[Fiction] Reflections on Ideals

[z-Sean McCline]

Purity

That ineffable quality of wholesome simplicity and innocence; the quality of being pure. Sean had had it once, a long time ago. He sought it again, knowing he'd never have it.

Justice

To be morally righteous in word and deed; to uphold what is fair. At one point, Sean could remember doing just that, but the cruelty that he'd been shown had come to fester in his heart.

Honor

To have personal integrity; to have a good name and reputation. Sean had squandered his years ago in caprious abandon.

Can I be better? he wonders, staring up at the Chicago skyline. Can I be the man I should be? Or will I always be doomed to failure?

Sean understood where this self-doubt was coming from; he had a chance to change, and he was afraid. He was afraid to try and fail.

Singularity had been unable to advise him on whether he should go through with it. Each man makes his own path to redemption. I can't tell you if this is what you need or not. Sean could almost hear the ex-elite's calm voice has he had read the PM.

Sean sighs. What it came down to is that all of his reasons for not doing it would only come into play if he did do it. In other words, he was damned if he did, and probably damned if he didn't. "That's not new for me," he grins up at the stars.

"Fuck it," Sean suddenly laughs. "The worst I can do is fail. I oughta at least try." But Sean is wrong: failure is not the worst thing he will face.