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[Fiction] Alchemist: Birds and Bees (Canon Consideration)


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Ask him to describe the dividing of cells at conception in scientific terms and he could do it. Ask him to explain the role of pheromones in sexual attraction and he could do it. Ask him to talk about the mating rituals of hydrogen and oxygen molecules to create water and he could do it. Ask him to explain the birds and the bees to his thirteen-year-old daughter Dorothy during an access visit and he was well and truly up the proverbial creek without the proverbial paddle.

"Well, um, when two people, ah, get together," he began, blushing as Dorothy watched him with wide, innocent eyes, "If they're not careful, they could, ah, end up having kids. Umm..."

He coughed embarrassedly, scratching his balding head in confusion. How in God's name was he supposed to explain something so adult to a child who was playing with Barbie dolls the last time he saw her?

Dorothy sat patiently through her father's bumbled attempts at explanation. He had to bless for her that. Why couldn't she have asked him about a science subject instead?

As the conversation progressed, Alchemist found himself wishing for a WCK conference with worldwide media exposure in place or some major catastrophe to hit Chicago instead of having to do this family duty. Was this his ex-wife's revenge for being more married to his research than her?

Finally, Alchemist gave up, and like he always did, rattled off the scientific facts in a tone as dry as old papers and told her to ask her mother to explain the rest. When Dorothy left, he buried his face in his hands and wept.

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