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About z-Shane O'Neally

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  1. The great wolf lay on his side, dead to all visual senses until an ear twitched or his side heaved in a great sigh. The spirits of the Hisil gave it wide berth, despite the lack of concern the uratha was giving his atmosphere. Normally, that was sure death to one of the forsaken children of Luna in the spirit world. But several spirits, large and strong despite the weird wavering of their bodies, glared menacingly at any spirits who dared to come to close to the great wolf. He was called Drunk Since Sunday by the spirits and so that was his deed name. The wolf wasn’t sober enough to realize he had a deed name. Any time he started to come out of his stupor, a touch from one of the alcohol spirits put Drunk right back under the haze of intoxication. He was their meal-ticket, their perpetual source of spiritual sustenance. The spirits had only had food like this once before, when the overpass in the other world had become home to alcoholic vagrants. They had been strong in that time. Drunk was feeding them better than that time, and they were loath to lose him, either to himself or others. The werewolf heaved himself to his feet, swaying a bit. The spirits hovered close, worried until they heard his stomach growl. Though he swayed and wove an zigzag across the Hisil, the wolf was hungry enough to go seeking water and food. The alcohol spirits followed closely, their eyes sharp where his was bleary. He didn’t spot the squirrel-spirit; they did. He didn’t catch it, not until they hounded it until it was out of essence and exhausted. He ate in several quick bites before staggering over to the nearby source of water. Then it was back to the spiritual representation of the overpass where the alcohol spirits crowded close. The werewolf slipped back into the bliss of oblivion with a relieved sigh; memories had already started to haunt him – that and the ghost. She hounded him all the time, but being a wolf and being drunk both helped to keep her at bay. If only he were stronger. The thought, the only truly coherent one in his head, taunted him as he sank into himself. If only he’d been strong enough to survive her death. If only he’d been strong enough to survive her ghost. He had things worth living for – a sister, he vaguely remembered that. There were other women, too. He’d met one at a grocery store and she’d wanted to help him. But somehow, he’d gotten into the hisil and then he found peace here. It was easier to die in slow pieces here, than to get up and fight. So much easier, and so Shane O’Neally slept and dreamed of a better past.
  2. From the expression on his face August could tell that he was struggling with the concepts she was revealing. He did understand what the chain meant but he had no idea why it was there. The only thing he did knew was this huge feeling of regret and guilt he felt for the loss... and the knowledge of being responsible for her death. “But I love her...”, he answered. “I just can’t stop loving her...”. He felt powerless and frustrated. Why was this haunting him? He already felt guilty for killing her. If he could he would trade places with her and be dead instead of her. She didn’t deserve this and he surely didn’t deserve living. He was a fucked up Werewolf... a Werewolf in denial most of the time and he didn’t know where to run anymore.
  3. Shane had expected to be assaulted by Declan by now but instead the Vargr showed something like compassion... or understanding. Both things Shane wasn’t much acquainted with. He blinked a few times before he focused back on August and then repeated what he just said? “Chain?” It was difficult to picture since he couldn’t see Lilly’s Ghost. “I only want to see her again and tell her how much I love her... I want to understand what happened.”, although August had already very much solved the puzzle he still refused to acknowledge that he had his first change when they had married... the thought was just terrifying because it implied so much more. You’re a murderer... you killed your own wife. The woman you loved above all. More than your own life. Shane stared at August, frozen in his last thoughts. No matter how he tried to explain this, it came down to one thing. He killed her. He was a monster.
  4. Shane swallowed mirroring August’s response. He still gave Declan a suspicious look but decided to keep things the way they were. She was in charge of this ‘thing’ and he was just glad that someone decided to listen instead of running away. “Alright...”, he started looking around again to make sure no one else was eavesdropping. “I... ran away from my family.”, he started nice lie, Shane... Although it wasn’t so far fetched from a certain point of view. “There was always trouble and I wasn’t really in agreement with my folks... so I ran away. For some time things seemed to be ok. I got a job as a mechanic, fixed cars at a car-stop – live was good. Then I met Lilly.”, he stopped for a moment as he remembered their first meeting. She was so incredibly beautiful in his eyes... and she didn’t run away. “People normally stay out of my way... it’s hard to explain – it’s always been like that.”, he shrugged but deep inside he knew the reasons all too well. “Lilly didn’t run away. She stayed... she stayed and listened. I was already in love with her. It didn’t take as much as a glance and... well. I love her.”, he bit his lower lip knowing that he was slowly getting to the unpleasant part of his story. “We made plans, save some money, get married in Vegas and start a new live. I never felt happier before... but then...”, he took a deep breath. “I was getting nightmares. Disturbing nightmares... and sometimes I woke up... outside... sweating all over. I don’t know if I was sleepwalking or anything. Fortunately Lilly didn’t take notice or she never told me she knew...”, August could tell that he was getting increasingly uncomfortable. His calm voice was gaining a certain edge, as if he was running out of breath. “The night of our wedding... it’s a total mess... I... I can’t even remember how we got there. I had this feeling of being watched and... hunted... that’s all I can tell. I still have the certificate in my truck, so we must’ve signed it but what happened next is... is like something out of my nightmares. I still wake up staring at my hands and I swear they’re full of blood... her blood.”, he knew he killed her. His eyes rested on hers searching for understanding, for something that gave away that she already knew what he was about to say. “I’m... I’m a...”, he couldn’t say it. He knew about the oath... and he had no idea if August was one of the people or not. Declan might’ve been, something about him told him he knew what was going on, what he was but he couldn’t word it. As far as he was concerned this could be a test of some kind... and if he failed his elders would simply kill him. Maybe he should take the risk? Then it would all be over. Hell, why not? They already took everything from me, what can I lose? Suddenly his expression changed and he took a deep breath before he spoke. “I’m a Werewolf... and I can’t remember what happened that night.” Now strike me down whoever is watching. I’ve said it – game over.
  5. Something about Declan managed to cut directly through Shane’s booze-induced haze. A very immediate sensation which almost instantly sobered him up causing a terrible headache in its wake. Shane blinked a few times as his vision refocused but Declan had already moved out of way but remained within reach. His instincts told him what the other wolf was saying non-verbally. Shane’s handsome face and open smile faded as he settled his eyes back on August. There was a serious threat in shape of Declan now and it wasn’t like he was scared of Declan or afraid getting into a brawl. His presence just changed the nature of this meeting, whether August wanted it or not. “I wish I could just tell what happened...”, Shane started slowly as he looked over to Declan. The other man would hear his story and part of him didn’t like this... but he was here and August said she’d try to help and if he wanted to get out of this downward spiral he had to start accepting help. Shane’s eyes looked into the distance as he recalled that fateful day. His voice was soft and distant tinged with regret. “I... Lilly and I.”, he broke off again and looked at Declan. God, why is this so fucking difficult! “You can see her?”, he opted to change subjects. He needed to know something else first, before he decided to trust not only her but Declan, too. “You’re some kind of... Medium?”, Shane wasn’t unaware of the Supernatural although he had preferred if his live was entirely devoid of it. He was sure he would be a happier person today if there were no Uratha, Vampires, Mages and whatever other supernatural creature existed out there. Why not Ghosts? He knew about Spirits so Ghosts weren’t too far off from that. He nodded at Declan while he was waiting for her answer. “He’s not just your friend, isn’t he?”, there was no accusation or aggressive undertone in his voice but Shane had gone from being desperate to alert and cautious. This whole thing could also be a set-up from his tribe. An attempt to reign him in again and tell him stories about things he had little knowledge of. Or maybe he was just getting paranoid...
  6. There was a brief look of surprise on his face and then he realized what she meant. He must've been smelling worse than he was aware of. The booze had dulled his senses which was actually what he wanted to achieve - a numbed state which made things less painful, less desperate but to her he must've been not better than the bum down the street in the slums. Shane didn't want to be thought of like a hobo... but he had to admit, he looked like one, he smelled like one and currently he even felt like one. "I'm sorry.", he apologized his eyes glued on hers as he absorbed everything she said like a sponge. He did realize she was about to introduce him to her friend, probably her boyfriend or someone real close. A protector of some sort, that's what he would've done in her place. Shane had no intentions of starting a fight whatsoever so he tried to be as calm and relaxed as possible despite the anxiety of being close to her. He removed his eyes for the first time from her beautiful face to look at Declan and looked the other man straight in the eyes. There was no challenge in his look but Declan could tell that Shane wasn't afraid of getting into a fight. Something about his general posture and the lack of blinking gave away such things. Shane was a Rahu and he only knew violence. Problems always got solved through violence... at least as far as he could remember. It was that part that any human would've lacked and it had acquired another quality. He had nothing to lose. Shane had the look of someone who was seeking death - a death he couldn't bring upon itself since he was too proud to commit suicide - so his only other option was to die fighting... or drink himself to death if he didn't stop this habit anytime soon. "I'm Shane. Shane O'Neally. Nice to meet you?", he raised an eyebrow not knowing what to expect from the other man. Probably a fist straight to his face. It wouldn't have surprised him if he was honest but he was probably making things up. The booze had already taken its toll on him. Something inside of him had already died and he was struggling...
  7. ok - I managed to get one part of my sheet fixed. I'm working on a solution for the rest, hopefully something useful comes up these days.
  8. The last two weeks had been hellish. Shane had no idea where to stay in L.A. and his only connection was that woman he had bumped into earlier who had a striking similarity to Lilly. Ever since he met her his nightmares got worse and he felt constantly observed. His shoulders ached as if he was carrying an impossibly heavy load and he was slowly running out of money. Holmby Park was easy enough to find and he could park his truck within range of sight which was a bonus in his book. Everything he owned was inside that vehicle – his entire life which was sadly a total mess. If this meeting would end up badly he was really screwed and he had soon given up hope finding his sister in this moloch of city. Everything has gotten so impossible recently... He took another sip from his flask which was filled with Tullamore Dew, his favourite whiskey and tried to calm down his anxiety. Just thinking about meeting her again send spikes of adrenaline through his system and he found himself constantly thinking about her despite his nightmares. Ironically he didn’t knew her real name, only that she wasn’t Lilly... obviously. And there she was. Apparently she had come with a friend which he totally understood but now she seemed to leave said friend behind and walk over to him. Shane nervously looked down and stared at his hands feeling suddenly very uncomfortable. He wasn’t sure why he was feeling this way. Was he betraying Lilly when he met this woman? But she did know something about her so there was a connection. Unfortunately there was no time left to think this over again as she was already too close now. He waved at her somewhat clumsily and tried to put on a friendly smile but he still looked like the walking dead. His complexion was pale and his eyes still had those deep cut rings. A short stubble had grown since they last met and August wasn’t sure if he actually had showered since their last meeting... One thing was sure, he smelled like a homeless drunk... “Hey... I’m glad you showed up. I wasn’t really expecting to see you again. Thank you.”, his voice was soft and warm and he really sounded grateful. She could see the sincerity of his intentions in his eyes.
  9. Shane perked up at her words. She’s going to help me?. He didn’t believe his ears but yet she was standing there and offering help – on her condition which was perfectly fine. It was a flicker of hope that she gave him and he thankfully accepted, no matter under which conditions. He would’ve blindfolded himself and tied his arms to his back and spent the whole two weeks on water and some bread alone just to get this chance she offered. He smiled at her – a warm and handsome smile full of compassion and most of all gratefullness. She had done something only Lilly had ever done before. She gave him a chance to show that he wasn’t evil. That most of the time he was trying to stay out of trouble but it somehow stuck to him like some kind of superglue which was impossible to wash away entirely. “Thank you.”, he said with his soft voice which was in strong contrast to the guttural sounds he managed to produce at the grocery store. How could someone be so kind and so batshit-crazy at the same time? If they had met under ‘normal’ circumstances she could’ve considered him cute and handsome – maybe even more given the right time and place. “You’re going to be ok? Do you want me to wait until someone picks you up?”, he wasn’t trying to gain more time in her presence. Shane was really concerned about her well-being and now that she had offered to help he didn’t want to risk losing her to some hobo who decided it was a good idea to take advantage of someone like her. His urge to protect her came directly from his love to Lilly, the similarities between the two women were incredible. Even the way she spoke or now how she stood there – it was Lilly. Just like Lilly. Maybe she had a twin sister somewhere and never told him?
  10. Ok - I updated my sheet and what I don't get - prior to editing it the formatting in HTML was just fine. Now that I made the changes (as requested) and updated the XP-Log the whole formatting is messed up again. I simply don't understand why it is behaving like this. Does anyone know a solution? Because right now the sheet just looks ugly and is difficult to read.
  11. There was a short moment of awkward silence. Shane didn’t know what to do – he had rushed head first into this without actually having any plan what to do and now the rollercoaster was on track... August was still half blinded and had no idea where they were going and waited for an opportune moment to make her escape – fortunately for her Shane had stopped yelling at her but the silence didn’t do much to improve the situation. They must’ve gotten into a less frequented suburb of L. A. since he was driving relatively slow and August couldn’t make out much traffic if she could trust her ears. “Listen... I.”, he was struggling for the right words and most of all because she said that kidnapping was part of hurting her. That was definitely not on his mind. If only she would listen to him and give him a chance but that wouldn’t happen. Hell, if he was in her situation he probably would’ve freaked out, too. He was a lunatic – but he wasn’t the bad guy. He wasn’t evil. “I’m not the bad guy... I’m sorry.”, he pulled over and stopped the truck, killing the engine. Then he reached past her to open the door. “I’m not the bad guy. I’m not kidnapping you, I am not going to hurt you. But I do need help.”, he looked at her but she was still unable to recognise his face, her vision was still too blurry. “Please help me.”, he pleaded keeping his hands on the wheel. He already saw her getting out of the truck and probably disappear forever. Why would fate play such a trick on him? Why couldn’t he leave all the bad things behind? “I killed my wife and I don’t know why... I don’t know what happened... it’s driving me insane.”, he felt very much like crying now but the last time he cried was when he was 8 years old and got seperated from his sister Sarah. He cried for days and they punished him for every tear he shed. He never cried again since then – most of the time he got angry instead. Furious, to be precise. Even now he could feel it. A primal rage that struggled for release. It had become a constant companion since that fateful night when he killed Lilly. Sometimes it felt like drowning to him – the rage gnawing away at his sanity until there only one thing left – pure killing instincts, unrestrained and even liberating to some degree but it always left a trail of pain and destruction. When he looked back there was only regret. “Just go... I didn’t mean to scare you.” I miss you Lilly. So much
  12. The truth was pouring out of her like hot lava melting away Shane’s fortress of stubborness. He wanted to refuse the truth but the words cut through directly to his cerebral cortex forever leaving a hot trail of truth in his minds eye. Lilly was dead. He killed her. With his own hands. Claws to be precise. Shane was staring at his hands, his body was trembling. His heart was pounding in his ears, almost blocking out any other sound and yet everything was so crystal clear like never before in his life. He felt an itch under his skin, an urge to break free and tear apart this truth he refused to believe. He wanted it to be a lie. He wanted to tear it apart with his claws. A wolf-like wail escaped his lips which ended in a single word... “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!” He felt it under his skin – his Uratha heritage wanted to break out and destroy but he knew it would not ease the pain. It would make everything worse. Shane stared at August-not-Lilly and a low rumbling snarled escaped from deep within his bowels producing a sound that was primal in nature. It incited one instinct – flee! Shane willed himself to stand still clenching his fists repeatedly just to keep himself from bursting out in a pounce and kill the first person who crossed his path. He looked at August-not-Lilly exposing his teeth like a wild animal, his canines looking elongated... more than humanly reasonable. No... he wouldn’t hurt her. She talked about Lilly – she knew her, had some kind of connection to her and he would be damned to lose that now. Even if this woman wasn’t Lilly – she was close enough and if he wanted to remain somewhat sane he had to know what was going on. With blinding speed he shoved the manager aside and picked up August-not-Lilly up and charged out of the Store. People jumped out of his way knowing that it was a bad idea to get involved in this crazy probably drug-induced insanity which was not worth risking once life over. Shane found his way to his Truck and more or less forced her inside trying to not hurt her unless she would do something stupid but the girl seemed momentarily too terrified to fight back. The engine roared and he found his way into L.A. traffic, trying to stay away from large roads and sirens... “Listen... I’m sorry... really... I... I know you’re not Lilly. I just... you just look so much like her and I wanted it to be true. Please you’ve got to believe me. I won’t hurt you, I never would... I... I... just need to know. I... Need...you.”, he confessed.
  13. Shane looked like a shot deer. His eyes stared through Harmon with a pain he had never seen before. Why was she doing this? Why was she lying? He was slowly and very gently putting her down making sure she was standing steady as his mind was searching for reasons why she was acting like this. “It wasn’t my fault.”, he explained, half talking to her and Harmon. It seemed as if he was talking to someone else actually or to the past, if you asked him. “Lilly, please... I can take you to the hospital – it’s ok, trust me.”, Shane tried very hard not to cry although felt like curling up in the darkest corner of this forsaken place and just weep until he’d run out of tears. But he was supposed to be strong, he was supposed to protect her. “I’m not gonna let you down, Lilly – I won’t fail you again” He was caught between self-pity and determination. Parts of him acted on instincts purely but he knew that those would surely complicate things and sooner or later cause irreversible and most of all permanent damage. His rationale tried to analyse what was transpiring but was fooled with false information. Information he so much wanted to believe in. He wanted her to be alive. He wanted this second chance – he needed a second chance or any chance to be precise else he could aswell throw himself off the next bridge... and survive the impact giving his cursed luck. “Lilly... please...”, he pleaded reaching out with one hand to her while he closed his eyes. Please...
  14. Her reaction caught him completely off guard. He wanted to give into his own pain and now he was left open and unprotected. If she could still see she would’ve seen the saddest look in his face yet but it quickly gave way to anger. “IT’S THEM! IT’S THEIR FAULT!”, he screamed furiously and got up searching for the fastest route out of this place. His instincts took over – something told him he should better flee else trouble would come his way. He looked at the whimpering woman and quickly scooped her up holding her gently in his strong arms trying to not give in to his urge to run away with her. People would surely start asking questions and create even more problems than he already had. So instead he forced himself to stay... stay and hope help would come. “Calm down, Honey. I got you.”, he spoke softly to her looking helplessly around. What was he supposed to do? He smelled the chemicals from the Mace she used and from the way she tried to cover her eyes she seemed to have hit herself with the devilish substance. His heart was beating fast and pounding in his ears but he couldn’t give in to his instincts, he needed help. “Can someone help us? Please... she’s in pain.”, he walked slowly towards the cashiers hoping that the store manager or anyone else who felt responsible would respond.
  15. The world had stopped spinning. Everything was quiet, all he heart was the beating of his heart. She was standing right there in front of him, immaculate. He didn’t dare touch her for this could only be a dream but it felt so real... oh so real. , she asked, her wonderful voice rang in his ears and then she collapsed. His dream collapsed like a card-house and he took his first breath since he saw her kicking the world back into speed. Sounds, smell, emotions assaulted him as he tried to understand, to grasp what was going on. Instinctively he reached down to her, he needed to protect her. Ignoring the mess she made he carefully pulled her closer hushing with a soothing voice, “It’s ok honey... it’s ok. I’m here now, I won’t let anyone hurt you, Lilly. I won’t fail you again, I promise.”, he was talking half to himself and tears were clouding his sight. He was struggling with the pain and anger that built inside his guts, the pain for the loss he went through and the anger it created because of his fucked up life. Why couldn’t they leave him alone – why couldn’t he have a normal life? “I’ll always love you, Lilly – always”
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