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[Fiction] Samarha-Memories


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It's an interesting odor. Almost out of place. Sun and surf. But the scene is just like every day, a small home, filled with books and the sound of sports programs. The Man is drinking again. Again? Well, he always seems to have half a drunk on. I just sit, quietly as usual, and read. Escape into books. They are my refuge. Just let myself float into them and have a better life than the one I have now. Full and whole. Not a half-crippled head-case. But The Man keeps that from happening.

It's always The Man.

Thug. Ape. Brute. Idiot. The chain around my soul and the barren ice in my heart.

Why can't he just go away?

He screams for me. The words make no sense. A garble. The hooting of some flea-ridden baboon. Oh, he's here now. Looming over me. His sloping brow and stubbled face completeing the baboon idea.

His fist flies. Yet again. Something about spending all my time with that dyke. The Man is about to hurt me again. Again. Again. Again.


I feel strong. My hand reaches up and stops him. I catch him by the wrist.

I tell The Man that there will be no more. No more anger. No more insults. No more me.

I feel strong. The colors in the world erupt around me. The books sing. They shout encouragement. Barrie calls me off to Neverland. Milton shouts for me to find Paradise. Lovecraft promises to show me the light places out in the stars to counter the dark where dread things sleep. Homer wants me to be his amazon, to run the fields of Troy. Robinson tells me to come in and have a drink, tell a tale and smash a glass with his friends.

I look at The Man. There is fear in his eyes. I glance at the window and I stand tall and true. I am beautiful. I am nova. I smile at him and push him back to his chair. I tell him it is over. I am free. I walk out. I am whole and he is left behind with a life I do not want.

Time passes.

I am in her arms. We sleep in her spacious bed. The hot South American sun beats down upon us and dries our sweat. She is beautiful. My warrior woman. My love. She tells me she must go. A client needs her. Pursuer is causing problems. As she stands I reach out to her. I speak to her. I entreat her to leave this life. We both have enough money. Team Tomorrow paid me well. Her work has paid her well. We can leave these lives, we can be together, forever. She smiles and nods. She makes a call. Breaks a contract and takes me back in her arms.

Time passes.

We sit in the Amp Room, hands intertwined, smiling into each other's eyes. Enjoying ourselves, our lives. The literacy foundation is going well. As good a warrior as she had been she is a better teacher. We're hear to meet another former warrior. Someone who wants to leave the life behind. His name is Franklin.

He is beautiful. An Ares to her Artemis. His snow white hair is as pure as the heart I see in him. We speak. Sparks fly. She encourages me. He flirts. I flirt back. Later we all lay, steaming and languid. The room is a mess. The bed is broken, again.

Time passes. My two loves and I form a triangle. A perfect symbol. Heart, Body and Soul we are connected. He two is an excellent teacher. We all explore philosophy. We evolve and grow. We move from teaching literacy to teaching the philosophy we've learned. Transhumanity with soul and love. The next step for our people. Apart but allied with our baseline cousins. It is wonderful. It is a good life. It is beautiful.

But, then, like always, I have to awake. In Franklins arms. Tears come when the appearence of sun and surf verifies that this is the reality. That was only what could have been. Should have been.

But he smiles at me. It may not be perfect, but it is still so lovely.

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