Gerald Haney Posted July 2, 2005 Share Posted July 2, 2005 to anyone who gives a hoot.I'm taking a leave of absence from Project Utopia for awhile.The whole Amp Room thing has kinda messed up my life. See, I was there, for about a minute. Just long enough to see it get ugly really quick. Then, well, something happened and I wasn't there anymore.So, by the next morning I'm out one of my favorite jobs in the world and it's not coming back and my other favorite job is all of a sudden changed. I'm not supposed to be helping the science guys anymore but I'm supposed to be helping move stuff, equipment, refugees and all. So, after a couple weeks of burning myself out a few times a day and collapsing into bed feeling more worn out than I ever have I decided to take a break.I guess I'm not the 'do it for the better tomorrow' guy I thought I was. I can't imagine how some novas do that every day and have been for years. I guess I'm just not that tough.But, I have no clue what I'm gonna do.Can't go back to Ibiza. Haven't been able to reach Tarot or Willy since the riot and I don't even know if they're still alive.I'm actually kind of depressed. I knew a lot of those folks. They were pretty cool people. And some went nuts and some died and it's tough to figure out.Just thought I'd mention it. Meh, it's my own fault. Post this late at night and of course I sound mopey. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Timeslip Posted July 2, 2005 Share Posted July 2, 2005 When the day comes that you do figure out exactly why everything at Ibiza happened as it did, let us know...'cause you'll be the first to do so. It was an unmitigated clusterfuck, all ways around, and the only winner what whoever was trying out that goddamned kinetic cannon (and for all we know, not even him/her).In any event, enjoy your leave from PU; here's hoping you enjoy it enough to make it permanent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gerald Haney Posted July 2, 2005 Author Share Posted July 2, 2005 I know it sounds stupid coming from a guy who counts rocks on the moon and listens to radio stations and bee's talk to each other but the fact is I missed it. It was business as usual and business as usual meant me listening to everyone at the bar, at once, and making sure they got their drinks while keeping up with six different conversations and also checkig out every attention whore who thought pasties and butt-floss are subtle. So, I missed whatever it was that started it off. I'm good, but I'm not omniscient.Schroedinger was there that night though. If anyone you can ask him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jager Posted July 3, 2005 Share Posted July 3, 2005 Damn, but we need to get a tougher class of Utopians here. We keep losing 'em. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Knight Hood Posted July 3, 2005 Share Posted July 3, 2005 Not all of them. Ibiza was tragic, but it showed me a few things; about myself and the world. Utopia may be far from perfect, god we all know that by now, but they are trying to do what's right for everyone in spite of all the bureaucratic bullshit.I was in Ibiza and did some terrible things just to survive. I now understand just what I'm capable of if I put my mind to it. If I have these powers, then there are others like me out there, probably more powerful. All I can say to that is; the Project is needed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rowena 'Synergy' Bainbridge Posted July 3, 2005 Share Posted July 3, 2005 I'm still with the Project, Jager, despite what happened in Ibiza. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gerald Haney Posted July 3, 2005 Author Share Posted July 3, 2005 Quote:Originally posted by Jager: Damn, but we need to get a tougher class of Utopians here. We keep losing 'em. Man, you really are an asshole aren't you?Thanks for the kick to the ribs when I'm down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tarot Posted July 3, 2005 Share Posted July 3, 2005 Did you just call somebody an asshole? You? The guy that says things like "just one darn minute" or "what the heck were you thinking..." with a straight face?I'll find Willie. You just let us know where you are and we'll get you to here. I'll deal with Whore. We need to get frosted and talk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rowena 'Synergy' Bainbridge Posted July 3, 2005 Share Posted July 3, 2005 Quote:Originally posted by Jager:Damn, but we need to get a tougher class of Utopians here. We keep losing 'em.Go to hell, Jager. When you are a Utopian, you can make comments about us. Until then, shut up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Timeslip Posted July 3, 2005 Share Posted July 3, 2005 Gee, Synergy, you really are a piece of work. First, you make not just one but two whiny replies to the same post by Jager.Second, you pull out the hoard old "you can't criticize us unless you are us" chestnut; I'll remember that the next time someone decides to make cute comments about the Teragen.Third, we know all too well what PU is all about...and that's the reason we have no desire to be a part of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tarot Posted July 3, 2005 Share Posted July 3, 2005 Ah jeez... Not this religious shit again. Come on Gerry. Make the call. Mexican food ain't got nothing on Cuban, and you won't believe some of the shit that goes on here.Whore doesn't want to open her own club but thinks it would be cool to sing. I met a guy at breakfast after we stumbled back to the hotel that's doing security consulting and willing to help set something up. Real flag waver type but I checked out his story with the locals. He's tight with the cops and likes to bankroll steady action. Also not as crazy as some running around here. We're checking out hotels and clubs in a couple of days. If that's not enough I found out why Whore was so hot to come. She's got family here. If nothing else is enough, then here's the last thing I can tell you; Whore's got sisters.Give me a call.[font:Monotype Corsiva] [size:6]Tarot Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jager Posted July 3, 2005 Share Posted July 3, 2005 Quote:Originally posted by Gerald Haney:Man, you really are an asshole aren't you?Could be, but that doesn't change your whiny shit, does it?Quote:Originally posted by Gerald Haney:Thanks for the kick to the ribs when I'm down. Down?Tell it to all the dead that are in the earth because T2M botched a raid, why dontchya?Gerald, you work for for an organization that battles terrorists, religious extremists, and even governments, among others.West Africa, Macedonia, Tanzinia, Kashmir ...Congrats. You've been providing support to the soldiers instead of getting your hands bloody yourself. Wake the fuck up. You are part of that. If you can't live with that, then go find something you can do and still live with yourself afterwards.For the rest, I don't have a beef with Project Utopia. People should do what they believe in. They should also take a good long look at just what they are doing, and supporting, while pushing those beliefs. You are responsible for that price tag.When PU decided to take up the sword and go after the bad guys, they ... and you, were making a moral choice on what was good and evil ... on what evil you would allow, and what evil you would act against.Funny thing about swords is that they are sharp and often double edged. No one put that sword in your hands. You chose to pick it up. That's reality. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jager Posted July 3, 2005 Share Posted July 3, 2005 Quote:Originally posted by Rowena 'Synergy' Bainbridge: Go to hell, Jager. When you are a Utopian, you can make comments about us. Until then, shut up. Only when you chose to keep your nose out of the world's business, Synergy.You guys chose this role of moralist and world guardians. I'm not even saying that it doesn't need to be done, but you can expect criticism when you screw up.I'm not kicking Gerald because he's Utopian. I'm kicking him because he's whining about his sudden realization that there is a psychological cost for working at PU.If you are going to be part of the team that steers the WorldBoat, you need to be adults about it.Beyond that, I hope you, Xander, and Troll have a nice day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sam Grey Posted July 3, 2005 Share Posted July 3, 2005 Sheesh, what a bunch of self-righteous posturing. Since when did martyrs and do-gooders need validation? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dreamer Posted July 3, 2005 Share Posted July 3, 2005 Quote:Originally posted by Rowena 'Synergy' Bainbridge: Quote:Originally posted by Jager:Damn, but we need to get a tougher class of Utopians here. We keep losing 'em.Go to hell, Jager. When you are a Utopian, you can make comments about us. Until then, shut up. And I'll leave Utopia alone when,I legal recourse on it for the violations of my civil liberties. You work for a for profit corporation that was mistakenly given rights that exceed the authority of the group that gave them said rights. I have seen more about Utopia than I care to talk about and I have seen my “black tech” being sold under Utopian brand name. So don't you dare tell me, that I can't judge your creed, on the ground I didn't sign a NDA, and my soul over. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gerald Haney Posted July 3, 2005 Author Share Posted July 3, 2005 Jager, maybe that kind of attitude works when your in person with someone you know, but you're someone I don't know from Adam outside of some very very casual interaction. So yeah, I posted something when I was feeling down, I got no expectations of a pity fest, but your reaction was just short of Patton.You have a problem with me because being dead center at the Amp Room explosion freaked me out? Sorry, but fact is I am nearly as easy to hurt today as I was the day before I erupted. That minute in hell was the most scared I've been in my life and you showed about as much empathy as a drill sergeant. Well guess what, I'm not a Marine and you're not some desperately needed father figure. And then afterwards I spend several days being worked like a draft horse using a power I just figured out and still wasn't super comfortable with. Dunno if you've been there but being so drained of Q that you can't do anything, that's pretty freaky. I felt blind and deaf and the minute I started feeling normal again it was back to work. Felt like working in a coal mine and that too was something totally new and dumped on me without warning.You play super-soldier and morally righteous. Have fun. But man, learn to actually talk with people instead of down to them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rowena 'Synergy' Bainbridge Posted July 4, 2005 Share Posted July 4, 2005 So I'm a whiny bitch. Sue me, Timeslip. Oh, congratulations on your engagement by the way. I hope your wedded life turns out alright.I didn't participate in the Ibiza raid, and perhaps I ought to have. My empathic powers might have kept everyone calm.,,Quote:Originally posted by Dreamer: Quote:Originally posted by Rowena 'Synergy' Bainbridge: Quote:Originally posted by Jager:Damn, but we need to get a tougher class of Utopians here. We keep losing 'em.Go to hell, Jager. When you are a Utopian, you can make comments about us. Until then, shut up. And I'll leave Utopia alone when,I legal recourse on it for the violations of my civil liberties. You work for a for profit corporation that was mistakenly given rights that exceed the authority of the group that gave them said rights. I have seen more about Utopia than I care to talk about and I have seen my “black tech” being sold under Utopian brand name. So don't you dare tell me, that I can't judge your creed, on the ground I didn't sign a NDA, and my soul over.You are claiming that Project Utopia took black-tech that you admitted to creating and owning and is now selling it? I'd like to see your proof, please.I haven't signed my soul over, dear. I believe very strongly in the Project's aims and goals. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dreamer Posted July 4, 2005 Share Posted July 4, 2005 Sure, a breed of rice that grew more than twice as fast as rice any other rice in the world grew. They said it would destabilize markets in away that would unethical. What did you think I was talking about weapons or drugs? I am not a super villein, nor a terrorist. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jager Posted July 4, 2005 Share Posted July 4, 2005 Quote:Originally posted by Gerald Haney: ... but your reaction was just short of Patton.Not hardly. Stop putting your shit on me.Quote:Originally posted by Gerald Haney:You have a problem with me because being dead center at the Amp Room explosion freaked me out?Nope. From what I understand it was a pretty desperate, nasty fight. There were seasoned elites there who bugged out pretty quick.Quote:Originally posted by Gerald Haney:Sorry, but fact is I am nearly as easy to hurt today as I was the day before I erupted. That minute in hell was the most scared I've been in my life and you showed about as much empathy as a drill sergeant.Empathy? You are the one who decided to leave your fellow Utopians in a desperate situation.That's a tough thing all around.If you had stayed, odds are you would have been killed. There is probably a very good reason you are not a member of T2M. Once the fighting really got crazy, your Utopian affilation would have probably gotten you badly beaten, if not dead.Quote:Originally posted by Gerald Haney: Well guess what, I'm not a Marine and you're not some desperately needed father figure.Didn't think you were, and I'm not trying to be one for you.Quote:Originally posted by Gerald Haney:And then afterwards ... that too was something totally new and dumped on me without warning.You could just said 'NO', like any other responsible adult. You know your mental and physical limits better than anyone else.Quote:Originally posted by Gerald Haney:You play super-soldier and morally righteous. Have fun.I didn't leave people I knew there to die, Gerald.I didn't burn myself out trying to compensate for precieved past failings.There is, and was, nothing wrong about being scared in that situation.There is nothing wrong with telling others that you can only help so much.Quote:Originally posted by Gerald Haney:But man, learn to actually talk with people instead of down to them. I'm not talking down to you, Gerald. I'm talking from experience. You assume I'm talking down to you, when I'm trying to point out aspects of a larger situation. Most people do not draw a distinction between T2Mers and the rest of Utopian.You are a Utopian, so why weren't you heroic? Could it have anything to do with the fact that you are a research assistant and bartender? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tarot Posted July 4, 2005 Share Posted July 4, 2005 Feel better now, Gerry? No joke, you're knocking your head against a wall here. Walls generally don't care and there's no way you can't make them be what they are.You just lost a bet btw. You said it could never be proven and look what just happened. What you really meant is that I couldn't prove it but that's not what we bet on. Willie can't be found so just go the airport and pick up tickets.See you soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gerald Haney Posted July 12, 2005 Author Share Posted July 12, 2005 Tarot, on my way buddy. Had to tie up some loose ends and talk with Utopia HR. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gerald Haney Posted July 12, 2005 Author Share Posted July 12, 2005 Jager, I waited a few days and re-read your stuff. If you don't get how you come across here I'm not going to be able to convince you. No biggee. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jager Posted July 12, 2005 Share Posted July 12, 2005 You're agreeing with Tarot. Wow ... I'm stunned.Well, not really. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gerald Haney Posted July 12, 2005 Author Share Posted July 12, 2005 Why would you be? I'm sorry but I don't get the point of what you're saying. I was just saying I wouldn't kvetch at you anymore about this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jager Posted July 12, 2005 Share Posted July 12, 2005 Quote:Originally posted by Gerald Haney: If you don't get how you come across here I'm not going to be able to convince you. How I come across here?For a moment I thought you were channeling Tarot. Glad I was mistaken. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
billy Horrorshow Posted July 14, 2005 Share Posted July 14, 2005 I've got my annual "Invitation to work for Project Utopia" (it's an N!tv thing) on my desk right now and I'm afraid it's going to give me a horrible disease that'll make me have to talk about good and evil like I'm a big hippy.Guys, we're not superheroes. Do cops talk like this when no one's around?Bob:"Hey Phil, do you ever feel you're not truly fighting the Evil in the world?"Phil: "What, are you fucking gay? I'm in it for the paycheck and the occasional blowjob in the back of the squad car, what else?"Project Utopia's propaganda machine is getting out of control somehow. 1st rule of Show Biz: Never believe your own advertising.Somehow I think it applies.-billy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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