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[OpNet] Wedding Bells


Vixen

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I have an announcement to make.

As Doctor Roxanne Richardson, as the Vixen, and most importantly as a woman truely, madly, deeply in love - I'm pleased to announced that my boyfriend Mitch Lang has proposed to me, and I've accepted, and we'll be getting married in early 2016, as soon as we've made all the arrangements.

Calling me the happiest woman on Earth hardly does it justice.

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Tommy Shinto was something we were looking into, though we were concerned that seeing as how I resemble a kami spirit, it might cross the line from 'touching' to 'camp.' But thanks for recommending it.

Doctor Troll - if you're talking about a registry, we went with an OpNet-based database since I have pals all over the world. Check out entry 8500 on WithBellsOn.op. Please note: we already have a blender.

Samhra - we can't wait to hear it. If you wanted to actually perform it at the ceremony, you have our blessings - though we haven't picked a day or venue yet since we just moved and we're drowning in boxes.

We'll keep everyone posted. Thanks for the kind words, all.

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Quote:
Originally posted by Hugin:
She's marrying a baseline and you all are encouraging her?

Unfortunate.
Indeed. I am most curious myself as to why a Nova would tie themselves to a baseline. Dr. Vixen, could you please offer me some insight? I am particularly bewildered how you could enter into a relationship of equals when there can be no parity - on a mental, physical or emotional level - between yourself and a baseline.

Please understand, I mean no offense, but I do not understand how you can care enough for a baseline to marry one. Was this a relationship that preceeded your eruption?
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Quote:
Originally posted by Singularity:
Love is love; this is something to be celebrated and not analyzed. wink
Great. Have you managed to convince any of the fathers about to give away their daughters of that theory?

eek

Having said that...
Quote:
Originally posted by Clark:
Quote:
Originally posted by Hugin:
She's marrying a baseline and you all are encouraging her?

Unfortunate.
Indeed. I am most curious myself as to why a Nova would tie themselves to a baseline.
You're both happy go lucky sorts. You should be aware there are quite a few worthwhile people out there who are also baselines. I'm already convinced the nature of some quantum eruptions make life among the masses too complicated for some novas, I've done four columns on related issues, so you don't need to convince me of that. However, there are quite a few novas that don't have those sorts of problems. Or who find the positives offset the negatives.

Apparently you two are not in that group but Vixen is. More power to her and the lucky stiff. We should all be so fortunate.
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Quote:
Originally posted by Singularity:
As crazy as a father I'm sure I'd be, such feelings don't change the truth of the matter. wink
Take it from a writer: truth is a relative thing and hardly ever spelled with a capital "T". There are facts and there is what people believe. The two rarely coincide but overlaps do get messy.
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Quote:
Originally posted by Samhra:
Hugin and Clark, I understand your concerns about Vixen marrying a baseline, but it boils down to it's her choice. From what I've learnt, isn't that what being a nova is all about?

You see it as limiting. I see it as exploring her capacity to love.
No, please see my comment again. She is doing something foolish and hurtful (so I believe), but I have not said that she should not. I have not spoken against her.

What I spoke against was the support that she is receiving. I am seeing someone engage in a futile and painful journey surrounded by well-wishers encouraging her upcoming misery. I am disappointed in that.
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Way to go V! Congratulations!

,,
Quote:
Originally posted by Hugin:

I am seeing someone engage in a futile and painful journey surrounded by well-wishers encouraging her upcoming misery. I am disappointed in that.

Now that sounds like a refreshingly pessimistic way to look at life, marriage and birthdays but I don't quite see how it applies only to nova-baseline relationships.

I may be totally off base here, but it seems like any Nova-Baseline pair has roughly the same chance of being a good match as any pair of Novas. Figure 'a good match' means they can understand each other's sentences and can dance a no-holds-barred tango without either party sustaining major injuries. As long as the practical criteria are met I don't see the problem. And a marriage where they aren't met would be a great premise for a sit-com!

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Quote:
Originally posted by Samhra:
Hugin and Clark, I understand your concerns about Vixen marrying a baseline, but it boils down to it's her choice. From what I've learnt, isn't that what being a nova is all about?

You see it as limiting. I see it as exploring her capacity to love.
I see it as dangerous, to her and to it. I am curious about what brought her to that decision as well. I consider it akin to marrying a baboon, but if it is what she wants, then she should carry through. I was merely inquiring about her state of mind and personal feelings on the issue.

Dr. Vixen, as I have said, I bear you no ill will, nor do I wish ill on your future martials. I just wish to understand why you are yoking yourself unequally. I intend no harm.
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Quote:
Originally posted by Hugin:
What I spoke against was the support that she is receiving.
I'll tell you what; I'll be very honest with you here. R. Richardson (aka Vixen) is seemingly very happy and about to take a step of committment in her life while I haven't found anyone that I'd being willing to do that with. I'm all for it working out mostly because I want to believe it could work out for me. Someday. In the future. So yes I am offering my congratulations on her upcoming wedding. Its what you do when someone announces a decision they've already made, you have no chance of changing their mind, and no idea whether you should even if you could.
Quote:
Originally posted by Bic:
I may be totally off base here, but it seems like any Nova-Baseline pair has roughly the same chance of being a good match as any pair of Novas.
The probabilities are actually better between nova/baseline than with nova/nova. If only because there are a lot more baselines to choose from than novas.
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Quote:
Originally posted by Clark:
I intend no harm.
None of my business but in the interests of causing no harm you might want to rethink the use of the word "it" when referring to her fiancé. It's understandable you might see him in terms of an "it", but you are trying to talk with the Vixen and she obviously sees him in more personable terms.
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Quote:
Originally posted by Vixen:
Tommy Shinto was something we were looking into, though we were concerned that seeing as how I resemble a kami spirit, it might cross the line from 'touching' to 'camp.' But thanks for recommending it.
I'm sorry! I missed this post earlier.

I understood you could shift between human and vulpine (fox) forms. If that's the case, and you were planning on being married in a non-furry form, I wouldn't think this would be a problem. Not that I'm an expert in Shinto or other religions. I can check with the local Shinto priest if you want.
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Quote:
Originally posted by Tommy Micro:
None of my business but in the interests of causing no harm you might want to rethink the use of the word "it" when referring to her fiancé. It's understandable you might see him in terms of an "it", but you are trying to talk with the Vixen and she obviously sees him in more personable terms.
Of course - you are correct Mr. Micro. Dr. Vixen, my apologies - using the term "it" was no doubt insulting. I had no intention to insult, merely to question, and I was not as careful in my word choice as I should have been.
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Congratulations, Dr. Richardson. Keep us posted as to the time and place, please.

Ms. Clark, a nova colleague is married to a human cousin of mine, thus making him family now. Their marriage is a very happy experience and they are expecting a child early next year. She will be raised by a large, loving family of humans and novas combined.

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I will bring this matter up to him. By the way, I prefer the term Human over that of Baseline, if you do not mind.

I have a few questions:

Were you raised by nova parents, by a nova-human parental unit, by only one nova parent, or by human parents?

Could I talk to the people who raised you at some time?

How old are you?

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Quote:
Originally posted by Preston:
I will bring this matter up to him. By the way, I prefer the term Human over that of Baseline, if you do not mind.
Really? I prefer the term 'monkey'. Or 'chimp'. How about them apples?


heheheeheh.

Just kidding man, but seriously, when did baseline become insulting? All it means is person who ain't a nova.
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Quote:
Originally posted by Preston:
I have a few questions:
Were you raised by nova parents, by a nova-human parental unit, by only one nova parent, or by human parents?
Could I talk to the people who raised you at some time?
How old are you?
My parents did not raise me. I was fostered by various Novas to maximize my exposure to alternate worldviews. I could arrange for you to talk to many, but not all, of them. Huxuo, the native Chilean Nova, certainly - I still remain in contact with him. If they will speak to you, that is. I will at least approach them, if you will meet them on neutral ground.

I am fifteen years old. I fail to see what bearing that has on my inquiries?
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Somehow, I knew that a discussion on nova/baseline relationships would spring up while I was away. Look - I realize a lot of you have loved and lost and that's a painful thing to carry around, but please do understand where I'm coming from here.

I've known Mitch for several years now, since before my eruption - but back then we were just friends, and it was only after my eruption shook everything up that we started getting close. Has everything between me, Mitch, my family and my friends been peachy-keen since my eruption? No. There have been strains, but you know what? There always have been, and always will be, strains. That's life.

If you've gotten through life without a misplaced feeling, a misspoken word, or a single time you had trouble getting along with someone, then I am sad to report you don't exist. Don't take it too hard.

Anything can strain a relationship. Anything at all. Money, fame, peer pressure, stress at work, mental illness, physical illness, annoying habits - anything. An eruption certainly can qualify since it can bring any or all of those into the picture, but just because it can doesn't mean it always does. That statistic about divorce was around long before novas were. Relationships fall apart not because one person's a nova and the other's a baseline, relationships fall apart because both people are people - flawed, opinionated people. To make a relationship work, you have to put some effort into it, and you have to accept both your mistakes and theirs, because there's no manual - there's no magic formula. You have to give and take, except when you have to stand your ground. You have to forgive, except when you shouldn't. You have to accept who they are except for when you have to encourage them to grow. If I had the magic formula for making every relationship work I'd be on the talk show circuit instead of modeling the recovery ratio of Amazon rainforests.

I know there's a good chance I could outlive Mitch, but you know what? There's also a good chance he could outlive me, and there's very little chance of us both dying simultaneously. In fact, it was realizing this truth that moved him to propose - because even for a nova, life's too short. If a relationship's not going to last forever, does that make it less precious, or more precious? Isn't it the bonds in life we make that we know are going to be broken, that are the most important – because one day they will be gone?

We're two people who found each other and nearly lost each other, and that's made us want to hold on that much more. I've been a nova for three years, I've been dating him for two, and living with him for several months, and now I'm ready to say that I want to spend the future, as far as the eye can see, with him by my side. I know there will be good days and bad days and that my decision will be derided by others - I'm glad that Hugin and the Church of Michael Archangel finally found something they can agree on - but I'm not afraid of what's ahead. I might not be ready for it, but I'm not afraid.

Now, for specific inquiry:

,,
Quote:
Originally posted by Clark:

Of course - you are correct Mr. Micro. Dr. Vixen, my apologies - using the term "it" was no doubt insulting. I had no intention to insult, merely to question, and I was not as careful in my word choice as I should have been.

I told Mitch about this. He just laughed and said something about how it was flattering having a redhead treat him like an object. I think you're in the clear. Him, by contrast...,,
Quote:
Originally posted by Jager:

Vixen congrats. It's about time he broke down and made an honest woman of you.

Thanks, Jager - I think he asked at the right time. Earlier I might have said no.,,
Quote:
Originally posted by Smurf Daddy:

Congratulations!

Do you need entertainment for the reception? I know some people who can hook you up with the best entertainment and bands that money can't buy.

Is anyone invited? I love a good wedding (and especially the reception).

Not just anybody, I'm afraid. But I don't think we'll be getting married at the Shag Shack or any small dipshit chapel, so there'll be lots of room.

Entertainment, hmm? I do want a live band for this one. There's something prestigious about a live band as opposed to a jukebox.

,,
Quote:
Originally posted by Preston:

Congratulations, Dr. Richardson. Keep us posted as to the time and place, please.

Ms. Clark, a nova colleague is married to a human cousin of mine, thus making him family now. Their marriage is a very happy experience and they are expecting a child early next year. She will be raised by a large, loving family of humans and novas combined.

Unfortunately, it doesn't look like there'll be little ones on the way. My internal organs suffered a lot of damage when I was paralyzed, and while my eruption fixed most of that, I obviously don't have quite the same body as I did before - there would still be complications from pregnancies, even if I stayed dormed or undormed for the whole nine months. There's very little chance of me being able to carry a baby to term. I'd made my peace with it a long time ago, though, so I'm not really upset.

Mitch is a bit more torn. I think he likes the idea of things the way they are, but he also wants kids. We talk about this stuff a lot, though. We'll work something out.

,,
Quote:
Originally posted by Lemmy Chillmeister:

Just kidding man, but seriously, when did baseline become insulting? All it means is person who ain't a nova.

I think Mister Preston is of the belief that baselines are humans and novas are not, and that the language should be changed to suit that.

I don't really agree with him, but that's another discussion entirely.

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