opnet [OpNet] Educating Tarot.

[Wakinyan]

Neil got me to thinking in my journal so I wanted to take this out to the forum.

Tarot I guess I should try to give you an example on just one thing that is a problem in an average day.

Taking a shit.

Now for you this unpleasant little body function is simply you go to the bathroom, dump, wipe and flush you're done. Something you don't even really think much about. You just sit there read a magazine and then on with your day.

For me though... If I am in the country I have to find someplace private enough that I am not going to totally piss people off by leaving a hundred or so pound log in their yard. Cuz I sure as hell can't drop it in a toilet. Now think of where I am now.. That's right Tokyo, one of the biggest cities on the planet. Where oh where can I find a place to do this? Simple answer is about a 10 minute flight out to sea. (Maybe Prodigy has a Nova super toilet but I haven't checked yet)

Okay so we have gotten the big issue of location out of the way for the most part. Next up.

How do you wipe your ass when you have claws almost three feet long? Answer. You don't. luckily I don't worry about getting to dirty back there so this isn't a huge ordeal as it could be. They don't make Charmin in my size. I could try rubbing it on the ground or maybe licking my ass but I am really trying to keep a grip on what is left of my humanity. So this all comes down to a cold water hose or dipping my ass in some water.

I realize most who read this are gonna scream "to much info" but I want you to understand just ONE thing that has changed in my day. Just existing and living for me has changed.

What about the money it takes to eat?

Going into almost any door?

Shedding?

Sex?

You say "Oh you need to watch those rage issues." Well dude, what if I can't? What if every time I get upset I want to rip whatever upsets me apart? Yeah I can work on it sure. What if it is as much a part of me as my new body?

I can hear every insult uttered about me behind my back in a two mile radius. I can hear a persons heart skip and speed up when they get near me. I invoke a fight or flight response in almost everything I run into now. Even some Novas.

If you think you could do a better fucking job than I have in this body you'd be a Saint and to be honest I would much rather be a pretty boy golden child getting everything he wanted than a monster. Even if it is some noble monster of myth.

There's just a taste of what I have been dealing with in the past year. I am sure yours will go much better for you. Have a nice fucking day.

[Noir]

One word.

Dormancy.

[Lemmy Chillmeister]

Dormancy?

Fuck that. Lobotomy is more accurate a fucking term.

Totem, I feel for you brother, really I do. Do I have the same situation? Fuck no. But face it man, it is what you are now. Mr. Two Legs is history, you are what you are. How long has it been now?

Accept and embrace is the order of the day. You be who you are. If not, all you are is a victim and I think you're a little stronger than that brother.

[Wakinyan]

Oh I think you misunderstood Lemmy. I don't hang myself up on the cross as Prodigy thinks I do everyday. I have accepted most of what I am now better or worse. However enlightening Tarot seems in order so I thought I would educate him on just a small thing that other Novas not gifted like he have to deal with.

I tried to learn Dormancy but I just never got it. Either I am stupid or unable whichever. Now I know this is what I am and I should just deal.

Also my eruption day was late last month.

[Hugin]

You want to talk about Taint?

Let me educate you. Physical discomfort is really so bush league.

Are you aware that even if I wanted to frequent locations populated by baselines I could not? My presence is harmful to them, weak willed novas as well. My ongoing presence can kill those of particularly insufficient constitution.

You have a bit of a temper? Oh, I'm so sorry. Are you aware that if I'm a little tired or out of sorts that my emotional reactions are random? Frighten me and I'll try to kill you. Show me a lusty scene and I may cry. Challenge my intellect with a fascinating puzzle and I'll become hideously depressed. Of course, there is the small matter of one hundred and twenty six seperate personalities fighting me constantly for control. Every moment of every day. I've had to take a remarkable number of precautions against that possibility.

I am sorry for you, truly I am. But as has been said, you are Nova, you are not baseline, so stop thinking you can live like one or even think like one. Your burden is more than some, tough, I was born a drooling imbecile and I dealt with it then, you deal with it now. If you want to educate try a different tack.

[Wakinyan]

I am try to point out the issues that Tarot wasn't reborn with. He seems to need some alternatives so I welcome anyone else willing to share.

A lot of us do have issues Tarot. But I don't see you calling Prodigy Schizo or exRetard so how about not calling me or accusing me of being Psycho from now on.

[Jager]

Quote:

Originally posted by James 'Prodigy' Meehan:
You want to talk about Taint?

Sure. Let's talk about taint.

Quote:

Originally posted by James 'Prodigy' Meehan:
Let me educate you. Physical discomfort is really so bush league.

You would understand the differance on a personal level how? Really, what physical aberration has transformed your life?

Quote:

Originally posted by James 'Prodigy' Meehan:
Are you aware that even if I wanted to frequent locations populated by baselines I could not? My presence is harmful to them, weak willed novas as well. My ongoing presence can kill those of particularly insufficient constitution.

Two things.
One, you pushed yourself and said aberration was the result. You didn't erupt that way (if Utopia is to be believed).
Two, you haven't show much of an inclination to spend time among baselines anyway. You are giving up what exactly?
BTW, applause on not wanting to go down to the local cafe and wipe out the patrons and staff.

Quote:

Originally posted by James 'Prodigy' Meehan:
You have a bit of a temper? Oh, I'm so sorry. Are you aware that if I'm a little tired or out of sorts that my emotional reactions are random? Frighten me and I'll try to kill you. Show me a lusty scene and I may cry. Challenge my intellect with a fascinating puzzle and I'll become hideously depressed. Of course, there is the small matter of one hundred and twenty six seperate personalities fighting me constantly for control. Every moment of every day. I've had to take a remarkable number of precautions against that possibility.

And, if the MPD really affected how you lived your daily life ... but it doesn't. You found ways to channel it into something useful. You've had the time, and training, to beat it. I congratulate you on being bright and driven enough to accomplish this, but I don't see how much bearing it has on someone who ERUPTED THAT WAY.

Quote:

Originally posted by James 'Prodigy' Meehan:
I am sorry for you, truly I am. But as has been said, you are Nova, you are not baseline, so stop thinking you can live like one or even think like one.

Novas don't eat, shit, fuck, ect.?

Quote:

Originally posted by James 'Prodigy' Meehan:
Your burden is more than some, tough, I was born a drooling imbecile and I dealt with it then, you deal with it now.

You dealt with being born a drooling imbecile all by yourself, really? No family fortune? No assistance from another living being?
Damn, that's impressive.
Not even a little help from a wandering wolf pack?

After your eruption, you weren't taken into Project Utopia? They didn't help you at all?

I'm just trying to bridge the gap between being born a poor Indian kid on a Reservation and being born in your privledged circumstances.
Maybe looking at your pampered existance at PU can help us understand and contrast your infinite struggles compared to that of a Monsterous-looking Gryphon who is pretty much on his own.

[Wakinyan]

This isn't a pitty party for me. I don't want or need it. Hell with guys like Sloppy Joe out there I won the lotto.

The point of all this is. It could always be worse. So the next time you make fun of someone for their aberrations think twice not only because they might rip your head off but also because you might be on the other end of it someday.

Screw this now I am gonna go drink a few gallon of Sake'!

[Long]

Hey Totem, look up Minobou Asahara and tell him I refered you to him. He'll brew you some of his special Sake. It's the only stuff I've seen that a nova and a basline can enjoy. Just tell him to charge it to my account. If you need someplace to stay talk to him and he'll put you up. Don't worry about your appearance, I wouldn't refer you to him if it was going to be a problem.

[Tarot]

Bad life. Sux to be you. Understood.

If, anywhere in the last couple of weeks, you'd tried to mention you were in a bad mood and it wasn't to be taken at face value I'd have empathy. As it is you're just going to have to wait until I get over it.

I don't imagine that will bother you much.

[Conduit]

Quote:

Originally posted by Jager:

Quote:

Originally posted by James 'Prodigy' Meehan:
Let me educate you. Physical discomfort is really so bush league.

You would understand the differance on a personal level how? Really, what physical aberration has transformed your life?

I'd also like to point out that physical abberations affect more then just the body. For some it might be to much to to be called a freak and realize that it might be true. Not being able to participate can be shattering to the mind, nova or baseline.

[Wakinyan]

Quote:

Originally posted by Tarot:
Bad life. Sux to be you. Understood.

You just don't seem to get it. I guess maybe a sit down is in order. As soon as Sakurako doesn't need me anymore I will drop by.

[Tarot]

Quote:

Totem:
You just don't seem to get it.

That officially makes two of us then because you don't seem to be getting it either.

Quote:

I guess maybe a sit down is in order. As soon as Sakurako doesn't need me anymore I will drop by.

Totem either you enjoy playing with the people too new to know any better, which makes for a fun filled day for me when you drop by, or I get to wonder if being slow to get the ice for your drink is going to push you over the edge into a violent uncontrolled rage.

Nice. Is there a third choice that doesn't involve an antagonistic nova with poor impulse control chilling in my crib? Not that it doesn't sounds like a really great time. For you.

[Wakinyan]

You say you have Novas over all the time right? Any of them Elites? If so it is far more likely that they have done very bad things that would make you throw a fit. Maybe you are on a don't ask don't tell policy?

I can't promise your safety I can't even promise that to someone I love like.. Nevermind someone I just met like you. Now if you cannot handle that fine it's your place and I am not going to huff and puff down you straw house just because your attitude ruffles me.

[Tarot]

Quote:

Originally posted by Totem:
You say you have Novas over all the time right? Any of them Elites? If so it is far more likely that they have done very bad things that would make you throw a fit. Maybe you are on a don't ask don't tell policy?

Yes, I do and even invited most of them.

Yes, some of them are elites.

No fits.

Yeah there is a little "don't ask, don't tell" going on but not the way you think. You may not understand this, but this is Ibiza. People in T2M slam dance with Terats. Big bad Elites talk about their mothers and how filched their op was or the girl back home. Somewhere on the dance floor or in the alcoves all along the wall is your dream mate and she/he/it is probably several others too. The sweet little home town girl defending a city might be wearing another nova named Ed like he was a body suit and making sounds you would not believe. Inhibitions, codes, and a lot else get checked at the door when they come in or at least before the sun rises. The ones that talk politics, try to build little cliques, prosyletize or monopolize floor space get asked out the door. And that's just the Amp Room.

If your skin is blue, you have feathers instead of hair, the fires of hell burn out your eye sockets, your skin is withered or anything else; this is where novas come so people don't stare. This is where the term novacentric life style came from. I do talk with a lot of nova and a lot of them open up because they want to as I put their soul on /SHINE/.

Some works will never be finished. Some won't be seen for a long time or without the subject or their heir agreeing in advance. And some get one long look by the client then they get destroyed. And agreeing to any and all of the above before we ever sit down to work is the price I pay for the privilege of creating unique masterpieces that will never, can never, be reproduced or equaled.

[Jager]

The ones that talk politics, try to build little cliques, prosyletize or monopolize floor space get asked out the door. And that's just the Amp Room.

Wow ... what gave you that idea?

Hell's Belles, Tarot, I've done all those things and am welcomed back time and time again.

Security has better things to do than start a fight.

The thin reigns of control are the rule there. Do what you want as long as it doesn't harm another. That's pretty much it.

[Tarot]

Give me a yell the next time you decide to go. I want to watch you proselytize someone in the middle of a aeriel slam dance with the music somewhere past 'toll of doom' volume. Maybe it was bingo night when you were there.

[Walker]

Totem Forgive me for saying but you seem all hung up on the bad side of things here. Being Nova takes courage and imagination, surely there is some way you can make the best of things? To make the advantages of being Nova outweigh the disadvantages? Why are you getting all hot under the collar over taking a dump and going through doors and stuff when you've got Nova powers in return? Who cares that society alienates you. Just make sure you don't become alienated to yourself. Don't let their disgust and anger become your disgust and anger.

Nova means new. You are a new form of life. Give in to it. Go with the flow.

Wanna here a crazy theory? I invented this one myself... The more you pine for those things that were lost on eruption the more you drive away those things that are left.

[Tarot]

For anyone that hasn't been there; don't get the idea that Ibiza is nova paradise.

There just doesn't seem to be any other place like it.

[Singularity]

Quote:

Originally posted by Tarot:
For anyone that hasn't been there; don't get the idea that Ibiza is nova paradise.

There just doesn't seem to be any other place like it.

I would think paradise is something unique to the person; I found mine.

[Long]

I agree with Walker Totem. Don't let the beast control your life, tame it and theen revel in your life as a nova. We simply aren't human anymore. Many of us can no longer even remotely pass for normal. Most of those I know just deal with it and go and enjoy thier abilities as a nova.

[Wakinyan]

Got it Tarot you are a hypocrit on here but not in real life or vice versa. I will take that into consideration.

Walker it is pretty simple. No matter how hard a shell I would like to have I still have to realize I am a social creature. I don't need the approval of my peers but I still don't like the screaming and running I could cause either. I could only socialize with Novas sure. To be honest it is what I do more and more of everyday. But most Novas still live in a world where doors are no more than seven feet high. Including me. You can walk away from humanity knowing you are not human. I know I am not human and realize there are very few places to walk away from humanity left on this planet. You have the option of walking off the planet.

[Tarot]

Nice aggro. Glad it's working out for you.

Enjoy Tokyo.

[Jager]

Quote:

Originally posted by Tarot:
Give me a yell the next time you decide to go. I want to watch you proselytize someone in the middle of a aeriel slam dance with the music somewhere past 'toll of doom' volume.

Deal, but then I get to see you do some impromtu body art on some random elites sitting at the bar. No need to ask them, just jump right in and start splashing them with colors.

Quote:

Originally posted by Tarot:
Maybe it was bingo night when you were there.

Well, the game of nova bingo we played once was as much treasure hunt as bingo, but ...

Okay, Tarot, I'm going to go out on a limb here and ASSUME you really aren't a total simpleton.

There are ways one can make a political, social, or spiritual statement that go beyond words.
Lemmy and Slattern were proselytizing when the did there "thing" just recently. Ask about it.
Sometimes it can be something as simple as getting people to THINK.
Or, to think about a particular something.
To remind them to follow their own dreams,
to re-awaken their love of something they've put on a shelf while they've been basking in the moment,
or to bask in the moment.

The Amp Room isn't me, and it isn't you, but it is a part of us and a part of everyone else who goes there.
To say certain things CAN'T happen there is to blind yourself to the inherent possibilities that bloom were ever we gather.
Think about it.

[Tarot]

LOL!

Got it. Jager may ask me to think about something in the four second pause between a mind numbing track off Mefistopholeeeeeeeeez(sic?) Burning Juice Ass and the parody of the T2M oath as wailed by Whore's Daughter. Both of which are playing at hurricane volumes.

With luck I will not be distracted, drunk, music deafened or in the middle of an orgasm. If I am; I firmly resolve to do my nova best to remember to think about it no more than 12-48 hours later when I've finally managed consciousness again. Unless I find myself in bed (or elsewhere) with a beauty of ethereal qualities and possibly her two friends, at least one of whom still finds me "interesting" even in hangover. In the event of which Jager will just have to console himself by thinking about what is really important in life and leave me alone for a few more days.

Understood. Politics. Got it.

The color thing is no trouble at all. It's the AMP ROOM. No big deal. I call dibs on Valkyry. See you when the season starts.

[Walker]

Totem I can sympathise with you but it doesn't seem that I can offer much in the way of solutions

Oh well, here's another thought. We are new, it will take some time for the Baselines to look beyond our taint.

If they ever can.

[Wakinyan]

It bothers me that it is called taint. Is it some karmatic punishment in order to balance out the fun powers we get? I don't want to think of some of the things I am now as something negative. Something that lessens me.

[Walker]

Taint is just a label, don't get hung up on the label. It's no form of punishment, you might like to think of it as simply another form of power. It just doesn't begin under your conscious control.

It's only in Baseline opinion that taint lessens a Nova. Note, this is not to say that taint can't be dangerous. From my perspective I see taint as something that you either use or find yourself being used by. I guess it's a question of how much self control you like having.

[Jager]

Sometimes it pays to know your audience.

[Tarot]

Now was that so hard to admit? Saying something "never" or "always" happens may blind you to other possibilities. So does deciding someone needs to think about what you believe they need to think about when you decide it should happen. That doesn't make them think, it just makes them annoyed.

From what I hear, New Ground is probably a better place for that. People come to the Amp Room and Ibiza for other reasons.

[Jager]

Bad assumption on my part. Got it.

[Tarot]

It's cool.

[Jager]

Quote:

Originally posted by Tarot:
It's cool.

Not really.

[Tarot]

Suit yourself, dudester.

You only have to live with yourself right?

[Jager]

Tarot, is this something you are referring to?

Failing to continue watching you stroke your own ego isn't bailing on a conversation, its an exercise in common sense.

[Tarot]

No, actually it wasn't but you brought up a good point. You have an ego the size of LA. I'm sure you can't wait to get fingers to keyboard and play come back with me but think about it for a minute.

I told you in this conversation that walking up to people and interrupting their party because you think that its time for you to ask what you think are important questions because of something you're thinking about is going to be seen as rude. I didn't say you weren't cool, although as much a dick as you usually act here I don't see how that's possible, I just said it doesn't fit. And then suddenly you had this big hard on for making it sound like you could do whatever you wanted whenever you wanted and however you wanted. And it would all magically work out because you're you. A couple of us here have nodes too.

Tell me again who was polishing their ego wood?

[Jager]

Assumption #1: That I have an ego-investment in any of this. Sorry, but I don't. Keep running that angle if it makes you feel better, but it's going nowhere.

Assumption #2:It isn't just me, though you seem to enjoy picking at me. Most likely because we disagree so much and that really appears to bother you. Learn to live with it. Politics goes on all the time at the AmpRoom. I can guess at the reason you aren't invited to the party, though. You are terribly interested in yourself and only yourself. You KNOW things and better yet, you KNOW that you are right. Such fanaticism doesn't invite stimulating conversation. Once people get a handle on your brand of Charismatic Egotism, you are probably pretty fun to deal with, but only in a limited fashion ... on your terms.

Assumption #3:you could do whatever you wanted whenever you wanted and however you wanted. And it would all magically would all work out because you're you. This may fit well into the way you want me to be, but it isn't me.

Does it bother you that I am most likely much more powerful than you? Have I ever threatened you with my AWESOME MIGHT?

What I am is someone who has been a nova for as long as you have been alive.

Assumption #4: That you are not stroking your own ego.

What I don't like is people who won't think outside of their own little boxes, primarily because that brand of fanaticism is inherently dangerous. It reeks of a lack of real empathy for those who aren't like you.

No empathy = no real dialogue, which is violence waiting to happen.

Now, this isn't likely to happen in your carefully scripted life. I'm sure everything will work out for Tarot, nothing really bad or world altering will come your way, and the world you build around yourself will be exactly what you want it to be.

[Tarot]

And this is why its mostly pointless to try and talk with you about anything more important than the weather. Not that you wouldn't argue about it being a good day or not.

All Hail.

[Jager]

Pointless because I fail to agree with you?

You act like questioning things is bad.

As for the rest,

More of Sound-Bite Theatre here on the Tarot Channel.

[Tarot]

Quote:

Originally posted by Jager:
Pointless because I fail to agree with you?
You act like questioning things is bad.

As for the rest,
More of Sound-Bite Theatre here on the Tarot Channel.

Umm... No?