Mutants & Masterminds Mutants & Masterminds: The Unlikely Prophets - April Fool's 2010: The Order-Enforcin' Five

[Charlotte]

Suddenly, with the ease that some men might burst through a wall:

Some men (and one woman) crashed through the wall!

"My glasses make me smart enough to tell that the odds are against you!"

"I'm green and that makes me the broody outsider."

"I'm probably gonna die first. Guess why."

"I'm going to hit you with magic lipstick and other empowering things!"

"And I'll form the - wait, sorry, I mean I'm the leader, and together, we are - "

The five of them went into a fighting stance, their hands making "whoosh" noises, until you realize that they were making the noises with their mouths. A sunburst bloomed behind them.

Click to reveal..

Not one damn post for the day of April 1st will be considered 'official.' Go nuts, you crazy diamonds.

* world's oldest sound effect! Take a bow!

[z-Gloom]

Gloom blinked and stared at the strange people standing in front of them. "Uh," she said brilliantly, her eyes wide. "So... where is that sunburst coming from?"

As an experiment, just to see, she stepped up to the man clad in red and pushed on his shoulder. He swayed and said, "Hey!" His whooshing noises stopped.

" 'Hey' what?" Gloom asked.

"You can't push me!" he protested.

As an experiment, she pushed his other shoulder, making him sway that way. "Oh," she said in her best cop voice, "it appears that I can. And I can do this."

With a wide grin, she grabbed him and pulled him into her shadow. There was a faint scream and he was gone. "That's fun," she chuckled.

[Necronaut]

"Wait, what?" There was a more-awkward-than-usual pause as Norman examined this fresh new horror. A few rusty switches in his brain clicked into place as he reformulated his response.

"I mean... nobody enforces the Order while I'm around! Least of all five..." he cringed at Gloom's dreadfully effective assault "...I mean four color-coordinated clowns like you!" The Necronaut struck a defiant pose and cried out mightily "Dusknoir, I choose you!"

He reached into the netherworld, groped around for a moment, and finally pulled out a small spherical mass of nether-stuff, which he hurled at the interloping enforcers! As it flew through the air it unfurled into a hideous manifestation of of the horrific terminus of life and the bleak eternity of writhing formless darkness that awaits us all when our frail mortality finally crumbles!

Unfortunately it was only about the size of a softball. Heedless of the odds, it began gnawing gleefully on the blue enforcer's ankle.

The Necronaut Glared. His left eye ticked under his mask. He was not going to let Gloom show him up. "You think that's the worst I can do!? I am the Necronaut! Death is on my speed-dial! We hang out! I'm like 'Death, yo, we should hang out!' and death is like 'Yeah, cool!'" The Necronaut trailed off, as it dawned his heroic banter was degrading into heroic ranting.

It was time for action. He struck another heroic pose (actually the same one as before, but he hoped nobody would notice) and cried out with just a hint of trepidation "BEETLEJUICE BEETLEJUICE BEETLEJUICE!"

Everything went still. Crickets chirped somewhere in the distance. Then suddenly an indistinct form began to phase into view. It was hazy and misshapen, but just human enough in form to emphasize the horror of its necromantic state. It's massive, bulbous head cast around slowly, it's huge blue/gray eyes full of... something not quite as close to eternal fury as Necronaut had been hoping.

"You're not Beetlejuice."

"Nope, he couldn't make it." The spectral abomination replied cheerfully. "I'm Casper. Will you be my friend?"

The Necronaut deflated for a split second. But then, a final glimmer of hope... he took a step back and pointed at the blue enforcer with all of the menace he could muster (not much at this point) and uttered lowly. "Where's your Christmas cheer?!"

And that was all it took. The rattling of chains filled the room as an ancient, desiccated corpse, outfitted in funereary robes and wrapped in the metal bindings of a life of ill-gotten gains solidified into full horrific corpreality. Jacob Marley sent a mass of chains whirling at the Blue Enforcer, groaning out grotesquely "Beatings will continue until Christmas Spirit improves!"

"Yeah. That's what I'm talking about. I'm a dangerous guy. I..."

The Necronaut cut off as he did a double take at Casper, who was still hovering nearby with an expectant look on his face. He sighed in exasperation. "Yes. I'll be your friend."

[Radiance]

Hikari smiled. She'd wanted to be able to do this since she was a little girl. She went back behind everyone and returned to her smaller normal form.

She held up her hand and with a mighty call shouted "Luminous Crystal Activate!" The whole room was bathed in light as a rainbow of light washed over her. Her shoulder length brown hair lengthened and spread behind her, changing to blonde. Only her bright blue eyes shone through the transformation as she grew taller and larger of proprtions. A ribbon of stars seemed to surround her finally becoming a bright white and gold sailor suit, complete with golden high heel shoes.

Click to reveal..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cp2q2GSY7jw

"In the Name of the Light, I will punish you!" She smiled and held out her hand with her index and middle finger towards the Black clad member of the Five. "Luminous BEAAAAAAAMMMMMM!" She yelled as a jewel shaped mote of light formed on her fingertip before a beam of light sprang forth and struck down the Black Clad figure.

Click to reveal..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yEXb_91sKWA&feature=related

[IndyPendant]

Sharatur flips into a dramatic martial arts pose, her eyes flinty and her head bobbing from side to side as her mouth starts moving without her actually saying anything.

Then she speaks, her words not matching her mouth's movements. "You should not have come here." She punches air as if training--and when her fist fully extends, she vanishes to reappear with her fist inside the black-suited man's chest. "Now you must die!" She rips her fist out of black's chest, holding his heart up to his visor while it is still beating. Oddly, there is almost no blood anywhere; even the hole where the intruder's heart used to be is only a sort of damp-ish dark red.

As the intruder collapses, Sharatur's mouth finally stops its odd random movements. She flings the still-beating heart down upon the body and goes back into a ready stance, keening a high-pitched yet still somehow threatening-sounding wail.

[Charlotte]

Intentionally left blank.

[Thomas Froit]

Suddenly the sound that one would associate with the jet engines of an airplane was heard, except that it was a costumed man in a jumpsuit of sorts, with apparently a blaster-like gun in his hand, and a jet pack on his back. Not to mention the Cyclops-like visor covering his eyes.

"Am I late to the party?" Everyone was looking at him quizically for some reason, and he sighed. "I'm Glitch, I'll be a Prophet in about... oh 1 to 2 issues, but that's no reason to not be here!"

"W-w-w-w-wait!" The green suit gasped with world-shaken shock, "There's no such thing as that jet pack you're wearing, no one's ever invented that!"

Glitch laughed. "I did. I am the bug in the Order's system. I can use science to invent anything!" "ANYTHING?" Everyone, even the Prophets and supposed dead/comatose/beaten enforcers shouted in surprise.

"OF COURSE! DON'T YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT SCIENCE!" Glitch shouted back. "Now," he continued, "I think this fun has to be shared with some fellow geniuses."

Withdrawing a strange remote control type gizmo with an apparently attached speaker, Glitch started fiddling with the controls. Suddenly, the crash of glass- coming from the speaker sounded, taking even Glitch by surprise.

The voice that followed came from what sounded like a grade school boy. "DEDEEEEE! Get out of my labooooratory!"

Glitch started fiddling with the controls some more. "Okay, Dexter's busy dealing with his sister." He announced. Static followed from the loudspeaker, then the irate voice of an older woman. "James Issac Neutron!"

Glitch immediately tossed away the device, letting it fall down umpteen heights. "Rats."

Shrugging, he raised the blaster. There was a predictable red blast, and it blazed through the head of the green suit, probably killing him.

"Headshot." Glitch intoned.