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Goodbye


Wakinyan
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Hello all,

As many of you (if not all of you) know by now I am Vector. I had more or less taken a break from RPG-Post for six months or so kept my head down and did my best to stay out of trouble. So lately I decided to start over and when I created Alex he was to be my fresh start a way to move into RPG-Post with a new outlook and maybe try to put things behind me with people who I have did my best to be friends with.

However I messed up again when I came back. I put my new character in a position I shouldn't have and in retrospect it was a mistake.

I also saw some things in chat that I probably shouldn't have.

People who flat out say what I did was unforgiveable and want nothing to do with me.

People who flat out say they hate me even though they do not know me.

People I consider friends who flat out say they wouldnt have any dealing with me at all if it wasn't for being so closely tied to my characters.

To say I am crushed by this is frankly an understatement. But it also finally opens my eyes. There was no taking some time off. There was no just sitting back and hoping time healed wounds I have caused. There is no fresh start to be had here.

You don't need to reply and remind me that I brought this on myself or where exactly I fucked this all up. I am aware of it, I seriously doubt I ever forget it.

I want you all to know that despite my mistakes all I ever came here to do was to write entertaining stories and make friends and I am truly sorry I failed at that.

With that in mind I am going to wrap up some loose ends I have hanging and retire from this site.

It hurts, I cannot say how much it does so. I have met a lot of great people and this place has been a source of enjoyment for me for over four years. But given what I saw tonight I just don't think it would be possible for me to stay knowing that is the way it is and will always be.

Sincerly,

Kris

,,
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Triple P, I do know Waki has been deciding if this was going to be permanent. Last year he said he'd see how things were at the end of 2006, and he sorta/kinda came back.

Honestly now he has issues that are either unresolvable or simply put he doesnt see that his future lies in sticking around.

Outside of this, I wash my hands in the matter. Since he's not here to defend or explain himself, it's also not my duty to do the same. I washed my hands of the matter a while ago. I'm sure I am one of those "friends" he referred to as stabbing him in the back.

So be it.

Hopefully wherever he goes, he starts off on a different foot.

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I think it was a mistake for you to come back under a blanket of subterfuge. We've all seen you in the chat rooms from time to time over the last couple months, so it's no secret that you were back. I don't know why you bothered to try and bullshit anyone about this.

You're going to have to accept that some people here just aren't going to talk to you anymore or want anything to do with you. If that's too much for you, so be it. But a lot of people here aren't particularly well liked; I sure as hell don't like everyone here, myself. It doesn't seem to be deterring anybody but you.

My advice to you is to just deal with the fact that some people here aren't going to play with you and move on. Start over if you want. Retire Waki if you want. But at least be honest about what you're trying to pull. Trying to clean slate by bringing in Vector as some huge secret was a bad idea. If you want people to accept you being around, you're going to have to at least be honest about what's going on.

You've done a lot of work here, and I'm always kind of bummed to see anybody leave here. Our population is so small that anyone leaving kind of diminishes the whole place. I like to think that anybody can turn their shit around, but then again, you didn't wrong me, either. I'd rather not see you throw in the towel, but if that's what you're going to do, don't play games. Tell everyone what's up and deal.

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Here we go again.

You can't accept that people don't get personal warm fuzzies from you, Kris? You can't stand the fact that I bust my ass to make solid IC interaction and one helluva good story with you even though I wouldn't touch you OOC with a ten-foot pool and a biohazard suit? You can't just let the fictions and OpNet posts stand on their own, a fun thing that doesn't require anyone to personally like you or vice-versa? You can't suck it up and bear to be seen after having been called on doing exactly what you claim to despise in others by faking a new identity?

You snivelling, drama-queen coward. Go right ahead and wrap it all up, if that's what you want. Have Waki pull a Judge Crater, and yank the rug out from under the delicate web of character interaction (again). Just don't plan on Timeslip being your cover-story this time around; she's busy facing up to her own music, and won't be conveniently porting Wakinyan to wherever.

And leave your moccasins outside the door.

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I have to agree with Seph. If you wanted to start over, make amends, great. It's been my experience here that most of the people on N!Prime are ridiculously forgiving and tolerant. ...But if someone doesn't trust you, the best way to win back that trust is to be honest. Don't skulk around, don't play super-secret CIA agent, don't pretend to be someone else or hide behind a character. All of these are disingenuous ways of avoiding the problem, and if your goal was to repair some of the damage you've done, you went about it in the worst possible way. You've only reinforced many of the opinions that I, and others, have about you.

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OK, I've calmed down a bit.

Simply put, Kris, my character's story is inextricably interwoven with that of Wakinyan. I've no idea what your plan is regarding "wrapping up loose ends," but I can tell you that this is one loose end that needs more then just a slap-dash job if you are really serious about making this a permanent goodbye.

I'm very, very tired of having Ptesan-Wi's world rocked every couple of months with major paradigm changes courtesy of Wakinyan. He's taken another wife, he's in prison, he's home, he's taken another wife, he's blown up a city, he's home, he's impregnated someone else, he's in another world, he's home, he brings back Silvertalon, etc, etc. So simply put, if you are going to retire the character, show the courtesy to do so in some fashion that does not leave the character's wife hanging on a thread for the next several decades. In short: if you're serious about leaving to never return, make it final and kill off Wakinyan.

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Here we go again. For the love of God, Kris, just leave or don't. It literally doesn't matter to me. I don't care anymore. It's just sad that you keep yo-yoing like this.

Do you want people to like you? Then treat them with dignity and respect, or what passes for those things here.

Do you want people to trust you? Then act like you're worthy of trust.

It's on you, dude. No one is going cut you any slack because you're weeping tears into your keyboard. But it isn't going to be easy. Vivi is right. People here are quick to forgive, and I'm one of the quickest. But you ate up every ounce of forgiveness I had for you, and asked for more. You're on empty, as far as I'm concerned. And that will be where you're starting from. It will be a lot of hard work, and you'll have to exhibit some real change.

From what I can tell, you're better liked than Dreamer, which is saying something. But Dreamer still comes around, again and again. If you can't sack up and handle the heat from the fire you cooked out here, then bail. But don't expect that people are going to beg you to stay, or be sad to see you go. You haven't earned that reaction from us.

All I'm asking - and I think that I've earned this much, considering that a lot of my anger toward you came from your treatment of my roommate and friend - is that you do as PW requests and give her real closure. She's written herself into a corner with her character; the least you can do is cut a hole in the wall for her to climb through.

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Dawn, I love you to death but your last post scream total bullshit to me. Yesterday and at least a few times before I have heard people say things like..Nothing will change and somethings can't be forgiven.

And I have this rare personality that lets me ignore most bullshit and not care about a large portion of things. I can't even think of anyone on this forum who if they did nothing to me for about a week, two weeks tops that I could even be upset with. Craig and Rev are the ones that piss me off the most but I don't dislike them..But I may react big to small things but I let even big things go away rather fast. That is why I am here. That and I know a few people on this site that I love to death.

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Originally Posted By: Catalyst
Dawn, I love you to death but your last post scream total bullshit to me. Yesterday and at least a few times before I have heard people say things like..Nothing will change and somethings can't be forgiven.

And I have this rare personality that lets me ignore most bullshit and not care about a large portion of things. I can't even think of anyone on this forum who if they did nothing to me for about a week, two weeks tops that I could even be upset with. Craig and Rev are the ones that piss me off the most but I don't dislike them..But I may react big to small things but I let even big things go away rather fast. That is why I am here. That and I know a few people on this site that I love to death.

That is you, and your opinion. My point is that despite all the hassle that folks give you, you still come back. Regardless of the ways you tolerate the heat, you stick around.
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And the forgiving part?Cause I know damned well i am not going to be forgiven. I am pretty sure that Waki will never be forgiven either.

Can you say that you could ever forgive him? BTW you above all people should know that I have forgiven people who have done worse things. Then again, that is just me. I know that the only thing that stops you form forgiving is yourself.

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Originally Posted By: Catalyst
And the forgiving part?Cause I know damned well i am not going to be forgiven. I am pretty sure that Waki will never be forgiven either.

Can you say that you could ever forgive him? BTW you above all people should know that I have forgiven people who have done worse things. Then again, that is just me. I know that the only thing that stops you form forgiving is yourself.

Way to make this about you. Reread what you write. I'm only human - I have limits. And Waki has done what I once thought impossible: he has shown me that I do have the capacity to say, "No, you don't get forgiveness from me."

Part of forgiveness if repentence. Now, if you want to discuss this, start another thread. This is not the place for you to display your moral high horse complete with greeting card sayings to show how awesome you are.
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Catalyst: regarding forgiveness, I've a funny little story to tell.

Very shortly after I came to N!Prime, I wound up in a knock-down, drag-out verbal war with Noir. It was hot, it was nasty, and it lasted for months. We sincerely hated each other.

Incredibly enough, that changed, and we wound up... well, if not friends, at least friendly. Noir's departure (by and large) from N!Prime in the wake of the chat reformatting is one that I feel accutely.

Forgiveness can indeed happen, even from a die-hard, cast-iron bitch like me.

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Oh also thank you all for giving me your two cents about this. Wether to stay or not. Frankly I was hurt last night and I needed to vent.. Not saying I am not leaving to the point I am trying to come up with a good solid idea. The truth is without making it read forced it's not easy try and make this happen.

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Prett much the best way to seal the deal with it.. Waki despite his or my failings has always been a subject I have written passionatly about. I believe my high water mark with him was 'Oh lord don't let me be misunderstood' and I really want to have that sort of inspiration and write at that level to give him what he deserves if I am going to exit him from the stage.

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Suggestions:

1) Give him one more dot of taint.

2) Hold a writting contest.

3) Project Pro decides to take him out and sends an elite after him. It's pretty much have to be "T".

4) He sacrificies himself for others.

5) He learns how to dorm and gets shot in the head while his powers are down (or even hit by a car).

More on #1: He loses his mind and has to be put down. He goes back to nature as an animal. He gets some horrible disease related to taint and rots over a week or so. He gains the power clone and fights himself to death (the clone wins). Time Slip drops him into another world.

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