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Aberrant: The Long March - Departed


Joani

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(ooc: this fic is a continuation from the last chapter of the main thread and details the events directly after Joani got transported back to Lorean.)

Back on board Lorean Joani just managed to take few shakey steps before she collapsed. She wanted to scream it all out but her voice failed her. She wanted to cry like there was no tomorrow but she had no tears left. She barely felt the presence of Ulric who immediately asked Lorean to transport him to her quarters. He stood there for a moment unsure if he should come closer or not.

“I need to leave this place, Ulric.”, she said after a moment of awkward silence. Her voice was broken yet full of determination. “Everything here reminds me too much of what has happened. I can't stand it anymore Ulric – I can't accept it. It drives me insane, I can feel it. I think I already lost something I can't get back. A part of me is gone – forever.”, the sadness in her voice was heartbreaking.

“Will you stay with me at least until Andrew has given me the cure? I'm... I'm embarrassed to admit it, but I'm scared of taking it. I had terrible nightmares because of Andrew. He... he gives me the creeps.”

Ulric was the only one who remained human throughout all the time. He was always there for her and she knew he wouldn't fail her. Yet she felt like she had to ask for this instead of expecting him to stay with her. Nothing could be taken for granted any more, not even the simplest of requests.

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"Why would I go anywhere," Ulric told her, hand under her chin raising her head up so he could see into those crystal clear blue eyes," where I would be without you?"

"Get used to it, Joani, I'm not going to let you go. I love you, and you are all that matters to me now in this world ... or any other."

Time would pass before his plans would take shape. He and his wife had spent too much time apart when they had children to worry about, governments to run, and an Earth to save. Now they cold make time for each other. They could create their own destiny outside of the cruel touch of the Watchers. They could be free to be themselves ... then vengeance.

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Joani nodded at her husband her eyes staring right into his. "I know my love but I have reached a point where I questioned everything. I don't know how to break free of that without turning my back to it all and start over. I want to lead the life I never had and replace a daughter that died instead of erupting. You know I have no recall of my life before you found me but maybe I can try to get some of it back. I know it's just another lie but this I crafted myself and I'm fully aware of it. It is something I choose to do."

She spoke as if she had already planned everything. "I made Lorean research a very specific timeline - one where I didn't survive the crash. One where my parents had to bury me. I want to go back there and basically take her place. I'd tell them who I am - that I'm not their daughter but that I'd want to be part of their lives. They could think of me as a sister of their daughter.", she sighed because she knew the idea was very thin and just another lie. But to her it sounded like the only possible way that would give her a chance and peace of mind.

"I think I actually need your help to make this happen.", her eyes never strayed from his.

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The Nordic champion took Joani's hand into his own. He could help make this wish come true. Her might was in saving people from disaster. Ulric's was in saving them from themselves. He knew just were to push to get what was needed. People naturally wanted to believe him and he could help Joani's parents see that this was what was best for all of them.

They would get a wonderful daughter back from the grave to make their lives complete once more. They would supply her with a safe haven from which she could learn about he world all over again. He would make them see. They would be proud to have such a daughter.

"We'll go get the cure, make our plans, and leave as soon as possible then. There is nothing holding us here anymore. Our quest ..." he realized that Lorean was still watching " has ended." He wouldn't use the word 'failed' around Them. That would take millenium, at the very least.

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Joani was overwhelmed by her husbands words and hugged him for reassurance. They would leave this place behind and never look back - he would take care of it and make it happen.

"Let me contact Andrew and then we pack our stuff.", she kept him half embraced to get better access to his lips, then she kissed him like she never kissed him before.

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"From what I've gathered from Andrew's research, each 'cure' for taint is tailored to the individual. This is going to take several days to a week. We can hold up for that long. It will give me the opportunity to see if I can gather up a few more things, say good bye to the rest of the Cabal, and ... well, I guess there is nothing else holding us here."

Ulric felt the cold hand that had held his heart since coming to this place loosen his grip. He really began to feel as if he would get away. They would be together and it would be better than the old times. They wouldn't waste this second chance.

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It was a long time ago it seemed to her that she felt almost unencumbered by her dark thoughts. Ulric's confidence was infectious - it always had that effect on her. There even was a semblance of her former smile. The one he fell in love with when they first met decades ago.

Turning to face Lorean Joani looked up and spoke, "Lorean, can you please contact Andrew for us. We would like to talk to him in private. My quarters would be fine, we don't want to lose more time.", she almost forgot and added quickly, "And thank you for helping us, Lorean. Thank you so much."

Click to reveal..
ooc: I suppose Fox doesn't need to moderate this, so we can assume that Lorean follows the request and forwards the message to Andrew.
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It didn't take long, perhaps a minute, two at most, before Andrew rapped on the door. "I left myself down there to make sure I don't miss something weird," he started and then stopped and looked at Joani. "You look happy. I can't recall the last time you looked happy. Well ... of course I can, its just a figure of speech I mean, but still." Andrew paused realizing he was babbling. "Lorean said you wanted to see me. What can I do for you?"

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Ulric strides forward with determination,

"We've decided to leave, Andrew. We are going to go back to a distant timeline were Joani died in that plane crash, and pick up the pieces from there. We would like to leave as soon as possible. How long would it take you to find and apply the cure to us."

"We know it is a difficult process, but we are terribly anxious to leave this place. There is nothing for us here. Nothing we can learn - only painful memories. How soon?"

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Andrew was fairly well stunned. For a few moments he could do nothing, his mouth hung open slightly and he just stared. Eventually he managed to stammer out, "Why?"

"No, never mind, don't answer that, its fairly obvious that this is the conflation of the various threads of our existence pulling together to finally reveal the truth. I can get right to it but it'll take me some time. I'll need to review each of your cases and ... well even with a dozen mes working long hours it'll be at least a week. Maybe longer.

"But why go back?" Andrew shook his head, "I mean, I do understand getting away from," he waves his hands around, "all of this, this bullshit. I mean Micheal, the watchers, this never ending time travel. I get it, I understand why you would want to leave it all behind. But why go back? You can't become who you were. You are ... you. I ... I don't understand."

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Joani took a deep breath before she decided to answer. It was noticeable that she was positioning herself in a defensive angle to Andrew, her arms across her chest watching him through suspicious eyes.

"Frankly, I don't care if you understand Andrew, but I'll try anyway. I want to have a chance at the live I never had. I want to start over, reset and never look back. I know I am who I am and that is the sum of all my experiences. That is a fact I can't deny. All I ever wanted is to be with my family and protect those who need protection.", she tried to add more to that but found herself unable to. It wasn't important if it made any sense to Andrew. It made sense to her and that was enough for her.

"I... I just want the cure and leave.", she addded hastily. She couldn't even look him in the eyes when she mentioned the cure.

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Originally Posted By: Joani Reikspar
It was noticeable that she was positioning herself in a defensive angle to Andrew, her arms across her chest watching him through suspicious eyes.

"Frankly, I don't care if you understand Andrew ..."


Andrew grimaced, he'd done a lot of damage to his friend's trust of him in the past few years. Keeping secrets and slowly going deeper into madness. He felt like trying to defend himself, explaining that it hurt him that they had felt he was too unstable and too unreliable such that they wanted to practically babysit him.

Originally Posted By: Joani Reikspar
"I... I just want the cure and to leave.", she added hastily. She couldn't even look him in the eyes when she mentioned the cure.


Andrew sighed and rubbed his face with his hands. It hurt that at times his friends seemed more interested in his work than in himself. He tried to be understanding, to put himself into her shoes. He didn't know why Joani was trying to reclaim a false past, but that didn't matter it wasn't his life, it was hers.

"Fine." It came out terse and perhaps a little harsh. "I'll need to see you both in medical. I can't promise that one round of treatment will be a full cure however, it may need a second treatment." Andrew turned to leave, to head down to his lab. The door slide open and he stepped through but before it closed he stuck his head back in. "I'm sorry by the way. Everything I've done, I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that you don't trust me. I ..." he stopped and couldn't say any more. Without further word he headed toward his lab to prepare.
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"Andrew! Wait!", Joani yelled after him hoping he would come back. She realised she was too hard to him and needed to apologize herself. She took a few steps to the door and waited there adding, "I'm sorry, too... I'm just scared of you..."

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"It's... you've changed so much... and I had this nightmare...", her voice had a worryful undertone. "It keeps haunting me." She didn't know how to explain herself but she knew that they both were hurt. Everyone was hurt in some way and they had forgotten to look after each other to make sure everything was alright. They used to be good friends... best friends. "Please come back here, I need to look into your eyes when we talk."

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Andrew looked back over his shoulder, "You know as well as I that my eyes are little more and a quantum affectation, a facade I put forth for the benefit of the rest of you." As he spoke his features softened, blunted, and the colors blended until what stood before her was a gray man-shape. No discernible features of any kind existed, only the direction its feet pointed implied a front or back. "This is who I am. People look into each others eyes because they say the eyes are the windows to the soul. Well here's my soul, I don't think you'll get a better view." He shifted back and his shoulders slumped a little more. "I am a nightmare, I should hardly blame you for being scared." He turned to her and to Ulric behind her, "You've lost a great deal, possibly more than I can could ever comprehend. I'm sorry I couldn't have helped you more, Michael ... " Andrew trailed off into an angry silence.

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Ulric looks on Andrew with some level of understanding.

"You, of all of us, was as much as slave to your Quantum Nature - taint, as you were a Master of its capabilities. You are a different kind of being in a human shell. It is a very fragile shell, isn't it?"

Andrew does not find pity in Ulric's eyes. He finds some compassion, but more so a desire to understand Andrew as much as he can.

"Andrew, what are you going to do now? Are you going to go off on your own, stay here with what's left, or what?"

A kernel of an idea forms in Ulric's mind. Even compared to himself, Andrew is the smartest one and possibly immortal. To what ends would the brilliant shapeshifter come to alone?

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"Don't get started with Michael again, Andrew. I'm trying not to think about him at all.", she shook her head to clear her thoughts and wash away the anger that was threatening to take over again. As she opened her eyes again there was a faint red glow that subsided as she spoke with Andrew.

"All I ever wanted is to help you and you... pushed me away. All of us. I tried to keep an eye on you but that was nigh impossible. One night I had a terrible nightmare. It was the same night when we had that argument and you cloned yourself for the first time.", she paused a moment unsure if she should go on or not.

"It keeps coming back and it strongly affected my relation to you. I tried to keep as far away from you as I could... I was creeped out by your very presence, almost scared to death. I never told you, never told anyone about it.", she looked at Ulric with sorrow in her eyes. "I should have...", she shook her head again in an effort to fight back tears.

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Originally Posted By: Ulric Reikspar
" You are a different kind of being in a human shell. It is a very fragile shell, isn't it?"


"You've never understood, not one of you. Everything I've done, everything I've become was in an attempt to hold on to my humanity. The irony is that I am probably the least human of us all for it."

Originally Posted By: Ulric Reikspar
"Andrew, what are you going to do now? Are you going to go off on your own, stay here with what's left, or what?"


Andrew frowned, "I don't know. I haven't thought about it. I suppose I never expected to be so disgusted with everything, to know that all my actions only helped ... him. And then to find out just what the watchers are ... its fascinating and yet sad at the same time. They seek to live and yet they have removed the very defining nature of life from their existence."

Originally Posted By: Joani Reikspar
"All I ever wanted is to help you and you... pushed me away. All of us. I tried to keep an eye on you but that was nigh impossible."


Andrew shook his head. You never really tried, all of you, you spoke of watching me and helping me but you never asked what I wanted and you never listened to me when I told you. I pulled away to PROTECT you, all of you. I pulled as far away as I could because I wanted it to be easier for you to put me down when the time came ... I never once stopped trying but I didn't really believe I could find the cure. I ... I was waiting for the day when I would wake up and Andrew would be dead and I wouldn't care anymore."
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Joani couldn't believe what she heard. That was making even less sense to her than her feeble attempt of an explanation to go back in time and start over again.

"You wanted to make it easier for us? Any attempt of starting a conversation with you almost always ended in a fight. You had no control over you're impulses Andrew. There was no normal way to correspond to you!", her frustration was clearly painted on her face.

"Andrew - we're friends, do you understand that? Friends. Friends don't behave like that.", she didn't know how to get her point across to him. It was all she could say about what happened.

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"Friends shouldn't have to kill one of their own either," Andrew replied quietly. "It was, to my mind, only a matter of time before I crossed the threshold and was gone forever. Could you have killed me then? Could you intentionally, knowingly, put me down like a rabid animal?"

He shakes his head, "It doesn't matter now, what's done is done, perhaps I was a fool. Maybe the taint was, and still is effecting my rational thinking. I'd seen the heinous things we did in the name of the bright future. And I knew the things that I felt compelled to do, the things that took every bit of self control to avoid doing. If it came down to it I knew that Steve and Cody could pull the trigger, but would the rest of you let them? I did what I thought was right, first by hiding what I was becoming and later by pulling away."

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"Joani," Ulric said placing a hand on her shoulder, "what I think Andrew means is that he felt fated to lose his battle with his taint and felt the best thing he could do was severe the emotional entanglements that might have stopped us from doing something he felt was inevitable. He was sacrificing himself."

Looking at Andrew,

"I think some of that was the taint talking to you. I have my medical doctorate. Had you been of a different mindset, you could have asked me to help you and watch over you. After the children were grown, I certainly had the time."

"That is water under the bridge now. You won your struggle. Now we need your help fighting ours. Can you find it in yourself to help us?"

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Ulric wraps a comforting arm around Joani.

"Quiet your fears, Love. Andrew has only used the cure on himself so far - a trial of one. He doesn't want to give us unwarranted expectations, but we should also remember he is the brightest nova we have ever encounterd and he's put nearly a century of thought and effort into this."

Ulric does exude confidence in Andrew. It is in his posture, his speech, and his very aura that inspires. It as if he is saying that if Andrew wants to do it, it WILL be done.

How he really feels is less heroic. He fears for his wife. They are meddling with taint, that necrotic boogeyman, and Joani could pay the price, ... yet she needs this. To a lesser extent, he fears for Andrew. A collossul failure could put the man back, isolate him, and maybe even bring back his demons of inhumanity.

Still holding Joani tight, Ulric looks confidently at Andrew.

"We are ready."

Click to reveal..

Inspirational Leadership to Andrew: (Megas)(14:16:30) ChatBot: (Adrian) rolls 5d10 and gets 9,2,3,1,4 = 2 successes(14:16:42) ChatBot: (Adrian) rolls 12d10 and gets 3,9,2,4,8,8,8,8,9,6,3,2 = 6 successes +2 for the Mega=8.

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Andrew smiles. Ulric's words banished all doubt from his mind. He didn't ponder the possibility of a quantum nudge from the other man because his words simply rang true. "No side effects, none that I've experienced. The cure is a multi course treatment. At its current stage of development it will take quite a few treatments, each tailored to my new genetic build, to fully cure me of the taint damage. It will take fewer for each of you because you each have less taint damage. The continued data I get will also allow me to make improvements, I'll be able to better understand the genetic changes and anticipate the repairs that are needed."

Andrew gestures down the hall, "Come, let's see what healing we can perform!"

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"What if...", she didn't dare to ask and swallowed hard. Then she tried again, "What if the cure removes my node? I... I dreamed it would... again and again.", Ulric could feel that she was trembling admitting that. She looked at Andrew hoping he had an answer that would wipe away her fears.

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Andrew tried to suppress a chuckle but he failed, "Wait a second, you've been scared of me because you thought I was going to cut your node out or somehow un-erupt you?" He chuckles a bit more, "Sorry its just ... heh, seriously no, no worry at all. I'm sure I could come up with something that would work, that COULD un-erupt somebody but what if it got out of my control? Can you imagine the weapon that could become? No, I'll not even consider it. You've nothing to worry about, look at me, I'm on the mend aren't I"

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Ulric caught that. It almost made him stumble, mouth agape, but his long political training kept him on an even keel. A weapon that could remove the node from somebody - remove their ability to manipulate quantum. That was a stepping stone toward his eventual goal, but the doorway was definitely open.

"You are on the mend, we can tell, and we are glad you want to relate to us now."

He holds his wife tightly, giving her what comfort his touch and warmth can bring. It reminds him of what comes first - Her.

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2 weeks later...

Uncharted Waters

Joani had her quarters on board Lorean carefully arranged. In summary there wasn't much that really belonged to her. Her most treasured belongings had no meaning anymore and were tainted by her standards. Still she had tears in her eyes as she looked at the holograph photos of Kara and Gabriel. If she hadn't left back then, maybe the future would have been different for her. Even if it was just another shard of endless shards in the broken mirror what the universe had become to her. She realized that picking up one of those shards only resulted in getting cut.

Sighing she turned the display off and stuffed it back into the box. Everything that had an material aspect of her belongings was in that box. She closed it and fused the shutter with a keen application of her laser-eyes. Then she proceeded to weld it along the seams making sure there was no way to open it with mundane means aside from using brute force or a welder – a powerful welder. “Lorean, please keep this box somewhere in the storage area. I have no use for it.”

She was ready to leave. No possessions, no looking back. She stood there wearing the original costume that had made her famous decades ago. That was the only tie she had to her past and it was too integral to her being that she couldn't put it down and walk away from it. She made sure that everything was alright with her. Ever since the cure was administered to her she was wary of any changes happening to her. She woke up at nights having that same nightmare she had so many years ago. Even though Ulric and Andrew reassured her that she had nothing to fear of. The loss of her powers had been too traumatic even to a point that she considered herself useless if she was “just a baseline” again.

Joani had considered erasing her memory but had discarded that idea just as quick. Part of what this was all about was remembering what had happened. Even though it would take her longer to mend it was also the source of power to draw upon. She would never ever bear to witness a repetition of events like she had experienced.

Ulric asked her to consider saying farewell to the others and she reluctantly agreed – She wanted to leave as soon as possible but she also knew she owed at least a few words of good byes. Standing at Ulrics doors she knocked carefully and said quietly. “I'm ready my love.”

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There were some small trepedations helf by the former President of the Entire Planet Earth. He and his wife would be going out into a strange, yet familiar, world. No friends, only each other for allies, and a basic knowledge of the world they would face. Would there be novas? Were they're going to be psiads? What would they do about their pasts?

There was also enough time already spent worrying. Ulric had a pocket full of diamonds and a few period gold coins. Not a fortune, but that could come soon enough.

His first concern was Joani and the first meeting with her parents - on this world. That had to go off without a hitch. They wouldn't have a second chance for some time to come.

There was a knock at the door. It was time.

"Coming."

Ulric looked around his appartment. Few things had followed him this far. No banners or certificates, protraits, or paintings. Most of that had been left with his children ... probaby wasted now. No, there was nothing to keep him here and every reason to be gone. Joani, his love, was waiting. Ulric opened the door, walked out, and took her hand.

"Time we were gone."

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Ulric opened the door and there was a faint smile on her face that resembled the smile she once possessed in her youth. At least he could take it as a good sign - it meant there was hope.

Reassuringly she squeezed his hand and let her eyes speak for herself. She was getting nervous and impatient.

"We should say our good-byes to those that are still around, don't you think so?", she wasn't sure if her question would be well received or not.

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He didn't want to say good-bye to most of his team mates onboard. There was a level of distrust toward many of them now, a sense of betrayal at how things had turned out and how those events had been recieved. This wasn't paradise.

"Sure. We can see who is aboard ship before leaving. It shouldn't take long, though," he reached out and squeezed her hand, "I'm anxious to be starting our new life."

After all, who was left on board? Andrew? Who else? How bad could it be?

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They walked down the corridor past the quarters until they reached a point where Joani suddenly came to a halt. She had a distant look in her eyes, as if she remembered something. Her eyes wandered along the walls until they remained fixed on one door.

Kyria's quarters.

"I can hear her...", she said quietly. Kyria had been there for Joani when she needed someone to talk to and even though she was the daughter of the very man Joani had nothing left but hatred for she couldn't feel the same for his daughter. Kyria was different than him - she was not his slave.

"I'd like to tell her we're leaving. I think I owed it to her."

Joani pushed the button on the door to announce a visitor putting on a smile to hide her conflicting emotions.

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"Uh, just a minute!" came from behind the door. A moment later Kyria waved her hand over the motion detector. She blinked in surprise at seeing Joani and Ulric there, but smiled.

"Hey, I was just about to go looking for you." She had a shoulder bag slung over one arm and her room was as bare as it had been when she'd first arrived. "Omar and I are about to get going, and I wanted to say goodbye and wish you guys luck. Everyone's going so many different directions now, I'm not really sure who's going where with who, other than Omar and I." She didn't frown, but her expression fell a little. "Well, and Cody."

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"Cody is going with you?" Ulric asked politely. His demeanor was friendly enough, but a bit distant. They were abandoning their association after all.

"I would have thought you would have chosen a different path - tried something of a more independent nature."

If she wanted to go with ... him, so be it. As far as Ulric was concerned, Cody had betrayed their purpose whole-heartedly. There was no need to see him again.

Kyria merely had the taint of Michael about her. Joani wanted to see her, so he owed the young telepathy civility, if not friendship. He saw no reason not to keep his deceptions to a minimum. He didn't hate her so much as he despised her potential.

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Joani hesitated for a short moment and tried to focus on why she wanted to see Kyria in the first place. Everything else was just distraction.

"I... I never really thanked you back then. I'm sorry...", Joani was struggling with words. Just the hint of a thought about Kyria's father made her tremble and she clenched her fists in an attempt to fight it down.

"...about so much, Kyria. You're not to blame - I am the one who failed. I just wished we... I wished we would've met under different circumstances.", there were painful images of how Joani unloaded all her fury on Michael in an futile attempt to kill him and now there was only shame and a certain emptiness left. The Joani Kyria once knew from her childhood was gone.

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Her expression darkened further and she shook her head at Ulric's comment. "Hell n-...sorry, no. I won't be doing...that. I've spent most of my life being cont- being under my father's shadow. I'd like a little me time."

She was trying to stay calm, to talk with the rancor she felt, but it was hard. She'd found someone she cared for, someone who understood, and now he was abandoning her. That hurt and she was still enough of a teen to feel it more keenly than perhaps she should. She took a breath and tried again.

"Omar and I want to go somewhere....somewhere far away. Somewhere without Watchers. Without..." She shrugged. Whatever. "Without my fathers. Either one of them. I don't know exactly what Omar wants, except maybe a new adventure, but I want to be somewhere where I don't have a legacy to deal with. Where I don't have to live up to or live down my family."

She looked away and sighed. "Sorry, that probably all sounds really dramatic, but it's how I feel. I left Earth to try to find out who I was without my father pulling the strings, and we get here and find out there's just another giant in the playground playing puppets with us. It's....tiring. Crushing, almost. I want somewhere a bit more wild. Somewhere I can find out who I am without feeling like it's all got strings attached."

She reached out and squeezed Joani's arm affectionately. "Hey, you never failed me. You're one of the good memories I'll take to wherever it is I end up. Don't put too much on yourself, we all have our pasts. Luckily we still have our futures too."

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Kyria barely finished her sentence when Joani reached for her and drew her closer for an embrace. Words couldn't express how she felt, words had a way of messing up things, of making a simple matter complicated or trying to attach a label on something that wasn't supposed to be labeled.

Joani just held Kyria, like a sister, like a friend and somewhat like a mother. She was all that to her and there was no word that could describe it.

After a short moment of silence Joani pulled back from the embrace and smiled at Kyria through watery eyes. "Take care...", her voice was broken and faint.

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A smile crept across Ulric's face. He wasn't alone in his disgust with the Watchers. This wild teen gave the old statesman some validation in his anger. He couldn't say anything, of course. Lorean was one of them. Any mistep could cause him to be ... adjusted, if they even cared, which Ulric doubted they did. They had long ago stopped considering lesser beings as anything but playthings. Ulric's hatred crystalized.

"I'm sorry things didn't work out differently, but really how else could they have worked out, seeing who the Watchers are. The best we can do is ...go elsewhere, isn't it?"

He squeezed Joani's hand,

"We are leaving too, going to another world were we can be alone with our out fates and our own futures. Hopefully we will never encounter the Watchers or their works," he lied, sort of. He planned on meeting them again.

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