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[Fiction] Dreamer and her need


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The sun is shining down on her, ans she feels cold. She knew what she needed. She didn't want it. she felt dirty about it. she felt like a vampire. It disgusted her. how could she have let herself get so deeply hooked. Was it all her fault. What could she do. she wanted to make her cravings go away, but they wouldn't. She needed to get around people. she needed to feel them. She needed to live. How did this happen to her?

Looking up at the sun, she felt so alone. she was in her home, all alone. no one was going to come in today. she felt weak. She didn't think she could make it out of her house. It was so big. she was so far away from anyone. She hated the fact she lived so far away from the city. At the time it was a good idea. She didn't want to be bothered by anyone, now she just felt so alone. She wished she could get out of her chair. she was just sitting there. She felt as if she was waiting away. She could feel the need growing and her engery draining. Why did this have to happen to her. standing up was hard. When did getting up become a chore. When did moving take this much out of her. It was ridiculous. When did this all start anyways?

Finally standing up, she put one foot forward and then the other. She walked. It was taking way to much out of her to walk. She really wished that someone was here. She really wished it wasn't her birthday. She was to old. Sure she looked young, but she knew how old she was. She had seen too many birthdays and had swore that her birthdays were for her and only her. That was before she had the hunger.

She was still getting used to it. She didn't want to get used it. It felt as if she was simply letting rule her. She had never let other rule her. She was the ruler of her her own body. Nothing and none ever made her do what she didn't want to to do. At least she liked to think it was that way. Never give up the power you had. Never let other choose what you should do. Never let your desires control you. Be strong. But those were only ideas, and this hunger was so hard to fight. She justed needed to get close to someone. It didn't mater who. She just needed a fix. A small fix. Nothing more than a hit, but she was so alone. She could call someone to come over? She could call one of her friends. She could call a taxi. She laughed, once. A taxi in this city. That was a joke. No she would have to get out there on her own. Fuck this hunger.

She was naked. She didn't care. She was a nova, and she could do the fuck she wanted to. Besides she was going down into LA LA land, it wasn't as if she was going to the Vatican. She was going to her little happy place. Well one of them. Being rich was a wonderful thing. Then again, try being a poor nova. that was a task one had to work with. That was not saying that she was poor before she became a nova. She was wealthy long before she was a nova, but her wealth as nova had raised her sphere of power to another scale. She loved power. That was the worst part of this hunger. She had to give up her power to something she had no control over. She could not reason with it. She could do what it wanted, if she didn't do it. She would be punished. Still she had to give into her hunger.

Moving to the parking lot. She had a few cars, all them works of mechanical art. Nothing that would stand out in the extream. Art and beauty could be subtle, it didn't have to yell. The car she chose was one that she chose was like just about anything else she owned. If one had to ask for much it cost, one could not afford it. It was hand made, and built to fit her needs and wants. Some people thought the car was something from Germany. It had a the look of it being a BMW from the next year. Even if was four years old. It was just a car made for her. Not another car in the word was the same as it. Hell, half the parts in the car could only be replaced by part made just for this car. It was bothersome at time, but the performance more than made up for the problems. It felt as she was one with the car. She wasn't drive it, so much as riding it. She could stay on the road,and moved the car with the minimal of thought or effort. It was a true pleasure. At least when she wasn't this hungry.

The road was long, but that was the point of her house. She wanted to be alone. She wanted to be in control of her surroundings. No one was around there to watch her, or bother her. Her neighbors land was a good half mile away from her house. That was why she chose to mainly live her. It was a pain now, but only a small one. With her car, she could get into the city within an hour. Sure she would be speeding, but she wouldn't even bother trying to talk her way out the ticket. She would pay it off, and go on with her life. That is if she even got a ticket. Being rich had its perks besides the money. She just didn't like to flonet them without reason.

Getting into her car, she drove off. Her skin changed into something more suitable for the public, but not much. She looked as if she was wearing a eufiber suit. Something that was was completely normal for novas. It could be the fact that she looked like a pin up. People tended to treat those who looked good, as if they could do no wrong. It bothered on a purely idealogical level, but practically she didn't care. It was working for her.

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Problems like politics didn't really bother most people until they changed how one ate dinner. One could do talk about people dying in across the world, and not bat an eye. They most likely knew it happened. It was not there problem. They knew someone one else could take care of it. Just like Her and her speeding. She knew that people got in car crashes, but to her the speeds she was going was slow. She was a fucking nova. Going 80 in this car was nothing. It was like walking. Hell it was like breathing. It was just natural to her.

The traffic, was light for most of her drive. She knew what ways to take. What highways and how to get around the slow parts of the of traffic. People were so stupid. Thy thought the same way. Not using an empty shoulder lane, because of some fine. Hell the traffic laws were guide lines for her.

Such was life for a nova. Laws were jokes. She acted the way she wanted. To hell with the law. She didn't need a book to tell her what was right or wrong. She had a brain and mind of her own. Damned this hunger. What the fuck was wrong with her. Did she really have to put with shit. Oh with in the car, having the drive around helped a bit. That would have to do for now. She didn't need to deal full hunger anymore than she had to. She was damned.

Pulling into her private parking spot. The spot was basicily always open. She rarely came here. She tended to be else were. It wasn't that she did not like it. It was more that she was almost always out of town or busy with other things. This cafe was relatively unknown. It was odd to have a private parking spot. But she was odd.

Walking into the open doors. She smiled, there weren't many people, but it felt good to be around those who having a good time. There weren't many people in the room. That didn't really mater. Emtion was in the air. She embraced them. The fake drama. The lusting 20 something year old. The jealously coming from the the lovers who saw their bed fellows looking at her as she walked in. She felt them in her. She knew they would do just fine.

She extended herself to feel them on the inside. To feel their need and wants in ways they couldn't understand themselves. She felt the boy who was gay, bu was told that men fucked women, and fags would go to hell. Oh what a pity, he was a real looker, but the real shame was the girl he was dating. She at least thought she was in love with him. That break up would leave both in tears. The girl who thought she was a lesbian and her abuser. Such was the life down in L.A. Such was the life in this hell. No one really knew what hey wanted to be. No one help other people without a catch. No one just lent a hand. They wanted your money. Your Soul. They needed to feel better about themselves. She wasn't any better. But still she loved thinking of the negative traits of charity.

She moved to the stage. Well at least what past for a stage in the place. It had two steps up to it from the floor and a stool. One some night there was mic, but now there was nothing but the stool. An old metal stool, that was chromed to the point of of be a mirror. The top was covered in white leather, that could teach snow a thing of two about being pure.

“We should never forget who we are. We should never try to be what we aren't. We aren't flawless. We shouldn't try to be. We are not without blame. We shouldn't run away from what we did. We are what are. That should be good enough for us. We have flaws, but flaws are what makes us who we are. We make mistakes, and would never learn half of what we need to know if we never made them.”

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What words she sad didn't mater. She could have been reading a phone book. She was a nova. Her voice was all she needed. Semi-poetic drival was more than enough to please the crowds.

She smiled, as she felt the people reacting. It was giving her what she wanted. It was giving her more than she need, but not enough for her wants. She feed into the power. She wanted more. Puckering her lips, blew a kiss into the crowd. At the same time adding red to those lush lips. She didn't need to, but there was something about blood red lips that drove people crazy. The sight of a woman blowing a kiss into the crowd, drove the emotions like a spike. She winked to a table with two couples. This was not right, but it was so fun. Jealousy and lust filled the room. She didn't even have to move from her chair or say a word. She was a nova after all.

She wanted more. She could get more form these people. She could do more here. Would it be so wrong? It could ruin a few lives, like that was anything new. Novas did that all the time. She Just wanted more .She was a junkie, and needed more. Besides if she could so easily destroy the relationship,was it meant to last? Could they sue her? Sure, would they last in court with her lawyers, not a chance. With a tone that could stir the dead she spoke in a half whisper that carried across the room, over everything else. It was a whisper from a lover in each person's ear. It was soothing and set the blood on fire at the same time. It was no voice of a human. It was heaven on earth.

“Ho can I love you,if you won't love me?How can I love you if you won't look into my eyes?How can i love you,if you won't swear only to be mine? How can you say you love me, if you still are in love with someone else?”

Jealous and lust. Hate, and love. This was what she was looking for. She had enough. She could take more, but she didn't really even want more. She saw the people getting up, and walking towards her,she walked out the back. The peopled followed. She didn't care. She didn't care about how they felt anymore. She never really did, she only cared that they felt. The rest was up to them. The rest of their lives was up to them. She got into her car, and drove off. She didn't slow down to let them catch up to her. She was on her way to relax.

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