[Fiction] First of Three

[Ptesan-Wi]

I am first of three.

This isn't quite what I had expected when I met Wakinyan for the first time. Nor is it what I had expected when he took me as his mate.

Not that he hadn't explained it to me. Wakinyan never minced words about his varied needs, even at the start. The spectre of Apep was always present, even if she was not. The abortive efforts he had made with Carver - and briefly with Selina - reinforced his words. But so long as it wasn't actually happening, so long as the various women who caught his eye weren't here, it was something I could push to the back of my mind for the most part.

That's not the case anymore. There are moments now when I feel completely adrift, where my world seems to be spinning out of control.

The business with Silvertalon is at least understandable, in a way. She's a beast, in every sense of the word. Because of what she is, she makes just about the perfect physical mate for Wakinyan. The relationship between them is physical first and foremost; she can provide him with release and maybe even a nova lineage...neither of which I can really give him. I think because of those differences, I don't have a great deal of trouble accepting her.

But Endeavor is a different matter. She's not as fragile as I am, but Wakinyan would still hurt her as much as he could me if he went at her with abandon. The drive between them isn't physical; it's emotional, and it shows. They've known each other almost as long as he has been a nova - three or four times as long as he has known me. They started with friendship, and it blossomed and grew into something so much more...and I feel threatened by her. There's nothing I can give him that she can't give him better, and I really fear that day that he comes to the same conclusion.

I am first of three...but for how long?