opnet [OpNet] Advice?

[Violette 'V' D'Aronique]

I can pretty much guess what all the Terats on the board are gonna say about this, so I'd like to get everyone else's opinion. I also know that this might be read by someone else at Utopia, but I'm too messed up right now to care.

I've just broken up with my boyfriend of five months.

In the beginning, it was really sweet. He didn't seem to care that I was a Nova. I mean, we'd grown up around the same area so we knew a lot of the same people and been many of the same places even though we'd never met each other. He'd read many of the books I had, was going to college to be a linguistic instructor, and overall all was pretty bright.

It was really good for about 3 months. I don't know how much of this was because I was travelling so much, or that we were spending so much time speaking on the phone or sending messages across the OpNet. I spent every waking moment I could with him, ignoring everything else including this place.

After two months, I noticed things were getting different.

Without going into the sorted details of our fights, what it comes down to is that he can't handle that I'm more intelligent and stronger than him, and I can't handle that he isn't on my level. I mean, he's really bright, but I don't forget things, especially things I want to remember. He can read me a list of latin vocabulary words once and I can recall them without fail every time. I already know more about the language than he does and he's been studying it longer, and I've only been observing him. If we go jogging (or any activity really) he's always going to get tired first. This makes sex, if this isn't TMI, pretty damn boring. There are times I want hot steamy sweaty nookie where I'm left panting and exhausted and it's never gonna happen with him. We've tried various ways, positions, techniques, but, damnit I know this makes me sound slutty, but it wasn't enough! God, vanilla seems a bad word but vanilla is the kindest thing I can say about it.

I thought about it, and the problem isn't him. It's me. I'm expecting too much. I'm wanting more than he is or what he can give me. Now, what concerns me is that I don't think, short of another Nova, I'm gonna find the qualities in someone I'm looking for. But that sounds so...I dunno, I guess TERAT is the word.

I guess I'm looking for advice from other Novas involved with baselines who've had similar problems with their lovers and how they've overcome them, cause I'm drawing a huge fricking blank here.

[Centipede]

Some novas can repress their nodes, 'dorming down', effectively inhibiting most of their superhuman abilities.

If you can learn to do this, prehaps you would be able to interact with baselines on a more equal level.

I can 'dorm' but have no experience with problems like yours. I haven't had sex since before my eruption and have had few prolonged social contacts with baselines.

[David 'Dr. Troll' Smith]

Enhanced intelligence is probably the most distancing power for social (baseline & nova) relations. It will always be a problem.

IMHO, where you got into trouble was with competing with your honey. It sounds like your man (x-man?) put a lot of his selfworth into his mind (etc) and he just couldn't compete.

It is a bit (but only a bit) easier for male novas, because our culture says that we males are supposed to be dominate (thus I don't need to find a woman who can juggle tanks).

Advice: This wasn't the man for you. But other baseline men might be, if they define themselves in an area where you can't just crush them.

Various arenas: Money (finance), Politics, Command (military or business), Social Relations (Blue blood, Teachers, etc).

[Meridian]

Well I have to say that I didn’t get the whole nova intelligence package nor have I had a serious relationship with a baseline like you have since my eruption … but what I have had is a serious relationship with another nova.

It is simply awesome.

Sex with another nova is … well lets just say that the troubles you mention aren’t usually a problem.

That said some of the issues you ran into can still crop up. My SO can do lots of things I can’t. I have a few gifts that she doesn’t but overall I would have to say that when the quantum cookies were being handed out she got a few more chips in hers than I did. The flip side is that she never had the kind of education I did and didn’t get the gift of quantum intelligence or skills at eruption. So in the end we both have our strengths and weaknesses and we don’t let them get in the way.

But we could have and it is a problem that could potentially come up again even with a nova partner. What happens when you find that special nova someone and while he is stronger than you he still just isn’t as smart or vice versa?

Dorming down is a way to more easily interact with normal folks but it isn’t a cure all. The real solution is simply to find someone you are more compatible with. They may be a nova or may not. Keep an open mind. Relationships are kind of like going to a library or bookstore. The first few books you pull off the shelf are not likely to be the perfect one you were looking for no matter how good that cover looked.

[Sandy Davis]

Now, as for what I can sya.The fact that "baselines" as not as strong or smart as novas, is not the real problem, at least for me. I mean they are also factors, at least the strong part for me, but me, it would be the fact that I could have anyoen one I wanted.No, do not get me wrong, this is a bad thing. I mean poeple if I show them wha tI trulely am, will ..Well I have some what of an Indea syndrome effect on people.

I stoped shwoing people what I turely look like long ago.It was something hard for me to do, but in the end it is better for everyone.I do not like having people judge me based on the ..I do not have the words for it, but I would rather have poeple hate me for what I do,and say, than love me for what I am.

THat was part of a entery made by Sandy Davis, she was talking to her Aunt. I did a bit of editing, to take out content of Dr.Davis.Wile still holding true to it's intent.

[Lemmy Chillmeister]

Shit. Sounds pretty tough. Wish I could hit ya with a magic wand and all, but I can't. I also don't know what to say that might help. I'm not well read, but I ain't stupid, so I get the difference between me and a smartie nova. I've talked with a few and I've always felt like, well, everything they said was being translated in their heads before they said it. Kind of like they were thinking in Nova and having to transate into dummy. That ain't fun and the BF probably got it.

I don't have a regular girl. In fact, the whole groupie thing has gotten kind of boring. Same reason. I can hammerfuck my way through a dozen girls and it ain't enough. Don't know why. Probably just as frustrated as you. I've heard about novas who can, hell, replace sex I guess. Like their powers and their nodes become their new happy parts. Haven't figured that one out yet. Maybe that'd help you.

Sorry that you're hurting now. That suggestion about learning to dorm down though? Fuck that one right out. Why should you lessen what and who you are to make someone, anyone, happy?

[Jager]

Violette, don't worry about it as much as you are. Acknowledging that novas are different from baseline humans isn't the same as being a Terat. Novas can and often do lead larger, fuller lives.

Do you have any female novas friends? Have a girl's night out at a convient nova club. Live it up. Delve into your wants and desires.

Don't forget who you were, find out who you are, and explore who you want to become.

[Vixen]

I wish I could give you some advice, V, but the unfortunate thing is that I haven't had a romantic relationship, ever. During my time in the wheelchair I was too focused on work, and right now... well, I'm getting all kinds of offers but most of them are along the lines of "ooh, those big furry boobies really turn me on."

I guess I'm used to being on a different 'plateau' in terms of ability. Before, I was a bit below, and now, I'm a bit above. (According to some, a lot above.)

I guess what I'm trying to say is, it'll take a little time, but I'm sure that eventually you'll find your place with regards to how you relate to both baselines and other novas.

And if you want some hard statistics, well: a potential nova suitor would have to be a million times better than a baseline one, to account for the reduced pool to choose from. So don't get TOO picky.

[Violette 'V' D'Aronique]

Centipede: Well, forgetting for the moment that I really can't dorm down, I find that solution horrifying. Basically what it is saying is that I can't relate to a guy if he's a baseline unless I turn off what makes me a Nova.

Meridian: Yeah, I've thought a lot about hooking up with a Nova guy. But that is what's concerning me. I mean, what does it say if I can't be happy unless my lover has a Node too?

Dr. Troll: I'm worried that even if the guy didn't feel I was crushing him, that I'd still feel that he wasn't living up to what I expect in a boyfriend.

Jager: But isn't saying that we are different from baselines essentially what the core of the Null Manifesto is?

Lemmy: Sounds like you might have a bit of my problem. At least in the libido.

Thanks everyone for trying to help me out. It's really appreciated.

[Cody]

Totally off-topic: why the hell would anyone want the ability to shut down their node? It's got to say something about a man's mind that he'd erupted into the nova age but still want to be "normal". Don't know what, but its got to say something.

On topic: Miss Violette I've stayed off this just 'cause I don't have any good advice for you. All I can say is that I know the feeling of finding them you were comfortable around not such a good fit any more. You might give some nova fellah a try and see what fits best.

It don't make you a bad person to need something more than a particular man can give. It just means, in as many ways as he was right for you, he was wrong for you. Maybe it just took erupting and a good long look to see that.

[Jager]

No, V. The core of the Null Manifesto is that baseline society's laws, customs, and ethics do not apply to novas.

Or, from HIS own mouth:

"Regulations and laws enacted for the good of Homo Sapiens are too easily subverted and misinterpreted to abuse the rights of novas, who are required by destiny to attain their full potential - a goal impossible while abiding by strictures set by beings who are not one's peers and who can not accurately judge what is "ethical" or "moral" for anything other than their own species."

-Divis Mal, "The Null Manifesto (2005)

There is a BIG difference between believing that novas and baseline humans are different, and believing that novas are not a part of human society and civilization.

Strangely enough, Teras and the Michaelite philosophy are rooted in the same belief structure. That novas are TOO different for their to be harmony between them and baseline humanity.

[Jager]

In answer to Cody's off-topic question:

Let's say a goodly number of folks are looking for anyone emmitting quantum with foul intent about them. Dorming down hides that.

Likewise, it allows some novas to escape some of the ravanges of accumulated taint ... for a time.

There is a whole other class of nova out there that most never hear about. While we got the Thouroughbred from the Quantum Genie, they got tail end (from a purely superficial and power-concious perspective). For them, dorming down may be the only way for them to preserve any kind of 'normal' life with their loved ones.

Never forget that you are blessed.

[Ashnod]

Off-topic, and I apologize for posting here when you asked for non-Terat opinion but I felt I must address something.

Jager,

How fascinating. You say that the MANIFESTO doesn't express that Novas are different from baselines, but then quote a section that postulates why baseline law doesn't apply to Novas. If we aren't different, as Ms. D'Aronique was asking, then that entire passage becomes meaningless.

Exemption from baseline legislation is one of the ramifications of the Manifesto's message, but it isn't the only one.

We are beyond baseline comprehension...Perhaps there are some Novas who prefer to stay with the baseline herd for the warmth it provides. I say obtain warmth from your equals. Humans don't require the companionship of monkeys, and likewise, Novas don't require the companionship of baselines. We are destined to make a strange and terrible journey, and we cannot do this alone.

-Divis Mal, 2005

[Jager]

Ashnod, were did I say that? The Manifesto does state that Novas are different from baselines.

I don't believe Mal is God, or even a prophet from on high. I doubt things he says as being the absolute truth.

[Violette 'V' D'Aronique]

Cody: Well, I was already a Nova when I met him, though? How would erupting make me see him differently? I wouldn't be the same person if I'd met him back then.

Jager & Ashnod: Um...yeah. Ashnod's take on this is a little more at what I was looking at. The problem I'm having is that if we are really that much different than "normal" people, then we're just part of their society cause we haven't found good enough reason to leave it and build our own. It doesn't matter if we believe it or not.

I don't know. I'm probably just trying to work out my frustation at this and making more out of it than there is.

Again, thanks for trying everyone.

[Ashnod]

Jager.

By Violette 'V' D'Aronique: Jager: But isn't saying that we are different from baselines essentially what the core of the Null Manifesto is?

Then by you:

No, V. The core of the Null Manifesto is that baseline society's laws, customs, and ethics do not apply to novas.

The core of the message is that we are different. The result of the message is that laws, customs, and ethics don't apply.

[Meridian]

To accept that novas are different does not mean that novas need to exist outside of non-nova society. I have to agree with Jager. The idea that novas were different was around before Mal made his infamous speech.

Ashnod I’ve heard you talk about nova’s never being human since they must have been ‘latent’ novas before eruption. But where do you draw the line? I must have inherited my ‘nova latency’ from my parents. So are they latents too? Pre-latents? Normal humans? Even biologically it seems to me that it’s pretty hard to draw a line in the sand where novas begin and baselines end.

[Violette 'V' D'Aronique]

Please move the Null Manifesto conversation off my thread. I know I kind of encouraged it but it's not what I want to talk about here.

[David 'Dr. Troll' Smith]

Quote:

Violette 'V' D'Aronique:
I'm worried that even if the guy didn't feel I was crushing him, that I'd still feel that he wasn't living up to what I expect in a boyfriend.

From what you said, he wasn't living up to what you expect in a boyfriend.

To be brutal (I'm good at that); he broke up with you. How long before you would have broken up with him?

[Stigmata]

Yeah, I've had a similar problem. I met a guy a few years back named John Wayne, yeah, no fucking joke, that's his name. So when Florida Keyes(that's me),or rather ridiculously named youth #2,met Johnny, there was instant chemistry.

We had so much in common but with enough differences to really keep it interesting. He taught me most of the fundamentals of body art, we opened Modern Primative together and I worked as his apprentice for a while. Eventually though it just got to hard on him. I had a perception that he just couldn't even fathom. When I started doing my bloodwork, he really cracked. He would never admit it, but I know he was jealous. It was like all the ideas that he had had before but never knew how to make real I could do, and he couldn't. He would never say anything, but it just became more evident as I improved. I know he hated that he felt this way, but it really did make the relationship impossible. Sex was never an issue, sure he tired so quickly, but I loved him, so I overlooked it. Anyways,he moved to New York, and I'm still in Michigan.

He has been the only baseline that I have ever met that has not acted like I had kooties. So I don't think another baseline relationship is even an option.

Sorry V, this isn't advice or anything, I just thought you might feel better if you knew that someone else had a similar problem at one time.

But if you ask me, relationships are overated. Too much shit to deal with, no matter who you're dating.

[Violette 'V' D'Aronique]

Thanks for sharing, Stigmata.

[Agnelli Celeste]

Hey V, I am not really looking for someone lik this..But I do not think I could go with a baseline. As well, right now I can break baseball bat with the same ease I used to rip paper apart. WIle I am good at keeping that from breaking people hands when i shake them, I am thinking that when well, things get hot and sweat..I may slip,and someoen may wind up really hurt.

Now, as for the other things.Well, I can't say.I am not the smartest nova.I mean I think faster than I used to, but it is kinda like I just react faster,and not always better.So I think i could take a speed test better,I do not think I would be much better in the long run.

[Violette 'V' D'Aronique]

Agnelli,

So, you wouldn't be able or willing to date a baseline either? Hmmm.

Can no-one give me an example of how they've overcome this? For the most part, the only advice anyone has been able to give me is date a Nova.

[Agnelli Celeste]

V I am saying that having sex with a base line is riight out for me.It would be too risky.

[The Paragon]

I thought about it, and the problem isn't him. It's me. I'm expecting too much. I'm wanting more than he is or what he can give me. Now, what concerns me is that I don't think, short of another Nova, I'm gonna find the qualities in someone I'm looking for.

That is the essence of your dilemma, V. You want someone to compete with, and challenge, you.

Let's see; you are both physically more powerful than any baseline human. Your intellectually capacity is also greater. You feel that you can only be satisfied by someone who is your equal.

You feel bad about this. You shouldn't. It is natural for men and women to seek out those who have traits similar to their own. People who compliment them.

You have set the standards of the type of person you want to be with, and now, after looking at them, you feel like what? A bigot?

You shouldn't. You are doing the exact same thing as your ancestors have done for millions of years. After all, you wouldn't expect your ex-boyfriend to start dating someone with a 3rd grade education, overweight, with bad teeth and no sense of manners, would you? He, too, wants someone on his level or better than himself. Someone who challenges him to do better. It is only human.

Not every nova should, or even wants to, match themselves up with another nova. You are making an individual choice. It isn't a bad thing. It is just who you are. This doesn't make you a terat, or a teras sympathizer.

If you become angry that another nova is dating a baseline human, then you might need to worry.

[Cody]

Quote:

Originally posted by Violette 'V' D'Aronique:
Cody: Well, I was already a Nova when I met him, though? How would erupting make me see him differently? I wouldn't be the same person if I'd met him back then.

No you wouldn't and that's the truth of it. I just think we grow into things. Sometimes we're ready and waiting for them to happen and only need the chance. Other times our life changes and it takes time to gather ourselves up and go on.

[Violette 'V' D'Aronique]

Paragon,

When I originally read your post, I felt a little better about myself. When I read it again, I reconsidered. My standards, as you put it, require someone to have different genetics than 99% of the population of the planet. I don't feel this is a matter of "there are other fish in the sea" as it is "fishing in entirely the wrong ocean."

Thank you for saying what you did though. I'm gonna have to dwell on your words for a while and see how I feel later.

[Walker]

V,

Maybe your fishing with the wrong objective in mind? Perhaps you should be putting your catches back in the sea?

But then I agree with Stigmata's view so my advice would be pointed at avoiding the potential for pain and hassle while still having the fun. Guess I'm just a free loving space hippy at heart.

In the respect of baseline nova relationships the universe is likely to be cruel in that area. Look at it this way, one of my baseline associates always greats me with something along the lines of, 'You're looking as young as ever'. I've known this guy for years, in chronological terms we are the same age but he looks in his late 30's and Istill look in my mid 20's. We make a joke of it, i normally tell him he's looking as stoned as ever or something but I think deep down we both really know what it means; one day he'll be 80 and I'll still be in my mid 20's.

Actually I'm probably depressing you even more so I'll shut up.

[Prof. Sydney 'Photon' Holland]

V,

Be glad you still have the choice to get into a relationship. Eruption took that choice away from me. Granted, I don't miss it all that much, having no sex drive of which to speak of, but unless I find someone who for some bizarre reason is completely identical in capabilities to myself (and I'd never wish that upon anyone in this world), I will never be able to have any sort of physical relationship. You merely have to focus your search for a relationship to a one-in-a-million minority group.

Just letting you know, there's always someone who has it worse than you.

[Violette 'V' D'Aronique]

Hey Professor,

Isn't it possible that you could have some kind of relationship with another energy being? I mean, there's got to be some kind of charge or buzz when energy fields overlap.

An idea anyway. If we're capable of everything the scientists say we are, there should be a one in ten-million minority for you somewhere.

[Jager]

Walker, you are a wet blanket.

V, if you want, I can give you the locations of some Elite hot spots for clubbing and the like. If nothing else, break-up sex is the best. Besides, most of these guys and girls aren't into long term commitments and they should definitely meet your physical requirements.

Yes, its a bit shallow, but it also just might make things clearer in the morning (or whenever you finally wake up).

[Jordan]

V hon, give the Baselines some credit and a fair shake. While I can't vouch for a long term relationship as I have yet to have one last longer than about 10 months, the one thing I do understand is sex.

I think it's utter bullshit when Novas moan and complain about Baselines not being able to keep up with them sexually. While it's true that 90% of us can "Hammerfuck" ( as Lenny so elloquently put it) our way through a bus load of Baselines before getting our rocks off, so you have to get more "creative."

How well do you know yourself V? How well do you know your body, what turns you on and gets you hot? Did you communicate that to your lover? We change when we erupt. Something that might have stimulated you in the past might not stimulate you now. More than likely there are things you have yet to discover that will put you into sexual orbit, you just have to experiment and play to figure out what they are.

The other thing to remember is that if you try to go for a quikie with a baseline lover you will be disapointed. They just don't have your stamina. So make a day of it. Take the time to teach your lover what he needs to do give you that orgasm. Also remember that the average guy only needs about 20 minutes or less to recharge before being ready for the next round and I can think of plenty of ways to keep my man busy in that time.

To be honest, some of the best sex I've had since my eruption has been with Baselines. I like to take my time and enjoy the whole experience and most Novas I meet tend to be too self absorbed to worry about the enjoyment of the person they're with. Just remember, you only get out what you put in in any situation, that includes sex.

[Cody]

Re: Mr. Rossi

You know I started smoking when I was 14. I know that doesn't sound like it has anything to do with the conversation but listen for a spell and I'll get you there.

Anyhow, by the time I turned 16 I figured out that I needed to quit that nasty habit. Cold turkey sucks but lots of folks were willing to give me a hand at it by telling me what worked for them. One guy, a friend of my uncle's, had this long drawn out method that sounded like the most idiotic thing I'd ever ehard. Since it was a happy little conversation between friends I had no problems telling him what I thought of it and why it wouldn't work for me. He spent the next hour explaining his fool theory to me and couldn't "get" why it wouldn't work for me.

His problem was that he couldn't believe that deep down we're all NOT identical. He really believed that it worked for him so it should work for everyone. And if it didn't work then there must be something wrong with me.

You get the point here? Like a lady said, "Do what you do and ain't nobody got to like it but you". Flip side of that is trying to tell the world how to get it's rocks off is like teaching a fish the "right" way to swim.

I ended up going cold turkey BTW. Worked best for me.

[David 'Dr. Troll' Smith]

Quote:

Cody:
I ended up going cold turkey BTW...

Ditto. Seven or Eight times. I didn't manage to quit until I erupted.

RE: Jordan.
Meaning that a big enough handycap can even out the game.

[Dane]

Quote:

Originally posted by Prof. Sydney 'Photon' Holland:
V,

Be glad you still have the choice to get into a relationship. Eruption took that choice away from me. Granted, I don't miss it all that much, having no sex drive of which to speak of, but unless I find someone who for some bizarre reason is completely identical in capabilities to myself (and I'd never wish that upon anyone in this world), I will never be able to have any sort of physical relationship. You merely have to focus your search for a relationship to a one-in-a-million minority group.

Just letting you know, there's always someone who has it worse than you.

If that is troubling you I'd love to look into your "state", hell, I'd love to look into it anyway. It surprises me that I haven't thought of this before, it seems that we are basically manipulating the same energies, but maybe the manner in which we do so works in different ways.

I think it would benefit both of us and allow us to gain a greater mastery over our abilities. Hell, it may even resolve some of the "problems" affiliated with your state.

[Prof. Sydney 'Photon' Holland]

Quote:

Originally posted by Jack Black:
If that is troubling you I'd love to look into your "state", hell, I'd love to look into it anyway. It surprises me that I haven't thought of this before, it seems that we are basically manipulating the same energies, but maybe the manner in which we do so works in different ways.

As I stated above, my lack of any real sex drive (and after the last conversation I had on that topic, I'm still no closer to finding how much of it is psychological blocking of it) means that that particular aspect of a relationship no longer really worries me. Besides, the up-sides to having a non-organic body far outweigh the negatives, in terms of capability and utility. I was never particularly sexually active in the first place, it's not like I know what I'm missing out on.

Quote:

I think it would benefit both of us and allow us to gain a greater mastery over our abilities. Hell, it may even resolve some of the "problems" affiliated with your state.

It may at that. As an old song used to say "Even scientists say everything's just light". The other possibility is that if I ever do get into a relationship, and this proves to be a sticking point, there are many technological tools that could very easily be adapted to assist. Ever heard of "Telepresence Drones"? Given a sturdier frame, a customised interface, and, err, the necessary attachments, it could solve the problem quite nicely.

Just because I'm physically untouchable, doesn't mean that I'm not creative enough to find other solutions. Just that, frankly, I've yet to find anyone (or thing) that has awoken whatever latent sex drive I may or may not possess...

[Jager]

Doc, your a great guy, but take some advice on this matter:

You exist. You're touchable. It just takes the right approach.

[David 'Dr. Troll' Smith]

Quote:

Prof. Sydney 'Photon' Holland:
...Just that, frankly, I've yet to find anyone (or thing) that has awoken whatever latent sex drive I may or may not possess...

I haven't tried it myself, but Telepathy might be worth a go. ...although it kind of restricts who you try it with.

[Cody]

Quote:

Originally posted by David 'Dr. Troll' Smith:
Ditto. Seven or Eight times. I didn't manage to quit until I erupted.

Once in a while I missed it so much my teeth hurt with the craving. But the feeling of pain from wanting and not getting was enough to make sure I never lit up again.

That's what I mean about folks being different. I craved it but never missed it. It was the ache my mind remembered more than the smoke.

[Violette 'V' D'Aronique]

Okay. I know I'm opening an even bigger can of worms here, but...

Apep, Ashnod, Bastion, Prodigy, and any other of the declared Terats out there want to give me their opinion now?