opnet [OpNet] Something that's been weighing on my mind.

[Violette 'V' D'Aronique]

I can't hold my tongue on this matter any longer. I'm going to really upset some people here with what I have to say and I'm not going to play nice about it.

I was employed with Project Utopia for five years. I was a member of Team Tomorrow in various capacities for the entirety of my employment. As a member of both the Americas Auxiliary and the main team, I did not have the chance to work frequently with Ms. Regan McLachlan, who was known as Codex at the time, but our paths did cross on occasion and I want to present something to all of you "Utopia is Evil for what they did to Poor Codex" chanters.

Ms. McLachlan has a condition called Asperger's Syndrome, which is a mild form of autism. For an indepth look at the condition, please go here . The basics of it:

individuals with AS can exhibit a variety of characteristics and the disorder can range from mild to severe. Persons with AS show marked deficiencies in social skills, have difficulties with transitions or changes and prefer sameness. They often have obsessive routines and may be preoccupied with a particular subject of interest. They have a great deal of difficulty reading nonverbal cues (body language) and very often the individual with AS has difficulty determining proper body space. Often overly sensitive to sounds, tastes, smells, and sights, the person with AS may prefer soft clothing, certain foods, and be bothered by sounds or lights no one else seems to hear or see. It's important to remember that the person with AS perceives the world very differently. Therefore, many behaviors that seem odd or unusual are due to those neurological differences and not the result of intentional rudeness or bad behavior, and most certainly not the result of "improper parenting".

Ms. McLachlan remained in an abusive relationship for quite some time before erupting. She remained there for her own reasons. Upon erupting, her abusive husband was left as little more than a vegetable due to her blossoming psychic ability. Due to the circumstances of her eruption, she was left with a lame knee and staunch desire, read guilt, to only use her newfound mental abilities in the most restrictive of senses.

She joined Project Utopia with her friend (and later to be lover) Warlady. She remained nothing more than, in her words, "Splash's Filing System," for seven years. She never had her lame knee repaired, never was promoted or moved into anything higher than a glorified secretary.

Recently, Warlady has died, and Ms. McLachlan has since engaged in an ongoing flamewar the Terat Charr, suffered quantum backlash and ended up physically and emotionally transformed, and was apparently drugged to the point of stupor by her Utopian doctors as the only means of controlling her backlashed moodswings and then released from her employment.

Ms. McLachlan has been a victim her entire life. Some of it has been beyond her control. Other parts of it are by her own action or inaction. Every major crossroads in her life has been the result of personal tragedy, injury, or medical condition. Even her upcoming nuptials to Franklin "Singularity" Alden (also formerly of the EVIL Project Utopia) are linked back to Warlady's death . Some of this site's regulars have even gone so far as to refer to her as a professional victim.

So, knowing all of this, and you can bet that Ms. McLachlan's superiors and doctors knew all of it, why on earth would they do something so patently stupid as to victimize a victim, especially in her current state of publicity?

For starters, every nova in Project Utopia is valuable. They aren't expendable resources. It's one of the reasons the two-on-one-when-in-combat rule is there. A lot of time, energy, money, and effort goes into the training and grooming of every nova that works for the Project, especially in Team Tomorrow where Ms. McLachlan had recently been accepted and assigned to. It's unreasonable that they would simply "drug her into a stupor" to simply deal with the symptoms rather than try helping her get through it. Utopia's paraphysicians are some of the best, if not the best, in the world and we're to believe the extent of their caring was just to, in Singularity's recent words, "react[ed] only to the symptoms and forgot it was their job to help her," as though she was nothing more than some cog in a machine that was haphazardly doused in lubricating oil with the intent of being replaced? If nothing else, because the sheer amount of effort in training Ms. McLachlan for the past seven years would be wasted if she was drugged beyond the ability to even do her job?

Was time away from work never considered? Vacation? Medical leave? Leave of absence? I don't believe that at all. I've never seen or even heard of such careless treatment of any Team Tomorrow agent in all the time I spent as one of them.

Secondly, the risks involved in treating such a high profile employee with the neglect we're expected to believe are so ludicrous, it seems scripted. The people at this site make jokes about how painstakingly careful the Project's public relations are, but given Ms. McLachlan's history and in particular the past year of her life, this is the only form of care they thought to provide her? No one was in a brightly-lit boardroom discussing that Ms. McLachlan should have time away to recuperate and learn to understand the changes she had undergone? You're telling me that everyone, from her Team Leader, to the Arena Director, to her paraphysicans, to the Director of T2M, and the Director of Project Utopia all dropped the ball on this and let it escalate to the point we're seeing now? That simply medicating her was the best thought of and/or only proposed solution?

Again, I don't think so.

It's ironic that after all the trauma that Project Utopia put Ms. McLachlan through, she's vacationing away somewhere, with her mood swings apparently not an issue though she is assumedly no longer medicated, recently engaged, and happy a free bird.

It's even more ironic that things come to their climax with Ms. McLachlan being injured by people trying to restrain her, and with hints of the dreaded Bahrain deportation.

In other words, with Utopia, caged, neglected, and unhappy. Without Utopia, free, loved, and happy.

This is my opinion only, but I think Ms. McLachlan was medicated to the degree that she claims was because that is, subconsciously or consciously, exactly what she wanted. It's yet another time in her life when she was given the role of the victim, someone persecuted or neglected, and it conveniently absolved her of the need to just leave Project Utopia because she was unhappy there.

Liam Stewart's recent explanation, "She quit Project Utopia a long time ago. She waited until she lost it completely before she signed the resignation letter but it was just a formality by then from what I hear," sounds infinitely more plausible than the one featuring Utopia as a cold, uncaring mega-corporation who uses novas until they are no longer useful then discards them.

I don't doubt that she has suffered. I do doubt, very much so, the portrayal of Project Utopia in her and Singularity's version of events. I expect my opinion is going to be pretty unpopular here, and I don't really care. It's nice and easy to blame Utopia for almost anything these days, and someone has to stick up for them.

[Wakinyan]

So she "made" them drug her or are you saying she is lying? So we are sticking up for Utopia? Fine. Other than "offering" further treatment they never made me go anywhere against my will. I wont be joining them soon as I am sure they won't be hiring me soon. I am happy to leave it at that on a personal level.

[Liam Stewart: TAG]

Then we'll leave it at that Totem.

Thank you, Miss D'Aronique. For having a little faith. For not being one of those talking trash just because its popular.

Thanks.

[Sakurako Hino]

Most of what you said has made the detratcors of Utopia's tactics right.

Quite frankly, I find your logic flawed. First, the tenor of your diatribe starts off as a cloaked attack on her. You think she appreciates having her problems constantly tossed out like she needs our pity? I don't think so.

Secondly, Utopia DID victimize her. You said so yourself. While saying that we shouldn't at the very least criticize their actions. Where's the logic in this, Violette?

The hypocaracy of your post astounds me.

I would bring up more of the gaping flaws, but I think they are so obvious, that the people here can see them for themselves.

Yes, she is a good friend of mine, I'm biased, but this sort of... I don't even have words for it, bit it is downright bullcrap.

[Liam Stewart: TAG]

*sigh*

[Violette 'V' D'Aronique]

Quote:

Originally posted by Endeavor:
Most of what you said has made the detratcors of Utopia's tactics right.

Quite frankly, I find your logic flawed. First, the tenor of your diatribe starts off as a cloaked attack on her. You think she appreciates having her problems constantly tossed out like she needs our pity? I don't think so.

Secondly, Utopia DID victimize her. You said so yourself. While saying that we shouldn't at the very least criticize their actions. Where's the logic in this, Violette?

The hypocaracy of your post astounds me.

I would bring up more of the gaping flaws, but I think they are so obvious, that the people here can see them for themselves.

Yes, she is a good friend of mine, I'm biased, but this sort of... I don't even have words for it, bit it is downright bullcrap.

Yes, this is an attack on her. She's attacking Project Utopia and Team Tomorrow, something I happen to care very much about.

I also never said that Utopia victimized her. I've got no clue where you're pulling that part out of my words.

It's easy to say "I see the flaws but they are so obvious" when you're waiting for someone else to either point them out or take up the fight for you. I don't believe you for an instant when you claim that, given your history.

[The Paragon]

Ms. Hino ....

I like Ms. McLachlan a good deal too, but I also have a healthy respect for her combative abilities. Now, if someone was acting in a self-admittedly dangerous manner, shouldn't some consideration be given to the safety of others?

Or, would you prefer she melt the brain out of some innocent and become a murderess?

We don't have the luxury of saying everyone is self-responsible and then living without the consequences of other people's irresponsible behavior.

[Singularity]

Quote:

Originally posted by Violette 'V' D'Aronique:
...So, knowing all of this, and you can bet that Ms. McLachlan's superiors and doctors knew all of it, why on earth would they do something so patently stupid as to victimize a victim, especially in her current state of publicity?...

...In other words, with Utopia, caged, neglected, and unhappy. Without Utopia, free, loved, and happy...

...It's yet another time in her life when she was given the role of the victim, someone persecuted or neglected, and it conveniently absolved her of the need to just leave Project Utopia because she was unhappy there...

You disappoint me, Ms. D'Aronique. There are those here who rely on pop or canned psychology to make a point and I did not believe you were one of them. Do you honestly believe that because Regan did not mention other methods used by Utopia that they were not tried? Can you really reconcile your protrayal of a methodical and careful organization that should have foreseen Regan's problems with the same group that fired you for simply speaking your mind?

Also, you seem to disbelieve basic facts and have referred to them in an weakened and incorrect fashion. Project Utopia was unable to help her deal with the changes. They tried and they failed. Outside of the Project, she has found a way that works. From what it appears, this attacks your sensibilities regarding Utopia and you are, to use an old term, playing Monday morning quarterback. The events have already occured and you were not there to experience them.

Quote:

Originally posted by Violette 'V' D'Aronique:
...It's nice and easy to blame Utopia for almost anything these days, and someone has to stick up for them.

Quote:

Originally posted by Violette 'V' D'Aronique:
Yes, this is an attack on her. She's attacking Project Utopia and Team Tomorrow, something I happen to care very much about...

Yes, you have others helping you in the Project's defense. But I believe Regan is not attacking the Project nor Team Tomorrow, not actively. Her simple recounting of her experiences is not the throwing down of a glove.


Also, on a general note for everyone: at least have the common decency to call her Dr. McLachlan.

[Ian 'Very Bad' Blakely]

Time for the big thug to chime in.

I agree with V near completely. Big suprise. Sing, you bitch about how we assume that nothing else was tried when how the hell were we supposed to think that it was. All I heard was drugs, drugs, and drugs. Sounded like something out of One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. If you don't want people thinking that well then the two of you need to do a better job of communicating.

All I heard was Codex had problems and Utopia came at her like Dr. Mengle's Booster Squad. Now, I'm not a fan of the Yellow and Blue Spandex Patrol, far from it, but even to me that sounded like a bunch of bullshit. I've worked with former Yoopies, I've talked with some of the non-T2M'ers when I've been at the Amp Room. You know Gerald Haney? Part-time Research Assistant, part-time bartender. Nice level head on his shoulders. I ran some of the shit I've been reading here and he was a little baffled. Threw some regs at me, told me how if that happened then people were skipping shit-loads of required steps for dealing with Quantum Feedback. So, I'm thinking you and Codex are throwing a very slanted version of the events at us. If that's how you believe it happened, cool. But there are people who flat out believe they're ass has been yanked up into a spaceship and then been probed by a Venusian John Holmes. It doesn't make it so.

[Jager]

I find it confusing that they would immediately jump to such Gestapo tactics, yet then just turn around and let her leave.

Also, the timing seems a bit odd. Saimhe went from Head Librarian, to Team Tomorrow Central member rather fast ... then had a good friend/lover die ... then had a rather nasty case of psychic/tainted backlash while on a vacation stop.

Okay, I have never been a member of T2M, but at DeVries, there would have been mandatory counciling after the Kashmir affair.

After the Pow-Wow, there would have been the inactive roster and a list of off-site facilities would have been provided, if you wouldn't use the in-house shop. If you had refused those two options, you would have been asked to leave.

If you had threatened and/or attacked the medical personnel, other measures would have been taken, and a hurt wing would have been the least of your worries. There, your personal freedoms end when you are deemed a threat to other personnel.

While I am certainly happy that Saimhe is free to pursue the life she has chosen, I would also put the blame clearly were it belongs ... with Saimhe.

As far as I can tell, she has placed herself in every situation that has shaped her life. Sometimes life gives you poor choices to chose from, but your actions are still your own.

Saimhe, you knew Julie before you erupted. You chose to go back home to that bastard instead.

Saimhe, you chose to stay in the safety of the library for all those years. Being there kept the other difficult choices at bay, didn't it?

You chose to love two, not just one, who head off to battle on a regular basis.

You chose to step in the way of Totem. Admirable action though it was, it was still your choice.

You chose to resist the choices open to you when this most recent problem became evident. You chose to resist the medication, and you chose to attack your fellow Utopians.

Then you chose to leave.

I seriously doubt you gave Utopia time to go through their full regimen of therapy. There just wasn't enough time.

As far as I can tell, you were free the whole time, otherwise, how could you just have gotten up and left?

BTW, you have priority knowledge of the Project running around your head, and they still let you leave. They didn't have to, you know. You were within their power, and Singularity isn't Mal. He wouldn't be pulling you out of Bahrain if they wanted to put you there.

Look at all of this in perspective and ...

move on with your life.

[Neil Preston]

Well, I have yet to catch up with Regan about this, but I wonder if Project Utopia's approach to the entire situation is wrong. There was a jump to sedate, medicate, and nuetralize way to quickly.

That comes from strictly baseline thinking and the false assumption that taint and aberrations are diseases to be treated, and not an inherent part of the individual nova.

We don't extract the node, do we? It is a physical aberration and early work referred to it as a "tumor-like growth".

I hope Project Utopia takes this incident as a wake-up call and looks into new ways of looking at novas and nova evolution. Treating us as if we were baselines with kewl powers is only going to backfire.

[Sakurako Hino]

Violette: "For starters, every nova in Project Utopia is valuable. They aren't expendable resources..." "...as though she was nothing more than some cog in a machine that was haphazardly doused in lubricating oil with the intent of being replaced? If nothing else, because the sheer amount of effort in training Ms. McLachlan for the past seven years would be wasted if she was drugged beyond the ability to even do her job?"

There is your hypocracy, Violette. They DID drug her. From my conversations with her I know her not to be a liar. Utopia doesn't value a Nova unless they provide some form of use. Using her like that made her a victim of their policies, and their revolving door of burnouts who, after their use is done, get discarded like yesterday's trash.

As soon as she developed this problem she went from resource to liability, therefore she was no longer worth the effort to them. So, they drug her, and secretly figure some way to be rid of her.

A Nova is not a product. We shouldn't have ANY VALUE placed on our hides like some sort of cattle.

Violette: "It's easy to say "I see the flaws but they are so obvious" when you're waiting for someone else to either point them out or take up the fight for you. I don't believe you for an instant when you claim that, given your history."

Oh...

You're talking about those OTHER flaws I mentioned... Here ya go then...

Violette: "It's ironic that after all the trauma that Project Utopia put Ms. McLachlan through, she's vacationing away somewhere, with her mood swings apparently not an issue though she is assumedly no longer medicated, recently engaged, and happy a free bird."

Wouldn't you be if finally everything in your world was going right? I sure as hell would be. What, because of what happened she doesn't have any right to be happy, now that someone who cares about her is willing to be with her for the rest of her days? Someone who loves her for who she is, not what she is capable of doing?

Violette: "This is my opinion only, but I think Ms. McLachlan was medicated to the degree that she claims was because that is, subconsciously or consciously, exactly what she wanted. It's yet another time in her life when she was given the role of the victim, someone persecuted or neglected, and it conveniently absolved her of the need to just leave Project Utopia because she was unhappy there."

I'm calling extra stinky BS here. Dr. McLachlan in no way is that type of person. I can vouch for her character personally. For you to even place those words in the public eye is grounds for libel.

On a side note, why are you being so defensive for PU and T2M, Violette? Didn't they dump you on your ear for the views you take on the Nova condition? Transhumanism if I'm not mistaken... Which, I might add does run counter to what PU has tried and tried again to push down our throats that Novas are no different than Humans.

And you said for me to show my hand. Not bad for one who needs others to fight her battles, as you say...

[Violette 'V' D'Aronique]

Endeavor,

First off, I never said they didn't give her medication.

Second off, you're basically saying that everything that was wrong in her world was Utopia. She admitted already that she felt like quitting when Warlady died. She stayed in a bad sitation of her own choosing.

Third off, I've been in her mind, I've seen her memories. I don't care if you're her friend. I know how she thinks and no testimonial from you is going to change that.

[Wakinyan]

I really hate to say this V since I respect you newfound position in life but you really sound like a Drama Queen who has been upstaged. Your fallout wasn't as spectacular as Regan's so you have to say it is utter bullshit?

Granted maybe Saimhe blew it out of proportion. Maybe details where exaggerated but so what? Who looks at Utopia more negatively here because of this one example? The people who love Utopia here STILL love it. Those who hate it STILL hate it.

Where are you going with this and what do you hope to accomplish?

[Violette 'V' D'Aronique]

Sorry, Totem, doesn't work. I didn't have a fallout. I got no ego to lose here. I left because of one philosophical difference, one of my own making and I've no problem admitting that.

Ms. McLachlan is blaming Project Utopia for her own problems and I'm not standing for it.

[Wakinyan]

You didn't have a falling out? A difference like the one you had with Utopia looks to me very much like a Fallout. I mean hell you pretty much said Mal was ALMOST right on the money. You don't think that pissed some people off in Utopia?

You don't think your leaving was a bigger issue than Saimhe? You are a lot closer to the enemies bed in their eyes than she is. All she has got is a washed up Elite (No offense Singularity). Where are you now what are you doing?

[Violette 'V' D'Aronique]

Read my parting statements again, Totem. You're so off the mark now, your reaching.

And is this now about me? Is the only way you can try drawing attention from this matter by saying, "On yeah, what about you?"

[Wakinyan]

Your parting statement? Why look back only to what you had time to think about what you said. Let's go back to your Zack interview then maybe I am not so far off am I?

Well let's see you basically cut and run from Utopia. You disappear for awhile and then suddenly pop here I am bitching about another former Utopian!

I think it is questionable. I'd hope others see that as well.

[Violette 'V' D'Aronique]

I didn't cut and run. I've been nothing but supportive of Project Utopia during and after my employment. You're attacking me with the wrong weaponry, if that is your intent.

[Ghostwriter]

I've read these posts and would like to thank my friends for defending me, but it's time to speak for myself.

V, Very Bad and Jager, you all have very good and correct points... I think that the Project intended to only keep me medicated until they could figure out a way to help me control my mood swings, or at least to ride with them. I was out of control and have never denied this.

I already knew all of the academic knowledge necessary for a T2M agent... It was the social and physical stuff that I needed to learn. I went too quick now, in more ways than one, and I realise that. I tried to compensate for everything in my life by overworking and overachieving and failed miserably.

I refused leave because at that time, I had the need to learn as much as possible, to avoid standing still and looking at my grief face-on.

I fucked up in more ways than one, people, and I've never denied it. In fact, I take a kind of twisted pleasure in rubbing my own face in my mistakes. I must have a masochistic streak in me somewhere.

I can look at this intellectually now because I've had a lot of time for self-reflection. But the Project is not blameless in this. I think that they were left scrambling after a way to deal with the woman who went from intellectual and passive to feral and aggressive in the matter of a day. Even the most intelligent, quick-witted nova would be spun out by that.

They do censor our opinions though, V, and you know that as well as I do.

I don't deny that a good deal of my life has happened to me by my own choice, whether actively or inactively. Now I'm dealing with everything that's happened.

Just lay off Franklin, people, or I will not be happy.

[The Paragon]

Quote:

Originally posted by Totem:
Well let's see you basically cut and run from Utopia. You disappear for awhile and then suddenly pop here I am bitching about another former Utopian!
I think it is questionable. I'd hope others see that as well.

See what, exactly?
How is this questionable?
V has gained a great deal of renown for speaking her own mind regardless of the consequences. She hasn't shown herself to be overly concerned with what others think about her, either. Why would this time be any different?
She appears to be speaking her mind. Nothing more, nothing less.

By the way, V, good to hear from you again.

[Wakinyan]

I am not attacking you at all. As I said before I respect your transhumanist ideas. I'd hope to aspire to that same ideal.

What I am doing is calling you to task on your own circumstance. You say that you left mutually because of a belief. Your belief runs opposed to Utopia. You cannot argue this. Why? Because if Utopia didn't oppose it there would have been no need for you to leave. Utopia's website always talks about respect of culture and beliefs but obviously not the culture and beliefs of which you have.

With that in mind you can hardly say it was a perfect parting. Otherwise there wouldn't have been a need for you to leave.

[Violette 'V' D'Aronique]

On the contrary, it was a perfect parting. We came to a place where it was time to go our separate ways. The only blame that you can place is with me, for saying what I did in the manner I did. That's it.

Coincidently, Totem, if the best you can do right now is "oh yeah, what about you?" then you're only validating what I've said. If that's your only defense, to try putting me on the defensive instead of proving my points incorrect, you've already lost this.

Saying that, Saimhe has responded and there is no further need for this to continue.

[Singularity]

Quote:

Originally posted by Regan 'Saimhe' McLachlan:
Just lay off Franklin, people, or I will not be happy.

My thanks, but appears they are letting me be (Very Bad notwithstanding). I feel so left out of the loop, I even came out of your corner rather hard.

[Ghostwriter]

Knowing the regulars here, it will continue...

Don't think I was exonerating the Project, V. Pax alone put me through almost as much stress as I faced when dealing with Totem. You know as well as I do that T2M is a high-stress environment and I reacted badly to it.

We can say 'could have' and 'should have' until the cows come home. I fucked up and the Project fucked up.

We made our choices and now we must live with them.

[Wakinyan]

If you say so V. But wether you admit it or not Utopia I would guess isn't any happier about losing you as losing Saimhe. If for no other reason that is starts a trend and as you say Novas are of value to them and they don't want to lose them.

Just to elighten me further do you think they don't have a way to track you through electrical grids? I am sure they know where you have been. To think they don't care is rather foolish. But I am sure you have gone no where that would cause them to question your intentions or require further scrutiny.

[Violette 'V' D'Aronique]

You really enjoy your conspiracy theories, Totem. I'm not surprisingly unthreatened by your insinuations.

I'm sure they also have ways of tracking every teleporter and transmitter that's ever walked into a Rashoud Facility, too. They've got an entire division of people who do nothing more than track the movements of novas unburdened by conventional travel.

Yeah, I'm shaking.

[Wakinyan]

Easier to track a Nova that travels through electrical grids than those who say jump through shadows. Wouldn't you agree? I would say that the occasional fuse you trip when you come home at night is proof enough.

You don't have to buy it V. Doesn't mean it isn't happening.

[Violette 'V' D'Aronique]

Doesn't mean it is, either, Totem. Since you're curious, I've never tripped a fuse. Since you're even more curious, do you think I'm really limited to grids now?

[Wakinyan]

I'll let it go V. But I don't think they have lost interest in you and you shouldnt expect them to.

[Sakurako Hino]

Saimhe...

*sigh*

Nevermind. You stated your peace. I'll honor it.

[ronin]

Hm. Shame I missed the feeding frenzy while the blood was still hot.

[Ghostwriter]

Very funny, ronin.

[Sakurako Hino]

ronin... This isn't the time.