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BlueNinja

New Definitions

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Non-musicians probably won't understand all of these.

> ALLREGRETTO: When you're 16 measures into the piece and realize

you

> took too fast a tempo

>

> ANGUS DEI: To play with a divinely beefy tone

>

> A PATELLA: Accompanied by knee-slapping

>

> APPOLOGGIATURA: A composition that you regret playing

>

> APPROXIMATURA: A series of notes not intended by the composer, yet

> played with an "I meant to do that" attitude

>

> APPROXIMENTO: A musical entrance that is somewhere in the vicinity

of

> the correct pitch

>

> CACOUGHANY: A composition incorporating many people with chest

colds

>

> CORAL SYMPHONY: A large, multi-movement work from Beethoven's

Caribbean

> Period

>

> DILL PICCOLINI: An exceedingly small wind instrument that plays

only

> sour notes

>

> FERMANTRA: A note held over and over and over and over and . . .

>

> FERMOOTA: A note of dubious value held for indefinite length

>

> FIDDLER CRABS: Grumpy string players

>

> FLUTE FLIES: Those tiny mosquitoes that bother musicians on outdoor

gigs

>

> FRUGALHORN: A sensible and inexpensive brass instrument

>

> GAUL BLATTER: A French horn player

>

> GREGORIAN CHAMP: The title bestowed upon the monk who can hold a

note

> the longest

>

> GROUND HOG: Someone who takes control of the repeated bassline and

won't

> let anyone else play it

>

> PLACEBO DOMINGO: A faux tenor

>

> SCHMALZANDO: A sudden burst of music from the Guy Lombardo band

>

> THE RIGHT OF STRINGS: Manifesto of the Society for the Prevention

of

> Cruelty to Violists

>

> SPRITZICATO: An indication to string instruments to produce a

bright and

> bubbly sound

>

> TEMPO TANTRUM: What an elementary school orchestra is having when

it's

> not following the conductor (also common in municipal bands and

> community orchestras)

>

> TROUBLE CLEF: Any clef one can't read: e.g., alto clef for pianists

>

> VESUVIOSO: An indication to build up to a fiery conclusion

>

> VIBRATTO: Child prodigy son of the concertmaster

>

> AN-DANTE: A tempo that's infernally slow

>

> ANTIPHONAL: Referring to the prohibition of cell phones in the

concert

hall

>

> BAR LINE: What musicians form after the concert

>

> BASSO CONTINUO: When musicians are still fishing long after the

legal

> season has ended

>

> BEN SOSTENUTO: First cousin of the second trombonist

>

> CADENZA: Something that happens when you forget what the composer

wrote

>

> CANTABILE: To achieve a complaining sound, as if you have a sour

stomach

>

> COL LEGNO: An indication to cellists to hold on tight with their

lower

> extremities

>

> CON SORDINO: An indication to string players to bow in a slashing,

> rapier motion

>

> ESPRESSIVO: Used to indicate permission to take a coffee break

>

> L'ISTESSO TEMPO: An indication to play listlessly; e.g., as if you

don't

> care

>

> MAESTRO: A person who, standing in front of the orchestra and/or

chorus,

> is able to follow them precisely

>

> OPERA BUFFA: A musical stage production performed by nudists

>

> PASTORALE: The beverage to drink in the country when listening to

> Beethoven with a member of the clergy

>

> PESANTE: An effect distinctly non-upper-class

>

> PISSICATO: Too much coffee -- time to take a break

>

> RUBATO: A cross between a rhubarb and a tomato

>

> STRINGENDO: An unpleasant effect produced by the violin section

when it

> doesn't use vibrato

>

> VIBRATO: A device to assist performers who have trouble when the

music

> is marked "con espressivo"

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