opnet [OpNet] All The Nova News That's Fit to Know

[N News Service]

TOMMY ORGY'S BODY FOUND

Tommy Orgy Holds Day of Mourning For Dead Duplicate

IBIZA, SPAIN - After an intense two-day manhunt, the body of Tommy Orgy was recovered from a hotel room in Ibiza, Spain.

Reports indicate that Tommy Orgy's duplicate had died of autoerotic-related spinal trauma when, unable to re-replicate himself and copulate, he tried the next best thing.

Tommy Orgy expressed relief tinged with sadness over the discover of his body.

"He was the sexiest man I have ever known. It was like he knew just what turned me on, and that's special in another man. I'll never see his like again - well, until I get a little rest in, that is."

Not everyone is in mourning, however. Various anti-nova groups have demanded that Tommy Orgy be tried for driving himself to murder. Police have declined to comment on the basis that they are not yet sure if there is a law against this.

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CAESTUS PAX TO GUEST-STAR ON 'SESAME STREET'

T2M's Resident Man-Mountain To Teach Kids Value of Humility

ADDIS ABABA - Sesame Street will have a new guest star in the upcoming 47th season.

Caestus Pax, Team Tomorrow's head director, will be touching down on 123 Sesame Street in a show that deals with the themes of getting along with others and admitting when you're wrong. The plot will involve a team-up with Super Grover and convincing Oscar the Grouch that he should share with others and try not to be bossy.

Caestus Pax could not be reached for comment. Project Utopia's Head Director, Justin J. Laragione, could.

"It was my idea," he said.

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NOVA KNOCKOUT'S NAME NOW KNOWN

Canadian Nova's Past Unveiled

CALGARY - The city's resident mystery nova became a little less mysterious today, as N! News Service reporters cracked the identity of 'Knockout.'

Knockout is Daniel Waters, a former University student at the University of Calgary. Knockout's first public appearance was on the North American version of the popular Japanese nova contest and exhibition program, Most Excellent Super Fight. After an incident involving fire and a non-fireproof jumpsuit, Knockout faded from public view, seen only occasionally in Calgary as well as Ibiza and Rio.

N! News sources did not go into detail on what may have caused Daniel Waters to erupt in such a fashion, although several humorous suggestions were made.

At this time of writing, Daniel Waters had yet to comment on this story. Richard and Mary Waters, Daniel's parents and landlords, were contacted just before posting time. However, their statement is inadmissible due to inappropriate language and pronoun-related argument.

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[David 'Dr. Troll' Smith]

Originally Posted By: N News Service

TOMMY ORGY'S BODY FOUND
Tommy Orgy Holds Day of Mourning For Dead Duplicate

...Reports indicate that Tommy Orgy's duplicate had died of autoerotic-related spinal trauma when, unable to re-replicate himself and copulate, he tried the next best thing.

Granted, being a clone means you can be a little more careless with your life... but I suspect the man has serious issues.

[Tori 'TK' Kryzchi]

*sigh*

You know, everytime I read Nova News, I become more and more disappointed that I am not part of it.

Originally Posted By: David 'Dr. Troll' Smith

but I suspect the man has serious issues.

Define issues. I am positive that most guys would try and do themselves if they could.

[Sandcaster]

As a fellow member of the Queer Nova Alliance, my condolences go out to Tommy Orgy.

And now, I'd like a very large aspirin, please.

[David 'Dr. Troll' Smith]

Originally Posted By: Tori 'TK' Kryzchi

Define issues. I am positive that most guys would try and do themselves if they could.

And kill themselves if they couldn't?

[z-Sean McCline]

Originally Posted By: N News Service

Reports indicate that Tommy Orgy's duplicate had died of autoerotic-related spinal trauma when, unable to re-replicate himself and copulate, he tried the next best thing.

Two comments:

1) What a way to go.

2) I've seen pictures of Tommy. Why didn't the clone just go out and pick up some tail?

Originally Posted By: N News Service

NOVA KNOCKOUT'S NAME NOW KNOWN
Canadian Nova's Past Unveiled

CALGARY - The city's resident mystery nova became a little less mysterious today, as N! News Service reporters cracked the identity of 'Knockout.'

Knockout is Daniel Waters, a former University student at the University of Calgary. Knockout's first public appearance was on the North American version of the popular Japanese nova contest and exhibition program, Most Excellent Super Fight. After an incident involving fire and a non-fireproof jumpsuit, Knockout faded from public view, seen only occasionally in Calgary as well as Ibiza and Rio.

N! News sources did not go into detail on what may have caused Daniel Waters to erupt in such a fashion, although several humorous suggestions were made.

At this time of writing, Daniel Waters had yet to comment on this story. Richard and Mary Waters, Daniel's parents and landlords, were contacted just before posting time. However, their statement is inadmissible due to inappropriate language and pronoun-related argument.

MORE >>>

Sounds like a bisexual's dream. I may have to take a trip up to Calgary. Just to, you know. Look around.

Whoa!! I found her Most Excellent Super Fight video here. Whoo! Know I know where she gets her name.

[Hugin]

I eagerly await the spectacle of Caestus Pax beating up Oscar for failing to share the Utopian Dream.

[David 'Dr. Troll' Smith]

Originally Posted By: Hugin

I eagerly await the spectacle of Caestus Pax beating up Oscar for failing to share the Utopian Dream.

Somehow I doubt Oscar will be boldly announcing his right to kill people.

[Hugin]

You are such an unbelievable simpleton.

[GDP_ST]

He won't need to announce his right to kill people.

All he'll need to do is state that his trashcan isn't for the whole world to come and take a dump in, and T2M will be carrying out an 'active intervention' in 0.3 seconds. Before he knows it, Oscar will be sequestered in Bahrain for "Quantum Backlash treatment" and "social rehabilitation".

Then N! will run a series of programs about Oscar's slow slide into misanthropy.

I'm so glad to be heatproof. Asbestos underwear chafes...

[David 'Dr. Troll' Smith]

Originally Posted By: Procyon

He won't need to announce his right to kill people.

All he'll need to do is state that his trashcan isn't for the whole world to come and take a dump in, and T2M will be carrying out an 'active intervention' in 0.3 seconds. Before he knows it, Oscar will be sequestered in Bahrain for "Quantum Backlash treatment" and "social rehabilitation".

My home isn't for the whole world to dump in.

::Crickets Chirp::

I can say that (so can Oscar). It must still be a free country. I guess the problem really does come with the killing people thing. Not that it isn't entertaining watching terats dance around that.

[Sandcaster]

Originally Posted By: David 'Dr. Troll' Smith

Originally Posted By: Hugin

I eagerly await the spectacle of Caestus Pax beating up Oscar for failing to share the Utopian Dream.

Somehow I doubt Oscar will be boldly announcing his right to kill people.

Dr. Troll, I can think of at least two municipal defenders that are Terats. Neither has, to my knowledge, ever claimed a right to kill people.

[Madison 'Vali' West]

Troll,

A) I work with a Terat without any problems, and

does this mean we should hold all Utopians complicit in Saxon's actions?

Terats are a diverse group of novas. Some have done and will continue to do some pretty horrific things. Some Utopians will go on to incite another Ibiza. Other Utopians do wonderful humanitarian work. Other Terats risk their lives to save the lives of baselines and novas alike.

Why don't we judge each member by his/her/its actions instead of lumping everyone's individual actions on the group as a whole?

[David 'Dr. Troll' Smith]

Originally Posted By: Sandcaster

Dr. Troll, I can think of at least two municipal defenders that are Terats. Neither has, to my knowledge, ever claimed a right to kill people.

Well, good for you, and good for them (I'm quite serious). That does however support what I said.

Originally Posted By: Madison 'Vali' West

does this mean we should hold all Utopians complicit in Saxon's actions?

That depends. Did the rest of Utopia boldly step forward and say that he was brutish but had the right to act as he did? I'm pretty sure we arrested the sick son of bitch and put him in a cell.

Quote:

Why don't we judge each member by his/her/its actions instead of lumping everyone's individual actions on the group as a whole?

It depends on whether the group backs the individual. There are serial killers who are also Eagle Scouts. The Scouting organization doesn't take it back, and we don't hold all Eagle Scouts guilty for that member's actions.

But I expect other Eagle scouts would, if they found out what their fellow member was up to, do the right thing and have him arrested.

As I understand it, the one belief all Terats appear to hold in common is they can't do that. They will not or can not police their own ranks. Worse, they appear to take offense at the idea of others doing it for them. It's individual responsibility without the responsibility.

[Warren Verona]

Originally Posted By: Sandcaster

Originally Posted By: David 'Dr. Troll' Smith

Originally Posted By: Hugin

I eagerly await the spectacle of Caestus Pax beating up Oscar for failing to share the Utopian Dream.

Somehow I doubt Oscar will be boldly announcing his right to kill people.

Dr. Troll, I can think of at least two municipal defenders that are Terats. Neither has, to my knowledge, ever claimed a right to kill people.

I got the right. Anyone who rubs my rubarb is getting a foot in their ass and a pistol whipping until whatever gods may exist decide to take the breath of the wretch ignorant enough to piss in my Cheerios.

Shame about Tommy. Fuck, if I could suck my own dick I'd never leave the house.

Like... ever.

[Magnum Opus]

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

[David 'Dr. Troll' Smith]

I guess that settles whether Knockout came out of the closet or was outted.

[z-Sean McCline]

Originally Posted By: Knockout

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

Oh, hey there. I didn't know you were a member of our boards. And don't worry about all that Calgary stuff. I was just kiddin'.

Unless you're interested. Then I'm not kidding.

[z-Brawlzilla]

I just got one question, Knockout: Are you a boy or a girl now?

[Madison 'Vali' West]

Troll, different group psychologies. Terats don't turn on, or in, their fellow members because they don't feel responsible for them. Utopians do.

You want to be seen as your Brother's Keeper. Good for you. Terats don't, as far as I know. I'm not a member of their club either. I guess this allows me to observe with a degree of humor the various defections from each other's ranks.

How many Utopians have gone on to become Terats and why?

How many Terats have become divorced from their movement and why?

Why don't we move this to another thread? Its got nothing to do with poor Knockout's outing, or Tommy Orgy's latest sexual misadventure.

[Hugin]

Why should she be so restricted, Brawlzilla? We're Nova, we can easily be beyond sex and/or gender.

[z-Brawlzilla]

Originally Posted By: Hugin

Why should she be so restricted, Brawlzilla? We're Nova, we can easily be beyond sex and/or gender.

Whatever. Maybe your light is both on and off, but some of us don't get that. I just know it's polite with transvestites to call them by the right gender, and I'm just trying to be polite.

[Trooper]

Sounds like a ladyboy that got her wish. Why is that such a big deal? It's 2017 for pissakes.

[Butterfly]

,,

Quote:

CAESTUS PAX TO GUEST-STAR ON 'SESAME STREET'

T2M's Resident Man-Mountain To Teach Kids Value of Humility

ADDIS ABABA - Sesame Street will have a new guest star in the upcoming 47th season.

Caestus Pax, Team Tomorrow's head director, will be touching down on 123 Sesame Street in a show that deals with the themes of getting along with others and admitting when you're wrong. The plot will involve a team-up with Super Grover and convincing Oscar the Grouch that he should share with others and try not to be bossy.

Caestus Pax could not be reached for comment. Project Utopia's Head Director, Justin J. Laragione, could.

"It was my idea," he said.

Caestus Pax educating others about humility?

That is like a Terat educating others about humanity.

[Mithril]

Call me anytime, Kayo. *hugs*

[Magnum Opus]

All right, I've calmed down enough now.

I don't really know much about PR and press conferences and I can't imagine one going well with the luck I tend to have, so I'm just going to put this in the thread and as a stock response to the 14,612 Emails I've gotten on the subject. (I counted.)

The short FAQ:

Yes, my 'real' name is Daniel Waters.

Yes, pre-eruption, I was a man.

Yes, I'm decidedly not one any more.

Was this what I wanted out of eruption? Search me. It clearly has to be something I wanted on some level or it wouldn't have happened, but it came as one hell of a shock to me. Came as an even bigger one to my parents.

Yes, the video Sean linked to is real. Yes, the name really translates as Most Excellent Super Fight. Just after my eruption, after things had gotten a little less insane at home, I decided I'd try to pay off some student loans by doing what my powers seemed to be specced for: punching other people out. They had a thing up on their opsite, and I figured: what's the worst that could happen?

As you can see in the video, my entire jumpsuit got burnt off live on TV. That's the worst that could happen. I still got a nice bit of money out of it, since after the Burninator burnt me to the buff he seemed distracted and stood still long enough for me to knock him out, but it got chipped away by FCC fines, and several lawsuits from 19 men and 1 woman complaining about severe emotional trauma. That was my first 15 minutes.

No, I'm not telling you how I erupted. Take the most embarrassing thing you ever did and multiply it by a thousand and you still don't have what triggered novahood in me.

Why haven't I been that visible since then, apart from a couple of times like the Phoneix Room? Because even before I was outed, everyone knew I was a nova on sight. Everyone, even the blind. It just got easier to stay inside, where no one would stare at me constantly - or to zip off to the woods in the middle of the night where I could get some fresh air. Of course, that's over now - there's three news vans parked on our street, and I get the feeling they won't take it well if I turn them upside down.

Yes, I still live with my parents. Next question.

Why was I outed? If I had to guess, I'd say that it's because I told Revenue Canada about the money I made last year, and they wound up auditing me on the basis that they thought I'd joined the CZ Syndicate. Someone must have talked, or overheard something or seen something, or whatever. I guess I knew it would have to happen eventually, but I just didn't want to think about it.

What am I going to do now? I have no idea. Right now I'm a mess and not in the right frame of mind to make big decisions. Mithril, stop by anytime, because I really could use someone to talk to.

No, I will not take my top off and put a shoe on my head. (This is more frequent a question than you'd think.)

[David 'Dr. Troll' Smith]

Originally Posted By: Madison 'Vali' West

You want to be seen as your Brother's Keeper. Good for you. Terats don't...

Not being my brother's keeper was the excuse made by Cain to try to hide that he'd killed his brother. It wasn't much of an excuse then either.

Originally Posted By: Knockout

Yes, pre-eruption, I was a man. Yes, I'm decidedly not one any more.

Ouch. Ah... what happens when you dorm?

Originally Posted By: Knockout

As you can see in the video, my entire jumpsuit got burnt off live on TV.

Sounds like you need a stronger costume.

Originally Posted By: Knockout

What am I going to do now? I have no idea. Right now I'm a mess and not in the right frame of mind to make big decisions.

Sounds wise.

Quote:

No, I will not take my top off and put a shoe on my head. (This is more frequent a question than you'd think.)

???

[Trooper]

Originally Posted By: David 'Dr. Troll' Smith

Ouch. Ah... what happens when you dorm?

Not everyone dorms you dumbass.

[z-Brawlzilla]

Originally Posted By: Knockout

Yes, pre-eruption, I was a man.

Yes, I'm decidedly not one any more.

But I was askin if yer brain is girly too, cause I read that trannies have boy brains with girl bodies and so on, and I wanted to know if ya still got a boy brain.

Originally Posted By: Trooper

Not everyone dorms you dumbass.

Given what I know about men and their stuff, I hope that KO don't dorm. Ever. Because... peel it lika banana, turn it inside out lika sock. Ya I got that from a website, and it made Golden Grindar blush and turn pale at same time.

[OOC: Yes, BZ's grammar is worse. I'm trying to type like her. Bear with me.]

[David 'Dr. Troll' Smith]

Originally Posted By: Trooper

Not everyone dorms you dumbass.

True, including me... but ask that question of me and I'll say I've got no desire or reason to learn.

If she can say the same then that answers many questions.

[Machina]

Originally Posted By: Knockout

No, I will not take my top off and put a shoe on my head. (This is more frequent a question than you'd think.)

tits or gtfo

[Machina]

Originally Posted By: Danny Deader

Shame about Tommy. Fuck, if I could suck my own dick I'd never leave the house.

Like... ever.

There isn't enough money in the world for me to want to fuck me.

You know, kid, your dilemma raises a lot of interesting questions, and Beezy kinda hit on them already. It wouldn't be quite right to ask whether or not your brain is a chick's - your physical body looks pretty damn feminine, and I'd be surprised to find out your brain hadn't followed suit, which means that you've got a gal's brains. That don't mean you got a gal's thoughts, though. So what's it like, kid? You still like broads? You find yourself liking guys? (I guess that's only relevant if you didn't before you erupted.) You find yourself compulsively asking for directions, wanting to shop every goddamn day, beginning all your sentences with "I feel..." and merging into freeway traffic at 20mph without signaling?

[David 'Dr. Troll' Smith]

Quote:

There isn't enough money in the world for me to want to fuck me.

Interesting. I've thought of killing myself but not of having sex with myself. The idea just never occured to me until this thread. I wonder if this means I'm repressed?

Quote:

You find yourself compulsively asking for directions, wanting to shop every goddamn day, beginning all your sentences with "I feel..." and merging into freeway traffic at 20mph without signaling?

Ouch.

[Contessa]

Don't you worry about a thing Knockout! Who you were doesn't matter. We like you who you are now and that person (from what I've heard/read about) is an absolutely fantastic person.

"This above all: to thine own self be true."

Just ignore Grumpy McSucks@life, he's still mad because when Stellar was on the market to date a real man he didn't make the cut. He’s more than likely the reason most Nova females are lesbians. Trust me, if I had choice between Machina and a woman I wouldn’t be to thrilled with either but I’d have to choose the one that didn’t smell like jerk face pickled in gin.

[z-Sean McCline]

*grabs popcorn and sits back to watch*

[Madison 'Vali' West]

*sits down next to Sean, steals some popcorn, notices the time and curses as babysitting duty calls*

[z-Sean McCline]

Wait... is it still babysitting if it's your own kid? Because if so... I owe myself a TON of back pay.

[Machina]

Originally Posted By: Funshine Bear

Just ignore Grumpy McSucks@life, he's still mad because when Stellar was on the market to date a real man he didn't make the cut. He’s more than likely the reason most Nova females are lesbians. Trust me, if I had choice between Machina and a woman I wouldn’t be to thrilled with either but I’d have to choose the one that didn’t smell like jerk face pickled in gin.

Well, well. Look who grew a pair. What happen, sweet cheeks? Someone finally dick the vapid out of you? Or was it corrective brain surgery to fix all that dropping on your head your parents subjected you to as an infant? Either way, kiddo, it's good to see you've dropped the act. I've met Kurdish nuns less repressed than you were.

[z-Clark]

Originally Posted By: Knockout

Yes, my 'real' name is Daniel Waters.

Yes, pre-eruption, I was a man.

Yes, I'm decidedly not one any more.

Could we meet? I would like to study your quantum development, in an non-invasive and respectful way.

I respect that you may not wish this intrusion on your life. Please let me know.