opnet [OpNet] More powerful than a locomotive

[Guest]

Dear Abbie,

I have an interesting difficulty. Recently, I erupted, and developed a rather...nostalgic...set of abilities. I am super strong, resistant to injury, my reflexes are much faster, I can see through walls, fly, project intense heat from my eyes...you know the drill. I was involved in a brawl between a recently erupted Nova and a police SWAT squad when my eruption occurred. Here's my problem; a photograph of me during my eruption (I was wearing a blue T-Shirt with a red and yellow pentagonal symbol from my favorite comic book) has led AOL/Warner to sue me for copyright infringement. I've agreed to not wear the shirt anymore, but they maintain that my powers are under their copyright as well. Do they have a case?

- More powerful than a locomotive

[Abbie]

Dear Locomotive,

I think you may find that lawyers will leap tall buildings in a single bound in order to have the chance to go to court for AOL/Warner. Sure, they have every right to sue you, and with the kind of resources they can bring to bear, they'll probably make some kind of case. However, the simple fact is this: no nova is in control of his or her eruption. Even in those cases where individuals have set about trying to induce an eruption and been successful, it frequently takes them multiple attempts. If they could control it, wouldn't it happen the first time? Applying that logic to your case, you were not in control of your eruption, and had no idea that you might be wearing an outfit that would suddenly suggest copyright infringement. The "reasonable person" standard dictates that people are expected to conduct themselves as would any reasonable person, and you had no reasonable expectation of erupting. (Though why you were "involved" in this brawl while visibly wearing a comic book-inspired t-shirt is a little beyond me. Are SWAT teams changing their uniform codes, or do you routinely jump into the middle of police battles faster than a speeding bullet?) Also note that I used the word "suggest" when talking about your actions and potential copyright infringement. Just because you're a nova, you're not allowed to wear certain items of apparel? We do have something called the Fourteenth Amendment, which has a little clause called the Equal Protection Clause, which says that you can't draw arbitrary lines between groups of people, much less one person and the rest of the world. You never claimed to be a particularly Super man, I presume, and the fact that fate stuck you with a certain set of nova powers doesn't mean that your rights are in any way diminished. If you had suffered an injury, instead, and perhaps lost an arm, there would be no problem with you wearing that t-shirt. The fact that an equally random chance gifted you with the ability to champion Truth, Justice, and the American Way doesn't put you in violation of anyone's copyright. If AOL/Warner has a right to sue anyone, it would be Mother Nature... and I'd like to see that one in court.