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The Hobbit


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***SPOILERS****

,, ,,

I won't be so eloquent, but I fucking hated the movie.

,,

It was boring, it was drawn out, they needlessly changed things. My only hope is that when I rewatch it being able to go straight to the third it will make more sense.

,,

It is blatantly obvious this movie has suffered the most in the change from two to three movies that was done in production. The only thing that god awful barrel ride scene needed was Benny Hill music.

,,

The whole fracking last act where the dwarves play hide n seek with Smaug and troll him was pathetic.

,,

"Derpderpaderp, let me just hop in this metal container and ride down a channel of molten gold, the heat won't bother me at all. derpderpaderp."

,,

It was just plain goddamn cringeworthy.

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***SPOILERS****

,, ,,

I won't be so eloquent, but I fucking hated the movie.

,,

It was boring, it was drawn out, they needlessly changed things. My only hope is that when I rewatch it being able to go straight to the third it will make more sense.

,,

It is blatantly obvious this movie has suffered the most in the change from two to three movies that was done in production. The only thing that god awful barrel ride scene needed was Benny Hill music.

,,

The whole fracking last act where the dwarves play hide n seek with Smaug and troll him was pathetic.

,,

"Derpderpaderp, let me just hop in this metal container and ride down a channel of molten gold, the heat won't bother me at all. derpderpaderp."

,,

It was just plain goddamn cringeworthy.

Pretty much my feelings as well.

,,

This is Smaug. The conqueror of Erebor. The nightmare of Dale.

,,

The flying, fiery death that ended hundreds of lives and brought a nation to ruin.

,,

And it spends an hour playing "neener-neener fah-fah" with 9 dwarves and a hobbit, unsuccessfully killing or wounding a single one.

,,

The whole "ride a wheelbarrow down a channel of molten gold" was appallingly bad, as was the dwarves and hobbit somehow managing not to get toasted by standing behind the narrow columns of the archways leading to the smelting area.

,,

Not to mention that the great hall where Smaug is covered in molten gold near the end of the film is the exact same floor Bilbo is standing on, and it never shows us how he got out of the way or avoided the cascade of liquid death that was deep enough that it SUBMERGED THE DRAGON. One second he's on the floor, the next he's crawling on some rocks outside the hall after Smaug has already left himself and flown off to wreck Laketown.

,,

I'm all for additional content. I don't even mind the canon-breaking love triangle. Bard is suddenly a political revolutionary...um okay. I'll deal with it.

,,

But its the third act inside Erebor that ruined it for me.

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