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Dear Abbie,

I have a serious problem. I have erupted just a week ago and my life is a living hell. My problem is that I have evolutive powers. I mean when I face a problem my body starts to develop new systems and powers to come up with a solution. Once the problem is gone the new abilities fade but it sure freaks the hell out of everyone.

Just yesterday when I was trying to get an apple from the top of the cupboard, I grew two extra sets of tentacles, one foot taller and telekinesis. The doc is out of the question. Last time I went I developed diamond hard body armor and eel like touch. Even when they tried magnetic resonance I became a silicon based life form and formed a protective cocoon. I can't eat a thing since my body has decided it is better to feed on light, electricity, magnetic fields and Quanta.

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Dear NNNY,

Conventional medicine is unlikely to help you. You need to learn either how to control your powers, or how to turn off your node. The latter technique is called "dorming".

I suggest you check into a Utopian clinic.

- Abby

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