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Big Eyes, Small Mouth (BESM): In the Shadows of the City - Always Two


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Keiko sometimes felt guilty.

Not because of the great work she helped the others do, nor even for the lives that they sometimes couldn't be there to save...though she regretted them, and would always strive to do better the next time. But no. Her real secret shame was simple.

Part of her was glad the demons had come.

She'd always been the odd one out at school. The miko, the weird shrine maiden, the religious freak. She'd eaten alone and studied alone and worked the temple alone and coped as best she could. Now everyone took the shrine seriously. Now everyone took HER seriously. And now she had a purpose, and a power to pursue it with. And now she had friends, even if it was an awkward, strained thing at times, and even if not all of them really accepted it as such. They were her friends, even if she wasn't always theirs.

And because of all these things, a selfish little corner of her heart was glad for the demons. Had they never come, she would have lived and died in obscurity, being no one to anyone except maybe here at the shrine.

Keiko didn't like that corner, but she didn't refute it or try to lie to herself about it. Those things would only make it worse, and turn a small character flaw into a shadow on her heart that could nurture darkness.

Her musings were interrupted by her father's voice as he sat down at the low dining table.

"Is Skye missing dinner again?" He shook his head.

"I heard she was exercising this afternoon," Keiko replied. "Sparring with some of the others until they went home. I guess she's really dedicated."

Her father nodded slowly. "It would seem. Even so, it's no good exercising on an empty stomach. You need food to build muscles too. Here."

He scooped up the tray from the third place setting at the house table and handed it to Keiko, gently enough that the bowl barely even wobbled.

"Take this to her and make sure she eats it."

The solar-priestess-in-training nodded brightly and took the tray. "I'll be right back!" she assured her father. "So don't take any of mine!"

Then she hurried off.

Her father beamed at her innocently...but cracked one eye open to gaze at her untouched food with an increasingly hungry expression.

-------------

Keiko made no effort to be quiet as she scampered up the hall to Skye's room. Her feet made a quiet patter up to the sliding panel, and her silhouette was clearly visible against the paper squares. The smell of food gently started wafting around the slats. Then she knocked.

"Skye? Are you there?"

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Skye had just woken up from her afternoon nap. It was her last sanctuary before she was required to go out and fight, kill and maybe get hurt. She loitered in bed for a moment, enjoying this last moment of calm before the storm.

Still, she didn't begrudge Keiko knocking on her door. The cute young priest was probably calling her to dinner. She rose to her feet and pulled on a robe over her pajamas, then slid open the door. "Keiko... you brought me food? I could come to dinner," she said.

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"It's no bother," Keiko said happily as the door opened and she brought the tray in. "We've already finished, so there's no need to make you go all the way in there just to eat."

She looked around the spartan room, visibly wondering where to set the tray.

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Skye pulled a small folding table from underneath the platform her tatami rested on. She silently set up the table and sat cross-legged before it. The quiet girl watched Keiko set down the tray; while she started to eat, Keiko got a chance to take a good look at her. She wasn't the Mean Girl that Keiko had remembered so vividly from her first day at school; there was no make-up or carefully styled hair. The clothes were designer, but their storage in her duffel bag had taken the chic shine from them.

"Did you need something, Keiko?" Skye asked politely after a moment. Her blue eyes had no luster as she looked at the other priestess.

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"I guess not..." Keiko stammered. "I just...we don't get to talk much even though you're staying here. So I never got to tell you before how sorry I am. That you suffered so much, I mean. I know there's probably nothing I can do, and you probably think I'm stupid for even bringing it up, but...if there IS anything, anything at all, please ask. Even if you just want to scream at me or cry or don't even want to say anything but don't want to be alone, I can just sit with you."

She takes a deep breath and pauses in her babble.

"I just don't want you to feel like you have to be by yourself."

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Skye continued eating throughout Keiko's tirade, though her chopsticks shook at the word 'suffered'. When Keiko was done, Skye put her chopsticks down and said, "I know I'm not alone. I'm sorry if I've made you feel like I've been excluding you, or ignoring you. I've just found it easier to concentrate on my studies by focusing solely on my practice."

Skye gazed at her, her blue eyes empty, her gaze holding the other girl's. She faced Keiko calmly, no evidence of what she was feeling on her face. That was assuming that she was feeling anything at all; that her grief hadn't sucked her heart away into an endless void.

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Keiko's heart sank. First Kaori, now Skye. What good would she be if she couldn't help her own allies?

"No...it's not that you've been ignoring me. This isn't about me. It's about you. I'm here for you, not me."

She sighs and leans back against the wall.

"I'm not very good at this, I know. I'm trying my best though. We've just been worried about you. I've been worried...because things have been different since you came here, and I think I know why."

Keiko unconsciously reached up to cup her amulet, the talisman of Amateratsu, in her hand as she stared at the ceiling over Skye's head.

"You're like me."

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(((The Amulet pulses when Keiko says this, as do Skye's Fans wherever they are. The disturbace is enough to for both characters to notice. Unlike most of the items belonging to the others, bouth of your relics will function perfectly well, whichever of you is in posession of them. Please Continue.)))

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Skye looked at her bento box, and for the first time, Keiko saw something besides that unshakable calm facade. The Japanese girl saw fear and consternation. Then Skye closed her eyes, and closed her face - years of smiling and being perfect on demand had made it easy for her to project exactly what she wasn't feeling.

"Yes," she said simply. "I've been told I'm the Lunar Priestess. Of course, I don't know what that means. Do you have time to train me in that, in addition to your other duties?"

It was asked as casually as asking to taught algebra or history. In Skye's mind, perhaps it was that simple, to her.

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"You were told?" Keiko feels some of the strength leave her legs, and her knees wobble. "When did you find out?"

She manages to make it closer to Skye's table, then falls to her knees to sit there too.

"Of course I can help you! Skye, this is incredible news! This is wonderful! We need to tell my father, and there'll be a ritual purging...we'll explain everything we can, but there'll be some things just between you and Luna."

She cleared her throat.

"Have you...spoken with her yet?"

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"Lindh said it," Skye replied, a little startled and finally showing something besides eternal calm. "She told me, well, in a way. She compared me to the last priestess, in a good way, I think. As in, I'm like her."

She took another bite, her composure returning quickly. "Whatever you can do to help me will be appreciated. I don't have a lot understanding or background to help, so whatever you think I need to know," she told the other girl. "Just let me know what I need to do."

Skye paused and her brow furrowed. "Have I... talked to the moon yet? Do you speak to the sun sometimes?"

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"Sort of...but it's more praying, and it's not exactly the sun..."

Keiko paused to try to organize her thoughts. The news of Skye's identity was a surprise that was making it hard to think straight.

"Okay. Lets start with the basics. Do you understand what the kami are?"

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Skye raised an eyebrow. "You want me to pray to something that is not exactly the moon?" she asked icily. Apparently, the idea didn't sit well with her. "I'm sorry, but I need to know more than that.

"And yes, I know that kami are deities, or simply the spirits within objects." Skye didn't give the snotty answer that she wanted to give: that she was civilized and educated.

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Keiko nodded happily.

"That's right! What you have to understand is that a kami is a spirit OF something and IN something, but it's not the same thing as the thing it's...of."

She paused, frowning as she realized what a verbal knot that was.

"Okay, put it this way. You're a kami...you're the spirit in your body. Your body is part of you, but it's not -the same- as you. If it dies, you go on. And your spirit can be hurt or even destroyed, even if your body is still whole."

"So Amateratsu is the sun, but she's also more than the sun...and the sun isn't -just- a spirit. If you went to the sun in a rocket, you'd find a huge ball of gas burning forever. You wouldn't come to Amateratsu's Celestial abode. But the sun and Amateratsu are also one. It's confusing, I know. But that's what I mean when I say have you talked with Luna. I don't mean did you talk to the moon. Luna's a spirit. Not just A spirit, but one of the great spirits, the kami-sama. You can draw her attention to yourself, and communicate. It may not be in words, but she'll make her meaning known to you."

She sighed. "I'm sorry I'm so bad at explaining this. Is it making any sense at all?"

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"No, that made some sense," Skye said, frowning. "Please don't take offense, but I suspect that you can't answer my most burning questions. For example, why on earth would a bunch of teenagers be asked to do this? And why a German one, when there are a hundred other Japanese students who have the lineage for it? And why me? It would have been wiser to pick someone with kendo experience, or even with fighting prowess!"

Skye shook her head. "But those aren't anything you have answers for, I'm sure. So let's start with a more practical question: what can you teach me, and when can we begin?"

If she was afraid, she didn't show it. In fact, all she showed was that same emptiness, a brittle shield of nothing-to-see-here.

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