there."  She suggested, leading him over to a flat grassy area.

"Dude."  he said, imitating her with only a fraction of the emphasis of protest he should have used.  "Hot pink is totally a girl's colour."  He smiled slightly.  "Going for glossy black, of course."

[Lilly Pryor]

"Well, it's a girl, isn't it?" Lilly asked before continuing, "Boats, cars, planes, even guitars and stuff... always girls. So hot pink would totally fit." she said with a grin.

Jason considered the naming convention Lilly spoke of for a moment. It was true that it was tradition to refer to vessels and vehicles of all manner in the feminine, though he had not particularly consider the origin of the convention when Lilly continued.

"Though... you had better be sure that the body is straight and true and that every line and curve is perfect, or the gloss black will highlight every single dent and imperfection when it reflects any light." she pointed out, which drew a look from Jason with just a hint of surprise. She had gotten to know her friend and his subtle expressions.

"What? You're not the only polymath. I mean, yeah, I love sports, but I also watch American Hotrod and stuff with my dad." she said with a sly grin as she set down the target and pushed the nails sticking out from the bottom into the ground to anchor it in place.

Lilly then rose up and began walking back to her truck with Jason and then leaned over and playfully jabbed him in the ribs with an elbow, which hurt a little more than he was willing to let on, something that he chalked up to her camaraderie with boys on the wrestling and football teams who were in all likely a bit rough with each other, likely the remnant of some sort of pseudo-tribal test of manhood for the young men.

"Sie sind nicht der einzige mit Schichten." Lilly said seemingly effortlessly in what sounded like rather fluent German to Jason, to which he raised an eyebrow quizzically.

"You're not the only one with layers." she translated for him, which brought a small smile to the corners of his mouth.

"No. I suppose not. I didn't know you spoke German," he replied as they reached the truck.

Lilly opened the cases, revealing one to be for arrow storage and the other three each containing bows; two unstrung recurve bows and third somewhat elaborately strung bow with pullies, which he recognized academically as a compound bow.

"Well, I have Ramstein Air Base to thank for that. It's just outside of Ramstein-Miesenbach, in the district of Kaiserslautern in Rhineland-Palatinate in southwestern Germany." she said and then added, "Though Frankfurt and Stuttgart weren't very far away either." with a shrug.

"Oh, and dude, I hate to say it, but...." she said, which brought about a small bit puzzlement to Jason as she pointed to his hands, acting like she was afraid to touch them, "...wash your damned hands. I don't need car blood all over my bows." she chuckled.

[Bannon]

"And here I thought you were the sort of girl who'd like men with a little oil under their fingernails, Lilly."  Jase gave her a slyly playful smile and turned to head off to the house.  Lilly blinked as she registered the flirt. Jason... flirting..?  Even if it was just in good fun, it was like watching a cat open a door and collect the mail - something you technically knew could happen, but never expected to see.

"A little oil under the fingernails is one thing." she recovered enough to retort at his back.  "Is there any oil actually still in in the engine, or is it all on you?"  There was no doubt about it - the new Jase was more challenging, sending curveballs her way.

"Yeah, yeah, back soon."  he drawled, flapping a hand mock-dismissively, smiling over one shoulder.  "I'll grab us some ice tea too, your highness."  Lilly grinned and set to readying the rest of the gear.

True to his word, Jason re-emerged from the house in five minutes or so, wearing clean clothes - though it was still old fatigue pants and a plain white tee - and with most of the visible oil scrubbed off as he set a pitcher and two tumblers on the tailboard of her truck.  A couple of flowers floated lazily in the pitcher's amber contents under the ice cubes.  He turned and caught the bracer Lilly tossed to him without so much as a blink, smiling faintly as he turned it over in his hands, then started to pull it on.

"I imagine my weight pull is less than yours."  he said without any apparent embarrassment as he considered his long lean arms.  That was old Jase, at least.  He never seemed to evidence any awe or envy at her athleticism - merely appreciative acknowledgement.  Most young guys, even nerds, found it hard to deal with girls who could arm-wrestle them and win.  "So how do we start?"

Lilly took him through the principles, finding she didn't need to pause, or stop and make sure he got it.  She showed him how to string the recurves, how to adjust the pull so it was comfortable without being too weak, and nodded approvingly as he took the other recurve and strung it - not without a little straining, but without pausing to figure out what to do next.  Next she showed him the arrows, listing off the different parts and their purpose and more importantly how to check the fletching and shaft.

"I confess, I'm surprised you speak German."  he commented as they examined the arrows together.

"I know."  Lilly said with a grin.  "Because I'm a jock, right?"

"Not at all.  I just didn't know you lived in Germany."  Jase smiled slightly.  "I figured you for speaking Spanish or French, though."

"You're going to go and eat a German dictionary now, just to keep up."  Lilly nudged him again.  Jase chuckled as he rubbed his ribs.

"Steady.  I need this ribcage to keep my lungs inside.  And no, I'm currently learning Russian.  German might be next, though, unless I start into Mandarin."

"Why Russian?"  Lilly poured a tumbler of iced tea and took a sip.  It was excellent, the jasmine flavoring the tea.

"KGB called.  They told me they were looking to outsource, but I'd need to get close to someone connected to the local airbase."  Jase deadpanned.  "I told them it was a tall order, but I'd take one for the team."  He smiled slightly as he took a tumbler for himself.

"Oh yeah?"  Lilly affected a wide-eyed empty-headed expression.  "You better watch out.  They'll be looking out for a skinny brainiac putting the moves on the ladies."  She snorted then, unable to keep up the deadpan expression.  "C'mon, why Russian, really?"

"Poetry."  Jase shrugged.  "Poetry, philosophy and literature.  Pre-Revolution, Russia was on the cusp of massive intellectual cultural enlightenment.  Sadly, most of those intellectuals were wiped out in the purges, which culturally set the country back a century or more.  Tolstoy inspired Ghandi, who in turn inspired MLK with his non-violent protest methods.  Non-violent political protest, founded in the writings of a man from a nation most associate with ruthless oppression and death for dissidents."  He took a drink, his eyes distant, then lowered the tumbler as his gaze focused on Lilly's face.

"I'm rambling.  Comes of barely saying anything for years - now I find it hard to shut up."  he said with a quirk of his lips.  "Let's shoot some arrows."

[Lilly Pryor]

Lilly closed the case on her compound bow for now and picked up the arrow case the weaker of the two recurves. leaving the other for Jason. Taking a few steps from her truck she set it down the case and dragged a line in the dirt and gravel with her shoe, kicking up a small cloud of dust that drifted away with the light breeze. With one hand she opened the case, selected an arrow and went over basic safety again, more out of habit than the thought that Jason needed it refreshed again.

"Okay. We are going for fundamentals here, starting with a proper draw. You should be able to draw back and hold it without extreme effort, so you're not trembling or anything." she said as she stood and looked down range at the target.

"Like so." she said, as she nocked the arrow and drew the bow back. Her arms barely flexed drawing back the much lighter bow to bring her hand to her anchor point.

"This one is only twenty-five pound draw, so I can hold it all day. And when hunting, draw is important, but accuracy is just as important, if not more so." she said as she released the arrow, sending it in a slight arc toward the target where it hit a little high and to the right.

"Meh. Haven't shot this bow since I was little. Over compensated for the weaker draw, but at least I hit." she said with a frown and then shrugged.

"That one is forty pound draw," she said nodding to the bow Jason held, "and can be used to hunt pretty much anywhere, though it's best for small game like turkeys, hogs and even deer. If you're going after anything bigger, like elk or larger, you need more draw, because a big part of harvesting an animal is to do so ethically and humanely. If the draw is too light then you'll prolly hurt it but it'll get away and then suffer needlessly." she explained.

It did not surprise Jason for Lilly to express such compassion for the very animals she would be hunting, Killing an animal was one thing to her, but doing so without undue suffering seemed even more important to her. A part of him wondered how exactly she had developed such a strong personal code. In a way, she was like him her adherence to such a strong, personal code. Which brought the question of why...

Nor was he all that surprised that where others would have been showing off with their much more powerful bow, if for no reason than some ego stroking, Lilly had instead left the compound bow in the case at her truck. He had learned some time ago that she was not one who had to elevate herself at the cost of others' esteem, though he certainly know of those who did.

"First just practice drawing a few times and get comfortable with the motion, but don't dry fire." she explained as she watches Jason take a stance and draw back the bow. She corrected a few small things with some taps of her hand or lifting or lowering his arm or the like, making the motion a little easier

"I wouldn't saw I am fluent in French, but I can get by well enough." She said, drifting back to their prior conversation as she withdrew a target arrow from the case and handed to Jason.

"I mean, we were like thirty miles or so from the border. I'm about the same with Dutch too. Funny thing with Germany, especially the major cities, and Berlin in particular, is that a lot of people speak English. It's actually really multi-cultural. Some awesome museums too." she added.

"Anways, Draw back, use your anchor point and release. Just hitting the target at this point is great." she said with a smile and then stepped to safety behind Jason.

The target we good sized and not very far away, making it a relatively easy shot. Lilly would encourage with a "Nice shot" or the like, and hand him another arrow as Jason began to improve. When the supply was exhausted she walked down the fetched the arrows, withdrawing them from the target (or the ground) with a small , twisting tug.

"So how's the car coming along?" she asked as she walked back and handed Jason the arrows, exchanging them for the bow.

"It's coming good. We're about ready to do the paint and if all goes well, it should be ready before school starts." Jason explained as Lilly drew back and fired.,

"Been getting any help? I mean, there's always stuff that a manual can't teach..." she asked with a grin as she focused on the target and let loose another arrow.

"..and I heard the Jauntsens have been around a good bit too. Judging by the other morning, I'd say you three are hitting it off pretty good." she said as she drew back and aimed.

"What are you gonna name the car? Mari?" she asked with a grin, still looking down range at the target.

Jason noticed, and was indeed probably one of the few that could have noticed that her grin and playfully teasing tone was more than little forced, a fact she hid better than expected.

Another arrow sailed through the air and struck the target just off center.

[Bannon]

There was a devil in Jase that had nothing to do with his malformed amygdala and prefrontal cortex and everything to do with a sense of humor that would best be described as 'puckish'.  His odd brain structure just meant he could indulge his sense of humor without any shame or remorse when he saw a safe means to do so - like now.  He waited for Lilly to line up another shot, paying close attention as she settled herself from whatever emotional turmoil the thought of Marissa caused, and then spoke softly just before she loosed.

"Why Mari?" he asked with genuine curiousity.  Of course, the curiousity was regarding Lilly's bringing it up at all, rather than strictly about the question itself, but the obfuscation worked reasonably well and the subtle needle hit it's mark.  Unlike Lilly's arrow, which lodged in the outer white circle of the target and caused her to huff before turning her head to glare at him.  He gave her his best blank ingenuous look, which to be fair was one expression he was perfect at.  "Why should I name it after her?  We're not dating - that seems inappropriate.  It would be like naming it 'Lilly'."

Lilly stared at him, unsure whether he was pulling her leg or not.  Jase wasn't that clueless, was he?  Or was he?  Her own mix of protectiveness towards a friend and some other, less conscious emotions regarding him simply added to the confusion.

"You seem to get along well with her, is all."  And she is nice to you, too.  Don't you notice that? And she's the one that got you to open up - the Mantis got you to walk taller when we've been friends for years.  This is CrazyTown.  Lilly didn't add, squashing down the line of thought before it could clamor too hard to be vocalised.

"I get along well with both Jauntsens.  They are... interesting.  In the same way that you - and the others - are interesting."  Jase stepped up to take a shot, slender muscled arms drawing back the bow and letting fly, scoring a decent hit in the blue.  "And Devin has been very helpful getting the Charger running right.  He has a good ear for imperfections in the engine noise."  Jase took another shot, lining it up smoothly and releasing, lips making a faint line of displeasure as the arrow buried in the white ring.

"Also, Hank and my father helped me get started."  he finished, smiling faintly at her.  "It's a pity Sara has avoided us all summer - she might have enjoyed working with Devin and I.  But yes, I feel I can be myself around Devin and Mari.  It's relaxing."

"You can be yourself around me too, you know."  Lilly tried, and mostly succeeded, in keeping the hurt from her voice.  "I mean, I'm not an idiot.  I know you've got all these layers that none of us knew were there, but you kept yourself hidden for years from your closest friends but opened up to Marissa and Devin?  That kinda bugs me, dude.  I mean, you and Sean did the guy thing and laughed it off, but I guess I'm enough of a girl to be a little hurt."

Jase was still, watching her with his pale green-and-copper eyes gleaming in the sunlight and his head tilted on one side as though considering.

"It was at the party - at trailer after the smilodon attack." he said quietly, meeting her gaze.  "I was shaken up - we all were - and Mari and I connected.  I was freaked a little, and desperately wanted to go through the boxes of files, and she helped me out, talked to me, kept me from disappearing into my own head and blanking out.  She was nice, and on an impulse I opened up to her - and she gave me no cause to regret it."  He sighed, smiling slightly at Lilly.  "If you had been there, it would have been you first, perhaps.  There's a reason I keep my self hidden, Lilly.  I am worried about what people I like will do.  At the time, Marissa and I weren't really friends, and I wasn't really risking anything by telling her.  She couldn't do anything that would hurt me."

He paused, then reached a decision and nodded at her.

"It isn't fair, but emotions are rarely rational or fair.  So let us start over.  If you say you will keep my secret, I will trust you not to break that word lightly."

[Lilly Pryor]

 'If you had been there, it would have been you first, perhaps.' 

The words hurt Lilly more than a bit. She already had enough guilt about running off and 'abandoning' her friends to what would be an eventual smilidon attack, even if it was to go and try and help others. She had left him alone with Sara and Clara, both of whom he barely knew, and Clara's boyfriend or whatever he was who he did not know at all... and Mari. It was like leaving a friend to... something bad. Ugh.

She didn't think, and because of that she had not only abandoned her friends, but also did something colossally stupid by running off into unfamiliar woods, alone, with barely any moon light, toward a gunshot. Even if she got there safely and in time, what the hell was she even gonna do to somebody with a gun other than be another target or, more likely, injury or fatality. 

LIlly sighed and tilted her head down, using the brim of her hat to hide her eyes, which she closed tight as she frowned. Her body seemed to relax. Wait. No. Relax is not the right word. It was more like... relent, however begrudgingly.

"I know. I abandoned you guys to do.. what? Get shot at too? It was stupid. I know. I bailed on you and left you with.. them.. with her. I know that. You don't need to rub it in, dude." she sighed, shaking her head from side to side ever so slightly, her eyes still hidden behind the brim of the hat.

She held the arrow she had been preparing to give to Jason with both hands now, spinning it between her fingers, likely to give her hands something to do.

"Lilly." Jase said as her dramatic shift in demeanor caught his attention. "I didn't mean it like that." she said, trying to clarify.

"Are you sure about that?" she said, lifting her head to look him in the eyes, her own filled with lingering hurt. 

"If I had been there, instead of running off and abandoned you to them, it might have been me." she restated, embellishing a little.

"And you know what, dude? It's not even a matter of it being me. Just as long as it was at least one of your friends... the people who have been there for you for years, put in the work and effort to be your friend and get to know you for years.

You get left with... let's face it, she might be trying to be be a better person now, but at the time she was an stuck up bitch... you get left with her and she is the one you open up to?" 

"Really?" she asked, pausing for a reply but continuing before Jase could say something, tilting her head down to hide her eyes again.

"That hurt, man... a lot.. Still does." she said more softly with the hurt delicately woven through her words as she shook her head a little as she began to twirl the arrow in her left hand like a baton just for something to do, demonstrating impressive manual dexterity for her off-hand.

"And the car? side from maybe Sean, did you ask any of us if we wanted to help?" she asked, lifting her head again to look him in the eyes.

" I know I never got the call., but you sure asked them though." she reminded and looked down the arrow, spinning the arrow between her fingers again.

"In a few days... Hell, in a few minutes really, she or they were or are exerting influence over you. Some of it is good. I mean, I am glad that you are opening up... but it is the why and how and some of the other stuff that I am not so sure about...." Lilly sighed.

[Bannon]

"Lilly."  Jason's tone was equal parts amused and stern, which was rare enough that she peeked out from under the brim of her cap at him.  "I didn't call anyone to help me." he said simply.

"Huh?"

"I said..."

"Yeah, but they... But you..."

"They showed up, saw what I was doing, and hung out.  Devin helped out, Marissa mostly kibitzed and bought the pizza."  Jase stated calmly.  "And I'm not blaming you for that any more than I'm rubbing in the fact that you ran off.  That's in your head, Lilly."  He smiled, a gentle smile with some mild amusement in his eyes, but no mockery.  "I know you have tons of stuff to do to get ready for the school year.  And the rest of the guys too.  Deej and Emjay were free and dropped round.  It's exactly like on the night of the weirdness.  Marissa was there for me.  No-one else was - Clara and Sara and Eddy?  I hardly knew them either, and they were involved with their own concerns.  Marissa saw I was in distress and took my hand."

She considered him, doubt on her lovely face still mingling with the hurt expression in her eyes.  Someone not emotionally disconnected might have hugged the adorable picture to reassure her.

"Seriously.  When have you ever known me to call on anyone for help?"  he asked quietly.  "Ever.  It doesn't occur to me to ask - I am by nature self-contained.  The company of friends is a luxury to me rather than a necessity.  Their help likewise.  I do not expect it, and so I am usually pleasantly surprised when it occurs."

"And as for opening up to Mari when others have been my friend for years?  You are again ignoring the circumstance.  Any of you, at the same moment with the same words, would have cracked my armor open at the moment of stress."  his tone was gently remonstrating.  "The universe, chance, fate - none of those care who was my friend first or longest.  They care who was there at the right time.  And lest you forgot in the throes of guilty angst: I offered, just now, to open up to you."

[Lilly Pryor]

"You know, for claiming it's in my head and that your not rubbing it in, you sure like bringing it up again and again, in very clear, firm terms like 'Marissa was there for me... when no-one else was.'  or whatever.

And it's Deej and Emjay, now? Really?

And news flash. If a girl is taking your hand, smiling and joking with you, showing up unannounced, doing your dishes, bringing you dinner, and is trying to clean you up or whatever, then she sure seems to be hella into you." Lilly said and then shook her head, tilting her head down and sifting her gaze to look down at the arrow she was fiddling with in her hands.

"And that aside you don't even..." Lilly sighed.

"I know you don't ask for help, but you should know by now that you can. But it's not even about helping, really. It is about sharing with friends and spending time together. Like, if I were to restore my truck, everybody would be welcomed to 'help', even though, for example, we both know Charlie is not exactly mechanically inclined. It's not about actual help. It's about sharing the experience, the milestone or whatever, with people close to you. How do you not get that?

Look. You can be friends with whoever you want to be friends with. And yeah, they at least seem to be, on some level trying to change... in their own way, which is good and people deserve a second chance. But that's not the issue. It's just.. it sends a certain message when we hear things like they are the two out here and not any of us. It's like overnight suddenly you are super tight and buddy buddy with them, opening up to them and stuff while your friends, the ones who have been there for years, proving themselves... It's like we're just bumped to make way for "Deej" and "Emjay" Jauntsen." she said, looking him in the eyes before lowering her gaze again.

"It hurts, dude."

"And we've been your friend for years. Never has there been an opportunity to open up with us like you did them them, or her? Never in years? I mean.. it's like you got closer to them in a night than us over years." she said as she looked down at the arrow, thumbing the blunted point of the target arrow.

[Bannon]

She was upset, that much was obvious.  Lilly was normally confident and outgoing - seeing her like this was somewhat of a revelation to Jason.  She was feeling something she wasn't used to, he surmised, and her heart was very much on her sleeve right now.  At least, he thought it was.  It seemed to be.

2 hours ago, Lilly Pryor said:

"..It's about sharing the experience, the milestone or whatever, with people close to you. How do you not get that?"

He pondered those words, turning the sentence and its meanings over in his mind, and found himself curious - and concerned.  Regarding Lilly as she fiddled with the blunt practice arrow, her body language almost huddled, he realised he'd hurt her.  Of course, she'd said he'd hurt her, but this was evidence that supported the words.  Sean had been mildly hurt, but had gotten over it.  Lilly... needed more than a joke and some light bonding from him.  So, despite being one of the guys, she was somewhat feminine too, it seemed.  He made up his mind and stepped forward.

Lilly didn't look up, seeing his feet tucked into half-laced combat boots as he stepped up to stand before her.  She did blink as long, work-roughened fingers gently took the arrow from her and dropped it to one side before taking her hands in his.  He ducked his head slightly, playfully trying to peek under the brim of her hat first on one side then the other until she raised her gaze to meet his.  Once more she was struck by his height - so used was she to him slouching around like there was no spinal column at all in there.  His eyes, pale hazel flecked with copper and pale green, stared deep into her brown ones, searching, appraising with a directness that made her feet shift slightly.

"Did you know I've had a thing for you for a long time?"  he asked calmly, a faint wisp of a smile curving one corner of his mouth.

"N-no..."  she replied, feeling heat spreading across her face.  She didn't feel the heat of the Montana sun right now - it was as though she were standing in the cool shade with him and all the heat was coming from within.

"Silly word for it, really.  'Thing', I mean.  It's like crush. It trivialises feelings of admiration and desire.  'Crush'." he repeated the word somewhat disdainfully.  "I don't think it fits, from what I've read of crushes.  I don't put you on a pedestal or think you can do no wrong, nor do I have a shrine to you in my head.  You're human, warm, funny, kind and beautiful."  He smiled, the corners of his eyes crinkling warmly as his thumbs lightly stroked the backs of her hands.  "And very gentle for someone so strong."

The heat in her face had become a full bore blush.  She could feel it, and knew that he could see it, his eyes briefly studying her features before capturing hers once more.

"Y-you never said anything." she managed in a small voice.  "And you hid it well."

"Thank you.  I tried hard to hide all sorts of things.  For one thing, I wasn't even sure you were interested in dating, or boys.  I was watching for some indication you cared about such traditionally teen pursuits, but no clue came."  He chuckled, a soft low sound.  "Also... There were other considerations."

"Like?"  she asked, examining his face and eyes.  He showed no sign of embarrassment, no awkwardness, just a self-contained confidence that was quiet and still.

"Like the fact that I am incapable of true empathy." he admitted quietly, still meeting her gaze.  She was silent, absorbing that, processing it.

"My mother had me tested when I was eight years old.  My father had been arrested and sent to jail - why and wherefores of that are not important right now.  And I was not reacting... appropriately.  I was never cruel, for example to small animals or other children.  But I was uncaring and lacking in social fear responses, as well as experiencing muted emotions.  The results of the tests, including brain scans, showed anomalies in my brain that are akin to birth defects."  He frowned slightly.  "The technical term is 'factor 1 high-functioning psychopath', at least that is what the doctor uses in his report.  And that was enough for my mother to abandon me to my paternal grandparents and disappear.  I don't match the criteria perfectly, though, which leads me to believe that there are holes in the science - but that also is irrelevant right now."

"The point being, I can care - in a way - for others.  I do care greatly for some people - my father, Hank, Sean... You.  But in answer to your question 'How do I not get it?' - that should provide a clue.  I don't intuitively grasp emotional cues and social bonds.  It takes brain work for me."  He looked down at her hands in his, then back up at her eyes.

"So there it is.  The greatest and deepest secret.  And only you know the full story.  I have the doctor's report, should you want tangible proof.  I kept it from my father, and from the local doctors - my one real fear is being caged and studied, you see.  I've never killed anyone, nor tortured animals.  The closest I came was at the fair when I threatened Cody.  I won't lie - I would have killed him if they had not backed down, but only then.  I control my impulses with rules of my own making, rules that make sense to me."  He tilted his head to one side, regarding her calmly.  "And now you know more than anyone."

With that, his fingers relaxed slightly from around her hands and began to let go, clearly putting the next move in her court.

[Lilly Pryor]

Lilly stood there, more stunned than anything and on a multitude of levels, but the various admissions and revelations brought forth by Jason. It was a lot to process, even as individual statements, but together it was almost bewildering and thought they were making eye contact, her mind drifted off elsewhere as she tried to make sense of what he was saying.

Then she felt his hands beginning to let go of her own. Her gaze snapped down to look at them as it seemed to happen in slow motion. She didn't know what to do as his hands crept open more and more from her perspective. She just stared as his hands slowly opened, paralyzed into inaction by uncertainty and the weight of it all.

Lilly wasn't sure how she felt herself. She did like Jason, he was one of her friends after all, and she had gotten to know him better than almost anybody than maybe Sean. Like, even before these recent changes in Jason they had already been joking for sometime, as she understood his sense of humor and could (usually) tell when he was joking, allowing him to make jokes that might otherwise be a bit too far, because she knew he was just joking or doing some friendly teasing. She had went to the party, even though she really hadn''t wanted too, just to make him happy and show her appreciation for the gesture. She told herself that she would have done the same for any of her friends, but now, what he had said, cast a bit of doubt on that.

Then his hands began to fall away.

Without thinking (because that had always served her oh so well) Lilly put her hands back n his, which caught Jason a little by surprise once his hands had fully released her own. She wasn't entirely sure what she was even doing, if she were honest with herself, but Jason had opened up to her, more than she had ever expected, and she wasn't going to let that fall by the wayside while she worked her own stuff out.

"I..." she said as she lifted her gaze back to his eyes, "I.. don't know what to say.. or do.. or... This is a lot to take in, dude." she finally said with a faintest hint of a smile.

"I mean...You're a good person, Jason. You are. I don't.. I mean, I'm no shrink, but I like to think that I am a pretty good judge of character. I dunno if they are right in their evaluation or whatever, but I think you are a good person. You care about your friends, you can be very thoughtful and you stepped in to help Cora, without hesitation. I mean, the hook.. I dunno if I totally agree with it, but I get it. I do. You were outnumbered and tried to end it quick and without bloodshed. You thought fast and tried to end it... maybe not the best way, but your intention was good." she said, not addressing the other part about actually using the hook, because she was still mentally chewing on that part about possibly actually using it.

"You might not be, I dunno, as expressive as some other people, or most other people, but that is part of what makes you... you. A part of your charm." she explained with a slightly lopsided smile.

"That's not a word I have heard used in reference to me before." Jason said somewhat flatly, though there was the faintest tug at the corners of his mouth.

"Well, it's true. I mean, you act like this loner who doesn't give a damn about anything, but when somebody gets to know they can see you are actually super smart, have an improving taste in music, and are caring, thoughtful, witty, honest..." 

Lilly looked down at her hands in his, though not so much as to hide behind the brim of her hat, and took in a small breath which she slowly exhaled.

"It was just.. I dunno... Marissa got to see that in, like, a night, with, like, no effort on her part. And do you know why?" she asked, still looking down at their hands, though she did not wait for an answer from him, "Because you are a good guy. You were smart and calm and protected them, even risking your life. They probably would not be alive if it weren't for you. That's selfless.. and brave. I dunno what you tell yourself, if anything, but I think you sell yourself short. What you did? That makes you a good person, better than most, actually, which says something...  

And, I dunno... It seemed that night that I couldn't do anything right. I ran off without thinking, had Devin yelling at me all night, wasn't there to help anybody, even Devin.. on and on. I finally show up and see... her and you... Ugh...

She'd always been such a bitch up until then (even if she is slightly less of one now), always looking down on and stepping on them and generally not being a good person. She never put in the effort to know you. It's like she didn't deserve it... deserve to be that close to you. And that made me... I dunno... it made me... I didn't like it. Like I really didn't like it... still don't honestly, even if I am doing my best to give them an honest chance. And then the stuff since? The way she was already at your place and joking and doing dishes for you and hanging out while you worked on the car and all of that... only made it worse." she sighed, closing her eyes and shaking her head a little for a moment.

She then stopped and lifted her head, looking back into Jason's eyes.

"I'm.. I dunno what I'm... or how... I dunno what I'm saying, I guess.. is what I am saying. Shit. I dunno..." she said, hiding behind a half laugh.

"I know I like you too. I mean, I've never really thought about you this way, but then again, I know I sure couldn't see me standing here, like this..." she said, giving his hands a small squeeze as they stood there rather intimately connected, "..with Charlie, or Sean or..." she shuddered, "...Devin." she added.

"But this? I dunno... It certainly doesn't feel.. I dunno... awkward or bad or anything... I feels.. nice." she said, ending with a smiles as the heat returned to her cheeks.

[Bannon]

"It does."  He replied with a smile that reached his eyes, his fingers returning the gentle clasp.  Lilly couldn't help it, she grinned almost goofily as her blush went from neckline to hairline.  His faint warm chuckle at that did not help matters.

"Dude..."  she protested, looking away and smiling sheepishly before glancing sideways at him.  "No fair.  You don't fluster."

"No.  I don't."  he allowed, shrugging casually.  "Life is cruel that way.  But take it from me, internally I'm a wreck."  He added with a faint glimmer of amusement in his gaze.

"Right. Suuuure you are." she giggled, unable to meet his eyes any more.  She dropped her gaze to their hands, shifting her feet, for the first time enjoying the sensation of being out of her depth, a weightless sensation in her stomach.  She was aware she was grinning like a fool and didn't care, that's how good this felt.  He was odd, sure.  But he cared, and was honest, and even if he didn't feel fear the same way, he still risked his life for others who were relative strangers.  She was trying to reconcile Jase the friend with Jase the guy, and was cognizant that they were the same person the whole time.

"Whoooff..."  she breathed out heavily, hoping that would help get rid of the weightless sensation and allow her to think through the mess of teenage hormones currently having a party in her - well, wherever in the brain they had parties.  Jason would probably know.  "Look, Jase, I..."

"Need some time to adjust?" he finished without a trace of disappointment or hurt.  She glanced up at him again, noticing his smile, and nodded mutely.  "I understand."  he nodded back.  "It's a lot, and it all came at you at once.  I imagine even I would want to take time to think about it."

"Yeah... But that's not a, y'know, rejection, okay?"  Lilly ventured, running her thumb over the backs of his hands now.  "Not even close." she said firmly.  An impulse came to her and she went with it before she could think better of it, leaning up on tip-toe and kissing his cheek lingeringly.  "Thank you for telling me." she murmured, noting the scent of motor oil, soap, faint tobacco and growing things that clung to him now seemed to have additional import to her impressions of him.  She sank back down onto her heels, grinning at him, then reached up and ruffled his hair to help cover her own embarrassment.  He let her, smiling as his eyes tracked hers.

"What do you say we get in more practice?"  she asked, bending and picking up her bow and an arrow.  She fancied she could feel his eyes on her, and a quick glance showed that he was, indeed, watching her intently.  The same way he always had, but again - things were different with context.  She coloured a little.

"I think practice is a very good idea."  Jase stated in a low tone, one eyebrow quirking in amusement over his gaze.  So that's what smoldering looks like, Lilly thought as she turned sharply and faced the target.

"I was talking about archery." she said with some emphasis, not letting him see her blush.

"Indeed."  he replied, a word which could mean anything, especially the way he used it.  Goddamn it.  She glanced his way as he moved to stand a little ways off but level with her as she lined up on the target.

"It's nice to finally meet you, Jason Bannon." she smiled, shaking her head.  He flashed a rare grin at her.

"It's nice to be met, Lilly Pryor."

"My middle name is Ann." she returned with a smile that was as wide as the blush on her cheeks.