opnet [OpNet] Claws.

[Wakinyan]

Are my claws only meant to steal blood?

I set them to stone to create what I can. But they mock and taunt me knowing they are only meant to be destroyers.

I think I am going mad.

[ronin]

I don't think you're going mad, Totem. You're just becoming something else, something that will likely be the first, possibly the last.

Your nature is such that when you have completed your metamorphosis, you are going to be very lonely. Unless you find somewhere to go that you can reckon your bestial nature with the world around you, it is likely you will eventually be put down.

I'm sorry for that.

[Wakinyan]

I cannot tell you how comforting that is.

Monsters like Charr go around butchering and people shrug and say "What can you do?"

I fight for everyone ounce of sanity I have left. Struggle for control in nearly ever civilized thing I do and I am informed. "Gotta take Ol Yeller out behind the shed and putem down."

FUCK THAT.

[David 'Dr. Troll' Smith]

Quote:

ronin:I don't think you're going mad, Totem...

Quote:

ronin:...You're just becoming something else, something that will likely be the first, possibly the last.

Your nature is such that when you have completed your metamorphosis...it is likely you will eventually be put down.

In other words, YES, he thinks you are on a path to madness.

Fight for your sanity.

[Charr]

Quote:

Originally posted by Totem:
Monsters like Charr go around butchering and people shrug and say "What can you do?"

Who the fuck are you calling a monster, you feather weight little monkey steppin' and fetchin' bitch?

This existential whiney bullshit is why even the worst of the lot figure you for a lost cause, you know. Sure the BSBA pep is hoping to get some good out of you, or at least keeping you from actually do anything meaningful, but even they see what's coming. "Totem. What a nice nova. Too bad we had to put his ass down."

You're driving yourself nuts a little day by day as that part of you that knew just what the fuck it was getting into took a hand in your eruption fights against the monkey toilet training. Conformity thy name is Totem the doomed. The novas that actually buy into that tree hugging circle of life jerk off are the one's that die while farming.

Smile Feather Head. The monkeys are getting the money shot ready.

[Wakinyan]

Don't try to pull that shit on me Charr. We both know damn well what the monster is and you sure fit the bill.

As long as when they put me down I am covered head to tail in your brains, entrails and the fetid shit you call blood. At least then it might be a little more acceptable death, a good death.

[Singularity]

Everyone is going to try to tell you they know the truth behind your situation, Totem. They will make arguments (some compelling, some not) supported with evidence and you might be convinced. But when you boil it all down, no one can forsee your path and destination. Like you, my hands are made for destruction. I can relate, but it does not mean I know you are doomed.

That said, I agree with Doctor Smith: fight it, Totem. Fight for the control of your mind and your body.

[Wakinyan]

You can turn yours off Mr. Alden. What do I do?

[Charr]

Quote:

Originally posted by Totem:
Don't try to pull that shit on me Charr.

I love it when you talk all big and bad, bitch. Going from poor lil' Totem the three ton killing machine begging for everyone to see inside to the beast in only one post. Still doesn't strike you as strange does it? The real you was never very discriminating but I got to give it props for being clever.

You figure as long as the beast gets its blog its doesn't rattle the cage too much, right? Heh. Poor stupid bastard. So how long do you figure you're going to be able to appease the beast with mcnuggests and poki before its stops giving a shit about preserving that facade you're so proud of? have you figured out why everyone looks at you in that big soulful way yet.


Heh.

Tell you what, Feather Weight. Why don't you cruise over to the local Catholic Girls School and put on a show for all the little zippies old enough to breed. Let them climb up there on your back so they can feel something warm under their little plaid skirts. Take 'em up one by one for a thrill ride, baby.

Then come back here and tell me what a good little nova you were. Not a monster at all.

[Singularity]

They are only tools, Totem. Yes, it is easy to harm with your permanent claws but it does not prevent you from learning to carve images into a rock face. It is easier to destroy than it is to create. What makes our self-determination so powerful is the ability to choose to do the harder thing, to turn a block of marble into a sculpture instead of gravel.

Also, do not hold all of your abilities in such low regard. Sure, I am able to stop my bioenergy from enveloping my hands but almost everything I have gained as a nova is focused on destruction or surviving it. But you can create images I can only imagine in my mind, you can inspire awe with your very presence, and I envy your ability to soar above the clouds. We must make do with what our subconscious gave us until we learn how to master ourselves. Please do not forget the positive things you have.

[Wakinyan]

Am I going to master myself or will it master me.

Charr says go with it. I say fuck him and I'll likely die first.

[Bastian]

I have been inside your mind, Totem, and you are not destined toward madness. It may be your choice, but it is not pre-ordained. You have that rage for a reason. Explore it.

Beat any predator long enough, and it will bite you. Cage your passions, and you will find you have made your mind its own prison.

Shape the Rage. Do not let it shape you. You are free, and meant to be that way.

As Ashnod says, do not fear what you are becoming, and make no excuses for it. You are strong. You are passionate. Be that.

[Charr]

So did you manage understand that? Did Bastian manage to get through? Or was the typing lost in the zip...zip...zip buzzing, Feather Weight? Did you need someone to translate it for you as usual?

Not offering as I think its hilarious to watch your twist in the breeze when its your own hand... Paw?... holding the noose. Maybe one of those with the time to waste can give big bird a little cerebral pity nookie but I gots better things to do.

Speaking of better things. There the little monkey bastard is now. Time to give someone a surprise!

[ronin]

Totem.

Unlike you, Charr is in control of himself. You may appraise him a monster, but Charr is a monster with choice. You are losing even your self-restraint, and that is what poses the danger to you.

It isn't a matter of mastering yourself. Master yourself, and you'll simply be a more efficient beast. It isn't difficult to understand, Totem. You're a beast. To fight that is to fight your nature.

Troll.

Don't put words in my mouth again.

Totem isn't going mad. Animals aren't mad; they're animals.

Bastian.

Don't sugar-coat the matter. What you're telling him still boils down to telling him to become a very, very efficient monster, which I confess is preferable to a monster that is easily victimized.

[Machina]

Oh, this is fucking priceless.

Tell you what, Totem. This Christmas, I'm going to hunker down and -- just for you -- fashion from vitrium steel, and large enough to support your massive bulk, a giant cross.

So instead of even bothering to post up your whiny, angsty bullshit, you can simply eliminate the middle man and crawl up on it whenever you feel the need.

God, I'm such a great fucking human being.

[Wakinyan]

When you speak Machina do the words come from your mouth or from your anus? I am sure I have a good bet.

I come here because I think I have friends here. People who are willing not to look down their noses or berate me. Don't bother replying to my posts again.

[Neil Preston]

Totem, you do have friends here, so less worries, okay?

We already know the net worth of anything Charr is going to say, so ignore it.

Machina actually show empathy for a fellow sentient being? Not likely.

As for your claws; have you ever thought about learning surgery? Or, sculpting?

[Ghostwriter]

Honeybunch, I've also been in your mind. I know better than anyone else how deep your instincts are, and how strong they are.

Like it or not, they are part of you, but like everything else, they can be mastered.

Have you ever thought of taking up meditation? Or even just staring at the sky and letting your mind create pictures in the stars and clouds?

As for your claws, try carving. I can teach you how to create woodcuts if you wish, and many forms of traditional printing require carved blocks.

[ronin]

A kept dog is no match for a wolf, Regan.

Totem, spare yourself the arts and crafts. Hone your instincts sharper than your claws and build yourself into a fortress of vascular steel. You'll stand the best chance of survival that way.

[Machina]

I'm afraid that isn't your call, Totem. If you were using the big brain, it might occur to you that all you can do about me is stop talking back. Which you won't, because you're a sniveling attention-slut.

I'd be glad to show empathy, Neil, although the nature of empathy is that of sharing a common sympathetic bond. And since I've never felt like a weak and frightened girl, I'm afraid that I simply can't relate. When Totem starts acting like a man and accepting his lot in life, I'll be the first in line to tip a pint with him over being reluctant monsters. Fuck knows I know all about that.

[Ghostwriter]

I'm not telling him to deny his instincts, ronin, I'm telling him to learn to channel them. I have learnt, better than anyone else here, how powerful those instincts are.

Everyone should have something away from combat and hunting to do. I was merely offering some advice, based on the fact that I was in his mind and experienced his emotions firsthand. When you have shared the same viewpoint, come speak to me about how wrong my advice is.

I know you are combat. But not everyone wants to fight.

[ronin]

I don't need to molest Totem's mind to see the truth about him. I knew it before I was ever in his mind, which I have been.

Generally speaking, I would agree with you that it is in the best interests of any individual to cultivate interests outside of their primary purpose. Totem, however, represents an exception. The time will come when all that remains of his mind is urge, and no amount of macrame and sculpting will do him any measure of good at that point.

That having been said, I take no joy in doing as you have asked me, but I am telling you that your advice is wrong.

It is the lot of some to fight for their lives, and that of others to not fight at all. I would never offer to you the advice I do to Totem. But whether Totem "wants" to fight or not is irrelevant. He has been chosen. He has no choice.

No more than you could choose to be like me.

[David 'Dr. Troll' Smith]

Quote:

Ronin: A kept dog is no match for a wolf, Regan.

First, that isn't exactly true. One got out from the local zoo recently and before it was crushed by a train the zoo keepers pointed out it was small & timid.

Second, in the US there are maybe 500 wolves and 50 million dogs. Which is more successful?

[ronin]

Certainly, Troll, if Totem allowed himself to be yoked to a baseline's whims, he would live longer and more well-accomodated than if he chose to be free. And all he'd have to give up would be his free will. I won't debate that.

Given the choice between obedient domestication and difficult freedom, I chose the latter, and you have opted for the former, at least for now. Totem may naturally have whichever he likes. He simply needs to be made aware of the consequences of the path he chooses.

[Wakinyan]

Quote:

Originally posted by Machina:
I'm afraid that isn't your call, Totem. If you were using the big brain, it might occur to you that all you can do about me is stop talking back.

I will take up this wisdom.

[Charr]

Quote:

Originally posted by Neil Preston:
We already know the net worth of anything Charr is going to say, so ignore it.

Yeah, just ignore me already bitch. Cuz you got friends Toto. You still remember friends right? Sure you do. All the zips are talking about after your heehah hodown are you, your friends and how "Totem sure do know how to treat a friend right".

So what's next on the agenda, Feather Weight. Going to rampage through the neighborhood tearing little zips into two smaller pieces, screw the crack of dawn or let your friends doctor you down into oblivion?

How is that cage holding up?

That Neil. Not the sharpest nova I ever ran into.

[Wakinyan]

Quote:

Originally posted by Charr:
How is that cage holding up?

I dunno Charr... Come a little closer to it and check for yourself.

[Charr]

Quote:

Originally posted by Totem:
I dunno Charr... Come a little closer to it and check for yourself.

I'm closer than you would ever dream Toto but I've already been to the petting zoo.

Thanks.

[Neil Preston]

Why hasn't occurred to anyone else that Totem is unique, just like the rest of us? He isn't a wolf, or a dog, or human in a bird suit. He is Totem.

Step One: Open your mind to the concept that you know nothing about the subject. See him as a brand new canvas.

Step Two: Spend more time looking and listening, less time making assumptions.

Step Three: Learn, and build upon that learning.

[Charr]

Now you're cooking, Whiz Kid. You're still bumping into the last step in the dark and that's the one you always fuck up. Accepting instead of trying to pretend its something else, something more convenient and palatable.

Life's long. You get gets lots of chance. Just not the infinite number you think.

[Neil Preston]

Why? Because I chose to help, rather than hinder? Because I don't jump out at defenseless baselines and torture them? What exactly am I in the dark about?

Remember, keep the words small and the concepts simple.

[Charr]

Okay. Even with an utterly perfect example to work off of you fuck it up. Simple enough for you wizkid?

Typical. Guess that answers the nature versus nurture question once and for all.

[Neil Preston]

So, you blame the Student, and not the Teacher? Even when I ask for a clarification, you are incapable of answering. I wonder why that is?

[Charr]

Because you get the answers to the questions you ask rather than the answer to the question you failed to ask.

Like I said; typical.

[Neil Preston]

Which questoin was -

Okay. Even with an utterly perfect example to work off of you fuck it up.

an answer to?

Why?

Because I chose to help, rather than hinder?

Because I don't jump out at defenseless baselines and torture them?

What exactly am I in the dark about?

I especially love the last one.

What exactly am I in the dark about?

being answered by,

Even with an utterly perfect example to work off of you fuck it up.

If it was a perfect example, how could it be fucked up? Huh? You must have a much lower expectation of what perfect stands for.

Dude, if that's the best you can do, you are indeed safer staying away from intelligent conversations.

[Charr]

Yep.

Going for the pity fuck, huh? 'Kay. I'm feeling pretty good so what the hell. Just a little freebie for the wizkid. The example was perfect. You failed to learn anything from it. Again it was all about you and the patient died.

"Oh gosh, I'm going to argue semantics some more."

Don't bother Stain. The perfect example had nothing to do with your witless wanderings. And yet ronin wonders why I won't generally concern myself with you silly fucks.

Well, not anymore but for a long time he did.

[David 'Dr. Troll' Smith]

Quote:

ronin:
Given the choice between obedient domestication and difficult freedom, I chose the latter, and you have opted for the former, at least for now.

So if I were to run around leveling cities, that would meet with your approval?

Letting my beast free would be the easy choice. Yes, there would be a freedom to not caring about, or understanding, who I hurt. That's always been true, and not only for us novas.

The difficult life is one where you choose to care.

[Neil Preston]

Damn, Charr. What a waste.

You can't seem to explain yourself, or your actions, so we go back to the insults and mockery.

Please, if by all means you don't want to mess with us silly fucks, don't. Keep it all to yourself and leave us alone. You can't teach, aren't willing to learn to teach, and don't seem willing to learn, period.

In case you missed it, this public forum is a place were novas come and to talk, learn, share, and teach.

[Charr]

No, Wizkid. Don't miss you telling this to everyone that'll listen while trying to convince them you haven't just shot a load on each of their faces while doing your "OH!" face either. Your old man is a lot of things but obsessively petulant? Nah, that must be Psycho Mommy's contributions to the mighty mix.

Its just so wicked weepy unfair, isn't it? I understand you being pissed off. Really I do. Don't give a shit but I understand it.

[Neil Preston]

Yadda ... yadda ... yadda.

Still the same old crap, Charr?

-Overt sexual references, insults, and blather.

-No new material, and your worn out dodges.

When did you stop attempting to mean something and become such a flaming troll?

I'm no longer pissed at you, I just find you boring.