Aberrant: Stargate Universe - Conditions of the Beast [Complete]

[z-Olivia Jenings-Izumi]

Olivia relaxed into the hug slowly. At his request for her to not bullshit him, she gave a little nod, her hair rubbing back and forth on the shirt. She smiled at his smile - and then turned her face against his shoulder. A moment later, he heard the first soft sob, and he knew why.

She'd never had anyone hold her and tell her would be ok after Hatchins. She hadn't told anyone, so no one could give her the relief of sharing her pain. Letting it go, speaking about it with someone she trusted proved to be incredibly cathartic, and Olivia found herself unable to hold in the tears. Her arms found purchase around him as she cried and expunged some of the pain she'd kept hidden away for so long. Declan just held her and let her release some of her old torment.

,,

After a while, she stopped crying and lifted her head, sniffling. "I'm ok," she said softly, rubbing at her face. "Sorry... your shirt is soaked." It was a stupid thing to worry about, especially after everything else she'd had to deal with, but it still popped out of her mouth.

[The Red Man]

He kissed her on the forehead, smiling slightly. "Never you mind the shirt, girl." He drew back a little, his arms still around her, and ducked his head to peer into her eyes. "You feelin' better?" At her nod, he smiled and helped them both to their feet. He sighed softly as he reluctantly took his arms from around her: it felt to both of them that he didn't ever want to let her go.

"Livy..." he paused, brow furrowing as he chose his words. "I ain't gonna say 'I understand', cuz that'd be bullshit. I didn't go through what you went through. I doubt I'd have come through it as solidly as you did, though." He nudged her shoulder with one hand. "We ain't the same people we once were, for all sorts of reasons even before that alien doodad diddled with our DNA." He shrugged his broad shoulders. "But I like the person you are now, if that counts for somethin'. You're quite a lady."

[z-Olivia Jenings-Izumi]

Olivia shook her head, even as she smiled. "You would never have gone through it, even before Afghanistan and the Artifact," she said simply. "You would have fought... probably killed them." She closed her eyes; whatever she saw behind her closed lids wasn't pleasant. "I didn't."

She managed a small smile as she looked at him. "But I get what you're saying," she said. "Thanks for thinking that, and for saying it. When I think about myself in relation to... that... I don't feel that special." Just weak and dirty. Like I could have done more. Like I should have saved myself. She held up a hand to stop his protest. "I've heard how you feel, and it makes me feel good, so thank you. I mean that."

[The Red Man]

"No problem." Dec shrugged, smiling a little despite the seriousness of the moment. Tentatively he put an arm around her shoulders - a gesture of camaraderie that held a different sort of intimacy than their previous embraces. "We survivors got to stick together, y'know." He moved them both towards the door as he spoke, hitting the light switch as they slipped out of the room. Out in the corridor, he let his arm fall from her slowly, his hand gently gripping one shoulder in parting.

"We'll be okay, Doc." he said quietly as he fished in his pockets for his shades. "And yeah... what you said before about after the mission? Doin' this again and all: consider your dance card marked." He gave her a rare grin.

[z-Olivia Jenings-Izumi]

Olivia leaned into Declan a bit, accepting the camaraderie he was offering. It just felt good to not be nervous around a male, and even better to just be touched. In the hallway, she accepted the loss of that touch. There might be people who would see Declan’s gesture, who wouldn’t understand. They’d see a man touch a woman, and think about sex, not getting that some relationships weren’t about that, or even just about that. Nor would they understand what had just happened in the room. To be fair, Olivia wasn’t completely sure what had happened either.

It didn’t matter. It’d helped him; made him smile.

“Declan,” she said suddenly, biting her lip as she gained the courage to ask a question that Red had put in her head. “Was Red right? When he said, um, why you’ve been training me so much? And if so… why did you offer to train me that first day? You strongly urged Damien to let you do it, but… Red’s statement couldn’t have been true then, could it?”

[The Red Man]

Never in the field of human (or post-human) embarassment had a pair of shades been donned so fast. There really should have been a *whoosh* sound effect to accompany the motion.

"Uhh..." he looked away as though reflexively glancing up and down the corridor. Olivia could quite see the flush creeping up the side of his tanned face, however. Quick as lightning, Dec's mind ran through the various options.

"I dunno, I wasn't listening"..? Nah. "Red talks a lot of shit and likes to play head games"..? Nope. Play dumb? Hmmm...

*Hehehehehe... Best stick to what you know, Honest Abe.*

You're a fucker.

*Not me. I'm a fighter, not a fucker. Lady's waitin'...*

"Yeah, it kinda was true. Then and now." His shoulders slumped a little and he turned back to look at her, his face still red. "Back then, I saw you as someone a bit like me: a survivor. You were shit-scared of me, but you still went at me that first practice session. I saw you as someone that had been through somethin' bad, and managed to keep it together despite the cracks. I kinda... felt for you."

"And now?" Livy asked, regarding him steadily.

"Now..." He shrugged. "Yeah. I care for you. Like I said: I think you're a hell of a woman. You're smart and tough where it counts. In that exercise the Major set up: the ambush. It told me more about you, told me that you're a thinkin' type." He smiled wryly. "Too bad your parents raised you peace-lovin'. You'd make one heck of a light infantryman." He told her earnestly enough despite the ironic humour of his statement not being lost on him. He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck, looking down at the floor between them.

"I care.... a hell of a lot. Red's an asshole, but he wasn't lyin'." He peered up at her over his sunglasses. "I'll be watchin' out for you, Livy. You... You're gonna go back to The World one day, when all the bullshit classification is over and done with and people can tell the story, and you'll write the motherfucker of all books about this secret war we fought, and you'll travel and teach bright kids, some of whom might be soldiers one day and some who'll be peaceniks." He smiled a trifle mischievously, then went serious again, his words starting to come out in a rush as though he was afraid of faltering. "You'll go back to The World and have a good life, with a good guy who'll... well, he can't make you forget, I guess, but maybe he'll be able to help you put all the scary shit and bad shit behind you and then I'll know that by keepin' you alive and helpin' you to get through I've done somethin' good, somethin' real for someone who's pretty fuckin' cool in my book."

[z-Olivia Jenings-Izumi]

The concept was very simple: keep a good person alive, so they could do good things. It'd been playing out in movies and books throughout the world. But when you were told you were the good person, and that another believed that by keeping you alive, you would better the world, it was heady stuff. Olivia stared at Declan through his little monologue, her jaw dropping as he laid his heart bare.

Click to reveal.. (Unlimited)

"And what do you want to be when you grow up?" The woman leaned down over the slight, dark-skinned girl who was cheerfully coloring a picture.

"Everything," the child said, grinning up at the kindergarten teacher.

"Well, that's quite a lot!" the woman laughed. "But don't you want to be one thing?"

"No, Mommy and Daddy said I can be anything I want," the child chirped, "so I'm going to be a teacher, then an astronaut, then a zookeeper, and a super-hero who saves the world. And then when I'm old, I'm going to write it all in a book so that everyone can read it."

"But don't you want to be just one, focus on one?" the teacher pressed.

The girl finally looked up at the teacher, frowning. "Why?" five-year old Olivia asked, completely confused by the concept of limiting herself.

Click to reveal.. (Champion)

There was a moment of silence, then the twelve-year-old girl with chocolate skin leaned forward. "Can I hear it in a sentence please?" she asked, her voice shaking as she spoke into the microphone.

"Your mother uses the phrase, 'If your friends jumped off a bridge, would you?' as a way to promote enculturation." The man who spoke was a stranger, his face stern but not mean.

"Enculturation. E-N-C... U-L-T-U-R... A... T-I-O-N. Enculturation."

For a moment, his face was the same, craggy and somber. Then it broke into a smile, and he said, "That is correct. Ms. Jenings-Izumi, you've won the Northern California Regional Spelling Bee for the Twelve-Year Old's Division!" There was clapping and cheering, even from the parents who had lost. But over that, Olivia could hear her mom shouting, "I knew you could do it! That's my little girl!" Her brother and father were just making noise, but Olivia knew they'd never doubted her either.

Click to reveal.. (Treasure)

"You ahre the most beautifurh woman ever," Harry said, kissing Olivia on the cheek.

His daughter blushed becomingly and glanced down, her eyes going to the blue yellow corsage on her arm. She smiled up at her date, and Rashad grinned at her. "He's right," the tall senior said.

"Hey!" Harry said, holding up a finger. "No upstaging her father."

"Yessir," Rashad said, hiding his laugh. "Don't worry, Mr. Izumi. I'll take care of your daughter tonight."

"You better," Harry said, mock-threateningly. "She is our treasure."

"Dad," Olivia mumbled. "C'mon." But she didn't mind. Not really.

Click to reveal.. (Hater)

"You are a terrible writer. I don't know why you're in my class," the professor said. Her paper lay on the desk between them, the red marks on it looking like blood.

"It's not," Olivia said, her eyes flashing with anger.

The professor stiffened. "Need I remind you that I am the winner of the Bay Area Fiction Writer's Award? Or that I chair Berkeley's Writer's Association!" She stood up, her gray hair as solid as a helmet, looming over the student. "If I say you can't write, then you can't write!"

Olivia grabbed her paper and fled, the tears rising.

Click to reveal.. (Insulted)

"Jesus! What did you do to your hair?" Bill stopped at the door to Liv's dorm room, his eyes wide. "Did you fight a lawnmower and lose?"

Liv touched her shortened hair. "I like it," she said, scowling at him.

"Why, did you go blind sometime after getting your hair cut?" Bill growled. "You look like a goddamned boy." He shook his head. "I hope that shit grows out fast."

"It's not that bad," Liv said, even as her heart sank.

"Oh, it's that bad," he assured her. "You'd better show some skin when we go out, because I don't want people thinking I'm a homo."

Click to reveal.. (The Bottom)

Three hours of hell were behind her. She didn't know it yet, but there were another three ahead. "Look at you take it," a harsh voice grunted, his voice rising and falling in cadence with his movements. Liv choked back another sob, even though she knew he didn't care if she cried. "Taking it like a good little whore."

Just another three hours. She'd survive it.

Click to reveal.. (Climbing)

"You haven't been in school for over a year, and you failed your last semester," the Dean of Journalism said. "Why should we allow you to re-enroll?"

Olivia looked her in the eyes. "I'm not the same person I was," she said, her voice even. "I've matured. I've taken some bad punches from life, and I'm punching back. I want to finish my degree. My writing since my drop out has improved. I know it's not good enough yet. But with your help, I can be more than good enough."

Click to reveal.. (Parting Ways)

"And now I've been denied tenure," Olivia said, rubbing her forehead.

Her mother frowned. "There's nothing that you can do?"

"Nope," Olivia sighed. "It's up to the other professors, and after the subject of my book..."

Harry frowned. "You knew," he said softly, his eyes sad as he pointed out what was obvious to him. "Stick to conventional theories until you have tenure. That is the way it works."

Olivia shook her head. "No, Dr. Jackson was right, and so am I. I just have to find more proof, keep working." Her father's answer was a sad shake of his head.

Click to reveal.. (Vindication and Entrapment)

"Then... I was right," Olivia said to the man at the end of the table.

The Colonel nodded. "Yes, Doctor, you were right."

"But why this cloak and dagger?" Her voice rose, became hot with anger. "Why did you ruin my career over this?"

"To tell you that, I need you to sign this," the Colonel said. He slid a paper and a pen to her.

Olivia frowned. "What is this?"

"It's an NDA," she was told. "If you sign it, you take the red pill, and I'll show you how deep the rabbit hole goes." He paused and added, "And I give you a job researching this and things like this."

Olivia quirked an eyebrow at him. "And if I don't?"

"I understand that many who can't hack it in academia have very nice careers teaching at community colleges."

Olivia's face softened and Declan thought she might cry again. Instead, she hugged him and murmured, "I love you, too. Thank you. I won't forget this, even without my memory." She released him and nodded. "Good night, Dec." She paused, then added softly, "I'll see you in the morning."