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[OpNet] 8-11-2015: (PUB) My god it's ben a while.


Sakurako Hino

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Mood: Blank

I'm now siting at the point, where when completed, I will be responsible for the safety of every citizen in Tokyo, and soon after that, in Japan. What I trade for being able to return home and be near the graves of my ancestors. My homeland. My spiritual center.

When I was away, I couldn't feel but hurt. I STOPPED a madman with assistance from several good friends. Hell, who am I kidding, they stopped him, not me. I was busy bleeding on the floor of my cargobay.

But still, he was stopped.

In return... I get treated like I'm the criminal.

Needless to say, I shouldn't have offered like I did to help them better protect themselves from disasters and other related emergencies.

But, I did.

Why?

I think I still care. Perhaps Japan thought they were giving and giving and giving and was looking for some quid pro quo. I'd understand that, but why the theatrics they put me through to make their point? Exiling me, then opening the door for a return? Captive audience I think. But... it worked. Got me to think of more tham myself, damnit. Then again, I usually don't have time for myself.

Sigh... I can feel that pain again. Not physical... but in the soul. When I was invited to Long's wedding... I've started to feel it.

Someone's abandoned me... I don't know why. But he has. Perhaps it's what I said during my last crisis. Perhaps it started after my affair at the pow-wow... I don't know. All I know is... he's gone. I have nothing left of him but the memories.

...

Damn him. Why did he even want to be with me in the first place. How could he have toyed with my heart like he did.

I WAS GONNA MARRY HIM!!! HE WAS TO BE THE FATHER OF MY CHILDREN....

DAMN HIM TO HELL!!! I'D RATHER BE WITH MY DRONES!!!*connection lost*

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E, it isn't always meant to be. He is a wanderer and, I believe, never wants to fit in anywhere. He is more comfortable being the detached outsider.

You got close to him. I don't imagine he meant to hurt you, though I doubt that means too much right now. In essence, he felt as if he was going to lose who he was, the only self he has ever been comfortable with, and he couldn't take that step. It wasn't you, it was him.

He cares about you, I'm pretty sure of that. It is just that some people can't live with happiness.

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