[Fiction] Understanding

[Singularity]

Dense vegetation covers the low hills, creating a mosaic of lush colors and life. Teak mingles with rough undergrowth, providing countless of hiding holes for the equally numerous insects and animals living in the rainforest, even this late into the dry season. Sunlight slips between a few breaks in the canopy to fill the thick jungle air with glowing shafts of floating particles and to paint slowly dancing shadows on the rare patches of exposed dirt.

Some of these spaces between the trees, however, are not the result of random growth. The rough hewn stones are barely visible beneath the thick vines covering them, as if the rainforest has spent hundreds of years slowly integrating the blocks into the natural landscape, and whatever pattern they once formed is now indistinguishable. The only remaining evidence of human hands choosing this particular location is the incredible view of the foothills of Cadamom Mountain through the breaks in the trees created by the stones.

A new and faster moving shadow floats through and past the dancing shadows on the floor of the rainforest and hardened feet follow right behind it. A relaxed smile crosses Singularity’ face when the covered stones from into his vision; it’s been over five years since he been to this place, leaving a swath of destruction in his and his enemy’s wake, and almost all signs of their presence had disappeared. Bare feet continue to pad over the exposed dirt and through the low foliage, bringing the nova up close to the vine-covered blocks.

A hand reaches out to push aside a pair of thinner vines, revealing a weathered indentation not much larger than the hand exposing it. This is the right place, down to the stones and the errant hand-hold, which means he should meet his “guest” soon enough. Turning to look out onto the valley, Singularity leans a bare shoulder against the long forgotten wall to wait…

[Fracture]

Pushing through some of the vines and branches, a figure comes into view a few meters to Singularity's right. Dressed in a heavy black robe, with a large hood pulled over the head, the figure moves into the area of stones.

"Interesting place," a feminine voice says quietly from beneath the hood. "When you sent me the coordinates of this location, I didn't know what to expect. This is, well, charming enough."

As she moves closer, her black hair is visible against the fabric of the robe, spilling out from the hood on both sides of her head. She also wears dark glasses, completely obscuring her eyes, and long black gloves that cover hand, wrist, and forearm. The pale skin of her face is the only thing that can be seen, and just barely, from under hood itself.

"Quite impressive," she continues. "Next time, though, let's meet somewhere that has tea or coffee."

[Singularity]

Despite their age and weathering, the stones hold fast as Singularity pushes away from them to face the newcomer. His only article of clothing, a simple and gray pair of Bermuda shorts contrast, with the Terat’s dark robes, the Eufiber’s light color almost looking alive in the sunlight and leaving most of the ex-elite’s body exposed. “Namaste and greetings,” he smiles, tilting his head with the welcome, “I appreciate you taking the time to meet with me.”

He looks back to the break in the trees briefly, watching the lazily moving branches with a relaxed sigh, “This place has barely been touched by human hands outside these stones, despite the drive for teak furniture before both of us were born.” The tanned and hairless hand brushes against the indentation on the stone again, “The Khmer Rouge didn’t alter it when they fled from the Vietnamese… and even the damage caused by a few novas years ago has faded from view.” Turning back to Fracture, he gives her an apologetic smile while holding up his palms, “But you’re right; it does lack in beverage options. Of course, I wasn’t certain how private you wanted to be about things.”

Nodding towards a pair of low blocks, Singularity continues, “Please, sit. Unless you want to go somewhere a little more civilized, I’m sure we can find just as much privacy with some coffee and tea as well.”

[Fracture]

"Namaste and greetings?" She looks up curiously. "Interesting."

She makes the gesture of hands folded just below the chin.

"Namaste, and it is my pleasure."

She moves to the low blocks, folding her legs under her as she sits quasi-lotus style upon one of them. She wears black slacks as always, and takes a moment to be sure the long robe is spread over her limbs as much as possible. Another moment is spent to adjust the heavy hood over her head, so that her features remain heavily in shadow.

(to his suggestion of going elsewhere)

"No, no, that's not necessary. Here is a good a location as any. It has some personal significance to you, I'm assuming?

[Singularity]

Sitting down on the other block with characteristic inhuman grace, he shrugs at her question while she finishes settling, "After a fashion. I found this place by chance when I was still an elite and it's remained 'lost' to the rest of the world." He looks back to the larger blocks, "Myself and some elite who's name I never got crashed through a gigantic teak that stood about twenty meters from there before I launched him into the valley... there's still an indentation on the wall from where I put my hand against it but everything else seems to have recovered since then."

Silver eyes return to the robed nova and he smiles with that odd sense of calm, "I didn't care much for the beauty of this place at the time, like many places, but I've spent the last two years finding 'insignificant' places from my memory to see how they've changed. I've always been rather pleased to see nature wipe away the scars I had left behind.

"But it's been very... edifying to see these places again with a different perspective. It always highlights how a state of mind can shape one's existence."

[Fracture]

Fracture smirks, her lips smoothly sliding into a slight grin. "Mind shaping existence. That's ironicly appropriate. I'd almost think you were just playing with me."

"Still, of all the places you could have chosen to meet, you picked this one. Was it really just a desire for privacy? I hope I'm not prying too much."

[Singularity]

"Privacy was the primary reason," Singularity shrugs while pulling up his legs to the block with a single, lithe motion, "But I do like to visit places I stomped through when I was a younger nova for the very reason to see how I view them with a different perspective. When I look back at things, I'm amazed at how oblivious many elites are to the incredible places they visit; it's just another spot on the map to forget." He arches his eyebrows at her with a look of mock conspiracy and a hint of humor, "Which means they will never find us."

Tilting his head slightly to the side, his expression changes easily to one of curiosity and interest, "I don't mind the questions, but I would ask why you might think that I was playing you."

[Fracture]

She folds her gloved hands gently in her lap as Singularity sits near her.

"Well," she begins, "you said it's interesting to observe how mind shapes existence. For a follower of Teras, that's very much a truth and not just a quotable phrase. Depending on whom you ask, our evolution is any number things. Destiny is often quoted, for example. What you think of as yourself now is simply the raw marble, destiny is the sculptor, and Teras is the hammer and chisel. You become what you are meant to become, what you were always meant to become. Essentially, that perspective would say that Shrapnel is a creature of flame and slag because that's what she was meant to be all along, and Teras merely helped her to discover it."

"However," she continues, "if you ask another, they might say that isn't the case at all. You are the sculptor, Teras is your tool, and the finished sculpture your destiny. In this, you shape your evolution. Consciously or subconsciously, it doesn't matter. You're the one guiding it and making it progress along. In this, Shrapnel is fire and slag because that's exactly what she wanted to become, either at the fore of her desires or buried somewhere inside."

"Part of Teras is accepting that you are going to change. You must change. Quantum will, in time, leave its mark on you and really you can't stop that if you want to grow in strength and surpass your current limitations. So maybe Shrapnel wanted to become what she is, or, perhaps, knowing that change was inevitable this is the form she guided that change to take. Subconsciously or consciously. You hear about novas complaining that they have aberrated, but they aberrate because they are fighting the process. They believe Taint is a mutation, something that is the result of negative influences or whatever it is they blame it on. But that's not the truth. The truth is, things happen to them that they don't want because they are resisting their evolution. They're fighting so hard to remain as baseline as possible that the change happens regardless and has to take some form, and since the nova doesn't want to change, they can't shape the change. It happens whether they want it or not, and then they complain about what's happened as though the universe was unfair to them. But they are making the choice to fight the change, and so it the change happens in ways they don't want."

She looks over to him. "So that's what I mean. The mind does shape existence. When you said that, it sounded like you already knew what I came here to tell you, and were just testing me."

[Singularity]

The interested and curious look remains on Singularity’s face as he listens to Fracture’s words, holding so still it’s easy to forget he’s animate. When she clarifies, his impassive face shifts into a relaxed smile, “Ah, I see what you mean. And, to be obvious, I didn’t know what you were going to say.

“But,” he says, his face the only part of him truly moving, “I do find what you said to be quite interesting. I entirely agree with the general principle that the state of our minds alters our own existence, that it’s not just a quotable phrase. And I agree we are all changing; all things change in time, it’s the nature of existence, for lack of a better term. However…”

Silver orbs seemingly unfocus for a moment, despite lacking irises or pupils, “What I’ve learned about exploring my own taint and how I interact with the reality around me has left me wondering about how we change in the ways you mentioned. When I reach out with quantum in certain ways or when I push my abilities to their limit, it’s as if some of the energy I’m trying to harness is being wasted or left behind inside of me. Much like how an engine creates heat in addition to turning an axle; the inefficient conversion of energy. I eschewed any thoughts of still being a baseline even before I had my change of heart, yet the waste - the taint still leaves behind a signature I can see in myself as well as many others… But when I look at you or other Terats, I see something different along with that signature. It’s left me interested if whether you or others had a more efficient, for lack of a better term, way of interacting with reality.” The small smile resurges on his face again, “And something tells me your philosophy has something to do with it.”

[Fracture]

She nods every now and then as Singularity speaks, affirming points here and there.

"The simple acceptance that you aren't a baseline isn't enough, obviously. Were it only as simple as that. Accepting is a vital part of it, but it is only part of it. If you've already accepted that truth then you're farther along than most. As with all, well, life-changing decisions, it's one thing to casually believe something and quite another to have the conviction to not fear it or what it'll bring."

"What you're looking at is how we channel what others call Taint, or if you prefer, how we focus it. I'm sure, given your time around the forums, the term Chrysalis has come up before."

[Singularity]

"But what is acceptance if you fear what you've accepted," Singularity asks while tilting his head to the other side, "How can someone fear what they welcome and affirm?

"And I've heard the term Chrysalis in the past... it's intriguing to look see how it's affected how you interact with reality."

[Fracture]

It is her turn to tilt her head, apparently surprised by the question.

"Well," she begins, "a nova can know that they're not human, and yet, fear this. What does it mean to not be human? We yell and scream at each other on the forums about this endlessly, and there isn't a single concrete answer anyone's been able to offer. Accepting the truth of it doesn't mean you're not scared of the implications or even the consequences. Knowing that you will change, unavoidably, accepting that it will happen, doesn't mean you still don't fear the form the change will take or hold tight to the hope that it will not happen at all. Surely, you understand this? Being forewarned is not being forearmed, and knowing something is about to happen doesn't mean you'll be happy with the outcome when it does. Therein lies fear."

[Singularity]

Metallic eyebrows raise up, "Knowledge of the future doesn't remove fear of the future,in that I agree. But acceptance goes beyond mere knowledge, no matter how complete the knowledge is. To accept something, to truly do that, is to make peace with all aspects of it. Fear may be something universal to all forms of sentience, but it seems counterintuitive to incorporate a truth or a concept or a fact into your reality while still being ruled by a fear."

He levels his head back out with a small smile, "Perhaps we're defining acceptence in different ways..."

[Fracture]

She pauses, looking over at him with tight lips through the lenses of her very dark glasses.

After a slight chuckle, she rubs her temple through the hood and finally replies, "Words often have more than one definition or meaning, even within a single language. Samhra would be the first to lecture us both on that, I'm certain. The word acceptance has many accepted definitions, all of which are perfectly acceptable, and most people are perfect accepting of."

She smirks and sticks her tongue out playfully.

[Singularity]

Sharing the feeling of humor, Singularity grins as his shoulders roll from a silent chuckle, "Indeed, and I'm sure we can both accept that.

"Apologies: I do understand what you mean. For me, if I accept something and allow it into the core of myself then why fear it? Truth and the future simple are, they're not meant to be feared. Or, rather, not the focus of a life-altering fear.

"But you're quite right; most people can and do accept things they still fear. More importantly, I understand that accepting but fearing isn't the state of mind that... shapes existence in the way you speak of. So, embracing one's nature and the natural consequences of being a nova are apart of Teras, yes? Is this Chrysalis related?"

[Fracture]

Fracture nods, "Of course. Accepting what you are, embracing the future to come, setting aside your fear of change, and indeed, choosing to go forward with it; that's all part of Teras. People read the Null Manifesto and think, "Oh, that's what the Teragen believe! It must be Teras, and if I follow it, it makes me a Terat!"

She shakes her head with a smile. "I'm not trying to undercut Mal's speech, but Teras has forever been confused with the Manifesto even though some parts of one do relate to the other. Teras is so much more than the Manifesto. The Manifesto might lead you to Teras, but Teras will lead you to Chrysalis."

"Chrysalis is many things, Singularity. It will forever change you once you decide that it is what you desire. It is a path to power and also a path to purity. It will forever sever you from the world of the non-quantum born and place you firmly within that of the quantum-born. Yes, as you've already surmised, it can aid in dealing with Taint, but it isn't a cure or a treatment. I don't want you assuming any of that."

[Singularity]

Singularity smiles and his shoulders straighten out with a measure of excitement, "A cure or a treatment isn't why I'm here nor exploring myself; Dr. Smith can be the one to look down that path. But I'm not seeking power for the sake of power and I'm not seeking power; I'm seeking harmony within myself and with reality. Rather, I'm seeking to be closer to myself, to be one with all of my aspects instead of only some of my aspects. However, that's not a very elegant or precise way to describe it.

"I understand that purity and power can come with the path of Teras and Chrysalis, much like how finding peace in a martial art can come with formidable physical prowess. But I need to express that I left behind the single-minded pursuit of power when I retired as an elite. That was a folly of mine in the past and one I do not intend to repeat."

[Fracture]

She looks at him a long moment, and nods.

"Well," she begins, "good. Because if that's all you were looking for I'd have told you to look elsewhere for assistance. Seeking Chrysalis for power's sake is risky; Taint isn't something to be careless with even after you learn how to channel it into something useful."

[Singularity]

"I agree," he nods in return with the rest of his body retaining that eerie stillness, "There are so many examples of taint resulting from hubris and other things.

"But, I'm intrigued as to the reason behind why I'm here with you. From what I've gathered and been told, there are different but general... approaches to Teras. I've been pointed in your direction because of your approach to Teras, but might I hear your description of it from you?"

[Fracture]

"My view," she confesses, "isn't popular. That stands to reason, since my teacher imparted her ideas on to me and I couldn't help but be influenced by them. And as she wasn't the most popular with her views..."

"Teras is rooted in three paths, which you've probably heard of by now. Marvel, Monster, and the one I follow, Portent. You've doubtlessly seen the Marvels, like Procyon, or the Monsters, like Apep. The Portents are lesser known, but we're starting to become more numerous."

She folds her hands in her lap. "One of the first things Ashnod ever said to me when she began instructing me was - well, before I tell you this, I don't mean to speak ill of Samhra, but I have the feeling you might take it that way. Ashnod sat me down, much like you and I are now, and said, "Please do not misunderstand, some of our brothers and sisters walk these paths well and as they have progressed along them, they may have answers regarding how to walk them that I do not possess. This is only how I feel, as a follow of the Portent path, with my limited understanding.

"However, as I see it, following the Monster and Marvel paths, ultimately, are foolish choices for our brothers and sisters to make. Stop and consider what exactly a Marvel is. One who seeks to rise above others, to shine more brightly or awe simply by their being. In time, they may achieve that end, and be that shining star. Then, consider the Monster, and what it is. The mirror opposite of the Marvel, the Marvel's dark reflection. Not a star that doesn't shine, but one that casts shadow. The Marvel inspires worship, the Monster fear. The Monster terror, the Marvel adoration.

"But what do these two things have in common? Something lesser than themselves. A Marvel requires something to shine brighter than, and the Monster requires something to fear its shadow. Both paths require you to measure yourself against something else. For now, our brethren are content to have that measuring stick be the baseline nation. Soon, I am certain, the Marvel and the Monster will have little choice but to use those novas who follow their own path, yet to advance to their level, as their measuring stick. Good can come of this, of course, as it is not a poor thing to inspire your lessers if it leads them to progress themselves. Ultimately, though, since Teras is a personal evolution, being dependant on anything external of yourself as the target you must somehow exceed requires you to have something to exceed. Something to shine brighter than, something to fear your shadow. This is a very limiting, and in my opinion, also a very prideful and selfish path to follow.

"This is not so with the Portents. We seek only to best our own limitations. We seek our answers and our power by looking inward, not externally. I judge my progress only against myself. I gain my satisfaction not in how others think of me but in surpassing limitations that I once found daunting or insurmountable. I take my victories in the knowledge and enlightenment this progress grants me, not in besting or surpassing another. Not in inspiring others or causing them to fear me."

[Singularity]

Singularity listens intently as Fracture recounts her mentor's statements, again refraining from interjecting or interrupting while remaining tranquilly immobile. "I had suspected there was a distinction in that fashion," he nods when she's finished, "And I can certainly understand how such a view would alienate others and that it's not ill will directed to Samhra. Like you and Ashnod, I've come to learn that my personal development doesn't rely others being in awe or fearful of me and that the path of a Marvel or a Monster would be foolish for me. But in the interest of completeness, I don't necessarily find it foolish for others to follow such paths. If that path is who they are.

"Regardless," he smiles appreciatively again, "I think your mentor did a very good job of explaining where the Portent path diverges from the others in a succinct fashion. I agree with many of the general ideas you've told me about your view and the Portent path; however I'm concerned that some of your choices of words gives your path a sense of conquering or commanding your existence. Could you elaborate more on the core of your path?"

[Fracture]

She laughs, causing some of her long hair to spill out over her face. Carefully, she pulls it back behind her ears without removing her hood.

"I don't really see that as something to be concerned about," she smiles, "but it's hardly the only way Portents develop. Portents tend to be a more diverse lot than the others, since we tend to define what the parameters of our paths are with more freedom than the other two. You don't really have to take command of your existence, or conquer it per say. I don't really feel like I do anything in that vein. The core of what we do, if you need it defined as such, is exploration. We want to see what is beyond our limitations, beyond our imaginations even, if you want to look at it that way. Beyond what we can currently do. That does require a certain determination which might be misconstrued as control or command."

[Singularity]

"Indeed," Singularity nods again slowly in agreement, "Intense focus and dedication can be easily misread or misunderstood. And I appreciate your clarification; the distinction you made is definitely an encouraging one."

The serene smile remains on his face, matched by the relaxed yet inquisitive tone of his voice, "Exploration is very close to what I have been seeking. However, in the interest of completeness, harmony is my primary focus and not exploration. Obviously, finding harmony with the universe does follow much of the same path as exploration of our nature as novas and of our continuing evolution, but they do diverge in some places.

"What you've told me has stoked my interest and I'm certainly wanting to continue, but I need to ask if my own focus of achieving harmony will conflict with the guidance you can provide? Specifically, that while encouraging my evolution might be a tool towards reaching my goal, harmony with the universe is my ultimate focus and not the continual and endless exploration of my personal evolution. Assuming, of course, novas like our selves do not need to consistently evolve to reach harmony with existence."

His jaw opens quickly for a beat before his shoulders rock a few times in a silent chuckle, "And, of course, would there be any conflict caused by me not necessarily subscribing to the statement that novas are inherently superior to all other forms of life?"

[Fracture]

She considers this for a moment, again adjusting the hood on her cloak with her gloved hands.

"Allow me to play Yoda for a moment. It is my opinion that harmony can come through understanding. Understanding comes from desire from the desire to know. That desire stems from a feeling of incompleteness or disconnectedness. Or, lack of harmony."

She smiles. "That's my opinion, obviously. I think I've confused the issue somewhat. I don't think constant evolution is necessary for harmony with the world, but novas lead a dynamic life. We are changing, Taint is but a part of that change. It's not always going to be coming at a headstrong pace; like any path there will be moments of rest and even divergence. But if you're hoping to reach a final evolution, where not only is harmony achieved but the unyielding dynamic quality of nova existence is halted, in another words an end to Taint, I can't promise that. I'm certainly not saying it is impossible, but none that I know have reached such as state...not even Mal."

To his last statement, she smirks. "Perhaps you might explain your viewpoints on that a bit more before I end up eating my toes."