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[OpNet] Yeah, I'm a sentimentalist...

Sakurako Hino

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All I have to say, is that seeing recent conversation, I have been assessing on who I am and why I do things.

I've discovered what some would call a flaw, but others would call a stregnth. My connection to my humanity.

While other novas around me lose themselves in their development, I have focussed on what it means to be a Human with powers that I am just now beginning to know the extent.

In the process of that realization, I discovered something about myself. I'm not worried about being a Nova. I take a bus or bike to work every day instead of fly. I haven't used my energy bolts for quite a while. Hell, I haven't even really bothered to overclock the brain with my node.

So, Have I become a wasted Nova? I don't see it that way. I use my powers as a gift to be cherished and not taken for granted. Because at any time this amazing gift could be taken. Yeah, I think it's possible that you could lose everything.

As God gives, so does God take away.

Another issue is the fact that I still consider Humanity my peers and equals. Why I do, I do not see why. Except I empathize with the underdog. It's in my nature.

What I'm trying to get at, is what keeps your faith in what you had been, and gives you a reason to care about something other than being the bigger fish in an ever shrinking pond?

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Well, young one. I think you can grow up when you want to....

Well, I should say ihope you can chose when you wish to change.You will find great wounders, and things that will scare you.that is true with all change.

But if I could do one thing foryou..it would beto show you what you are missing without taking away what you have.

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Such a gracious offer, Senhora Davis, yet one wonders if in not answering the senhorina's question you have, surely without malicious intent, deprived her of some insight.

My dearest Senhorina Hino; the ship of my destiny will always carry with it the anchor of my family as there are duty and obligations greater than those merely to one's self. I must confess as well some abilities, such as my own, do not easily lend one to assuming the mantle of godhood. Such is the way of things.

It is apparent much has changed in this wonderful place since last I visited. To those new to me I offer salutations as equals and future friends. To those more familiar, pray accept my humble apologies for long absence.

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Originally posted by Sakurako 'Endeavor' Hino:

I'm shall we say, little leagues, compared to others. Not to mention my horizons are much closer than yours.
As i said before we live in the world we make. But it is easier to move foward than back....Progress, ain't it great?

I have a gift for you young Lady.. A nice art work of you in your boat.I will give you as soon as I can.
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Originally posted by Doutor da Reducao:
In turn, Senhorina Hino, I find it astonishing that such poor ramblings should be considered enlightening. Gratifying of course but quite astonishing and most kind of you to speak so.
Actually, What I find facinating is your long absence, only to return after a chaotic time in this site's history.

After all, We've changed OpIp's if you noticed.

New digs if you will...

Shoot, I just realized my little guard-dogs aren't watching the new gateway... Excuse me.
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Surely it is merely a coincidence. Perhaps there is some odd statistical correlation along the lines of that oft cited between butterflies and fashion but nothing intentional on my part. A consensual agreement forming the core of the last discussion was entered into requiring my full attention. I can say with no small amount of relief the task is complete and my attention may be turned to other matters.

Undoubtedly the DÆMON provided by my assistants noticed the changes you speak of but I did not. They are quite clever.

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Originally posted by Sakurako 'Endeavor' Hino:
...I have focussed on what it means to be a Human with powers...
Not to continue on an old subject, but this just leaps out at me.

Humans do not have powers.

Therefore your statement is inherently flawed. Now, if you were to say that you were focused on posing as a human, despite having powers, then I would simply read your post looking to see what knowledge your self-deception had brought you. But please, if your going to engage in these little flights of fancy, try at least to create the proper atmosphere for the necessary suspension of disbelief.
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I gotta say that being able to fly kicks the fear of falling all to pieces, or so I am told.

Let me try another approach:

Your human.

You are walking down the street and you are knocked down by some AK-97 (a semi-automatic rifle) toting thug. You have nothing but attitude. He has the gun. What are your options, seriously?

Unless you have a martyr complex, you let it pass.

He have no idea if the gun is loaded, or if the thug is willing to use it. You aren't sure he or she is even a 'thug'.

But ...

They have a gun, and you don't.

Okay, your a "human with powers".

The same situation doesn't come up. Why?

The gun toting thug doesn't dare bump into you.

If you see him/her knock someone down, you can fearlessly intervene.


Because you are a "human with powers."

Your not really human, now, are you?

For a human to intervene, they would have to overcome the fear of pain and death. You do not.

Also, just like the gun-totter weilds fear with the gun, you wield fear with your very existance.

You haven't incinerated anyone in months?

Good for you, but you still can, whenever you want to.

While I admire and support your willingness to live life in the larger social community of humanity, considering yourself just one of the peeps is setting yourself up for disappointment. You are not human on some very fundemental levels. You are a nova.

There is no reason to revel in our differences, but they shouldn't be ignored, either.

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You see, there's the rub, Jager.

I have these abilities, and yet, I don't seem to want or, thank god, need to use them.

I don't know... Perhaps I haven't found a good reason lately...

Perhaps if I take a flight around eastern parts of california... The desert hills out there seem picturesque enough... Perhaps a few moments out there could shed some light on the subject.

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Senhorina Hino, it occurs to me that while you may not feel you need these abilities oft times they remain firmly in your awareness. This is a well in that your potencial destructivo is not insignificant yet it brings questions. Does refraining from doing what you know you could so easily bring a satisfaction to you? Surely you are aware that... How did you phrase it? Ah. To "overclock the brain" would allow greater competance in the fields where excellence is desirable.

Restraint is an undervalued virtue in the modern age, as is understanding.

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Jager not all nova’s are as fearless of guns as you imply. Many of us have abilities that may not exactly be combat useful in terms of defending against such a weapon as you mention.

James … how do you know that humans don’t have powers? Sure it seems like most of them don’t but can we be sure? Given how new and relatively unknown the origins of novas are I don’t feel entirely comfortable with such a blanket statement.

Sakurako, congratulations. I’m glad that you feel the way you mention in your first post here. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Biology is not destiny. Even for us.

And as for "old school" ... don't forget that even old dogs can learn new tricks. Don't be afraid of yourself & your abilities, but do respect them and know your limits. Good luck!

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Sakurako 'Endeavor' Hino:
...I have these abilities, and yet, I don't seem to want or, thank god, need to use them.

I don't know... Perhaps I haven't found a good reason lately...
It sounds like you are afraid to use them. You have had some harsh times recently, associating those with your powers would make sense.

Please don't take this the wrong way, but have you seen a shrink?
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Okay, Meridian, if you can honestly tell me becoming a nova hasn't effected how you see guns and violence in any way, I will accept that.

I never meant to imply that novas are immune to firearms, only that their opinions of baseline violence are altered by erupting.

Arrogance, ego, and conceit are not the same as reality, but they do shape our perceptions of it.

Put it this way, Meridian, before erupting did you ever consider a profession that would put you in such danger? Any danger what-so-ever?

Is your flesh bullet-proof?

Here a scary fact, Meridian.

The flesh of novas is more resistant to bruising, hydrostatic shock, mortification, and the like. We heal faster. Nova rates of cellular decay, anagiesis (the ole bioforms internal clock), regeneration are enhanced ... in all of us.

Barring "accident", novas live longer, healthier lives. This reality does effect our minds, too.

All that 'reality' shapes how novas approach the world. Novas are more confident, they feel more empowered, and they are more aggressive. The baselines you interact with sense that, and react accordingly. It comes from evolving from social creatures, and is part of all our make-ups.

We are not naturally inhuman, super-human, or human ...anymore. What we are is different. How we handle and acknowledge that difference is that's important.

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Before I erupted the only thing that I ever considered being was a basketball player. I loved the game but erupting pretty much closed that door for me.

I was young and never really considered my options before eruption. Who knows what kind of profession I might have ended up in. I was dreaming of the NBA but to this day I don't really know if I had enough talent to make it.

Is my flesh bullet-proof? It wasn't when I erupted. In fact on my first Argus Agency op my non-bullet-proof flesh got torn up pretty good by a gun. Nowadays things are a bit different. There are still guns that will put a dent in me but I am tougher than I was on my E-day.

Look, I've never claimed that novas and humans are identical. I just maintain that there is a balance to be found between exploring our differences and being inflexibly bound by a society built by "non-powered" humans. There are differences but the differences don't necessarily dictate our future both individually and collectively.

As for aggression … well IMO I was *more* aggressive before E-day. In fact taking I’ve only recently realized how passive I’ve been in some respects recently. Confidence isn't the same thing as agression.

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Aggression, as in taking initiative and being active, instead of reactionary.

Not as in being physical or pushing yourself. Still, in a round about way, you got what I meant, I think.

Confident, as in taking your time making decisions about what you are and what you are going to do, because your not as rushed as you used to be. Also, when you take action, you are more sure about what you are doing.

Meridian, do you still feel you are one of the guys? Do you constantly hang out with your old baseline friends? Do you even socialize with them at all?

I am not saying you lost who you were before E-day. I am saying that your eruption has altered you and your perceptions by what you can do and how you feel about that.

Yeah, you got shot up pretty bad. Hospitalized, if my sources are accurate. Yet, you went out and did it again. Good for you.

Now, there are baselines who do the same thing. They get blasted up, hospitalized, and then go back to the job. That isn't unique. The difference is you went out and made yourself more resistant.

How does that make you feel?

Meridian, I don't think we really have many differences. We are both pretty much intouch with the person we grew up as. I also don't think you believe you are just a human with some powers, either.

Endeavor, your great, but you are not human anymore. Saying that you are is putting up some serious mental and emotional roadblocks that just aren't needed. You are a wonderful person. Just accept it. smile

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Alot of stuff to go through, I've been off a couple of days, working on a few projects. And it looks like whenever I'm away things happen.

Doc Troll, to put it mildly, I still do from time to time. We haven't got to the whole "Dealing with being a recently erupted" bit. Although I wouldn't call myself "Recently Erupted".

Jager, It's knowing that you feel that way towards me that gives me some hope I'm on the right side of things. There are very few Novas that I know I can call trustworthy. Thanks at least for the vote of confidence.

Meridian, Thanks for at least travelling the road I'm travelling. At least we are seeing the same landscape.

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Ashnod, this suprises you? wink

Don't worry. Now that your back, I look forward to going back to my obtuse points and arguing them to the verge of extinction. It has always worked for me in the past, right?

In truth, I told you that you didn't know were my soul lay. I had best get back to my obfuscations.

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Ashnod, I would prefer the words coming from you.

I like the breeze, personally, and the leaves are my friends. I would rather be wrong most of the time, than right for the wrong reasons.

Besides, my position doesn't waver, it grows. The difference is that of evolution.

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It's not that I can deal with what I've become, I understand what has happened to me, and quite frankly, I find it quite... Wonderful. It's just that I've not really made my abilities part of everyday life. Call it lazyness I guess... Hey! I've figured out my problem, I'm LAZY! Well... That and I'm still polishing the chrome as it were. Before I start making my abilitys as everyday as breathing, I have to see what I'm capable of first, and learn how I do it. Once I feel that I'm adequately prepared for the consequences that are brought through my use of them, the better off I'll be.

I'm not afraid. I'm just being... Careful.


You know, there is such a thing as a blue moon, it's just rare.

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