opnet [OpNet] Psi-clone

[Guest]

Dear Abbie,

I'm a scientist who recently erupted during a lab accident. Now I have the standard psychic abilities of PK and telepathy. The problem is that I want to continue my research in the field of human potential in spite of my new powers and possible riches. There are a number of problems with this (including developing my powers so I directly aid my research), but the one I'm having the most trouble with is the FANS! Ever since becoming a Nova, all my coworkers have started following me around, and several old friends have dropped in suddenly from out of state. Even my in-laws, who always hated me, are suddenly dropping by. Timmy in the mail room has a T-shirt press, and has started printing shirts reading "Psi-clone, He's all in your mind", and is selling them for twenty dollars a pop. I mean, it's good to be popular, but I'd rather just be well liked. Anyway, it's putting a serious cramp in my research and social life. Help me, Abbie, the stress is killing me!

- Psi-clone

[Abbie]

Dear Psi-clone,

First off, let me issue you the same admonition that I give to so many others: just because you're a nova doesn't mean that you have to have a "nova name." You may be the elite of your lab, but if you are actually asking your coworkers to refer to you by a nova name, it may be a sign of certain... other problems. Without getting into that, though, making sure people call you by your name is one way you can force them to relate to you as a human, not as a nova. If you're "Bob," not "Psi-clone, reader of thoughts and defender of lab safety," people will be more inclined to see you as someone they can talk to like anyone else. Besides, given the statistics about how often people think about sex and the variety of their sexual fantasies, "dropping in" for a quick peek at others' thoughts could be disturbing. Do you really want to know your boss' fantasies about the Flying Donut Position? Oh, and if your coworkers believe that you won't read their minds, you'll also establish trust, often difficult for telepaths. Just play it cool, stay low-key, and try not to make a fuss out of yourself. You're newly erupted; your associates are bound to think that's kind of neat. Eventually, when they discover that you're still just the same old Bob, though, they'll start treating you as such. Lay off the telepathy with all but your closest friends, and keep the psychokinesis to a minimum. If you really want people to forget you're a nova, you can make that happen. Alternatively, you just might be able to force them to get over their worship of novas by being just a normal, down-to-earth guy who happens to pick up the beaker from across the room. This is a bit trickier, though, and requires a lot of patience on your part. Treat them like equals, and act as if your nova abilities were perfectly normal, and they might go along with it. They might not, though, and you sound like you're at the end of your rope already, so this may be too drastic a step. It can always be introduced later, once they've gotten over the initial hype. Just be yourself, not your nova self. That's the person people remember, and if having nova powers doesn't change who you are, people will see that, and respond in kind. Novas are humans, and you may wind up doing your associates a service by reminding them of that.