Wakinyan Posted September 2, 2005 Share Posted September 2, 2005 Thoughtwave, Well here you go. Writing just like you suggested. I'm not sure what to say right now. I guess I could tell you a little about myself but of course you have seen what I look like. I am going through some rough times at current but I figure we all do at some point. I do not know much about you however. New to the board I don't think I have seen what you look like or anything since I cannot find information about you in the N! Nova database. So tell me about yourself. Wakinyan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ptesan-Wi Posted September 2, 2005 Share Posted September 2, 2005 Hi Wakinyan!We'll, my name's Renee, and I'm 16. Pretty much all of my stuff is mental -- mindreading and things like that. I'm definitely not one of those "fly into the jaws of doom" kinda novas. In fact, I'm not the fly anywhere kind of nova; flying didn't come with the package for me, and I won't be throwing any cars or things around, but I did get some really good vision out of the deal, and apparently my IQ jumped -- I blew the Mensa test out of the water.Had kind of a bad experience with Project Utopia, and would just as soon stay out of their grabby little club. I'm sort of on my own now, living with a couple of friends until I can really get my feet on the ground.That's pretty much me in a nutshell. Well, other than the "vitals" -- black hair, brown eyes, 5'2" and about a hundred pounds. Not that any of that really matters; outside looks are overrated once you've seen inside someone's mind.I guess I was just hoping that maybe I could give you someone to talk to, and maybe you could do the same for me. You sound like you're going through a really hard time, and I wish I could help somehow. -- Thoughwave Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wakinyan Posted September 2, 2005 Author Share Posted September 2, 2005 Wave, I notice I have been rather selfish of late. I am glad your own issues are improving though good to have friends who can help you out in a pinch, I think I might drop to much of my emotional baggage on mine. As far as Utopia goes I never hated them but I never liked them. They always considered me unsafe for public consumption and I guess now they might be right. Have you manifest and Quantum Backlash yet? I know each of us erupt differently and I am always curious how it turns ou. also I have found just because you can throw a car doesn't mean you should. Wakinyan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ptesan-Wi Posted September 2, 2005 Share Posted September 2, 2005 Wakinyan,I haven't had any of the side-effects hit me yet. I've been lucky that way.As for emotional baggage -- that's part of what friends are for. They help you work stuff out. Otherwise, you end up buried under your own baggage. I found that out...and I'm glad that I did find a person I could talk to about things.That's part of why I'm writing to you. So you can have someone else to help with that sort of thing. -- Thoughtwave Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wakinyan Posted September 2, 2005 Author Share Posted September 2, 2005 Wave, I've got more baggage in me than goes through O'hare in a year. It's not easy floating from one moment to the next when one moment you want nothing more in the world than to make love to someone and then the moment they do anything to displease you all you want to do is strike at them. My friends need to be saints I swear. I am glad QB hasn't his you yet. Some get a little some get a lot. But I don't wish it on anyone not even that asshole Tarot. It is great you are talking to me. Even better I haven't met you. That isn't meant to offend you. Just saying that if I don't have your scent then I don't have to worry about getting imbalanced over it. Safer for you all around What kind of music do you listen to? Wakinyan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ptesan-Wi Posted September 2, 2005 Share Posted September 2, 2005 Wakinyan,You know, your the first person to ask me that since the change. It's going to sound corny, but I like classical. Bach, Mahler, Rachmoninov, that sort of stuff. But I can listed to just about anything...well, anything that isn't twangy country & western.Why wouldn't I be safe if I met you? Actually, it could be that with my mental mojo, you could be the one in trouble... Actually, I kinda stay clear of most novas. I have a disruption power that never quite shuts down, so I sorta fritz other novas out a bit, and they don't much like it. That's part of the reason that I'm not very public.So what sort of music do you like? And movies? -- Thoughwave Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wakinyan Posted September 2, 2005 Author Share Posted September 2, 2005 Wave, I have had my brain fried more than once by a telepath because I cannot control myself. And it never is a good idea to put me in a one on one situation with a female I tend to react poorly. You have nulifying powers? That's pretty cool I don't really know anyone but Jager who has anything like that. I am sure though if you cannot control it it would piss off Novas.Music wise I like a lot of old stuff. Elvis and such, some country to but old stuff. Hank William, Waylon Jennings. Industrial and more modern stuff I enjoy but it tends to get me worked up into a frenzy easily. I tend to play the classicals you like when I need to settle down. I hate to admit that music has such a profound affect on me but it does. Movies?? Well I haven't been to a theater since I got kicked out of one last fall while watching 'The Rending' Love watching monster flicks. But once again anything in a film that plays with your emotions will do me in as well. Last thing you need to see is a Griffin bawling like a baby. Wakinyan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ptesan-Wi Posted September 3, 2005 Share Posted September 3, 2005 Wakinyan,Well, it's a nulifying power, but it's pretty weak. Enough to be annoying, and that's about it. Happens whenever I use my other powers; one of my very few nova friends says that it's a "linked" power, that it's why I burn through my energy so fast, and that I'm probably stuck with it.Don't be embarrassed to admit that music has a strong effect on you. Music is one of the most powerful mental stimulants imaginable; you would be amazed what I see happen in a mind when different styles of music are played. Personally, I think that the people who claim that it doesn't do much for them are either squelching themselves or emotionally dead.I used to watch all the classic monster flicks, too. "The Ring" is a great old classic, and so is "Wolf". But I like some of the feelgood stuff, too; "French Kiss", "OpNet Affair", that sort of thing.OK, so I have to ask: why do you react poorly around girls? I mean, is it a scent-triggered chemical thing? Or is it something else?Gotta go; I'll check my mail again later tonight! -- Thoughtwave Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wakinyan Posted September 3, 2005 Author Share Posted September 3, 2005 Wave,Well it is countless things that do it. Scent being one strong one, I can literally smell the biological processes going on. If a female ovulates near me I know it. Sorry that might sound gross but this is what I deal with on a daily basis. There are far more cues for me as well. I can hear a heart beat I can sense when someone is excited and hence excites me. I see blood flow through the skin, a flush means several things. Even just the female form entices me perhaps like any other male but mix it with all the other things and women can be intoxicating. Luckily I have been around only one female nova with super human beauty. Luckily for me she is receptive to my nature. In a way I feel ashamed about what I have done. But in a way I do not I have been working very hard to accept who am I and... If that means this is how I react then I just have to move on with my life I cannot dwell in it. Wakinyan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ptesan-Wi Posted September 3, 2005 Share Posted September 3, 2005 Wakinyan,,,Quote:Out of the night that covers me, Black as the Pit from pole to pole, I thank whatever gods may be For my unconquerable soul. In the fell clutch of circumstance I have not winced nor cried aloud. Under the bludgeonings of chance My head is bloody, but unbowed. Beyond this place of wrath and tears Looms but the Horror of the shade, And yet the menace of the years Finds, and shall find, me unafraid. It matters not how strait the gate, How charged with punishments the scroll, I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul.That's Invictus, by William Ernest Henley. It's a really artsy way of saying, "be true to yourself, no matter what." And it's right. Wakinyan, you've got to be what you are, just like I have to be what I am. I think we both kinda hide a little -- or a lot -- of that when around polite company, but when we are on our own or with trusted friends, we not only can be true to ourselves; we must be who we really are inside. And if your trusted friends can't understand or handle that, well, maybe they aren't such good friends afterall.Yes, you get sorta overheated around girls. And I get kinda snoopy with people's noggins. It's close enough to instinct for both of us that it may as well be instinct. We can keep a handle on it when we have to, but if we don't let ourselves kick back and go with the flow now and then, we'll go nuts.I'm not sure where I'm going with this, other than to say: be yourself. -- Thoughtwave Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wakinyan Posted September 3, 2005 Author Share Posted September 3, 2005 Wave,I came to the same conclusion not long ago. I did some thing I wasn't proud of. But I understood it as something that makes me, me.Now here is the real problem. I don't think the world that is can be the world that allows me to be myself. I needed to live a thousand years ago. I do not think my existence will be tolerated much longer. Not just by the powers that be but my friends as well. They are not going to allow me to steal girls away or kill and they will do what they can to stop me. If I restrain myself which I can do sometimes then all I am doing is putting myself in a cage and that to me looks as tempting as dying. I keep thinking that someone can add stability to my life. But I realize that I might have been fooling myself with that idea. Wakinyan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ptesan-Wi Posted September 3, 2005 Share Posted September 3, 2005 Wakinyan,Hmmm...that's a toughie. I mean, if you really do have an urge to swoop in and grab girls off the street, you're kinda stuck with (1) scaring the heck out of a lot of girls, (2) forcing yourself to not do it, or (3) staying away from most people.Problem is, the only way I would know better which one of those things might work best with your subconscious would be to look inside your head...and well, that lets my stuff out of the box around another nova, with all the problems that come with it.By "someone to add stability to your life," do you mean like a girlfriend? 'Cause the thing to remember there is that, when you decide to share with someone like that, there has to be a little take and give going on. No two people are the same, and unless one is willing to completely subjugate themselves to the other, both have to kinda come to terms with each other. If it works out right, you should still be able to be yourself much or even most of the time, but there would be moments when she needs you to be what she needs, just as much as you need her to be what you need.Yeah, I know -- pop psych from a 16-year old. But I've learned a heck of a lot more about this stuff in the past little while than most folks pick up in a doctoral course -- I got it straight from the brain, no funny ten-penny words needed. -- Thoughtwave Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wakinyan Posted September 3, 2005 Author Share Posted September 3, 2005 Wave, Your options are pretty much on the mark. Though I don't just snatch random girls. I snatch the ones who interest me. I tend to get tunnel vision about it. I do not think far enough ahead that they might not like being taken so forcefully. It angers me to. I mean how much of a compliment is it to have someone so interested in you they go out of their way to literally sweep you off your feet? Now I am not talking about some crazy guy in a van stealing kids and killing them. What I want isn't some sadistic murderous desire. But that aside I have to admit their is a reason beyond just paying them a compliment like that. I look to mate it's as pure as that. I also grab them in the hopes that it shows me as the dominant male I should be. Once again not very modern of me but... There it is. As for stability, well I know this much about wanting a companion. Whenever I am lucky enough to be graced with one fulfilling my needs I tend to be a lot more calm and a lot less unstable. What does that mean? I am still working on that. I really don't mind bouncing these things off you. In fact you are the first person to ever want to hear what I have to say about all this. Thank you for that. Wakinyan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ptesan-Wi Posted September 3, 2005 Share Posted September 3, 2005 Wakinyan,Hey, I have to thank you too; it's nice to be able to talk -- well, write -- with someone more or less openly. Believe me, I don't mind hearing what you're going through; like I said, it seemed like you really needed someone to talk to, and if nothing else, I'm pretty good at that.I can understand the enchantment of being swept off my feet. But it's kind of a scary thing, too; that whole "complete subjugation" thing again. It would have to be the type of thing where the girl knows you, so that you don't scare the pants off of her.You now, maybe one of these days I'll have to meet you in person, so that I can take a look inside and really see you -- it would give me a much better idea where you stand, and that would help me to help you. I don't think either of us is really in a "meet-and-greet" mood right now, but sometime down the line maybe. -- Thoughtwave Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wakinyan Posted September 3, 2005 Author Share Posted September 3, 2005 Wave, Well I think it is going to come down to I do not think I will be able to meet in the middle. I might have to have someone who understands me enough to let me display my bravado or whatever when I need to. Hopefully I can get the pants off without having to scare them off. As for meeting sure that would be nice. Once things settle down and I get a grip. Best bet is indoors and public place.. I hope your life stabilizes for you as well. You seem to be happy at least from what I read so that is a good thing. Are you in school? Figure with a nice big brain like yours that might be a waste of time huh?Wakinyan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ptesan-Wi Posted September 3, 2005 Share Posted September 3, 2005 Wakinyan,Actually, I haven't gone back to school. I'm helping my friend with her company -- sitting in on board meetings and stuff like that, making sure that what she is being told is the truth. It's kinda overwhelming, in a way; I'm earning a salary (a really good salary), and it's really great knowing that I'm actually doing something real, not just clawing through textbooks.I just wish I didn't have to be so, well, shut-in I guess would be the way to say it. I'm still just 16, so I have to have a legal guardian. And with the whole fritzing thing, I can't really go and hang out at a nova club or something (not that they'd even let me in the doors at my age). And with the bad time with Utopia, I have to keep kinda low anyway; they got really aggressive with their recruitment, probably because they see the disruption power as a heck of an asset, and so we've tried to keep them from knowing my current address and stuff.Still, I hope that we can meet someday. Are you really as big as you look on the newscasts? Like 15 feet from beak to tail? Or is that a sensitive subject...or should I say from head to foot...or am I really making a hash of this? -- Thoughtwave Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wakinyan Posted September 3, 2005 Author Share Posted September 3, 2005 Wave, Amazing that you are working for a company at your age but that just goes to show you what an important assest you are. If you think you fit in though you might want to try to do something social with your free time. School might be a waste but even joining a swim team or something might give you some social attention you are lacking now. If you can pass for a human then there is no point of you not interacting with them. Unless you are overwhelmed by their thoughts then of course keeping them at a distance is best. As for my size, yeah I am a big boy. It's used to be really hard for me to move around in small buildings until recently when I figured out a way to smoosh myself bones and all to slide through narrow spaces (kinda like rats do I guess) I need to drop onto all fours a lot when going into human buildings since most are not tall enough for me. That really isn't a big deal I like walking on all fours at times. I still get sensitive about my size and form at times. Things that happen to me remind me and drive home the point that I can simply never do the things human or human like beings can do. I can't even use forks, spoons and knives. How could you expect me at a formal dinner when you see me across the table snagging morsels off my plate with my tongue? These are just the things I face everyday. Wakinyan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sandcaster Posted September 3, 2005 Share Posted September 3, 2005 ( dammit dammit dammit ) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ptesan-Wi Posted September 3, 2005 Share Posted September 3, 2005 Wakinyan,I'm sorry that I mentioned it, if you're sensitive about it. And yeah, I understand why it would bother most people -- they can't see who people really are inside.Hey, though, I've got a cool offer. My friend and I are going to go surveying in Montana this weekend! Do you want to come? We could use the help, since you can fly and see what things look like from the air, and I'd get to meet you! Wouldn't that be great?Let me know!!! -- Thoughtwave Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wakinyan Posted September 3, 2005 Author Share Posted September 3, 2005 Wave, I am not so sensitive about it when I am calm. It bothers me a lot more when other emotions are assualting me as well. As for meeting this weekend.. I just dunno. I am not sure if that would be a good idea. Been through a rough spot of late and injured myself to boot. You seem like great person and I don't want to do anything to compromise that. Here we talk and everything is find. Nothing gets in the way of that. Out in the real world though, I am just a different creature entirely. Wakinyan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ptesan-Wi Posted September 3, 2005 Share Posted September 3, 2005 Wakinyan,It's not like I'd be there alone; Iron Rose will be there, too. That's my friend who I keep talking about.Please come, unless you're too hurt. Please??? -- Thoughtwave Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wakinyan Posted September 3, 2005 Author Share Posted September 3, 2005 Wave,Send me the coordinates and I will see what I can do. I make NO promises though. If you do see me face to face maybe then you will grasp the scope of things. Still I just do not think this is a good idea. Wakinyan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ptesan-Wi Posted September 3, 2005 Share Posted September 3, 2005 Wakinyan,YAY!!!!We'll be at 113.12 West by 46.76 North by ten in the morning tomorrow.I can't wait to meet you!!!! -- Thoughwave Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wakinyan Posted September 3, 2005 Author Share Posted September 3, 2005 Wave, No promises! But thank you for the enthusiams. I haven't had that in a long time. Wakinyan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.