Jump to content

Aberrant: Stargate Universe - Ramming Roadblocks [Complete]


Recommended Posts

It had been a long night. Olivia hadn’t slept well, and it had nothing to do with the hard ground that she’d been resting on. Sleep hadn’t come for another reason entirely; she couldn’t sleep because something was wrong with her relationship with Vinny and he didn’t seem interested in working on it. All night, as she tossed and turned, she debated what to do come morning. Clearly, waiting wasn’t working.

The problem was that she was afraid of losing him. They’d only been together for about three weeks, and she wasn’t ready to let go. Not after all that they’d gone through to get to this point, after all that had come between them, all the pain and misunderstandings.

And worse, some part of her truly believed that this was her last chance. It was a stupid thought, borne of fear and insecurity, because she knew it wasn’t true. She was young and attractive, not to mention smart and a superhero – kinda. Close enough for most men, she knew. And women, too.

So what was the problem?

She stared at the roof of her tent, listening to Aradia breathe and feeling the tears rise. Stupid. You’re being emotional and stupid, she told herself. She pressed her hand over her eyes, as her warm tears turned cold on her cheeks. Even throwing her blanket over her head didn’t help her feel warm as the night wore on, and the chill crept into everything.

Olivia tried to sleep, but she couldn’t help but remember other freezing cold nights, where she had curled close to him for warmth, when they’d been young and the past was too new to hurt. What would she give to go back to that day and whisper into her young self’s sleeping ear? Such wishes were futile, but they did do one thing for her. She considered the message that she would have given herself, if she could only pass one thing, and decided what that would be.

Don’t be afraid.

She’d been afraid for so long. It was time to face the future with courage, no matter the outcome.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

She was aware when he came jogging into camp. He looked like he’d been working out all night, probably running circuits around the camp. She watched him a moment, then turned to look at where the others were gathering to go get the ship. She poked at the campfire, more for something to do than any need to tend to the fire.

Olivia wasn’t going to get the ship. She didn’t feel right about it; it still felt like they were setting themselves up to bail out of the game if things got too hot. Cortez had burnt his ships behind him as motivation; this felt like it would have been had Cortez left his ships intact. And a further misgiving that she had was a bit silly; this wasn’t spoils of war, but simple theft. She knew that she was drawing a ridiculous line in the sand, but it felt wrong to her.

She wondered if Vinny would go. If he did, she’d have time to consider her move, and some part of her hoped that would be the case. It’d been a long time since she’d been alone, given time to just be and think. And with Aradia’s gift still humming through her aura, she could have some fun in other forms.

But if Vinny stayed… well, she’d just have to not be afraid.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

He saw her as he entered camp. He'd been avoiding talking to her until his tumultuous emotions had calmed down. The last thing he needed right now was to go into a very serious discussion seeing red. Especially on short reprieve from his last mission and after listening to the ass-tard pilot drive a 'safety' wedge between them and the rest of the humanity.

He reached into his vest that had been slinged over his shoulder and took something out, keeping it palmed as he approached Olivia's fire.

"Sit?"

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Olivia didn't stare at him as he approached; she smiled at him when it became clear that he was coming over, but didn't stare at him. In part, she didn't want him to see anything pathetic in her gaze, like wild, crazy hope. She was pretty sure all he'd see was wariness, but she wasn't sure. His body language wasn't perfect, but it was better than it had been last night. He wasn't obviously tense or relaxed; in fact, it was notable just how neutral his stance was.

"Of course," she said in answer to his question, nodding and giving him a quick glance. She poked the fire again and added, "That pot still has some coffee, and the cooler has eggs and bacon, and there's a clean pan in that pile over there. If you haven't eaten yet."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Vin grunted in response to the food as he sat down and held out his closed hand to her.

Olivia tenatively held out her hand and he dropped a kiwi into it. Not waiting for a reaction, he turned away, scanning the camp and making sure to keep his line of vision out of the fire.

"Please explain."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

He's trying. Olivia's fingers closed gently around the fruit and she brought it to her nose for a quick sniff. The sweet scent filled her senses and she smiled, despite the seriousness of what was happening.

She took another moment to gather her thoughts and recall the details she needed. "He showed up the day of the barbecue," Olivia said, finally just deciding to start at the beginning. "I had a nightmare and went to breakfast early, alone, and he was there. After that, I went to my CO, and told him. We determined that he couldn't have gotten to the SGC on his own merit and service record, and that he was likely there as a punishment to me, from the IOA." She sighed a little, and there was more hurt in her voice when she said, "That likely means that they found Bill, and he told them, since he's the only person with a link to me who would know and who would sell me out like that."

She paused another moment, then said, "Caine and I needed proof of this, so we went to gather information. Caine assigned me to a war game, where I pretended that the SGC was being infiltrated by four people, and we made Hatchins one of them. That allowed me to get access to his file - which is how Daniel, Dr. Jackson, found out. He was helping me access them, and saw my reactions to Hatchins, and guessed. I didn't tell him," Olivia added, and there was real shame in her voice as she added, "I really didn't want anyone to know, which is what pisses me off about Cam digging around. He doesn't need to know that."

She looked at her kiwi, and knew he'd brought it for her. There hadn't been any in the supplies; she'd already looked. She had kiwi-dar, a unique talent, to be sure. She wondered if she'd ever get another gift from him as she said, "I thought about telling you and didn't because we were trying to gather information about him. I was worried if you knew, you'd lash out at him, since you are protective of me. I was worried he'd disappear, and then the IOA would get away with using him to try to scare me."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

He had to give her some benefit of the doubt, simply because he had also withheld information from her. He was just as guilty by keeping the location of Bill to himself and not letting her know about it.

He also knew that if he had, she would have probably flipped out over it and that would have been the end of the relationship before it ever really started.

So really, he had no ground to stand on to be upset with her, and he had come to that realization as he ran laps around the camp. Which is why he was sitting where he was and maintaining a level of civility outside his usual demeanor.

"You're right. Woulda fuckin' ripped his balls off and made sure he choked on them right before we thew him onto whatever's fuckin' left of Natoo."

Vinny leaned over and lit his cigar from the fire. "Fuckin' IOA has brass ones darlin'. But we have Fuck Fuzz. Your brother found him."

He blew a ring up into the night air and shot a thin stream of smoke through it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

He couldn't have surprised her more with two words if he'd said, "I'm gay." But he hadn't. He'd said, "You're right." It was truly the last thing she'd expected, and she stared at him, clearly surprised and with nothing to say as he continued. She was so surprised that she almost missed the rest of what he said.

But then he did it again, with his news about Bill. Her look of shock actually expanded to include a jaw-drop. She watched as he lit his cigar and blew smoke rings, waiting for her response.

Then boiling rage ripped down her nerves, and her face darkened. Don't get pissed at him for learning about it. Not until you know the whole story. Calm down first. "Be right back," she said tensely. Standing, she walked over to the table and fetched a small paring knife. Her movements were stiff as she sliced the kiwi and took a couple of bites of the green pulpy fruit. As usual, the familiar tang evoked calmness, drawing emotions from old memories. A couple of deep breaths and Olivia believed that she was composed enough. Carrying the rest of the fruit slices back, she sat back down and offered him some of the kiwi, if he wanted.

“Vinny,” she started, then paused. “I have a couple of questions.” She bit her lip, and while she was still angry, he could tell she was worried about something, too. She was getting that anxious look on her face again. “Why was Wak looking for Bill, and what… what has he told you?” On the last bit, her voice dropped to a whisper, and she took a nervous bite of her fruit.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Her surprise was surprising, the anger was not, and something he was much more comfortable with. So when she clearly stomped off to take a breather, Vinny felt a little more at ease and his mood shifted away from center towards the positive. Especially when she used the knife on the fruit and didn't come back looking to make him a eunuch.

He held up his hand and shook it a bit in decline of her offer, he didn't want to ruin the cigar.

He told me...

"Enough." he said, answering her second question. "He came to me after he heard we were dating..."

...again

Seemed mighty interested in defending your honor. After we had a gentlemen's discussion, it was agreed to track down The..." (pronounced Thee)"...Ass-Tard through Fuzz.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Enough. That word held a world of possibilities. It could mean that Wakiki had said almost nothing, or he could have given Vinny the gory details. That thought alone was enough to catapult her to her feet again, and this time, she was out of kiwi. She busied herself for a moment, throwing the kiwi skins in the fire to burn and giving herself time to think.

Wakiki knew. He must have tracked down Bill at some point. But Bill left. And Vinny just made it sound like this was recent, after we'd been dating. So when had Wakiki gotten this information from Bill?

Olivia dragged her mind back into the past, to the horrid day when she was sure that she wanted to die, and only the knowledge that she couldn't get away from her family for long enough to do it stopped her. The longest day of her life, when her world reshaped itself into a new paradigm - Olivia crawled back into that pit of despair, staring into the fire.

The ride to the Planned Parenthood clinic... calling her brother... waiting for him.... the drive back to the house... his quiet concern... leaving her with Mom... leaving to get her stuff, but not coming back for...

He'd been gone hours and hours, Olivia recalled suddenly. She hadn't noticed, because she'd been trying to hold herself together. But it'd been late when he'd come back, and he and Jolena... or had she been there? Olivia shook away that dual sense of memory and focused on the important details. Her brother had been tense and upset, far more than when he'd left her at Mom and Dad's.

"He's known the whole time," she said, her jaw tightening. She looked at Vinny, trying to hold back the tears, not sure if she'd manage that. "And you? How long have you known?" Her voice had risen a little, but she wasn't quite yelling as she continued, "How long have you fucked me like it didn't matter?"

Oh, that's fucked up. Parade your psychosis, like he didn't have enough reasons to run. Olivia stopped herself and waved her hand at him, trying to dismiss her own words. "Look, it doesn't matter, it doesn't." She didn't believe it. "What the fuck do we do now? Besides get Bill and choke the information about the IOA out of him? Metaphorically choke, by the way."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

"Excuse, the fuck, me?" Vinny said, standing up, not willing to dismiss her words so lightly as she evidently could, showing how committed she was to their relationship. "Didn't fuckin' matter? Are you fuckin' crazy?"

He approached her, the fire casting his anger-contorted face into sinister shadows as he gestured with his cigar, making no effort to stay quiet around the slumbering camp. "Don't know whatever fuckin' joy-ride you think this shit is darlin', but its getting fuckin' lame. Your emotional bullshit is too fuckin' much. Forgetting you maybe wasn't the worst fuckin' sacrifice.

Vin turned to leave, but hesitated and turned back quickly, sticking the cigar in his mouth. "And you can tell that pants-pissin' ass-tard brother of yours to deal with Fuck Fuzz on his own."

He turned and started straight away from the light, walking into the welcoming embrace of the darkness.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

"No, you fucking stop!" Olivia shouted, darting after him. "I'm not done, not yet." She stopped in front of him, then grabbed his shirt when she started to dodge around her. "No! You got to be mad and yell yesterday and I was shoveling your shit then. So you can give me just a moment."

She glared up at him, looking more like the girl in the picture than she ever had, to his memory. "Four men," she hissed, her dark eyes glittering in what little light reached them from the fire. "Six hours. You don't take that kind of abuse and just walk away from it. Stop looking at me like that! This isn't me shoveling pity on myself. This is me trying to tell you: I am dealing with this. I do it poorly sometimes, but I'm trying.

"There was someone before this, someone who should have been perfect for me. And he left me, because he couldn't handle me not telling him," Olivia said. "That's why I'm telling you these things. I've never said them to anyone, never admitted them, hated them and tried to hide them from everyone. But I'm telling them to you, because you think this is bad, try dealing with me hiding and repressing it.

"It won't be easy for you to hear these things," Olivia said, her anger slowly draining. "Help me. That's what I need. Someone to ignore it when I say stupid crap like what I just did, someone to remind me that no matter what happened, it's in the past.

"I never even hinted to Sean about the attack," she added. "I couldn't. I was too ashamed. But I told you, and I wanted to be the one to tell you all of it, in time. See, I told you because I want you to be the one that I can lean on for help. That means shoveling shit sometimes. But I want you to do it, because it won't always be shit-shoveling. There'll be times when I'm normal, too, and it will be in the past at those moments. I want you there for those moments, too, because... the last time I was happy, with myself and the world, was when I was in Kuwait with you. I know you don't remember, and that scares me. You don't have the surety that I do, that once we were happy in a one-room shit-box in the armpit of the world."

She stepped back, let go of him and gave him room to flee. "If you'll give me patience, I'll keep trying to get better. I'm trying here, Vinny. I could use your help. But if you're not going to be able to do that, then go on, run now."

Oh, God... please stay. Pleasedontgo...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Click to reveal..



Vinny looked at her for a long time, this not the first time he seemed to be evaluating her on some mysterious level outside normal purview. After a few moments, he let out a breath and rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands.

Fuck me, can't belive this shit. Eckhart, where are you?

"Alright...alright, fine. Can try it your way. But if you know me that well, which you seem to do, patience is hardly my strong suit." Vin said, already tired of talking.

Don't women ever fuckin' shut up.

"Shoveling shit I can do. Just try to fuckin' mellow a bit darlin'."

Pot...kettle...ass-tard.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Click to reveal..

"Mellow. Got it," she sighed, the tension rushing out of her body so fast she felt momentarily dizzy. She wanted to touch him, but didn't want to have him push her away if he wasn't up for a hug. For a moment, she wondered if this was a good idea, to convince him to stick around a bit longer, but sheer stubbornness compelled her down this path. If she carried away regrets from another relationship with him, she wanted them to be that she stayed too long and tried too hard. No fear, not this time.

Olivia was silent for a long moment, looking up at him with a tired expression. "Alright, so. Bill. Where is he?" she asked. "Or would you rather me work with Wakiki on this?"

She still needed to talk to her brother about this too. A cramp of pain shot through her gut at the thought, because unlike with Vinny, Olivia knew that Wakiki wouldn't necessarily recognize his fault in it so easily. What were you thinking, Wak?
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Olivia rubbed her face wearily. "Stop that," she said, though she sounded tired enough that it didn't quite snap. She looked up at him and said, "If I didn't want you involved, I'd say so. It's like I said, I want your help.

"And yeah, you overstepped. You guys went around behind my back, and I know that at least Wakiki did it because he knew I wouldn't agree with what he'd want to do. My brother is very predictable that way. But..." She looked down and then back up at the smoldering eyes over the burning cigar. "It'll be ok. I'm pissed at the moment, but it'll pass. And if it were that bad, I wouldn't have stopped you when you just tried to walk away. There's no need to pull back like that."

Olivia's memory pulled forth something, demanding that she acknowledge it. At the time it had been uttered, too much had happened, and she hadn't had a chance to register it until now. "Wait," she said, blinking suddenly, "what did you mean by joy-ride? I don't think this is any kind of joy-ride." For starters, a joy-ride would actually be fun.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Help me, but you're a piss-ant.

"Not gonna fuckin' dissect my conversation, not a good time." Vinny said around his clenched cigar as his anger level started to rise again.

Fuckin' have to talk about everything, just drop the shit and move on, dammit.

Vinny let out a breath which was accompanied by rich cigar smoke over Olivia's head. "If you wanted my help, then why ask if ya were gonna work with Wak on this shit? That some ass backwards, passive aggressive, dig at me shit?"

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Olivia stared at him, looking a little dazed by this latest attack. And whether he'd meant the words as such, she felt - and looked - like he'd just struck her, her eyes wide and her lips trembling. After a second, she pulled it together, pressing her lips tight so that they didn't shake. "I wanted," she said careful and quietly, "to give you the option to back out if you wanted. I don't want to demand your help, especially when you're clearly angry with me. I was trying to be accommodating to you."

She'd meant to end there, but one more statement forced its way out of her mouth, and it undid her. The tears rose in her eyes as she added, "Not everything I say is an attack against you, Vinny, even when I'm mad. In fact," she said, turning to look into the darkness, "only one thing I said was an attack, and I'm sorry for it. I car-..." Her voice cracked and she stopped.

"I need a minute," she said, not looking at him, "so you don't think this is an ploy." She didn't wait for an answer, and wasn't sure she wanted one. Instead, she turned and moved to the far side of a tree, leaning against the bark. As quietly as she could, she let the pain go in her tears, trying not to let him hear. After a moment, she slid into a crouch, holding her knees and trying to purge.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

His anger started to melt as soon as her eyes started to refract the starlight. The effect of a woman's tears on a man, especially when emotionally involved was well documented and Vin was no exception.

Vinny, you're a fuckin' ass-tard.

As she was slumping to the ground he was already moving to approach her. "Dammit woman, there's no need for that shit." Vinny said, keeping his tone as gentle as he could. "Didn't mean to rip ya a new one. C'mon, stand up darlin'."

She peeked up at him, reluctant to make any eye contact and then dropped her vision to somewhere around his waist before slowly releasing her legs and standing up.

Vin pulled her into a warm embrace, pinching the cigar out and tossing it as his arms wrapped around her. He lowered his face into her hair and let her smell wash over him.

Click to reveal.. (2h2h Flashback)

"Hey Granola." He said playfully, wrapping an arm around Liv and leaning down to give her a smooch. The insult was completely gone out of the name, having more turned into a sign that he was feeling feisty.

As John waved at him, Liv turned the one-armed hug into a full embrace, putting both arms around his neck. Her kiss was warm and giving, and while it could have been an attempt to rub their status in the face of the disapproving, it was really just a simple greeting for him. As she stepped back, she laced her fingers through his and said, "Just in time. Food's ready."

Vinny almost...almost pulled back suddenly as the memory flashed to the forefront of his mind, but instead he just seemed to tense for a moment and then relaxed again and pulled her tighter.

"I'm sorry, darlin'."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Some part of her, the part that Bill had broken a long time ago, waited for this to be a trick or a ploy. She was so sure that he'd still be mad at her, that he probably should hate her, that she wasn't sure if she could trust this sudden change. When he tensed, she followed, only to have him relax a beat later. She didn't relax; she was sure it was coming. Something was coming, but she wasn't ready for it.

"I'm sorry, darlin'."

The soft apology drove a shudder through her as her breath caught and then was forced out by the next sob. She wrapped her arms around him tightly and cried more, her sheer relief at his concession wringing yet more emotions out of her. Too much had happened in the last few days for her to not have this kind of reaction to kindness, no matter the lengths she had to suffer through to get it.

Mindful that continued tears would either confuse or irritate him, she stopped as fast as she could, wiping her eyes. "Thank you," she said, her voice still ravaged by mucus and the force of her sobs. "I'm sorry, too."

Olivia didn't let go of him, and was determined not to broach another subject. Things were good at the moment, and she didn't want to risk changing it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

When Vin finally felt Olivia releasing her hold, he pulled back to look her in the eyes. "Just say when ya need to throw down some shit, darlin', okay? Just say the word. Not plannin' on doin' much while the fuckin' pilot is struttin' the coop actin' like an ass-tard. Probably be stayin' at the apartment when brass'll let me."

Need to fuckin' cool my jets...Oh look at you, makin' fuckin' flyin' fuckin' metaphors you fuck. Need some damn leave.

"So, if we're okay, rest and sleep seems the right thing."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Olivia watched his cheeks darken a little, but she knew it wasn't because of her this time, and she was happy for that. At his standing statement of help, a relieved smile crossed her face. "We're okay," she repeated, just happy that they'd talked a bit and worked things out. Even if things had gotten worse again for a bit, she still felt like they'd gotten somewhere tonight.

"Say," she said as she tucked herself under his arm and wrapped hers around his waist, "being at your apartment more doesn't sound bad. Would you want some company, sometimes? You didn't show me your bedroom yet..."

The alien night swallowed the couple as they made their way back to the line of tents, their conversation fading into silence, becoming nothing more than memory.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...