World of Darkness World of Darkness: Attrition - Vienne's Scrapbook (French) [Complete]

[Vienne Carreau]

2003-2005

Vienne Carreau

Today I had to come back to class after Christmas break. I'm going to wear the scarf Dan gave me. It's beautiful. I've just had the best holiday of my life. I'm going to keep this notebook as a sort of scrapbook to remember it forever. Years later, I'll look back on this and think, "Couldn't I have done something about those thighs?" hah.

Entry 1

This is the scarf from Dan. I tend to wear this around my neck. It's chiffon so I can roll it and tie my hair with it. I like to wrap it around me, too. It looks best around my neck b/c of my complexion & hair color. I love it! I love it! I love it!

Right now I'm back at home visiting during my first winter break from college. Dan is hard to say goodbye to twice, but I guess there's really no choice. We were sweethearts in our Junior year, but he's going to Toronto U and I'm going to UCLA now. We still visit on breaks.

Dan Statton, 2001, Alaska holiday

UCLA is beautiful, my mother loves it, I love it.

Sociology Dept.

I still miss Dad on Christmas. He hasn't seen UCLA and probably never will. Since he split with mom he won't even speak English anymore. Next Christmas I'll probably go see him.

I miss Rool, he was our baby. Dad's taking good care of him and remembers to take him to the beach. It was our special place.

Rool, Utah Beach, Normandy Summer 2003

Mom went to a Christmas party on Christmas Eve and left the houseguests to me and Dan. She doesn't really say much since she left dad. I think she sees him in my face.

[Vienne Carreau]

October 28th, 2004

Back at home for my birthday. Luckily it's during Midterm break so I can go home to study and get away from campus. The insecurity level is high there due to social pressure, but we Sociology buffs are immune. Ha! I think I'll wear cookie-scented perfume just to get the anorexics to indulge a little this Christmas.

I'm 19 today! Almost old enough to buy beer, but still old enough to get into most clubs. YAY! Two more years to go then I can get into more places around Hollywood!

Mom's gone to Burbank to see Aunt Claire. She's where I get my middle name from. She's a wonderful woman, but she's on her last legs and I can't say goodbye like that. She was very cool about it on the phone. She said "You can say goodbye at my funeral," but in a nice way. She was really understanding. I'm going to miss her. I'm worried about how mom is. She's losing her sister a couple years after leaving dad. She's really quiet and we don't really see each other much.

Dan called to wish me a happy birthday. I wore the scarf for him and sent him a pic. He has a new girlfriend. Her name is Sarah, she's from Quebec. !! He said he'll never forget his first kiss, though. And his first love!!! Why do men never say things they need to say when it will make a difference? Of course, now I'm cool with it, but I was inconsolable this morning. Feeling sorry for myself on my birthday is no way to be spending it, so I went through my old things. I found pictures of Dan and me from back in the day. I put them up to some taken for dad more recently. I don't really look the same anymore. At any rate, I decided to scrapbook again so here it is!

I refuse to put any pics in here of me from high school, though. Never. Ever. Evereverevereverever.

Here's a birthday card from dad:

My dear little Vienne, she reminded me of you so I hope you don't mind me sending this. Be well love and watch out for boys. Father

Mom left me a card on the dining table, it was really beautiful. I think she gets sentimental on my birthday because she seems sad.

[Vienne Carreau]

January 2005

It's nearly term time again and I'm finally back at UCLA. I just HAD to write something. I met the coolest people over the winter. I got more hours at the Café Detoile now that I'd been out of class. Angela is SO cool people. She introduces me to big shots you'd never expect to find in a simple little place like that. I mean, everything in Hollywood has its pizzaz -that's just Hollywood, but this place is where you'd find students and businessmen having a coffee or eating breakfast I guess. At night, it's a very exclusive sort of crowd for early evening dining. Still, I don't expect to meet people like Bernardo fricken Bertolucci! She knows them all through working with that at some time or another and lots because they come to the cafe. She was a hot actress in the 60's, but now she just does these crappy B movies like Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers or whatever. I don't watch her stuff, but there's this picture of her behind the counter next to Michael Caine in Nice. She's wearing a huge head scarf and a big hat with those expensive looking sunglasses. She's so glamorous!

She hooked me up with this photographer, Sanford. Yeah, I know, weird name. San's one of those upper class graduates that is really thoughtful and open minded. Angela has been practically shoving us together. Angela's always trying to get me to go out with the guys she knows. She's practically dressing me in her old wardrobe from she was my age now.

San now throws me in the studio whenever I'm not working or in class now. He is very distracting, so I don't mind all the responsibilities. I have the BIGGEST crush on this guy. He says if I'm very good and let him shoot more of me, he'll take me to an industry garden party to show me off. He has this thing about photographing portraits of all kinds of people in all states of emotion. His studio is really fascinating. I'm nervous about telling mom. He treats me like a lady and never does anything sleazy. I feel special when I'm with him, because he's interested in me like Dan never was.

We did some with me in subtle makeup, without color, or background in standard lighting, then with makeup + clever lighting:

I'm just afraid I'll get an invoice in the mail!

Mom says she doesn't mind me staying to work through Christmas, but I wonder if that's the case.

[Vienne Carreau]

March 2005

Graduation is approaching fast and I am working hard on my dissertation. Sociology is the best thing I could have ever done for myself. I feel set free, able to look at cultures and social sciences with an open mind. I'm a people watcher, trying to figure why they do the things they do. Society is less like a herd and more like the wake of a ripple in a tide. Abstracting is ironically necessary for classification ease, but it seems almost arbitrary.

When it's over I'll miss Professor Brandau's lectures. But not Murand's. TOTAL. PRICK. I've already garnered interest in a Seattle based company called Temrick Support Services, Inc. I've always wanted to go to Seattle!

It'll be hard to tear myself away from Hollywood, though. San won an award! With a portrait he did of me! He paid me to take a few more playful shots in color on a couple of nights out and Angela dressed me. Her man did my hair. I kind of like it like that. I might do that more often. Makes me look like I'm part of swanky society haha.

[Vienne Carreau]

June 2005

I MADE San and Angela come to the after party post-graduation ceremony.

[PROGRAMME PAGE]

2005 Sociology Ceremony

17 June

7PM Dickenson Auditorium

{continues...}

Angela had her guy do my hair again, she dressed me -I'm loving this life! San didn't take photos, but Angie snapped one of us that I LOVE. San's my #1 Man even if he isn't interested in women in THAT way.

God of Photography.

I did meet this wonderful guy though. He loves to paint, but his dad's into the hotel chain business, so he's got to have a job in that no matter how much he hates it. His name's Raphael, isn't that romantic? And loves to paint? I think he some kind of reincarnation of a Renaissance artist. I sat for him once and it was so uncomfortable, he had to settle for a photo to finish the painting. The position was really hard to hold without getting a backache. His work is incredible, he sells it on the side, but he doesn't tell his family. They all live here in Hollywood, apparently. Very posh! I'm sad to say goodbye to my wonderfully talented friends. I will, above all, miss Angela. Without her, I'd never have met one of these fabulous souls and she herself, being the most glamorous of all. She has such a wonderful smile and I will miss her.

I'll have to visit when I can. I'm going to Seattle, as it stands. I got the job! It's entry level pay, but it's something and there's something in Seattle for everyone.

R. Caravejo

[Vienne Carreau]

July 2005

Angela isn't what I thought she was... she's so very much more than that.

She's all I need.

Fuck Seattle, I'm staying. I had to say goodbye to San, he couldn't know I've stayed behind. Angela needs it to be that way. I miss his work. I miss my friends. But I have all I need now.

Bye mom. Haha.

The Mojo, W Hotel, Westwood

1 week ago

I'm not me anymore.