[Fiction] Too God

[Sandy Davis]

A lone ball of light in the clod void of space. But was it a void at all? To most people space would be called a void,. Cold and dead. No not dead, as in order for something to be dead, something must have lived before. In space it was life less, to most. No life, not animals, no plants, nothing what most people could call living.

In fact in space most people there that there was vast places where there was nothing. No mass, no mater, no engery. Nothing at all. But that was wrong. This lone beam of light knew that. It knew that no mater where you were, you were touch something. As such something was touching you. It did not matter where you went, there was no nota single spot this bema of light went to that had nothing in it. It is just the scale that changes. Nothing else.

As life in space, there was life in space, there was engery, there was mass, there was time, and there was change. In space there many levels of life. Some of them were floating on balls of rock, with bodies, and needs. Others were just there. This beam of light started on a rock floating around a ball of gas, that was eating it's self to stay alive. In the end all life it's self, or other life. This beam of light knew this, more than anything else. That death was part of life, just as birth was. No need for sorrow when death comes, for in death life has meaning.

In the finite parts of life, things are forced to do something or be pushed aside by something else. TO change, to grow, to improve it's own goals.Maybe those goals would impve other's goals.But even when that hapens, it is more of a side afect than the goal. This was the truth to this beam of light. This splater of photons.

Then again the meaning of life,and what life was,was not the meaning this beam was looking for. At least not here, or now. It was going home.Home, to a place of God.THe maker of life,at least the life in this part of the universe.

True this God was one of many things like it.In fat there were countlessthings like this one.But this one gave life to the ball of rock that acted like a satolite around it.That little ball of dirt was small,and frigaile, but in the same time,live threw things that the beam of light could only dream of.

The beam of light,cluster of atoms knew where it was head.It was moving faster and fastter,Going the same rate but still building up speed. IT went threw the cold,depths of space.Right towards the giver of life.

The beam hit into GOd.Dove into it's life force.God did not even twict.It was God after all it was nothing compared to the size of God.The force it was a drop of water in sea.It changed the whole body, but not in a level that would ever turely mater.DId god even notice this? The beam did not think so.

To some that many be proof that it was not God. After all wasn''t God meant to know everything? And wasn't there only one God?Well this beam of light knew better.After all God, gave life to the things that could look upon it in wounder.It made life in it's warm embresse. God, gave everythign that life needed to live. SO why wouldn't it be GOd?It made life after all.

the beam of light safe and warm in the tender embrase of God.the engery flowed around the small cluster of energy.It was in a cradle.a safe place.One with no worries.Nothin would fallow it here.Noproblems at all could bother it here.It was just in asafe place.A warm comforting place.

In ththis warm place, the light relaxed.Let time go by.It take here to think.but to try as the light tried, thought were slip threw it's mind.It was not frustrating,but useless.It could not think when in heaven.It did not need to think.IT was in heaven, after all.A world with no flaws, a world with no needs.Where all was given freelly,and nothing was ever taken.

[Sandy Davis]

In time all things change. In time, everything will move. Nothing will stay still or stay the same. All things we break down. All things will reform. The new things do not always remember that they were other things, or even that there are other things. Theses things my be reactions of outside forces, or maybe their reactions to an inner need that defies all logic, and wisdom. At least all internal wisdom, and reason.

This beam of light thought. Or knew that. It was not sure. It did not know. It did not want to know. It was content with the place of heaven it was in. IT did not need to worry about petty things like logic, reason, or even knowledge. None of that matter. Or did it? It was odd truing to track time in a place with no point of reference. No internal needs or external change. But there was passing of time. At least that is what this beam of light thought.

And when time somehow became an issue, so did thinking, and thoughts, words and meanings. Did the words come before the thought, or did the thoughts form from the words? Did it really matter? Would it change anything if the order they claim changed? Would she really care?

The idea that this beam of light had a gender struck upon it's self awareness. It was strange. It started to remember being something that would need a gender, but those memories felt like copies or of one else's memories. Not her own. Nothing like her own. They felt like a dream. One it had. Not anything it had. One where she was looking into space and seeing one image. One form. One mind, one need.

She, struggled, and grasp the idea that she was not a beam of light. No matter how pure this form was, it was not truly her form. She could have changed any into anything but the idea of changing into something that she was not was not something she even dared think too long about. So if she did that, it would have made all the struggles she had in the past meaningless, all the lives, and deaths pontless.TO change in a stage of life with no history and to be an action, not merely a reaction. That was wrong to her. It felt some how tainted. It felt to her as if she would take her soul form her own chest, and lay it on the way side. To take what made her worth anything and throwing it away. She could, gain the world, but she would loose herself.

She forced herself into the form she knew was her own. She forces all the outside poison from her. All the thick oil that covered her and kept her one step away from the world around her. The thick vile drove her into herself. The spikes of rages that drove her over the edge to easily, and yet held her power back. She was no going to have any limits. She would not suffer threw limits, not now or later. She was going to change the rules. She was breaking the laws of man. No longer just bending them. She will do things that no one could denied, no one could quench.

She did not do this for power. She in the end saw power as means, and not an ends. With gain power one could change things.Or keep things the same,witch in an odd way was changing things. Without power one can do nothing. With power one could change the world, but in the end it took the most power to change what was on the inside.

The things around you that are made from matter could be shaped more than those made from beliefs.To break down a wall of stone was nothing compared to breaking down one of will.The tools to change the rock could be bought,from a store,and used by anyone.No to forge an idea,and more importantly a self was something that too great power,skill,and tact.To push something to hard,and you would destroy the thing you wish to make.Pust something to soft,and nothing happens.The worst thing was if you did something wrong, it could make things harder to change when it was later.