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[Fiction] My Last Will And Testement

Vile Bill

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Transcript from the Video of Vile Bill's Last Will and Testement

'Kay motherfuckers, Vile Bill here, coming atcha for the last time.

Oops, lawyers say I gotta call myself by my 'legal name', dipshit.

Okay, William Francis Peterson here and fuck every single one of you who laughs. You wouldn't do it if I was alive.

Shit, I feel like that ol Yul Brynner commercial.

I'm Vile Bill and I'm dead now.

Naw, wasn't no fucking cancer, probably I finally figured out how much was 'too much' coke or someone got the drop on my ass.


Well, okay, I'm dead now. Y'all are just here for the booze and to know who got the money. I update this bastard every month, so unless NoChance cheated my ass at the tables right before an Op this should be good.

'Kay, who get's mah shit.

The Harleys; All the Harleys go to the LA chapter of the Iron Cowboys, ride one bros. Y'all can fight over who gets which.

The Furniture; Ummm, Madame Slinky's in Bangkok has got dibs on the furniture.

The Art; The Picassos, the Van Goghs and the Lichtenstein's all go to Count Orzaiz, thanks for clueing me in on that shit bro, they was pretty.

The guns; Doc Troll, you get the BFG. Enjoy stud.

I leave all of my porn and a million bucks to Preston's kid. With a dad like that he need em.

Now for the good shit, the money.

Endeavor sweetie, if your still broke you get three million. Hope it helps. Have fun and stay loose sweetheart. Hope ya get a kill on yer first op.

Ashnod honey, I don't know if you give two shakes about cash, but I gotta give ya something. You get ten million and a little goodie I 'found' on a 'recovery mission'. It was extra and Rachel says you might think it was cool.

Apep. Sorry if we never got a chance to get together. I hate the idea of dying missing out on that. You get ten mill too. I got no idea if you care either. Hell, show up on Wall Street and pelt the suits with flaming stacks of cash for all I care about it now. Oh yeah, I finished knitting you a sweater, hope it fits right.

NoChance; You and that sweet thing are gonna have a kid someday and your gamblin ass will probably end up broke at the wrong time. So, for your kid, whenever that happens, that poor little bastard gets ten mill too. Oh, ten for Jilly too, she should get a little something out of having to be disapointed every night.

Uhm, I think there's still something like fifty mill left. I got a list of, uhm, ladyfriends for the lawyer. They get to split it equal like. Hey, a hundred grand aint bad.

Peace out y'all.

Oh shit, I forgot about the money Anna locked up for me. That should be about another fifty mill now. Hey, how about this. Fifty million on the head of whoever capped my ass. Teach them a fuckin lesson.

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