[Fiction] To kiss God(Sandy is going awy for a wile)

[Sandy Davis]

Now, if your are getting this package, it is to late for any of you do anything to stop or save me. I am set on my path. Why am I giving you this, well for each person who is getting it is different, and I may tell you later.

So, let me first tell you the point of this letter, I betrayed someone close to me. Someone that no matter what I do, will never be able to forgive me. I betrayed them for, a loved one, a stranger, a friend, a lost child and my maker. What I did, was for good reason, and I would do it again if I had the chance.

Yes, some of you are saying, but why me? You all are important to me. Also you all have shown some insight to what it means to live. Not just breathing and eating, but to live. So, please read this.

As I started out, you can't stop me, and I am already gone. I have gone to kiss God. I know where God is, at least for me. I am sorry but I can't show you God, as you wouldn't know it unless you were me.

I am no longer human, I am no longer nova. I am something else. I am becoming something new. Something more pure? I would like to think so, but I can't say that. But you never know, I may become a seraph before I am done. Just maybe.

Some short words for some of you and I will let my seance speak for the rest.

Young, Endeavor, I see that you have a twinkle in your eye. One thing I wish I had, for I do not recall ever having one. You see the world in a light that makes me envy you in so many ways. You truly have a a tap on a power far greater than I have, and these rough time you are having will pass.

Jager, I see you as someone who lost his path sometime ago, but never realized it. You are a good man, a great person, but you seem to be lost. Please just relax, and stop looking outside for what you lost inside. no matter how far you travel, that hole inside you will only go away when you look inside yourself.

Apep,I would like to see you sometime. Nothing big, just to talk, you could bring just about anyone you want. I would prefer it not to be your mother but, if you only feel safe with her around, then so be it.

Ashnod,I would like to see you sometime. I would like to talk of your religion. If you feel the need to bring someone for safety, you may. I would prefer it not be your daughter, but if you must, it could be her. If you haven't guessed it, I want to meat both of you. I just would prefer to meat you one at a time.

Jordan, if you knew what I did for you, you most likely have told me not to do. But I did, and you will have a few less problems. I am not saying your problems will go away, but I did my best to help you.

James, I think you are a strange little man. Half the time I want to kick you in the head, the other times I want to talk to you over coffee. I think you are smart, just relax, calm down. The sun will be there if for a long time.

Doc, I have a gift for you when I get back, one that looks good in red, with leather.

Strike, you got the Job.

And back to the rest of the letter. It really has been a long time for me as nova. It seems like a life time ago that I was in that church. But here I am now and I can tell you one thing, I no longer am human. I can pin point the hour I started to loose touch with being human, in 2007 may, 24, four am. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat and my skin was feeling numb. I tried to cut my wrists, but the glass went dull on my skin. It didn't even hurt. I did not really even feel it. I mean I felt it, but it felt as it were a dream, and not real.

Over the years, this feeling came over, more and more. Now I can't cal myself human anymore. I can't call myself a nova either, as I said I think I am something new. Maybe something old.

In case that you didn't notice the bright spot on the Moon, that was me. I am as I said heading for God. In any case I will be gone for sometime and will leave with these words.Life is it;s own meaning, and to best define it is to live it..

(Now,this is something if for me.SO I am going to try to tread lightly. I am assuming that Sandy has enough resources to track down an adress of some sort out for most people here.If you wish to have you chartacer not get this, then by all means they do ot have to get this. It is sent to everyone she talked to on thsi board, aand just about everyone who has been on this board for over a month or so. Again if you do not want to get this, you do nto have to..I do not want to force this on anyone, but I would like as many people to get that she would send it to.PS she left monday)